Monday, March 27, 2006

Pot Luck...

Things Today That Made Me Laugh Hysterically, Want to Rip My Hair Out, Pissed Me Off, Made Me Want to Puke, or a Combination of the Above...


~ Watched the psychotic red squirrel that lives in our backyard (whom Steve and I have affectionately dubbed "Little Fucker") chew the green fuzz off of our tennis ball and then pick it up and run away with it. The fucker stole our tennis ball!

~ Gushed over a picture that Hannah had just drawn and handed me, saying, "Yay! You made a letter 'H' again, just like your name!" (She does it quite often.) She looked at me and said, "That's not an H. That's a kid." Oh, um... sorry.

~ Wanted to hurl when Hannah asked for (and then ate) green beans for breakfast at 9:00 this morning. Ick.

~ Took the girls down the street to the gas station for milk, Slurpees, and cigarettes (for me, not them). We were greeted by the employees and managers that know me and was flattered when they heaped a buttload of Swedish fish and Laffy Taffy on the girls, free of charge.

~ Spent 6 hours (literally) outside today, since it was finally sunny.

~ Became dizzy standing the middle of the patio and spinning around, and around, and around as I (again) watched Hannah ride her bike around in a large circle.

~ Wasn't a bit surprised when Hannah grasped the concept of steering better and started purposely riding as fast as possible towards the bungalow and then veering at the last second to avoid slamming into the side of the house, all while laughing manaically.

~ Sat outside with the girls and painted with glitter paint, causing me to end up looking like a rejected Solid Gold dancer. Fucking glitter...

~ Was a bit disturbed when I stumbled upon the "
Unofficial Webiste of the Solid Girl Dancers". Uh huh. Get a life people... a life.

~ Bit my tongue as Steve fed the girls venison chip steaks, telling them it was steak, and watching them devour it. (Blech.)

~ Had my oh-so-demure 4-year-old give me a full-fledged punch to the gut when she got pissed at me this afternoon. After straigtening up (from doubling over), and catching my breath (from the wind knocked out of me), I sent her into the house and then thought... "Damn, that girl's got an arm!" (Seriously, I was impressed.) When I finally let her come back outside, I told her the story of how Houdini died and how you can never punch someone. (Because I'm sure it will make a lasting impression on a 4-year-old. [rolling eyes at myself])

~ While questioning me about mine and Steve's ages, and upon finding out that I'm older, Grace said, "Well then I love Daddy best because he's not so old."

~ While recalling the incident a few months ago when Steve saved our flaming steaks from the grill, Grace said, "Yup. My Daddy's a real live hero. He's no loser, that's for sure." I beg to differ, little one. ;)

19 comments:

mama_tulip said...

LOL. Grace cracks me up.

EE said...

Grace sucker punched you?! {shaking head}

We've had nice days....but it's only been like 40 and WINDY. I'm looking fwd to playing outside w/ the kids. Lucky you!

Emily said...

What's Swedish fish? (Sounds like the name for some porn site...)

LOL The Solid Gold site couldn't even spring for a paid for domain...tsk, tsk, tsk.....

Alien said...

LOL! Yes EE, she did. It's TOTALLY out of character for her, so it completely caught me off guard. I was like, what the HELL? LOL! I think she was just soooo tired and pissed that she lashed out. The closest thing was my jiggly gut. ;)

Alien said...

Swedish fish. Those red chewy fish candy. :)

Melissa said...

How the heck did Houdini die? By being punched in the gut by a four year old?

Chelle Y. said...

Houdini died by being punched (not by a four year old), had internal bleeding, went to to his underwater trick, but could not get out. Basically, he drowned because he was bleeding internally from the sucker punch! :o)

I think that is what happened! Make sure you do not do any swimming for a while, Alien! LOL

Amber said...

Holy crap. WHY would you guys know that about Houdini?? Is this something people know? Am I yet discovering another hole in my small town education? grrr.

Alien said...

LOL! I thought EVERYONE knew that about Houdini. A dude sucker punched him backstage and then he died. That's why I freak out whenever someone is punched in the stomach/kidney area. [blush]

Chelle Y. said...

Amber, I taught history. I am a loser at dumb information like that. Plus, I saw the movie! LOL

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Emily said...

See Alien!! Now you get free porn!! No more being upset that I get T-shirts and EE gets discounted vibes...you finally have something too!

YAY YOU!

Amber said...

What the hell?!!

EE said...

Snort! There you go Alien!

Melissa said...

Amber, I'm surprised we didn't know that or see the movie with Tony Curtis, as much as we loved those old movies.

LOL @ the porn spam.

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