Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Wednesday 11.30.2005)

1. Sent the girls off to daycare without much incident.

2. Threw on a pair of jeans and ran to get cigarettes. Ahhh... my sweet nicotine.

3. Went to the new Dunkin' Donuts and got a LARGE caramel latte with whipped cream and a glazed donut. It doesn't get much better than that.

4. Sat at the computer this morning, overwhelmed with all of the things I wanted to get done today, and not knowing where to start (and not wanting to start).

5. Took the cat to the vet for another urine sample and blood tests.

6. Saw a guy I know and his wife in the waiting room. They had a 3-month old baby with them and I almost shit my pants when he said they have a 13-month old too. Um, on purpose. ACK!

7. Sat in the damn waiting room for an hour and then they had to keep Salinger anyway because they couldn't get the urine sample they need because he's too damn fat.

8. Was happy to hear though, that the blood tests show he does not have diabetes. This is good, because I assure you, I am the last person that should have a pet with a medical condition that involves work on my part.

9. Left there catless and grabbed BK chicken fries and onion rings on my way home.

10. Sat around waiting for the horrendous toxic gas I get whenever I eat their onion rings.

11. Couldn't stop laughing when a group of us on one of my mommies board practically ordered every damn frame Red Envelope has on sale right now. At last count we were up to 45 of them. There's something seriously wrong with that. And yet, I'm hoping more of them order some so we can hit 50.

12. Didn't do much of anything productive today and don't feel much guilt about it, sadly enough.

13. Wondered if I have serious issues when my damn red dots wouldn't clear. I mean, should little red dots really affect me that much?

14. Finally changed the light bulb in the laundry room. That's right folks, after a good three months of digging for clothing (by touch) in there, I took it upon myself to change the light bulb, since it was obvious Steve wasn't going to be doing it anytime soon.

15. Didn't know whether to laugh or cry when it only took me a total of about 90 seconds. LOL!

16. Was pleased to see that Steve arrived home at a semi-decent hour from hunting tonight.

17. Don't know why I cared since he then spent a good 90 minutes on the phone with various people, telling them "The Story of the Dead Mystery Bear" and how the guys at the weigh station gave them a hard time.

18. Hannah ate all of my Spaghettios AND my meatballs tonight. I give up. Seriously, seriously give up.

19. Ate microwave popcorn instead.

20. Watched Steve take several large deer ticks off of his body after his day in the woods. Um, ewwww!

21. Wondered why I'm so freakin' cold. Like all the time.

22. Mmmmm.... Sawyer.

23. Figure my UPS guy was an artist in another life. Every time he leaves multiple packages outside my door, he stacks them in wonderful "sculptures." Today's sculpture included an old dining room chair, a case of beer stood up on its side (on top of the chair), and four packages arranged in a way that defied gravity on top of the beer. The man is talented.

24. Was a bit disturbed when a local Freecycler posted, requesting a male mannequin. The guy's name was Mike and he didn't say what he wants it for. I'm a bit frightened.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I've been tagged by the Tagging Queen...

10 Random things about me you may not know:

  1. I pick my nose daily.
  2. I have a birthmark right below my left butt cheek. (In case I'm ever murdered and they need to identify the body, perhaps all of you can keep this little tidbit in mind.)
  3. I have this bizarre habit where when I'm reading anything (like a newspaper or book), I have to have one page of it (and it can only be one page) gently resting on top of my left thumb. I've done it since I was a kid and it drives my sister insane.
  4. I don't like nearly as many people as I pretend to.
  5. I imagine what sex would be like with almost every good-looking guy I see. (Although sometimes I stop at just picturing them naked.)
  6. I rarely cut my toenails.
  7. I freak out when anyone touches my belly button or pulls on my little toe.
  8. I am obsessed with a particular person I dislike greatly and do everything in my power to annoy her, talk about her, and make fun of her with other people who know the way I feel.
  9. I clean parts of my house every day. Not because I care if it's clean or not. But because I'm addicted to the smells of cleaning products.
  10. "Onomatopoeia" is my favorite word in the English language.

9 Places I've visited:

  1. Walt Disney World, Florida
  2. Toronto, CANADA
  3. Niagara Falls (but I didn't know I was there and never actually saw the Falls.)
  4. Ocean City, NJ
  5. Maine
  6. St. Louis, Missouri
  7. New York City
  8. Way too many random guys' bedrooms
  9. Philadelphia

8 Ways to win my heart:

  1. Um, tell me I'm hot? That usually works pretty well. ;)
  2. Sing me a Frank Sinatra or James Taylor song.
  3. Don't be a pretty boy who takes longer to get ready than I do.
  4. Give me/buy me/hand me a beer.
  5. Laugh at my jokes.
  6. Make me laugh.
  7. Don't act like you're better than me (even if you are).
  8. Don't tell me to quit smoking.

7 Things I must do before I die:

  1. Meet my grandchildren.
  2. Organize my house.
  3. Be at the major events in my children's lives (weddings, graduations, births of their babies, etc.)
  4. Travel out west.
  5. Take a gondola ride in Venice.
  6. Have a regular weekly coffee date with a good friend, where we bitch about our husbands (or lovers, or whomever we're doing at the time), talk about our kids that have grown and moved on, and gossip about the other old biddies in the neighborhood.
  7. Raise a son.

6 Things I'm afraid of:

  1. Flying
  2. Midgets
  3. Knives
  4. Heights
  5. Drowning
  6. Snakes

5 Things I don't like:

  1. Bad drivers
  2. Snobs
  3. Pets
  4. Boring bloggers
  5. Vegetables

4 Ways to turn me off:

  1. Be a bad driver.
  2. Be a snob.
  3. Be a pet.
  4. Be a boring blogger.

3 things I do every day:

  1. Get online.
  2. Hug and kiss my kids.
  3. Pick my nose.

2 things that make me happy:

  1. My kids.
  2. Steve.

1 Thing that is on my mind right now:

  1. I have so much to do tomorrow that I can't even keep it all straight in my head. Fuck.

And I hereby "tag" Janet, Veronica, and Lisa. Go get 'em ladies!

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 11.29.2005)

1. Apparently fell back to sleep after the alarm went off at 6:00 this morning.

2. Woke up at 6:30 and had exactly 10 minutes to get Grace up and dressed, get her lunch packed, and write out the daycare check before my mom came to pick her up.

3. Miraculously managed to do it.

4. Was a little bummed when Hannah woke up only 10 minutes after Grace woke up, not giving me the half hour I wanted to chug some coffee and watch some non-kid TV.

5. Was giddy with excitement when I checked a few of my order statuses online and saw that three things were scheduled to arrive today.

6. Wondered how I was ever going to keep the Bunn coffee maker under wraps until Steve's birthday on December 17th.! Ugh.

7. Got a call from Steve saying he shot a bear.

8. Laughed when he said he thinks it was already dead. LMAO! (He thinks it was the one he shot at last week. It sucks though because finding it so much later kind of took the whole thrill out of it. He won't know if it was "his" until he can get the bullet out of it. But regardless, it looks like we'll have a bear rug sometime soon. Um, yay?)

9. Had Steve's insurance guy show up to collect a check this morning. I totally forgot he was coming and answered the door at 10:30 in my red w/ snowflakes PJ pants and a red sequined Christmas jammie top with no bra. Ugh.

10. Stood with my arms crossed the whole time so he wouldn't see my sagging boobs.

11. Am sure it was obvious what I was trying to do.

12. Didn't answer the door when 45 minutes later, the UPS guy knocked. Mostly because I was still unshowered, still braless, and still in my jammies.

13. Realized the UPS guy probably thinks we're white trash. Everytime he drops off a package, he sets them on top of the case of beer we keep out there to keep it cold.

14. Figured the other empty beer box that had blown into the middle of the driveway at some point this morning probably just helped justify his thinking.

15. Was thrilled with the personalized Christmas gifts I ordered from a fantastic website I stumbled upon last week. I really can't wait until Christmas this year!

16. Couldn't stop laughing when Hannah kept saying she looked like a "candy can" in her red and white striped jammies. (She meant candy cane.)

17. Was soooo excited when I flipped on the Cartoon Network and found an Animaniacs Christmas special, complete with Pinky and the Brain. I used to LOVE that show and wondered what the hell happened to it.

18. Was less than enthusiastic when Steve called and left a message while I was in the shower, saying that when he got back to my FIL's house later, he'd call me so the girls and I could come up and see the bear and the buck my FIL had also shot this morning. Yay. Big thrill, lemme tell ya. Ugh.

19. Was glad he left a message so he wouldn't hear in my voice that I really didn't feel like coming to see anything.

20. Found out the co-creator of the Berenstain bears died. Felt guilty admitting I've never liked the Berenstain bears.

21. My feelings were all justified when I read an article about him and found out he used to work with Dr. Seuss. Yup. That would do it. Blech.

22. Sat in my living room and watched a young girl/woman sit in her broken down truck in front of my house, hoping she wouldn't knock on my door, asking to use my phone or something. Not because I was afraid. Just because I didn't feel like being "helpful." I suck.

23. Was relieved when someone else helped her and I didn't need to get involved.

24. Convinced myself that the 20 (or so) mini Reese's Peanut Butter cups that I ate in one sitting really only added up to 2 normal sized ones.

25. Was excited when Grace's blowfish shower head arrived via the mailman. She'll be so excited on Christmas, freaky kid that she is.

26. Took all of the gifts downstairs to hide in the basement and was rather disturbed to discover an unopened box I've never seen before that's a do-it-yourself taxidermy kit. I have NO earthly idea where the thing came from, whose it was/is, or how it came into our possession.

27. Briefly considered wrapping it and giving it to Steve as a Christmas gift.

28. Ended up meeting Steve at my MIL's house (much closer than my FIL's house) to see the dead bear.

29. The girls and I stood there in the POURING down rain, in the dark, looking at a dead bear for 5 minutes by just the light of my car's headlights.

30. It made me wonder how the hell I ended up at this point in my life. LOL!

31. Came home and burned my friggin' finger on the french bread pizza I was getting out of the toaster oven.

32. Sat with an ice pack on it for 45 minutes and it still hurts.

32. Got a voice mail from my used-to-be-evil sister-in-law asking if I wanted her to make reservations for me and the girls (as well as her and her two boys) for breakfast with Santa at a nearby diner in December.

33. Am slightly baffled by this sudden interest in hanging out with me and the girls and was unsure how to respond to the invitation.

34. Laughed when Grace begged for the pretend shaving kit she spied in a toy catalog.

35. Explained that it's for boys that want to pretend to shave like their daddies and she cried and said girls want to shave like their daddies too. Um, you'll be eating those words in a few years kid.

36. Managed to make my last two cigarettes actually be four "smoke breaks" because Steve wasn't home to watch the girls while I ran to the gas station, and there was no way in HELL I was taking them with me to the gas station in the pouring down rain at night.

37. Briefly considered running to the gas station when they "weren't looking" since it's right down the street, but figured I could get arrested for that or something.

38. Had to answer the phone when my SIL called for the second time, and agreed to go along to the Breakfast with Santa gig. This could be good or bad.

39. Hung up and found Hannah and Grace in the bathroom, with wet sleeves. After a few questions and some probing, found out they had been sticking their hands in the toilet. For the love of freaking god... (Ask me again why I drink. I dare you.)

40. Decided that after sending the girls off to daycare tomorrow morning, I'm going to head to the new Dunkin' Donuts that opened up last week and get the biggest damn mocha latte they sell.

41. Had a soaking wet husband walk in the house around 10:00 tonight, fresh from skinning a bear and a deer, and inform me that his buddy is going to be picking up the bear tomorrow morning to take it to the taxidermist, where Steve will pay the guy about $1,000 for a rug. For the love of freakin' god dude. Are you kidding me with this? Dear Lord...

Monday, November 28, 2005

Ooo... some more fun stuff.

Your Blog Should Be Orange
Your writing has a star quality - it's charming, bold, and flamboyant.You write what's on your mind, without fear of embarrassment later.You are one of the most honest bloggers around, and people appreciate your daring persona.
What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 26% Pure
You're not one to kiss and tell...
But word is, you kiss pretty well.
Kissing Purity Test

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic
Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.
Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski
If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

On Average, You Would Sell Out For
At What Price Would You Sell Out?

You Are 26 Years Old
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
What Age Do You Act?

Your Hidden Talent
You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.And while this may not seem big, it can be.It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

You are
What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural
You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.
What Kind of Seducer Are You?

What Your Underwear Says About You
You have a lucky pair of underwear. And you wear it more than you should.
You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.
The Underwear Oracle

Your Observation Skills Get A C-
You tend to notice the big things in life...But the details aren't exactly your forte
How Observant Are You?

Your 1920's Name is:
Isabella Tillie

Highlights of the Day (Monday 11.28.2005)

1. Read my work email last night right before bed and saw I had an email from my project manager, sent on Saturday, saying they wanted an online help file by this morning.

2. Stayed up until 2:00 AM trying to finish it.

3. God bless Grace, she sat on the floor of her bedroom and read books until Hannah woke up, therefore giving me an extra hour of sleep without me even asking her to.

4. Came downstairs with 2 kids in tow, and managed to finish the online help file by 9:00 or so.

5. Got us dressed shortly after that and we all headed to the grocery store and the drug store.

6. Was happy to see they didn't have a repeat performance of yesterday's WalMart adventure, and instead, were very well behaved.

7. Swung by the beer distributor on the way home and grabbed a case of beer in order to not "suffer" as I did last night.

8. Spent the majority of the day browsing paint colors online, trying to decide what friggin' color to paint the kitchen this week.

9. Think I've finally decided. Um, maybe.

10. No matter how many times she says it, I simply can't not laugh when Grace and Hannah both refer to chicken pox as "chicken pops".

11. Made a fantastically delicious meal of chicken in the crock pot.

12. Realized that the only "real" food my kids ate today was a few chicken nuggets, and the rest of their day's diet consisted of curly Cheetos and milk. Yeah. I suck.

13. Gave the girls a bath for the first time in quite a few days. Not on purpose, but I don't bathe them every night in the winter, and I didn't realize how long it had been since the last time they'd had one. [sigh] Who the hell said I could have kids?

14. Realized Hannah is terrified of our inflatable snowman when the girls and I went outside tonight to pick him up (the wind had blown him over) and she was freakin' out. Being the mean mom I am, I kept walking her closer to him, trying to make her not be afraid. It didn't work.

15. Grace on the other hand, was body slamming the poor thing. ((((Snowman))))

16. Felt my heart swell when I walked back inside and found Grace and Hannah sitting in the corner with Grace talking lovingly to Hannah about how it's not real and everything's going to be okay while hugging her. [happy sigh]

17. Was touched when Grace told me she's going to marry me. When I told her she can't really marry me and that most women marry boys, she got very sad, so I just told her OK, she can marry me if she really wants to. She was thrilled.

18. Product recommendations: Swiffer Carpet Flick and Murphey's Oil Soap spray (like a Windex bottle). LOVE both.

19. Steve told me I rock tonight... and meant it. It's amazing what picking up a hoagie for hunting tomorrow can do for a relationship.

20. Am bummed that no new episodes of "Prison Break" are going to happen again until March. March?! Are you freakin' kidding me? [sigh]

21. Finished writing out a good chunk of my Christmas cards and figure I'll have them all done by the end of the week.

22. Got a call from the vet saying Salinger's urine sample was "abnormal" again, and they have to run a bunch more tests. Seriously. This cat is killing me.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Sunday 11.27.2005)

1. Had Grace & Steve wake me up at 6:00 this morning. [grumble grumble]

2. Said goodbye to Steve who was heading out to climb a mountain and look for animals. Or something like that... I don't ask anymore.

3. Got myself and the girls dressed and headed for WalMart at 8:00 this morning, figuring I'd go while all the "good people" were in church.

4. Had my normally well-behaved Hannah act like a child possessed by the devil himself.

5. Managed to refrain from leaving her there when she ran behind the checkout counter as I was paying.

6. Had two girls throw holy tantrums when I said that due to their behavior, no, they absolutely could not ride the Tigger boat ride on our way out.

7. Decided that also taking away their promised McDonald's breakfast would be a bit too harsh as punishment. (But only because I was seriously craving a bacon, egg, & cheese biscuit. Yes, I'm weak.)

8. Came home and actually had a fairly good day after I was done steaming at how they had acted in public.

9. Plugged our inflatable snowman into the new timer I had bought at WalMart that morning, therefore eliminating the risk I was taking of being mauled every night when I went into our pitch black front yard to unplug it. Hey, eight bucks is a small price to pay for my safety.

10. Grudgingly threw away our TV remote and replaced it with a new one. It was a good 5 years, my friend. But having to hold your batteries in with packing tape and needing to push up in exactly the right spot every time we wanted to use you so that the batteries were touching the right way was getting a bit... well... annoying. RIP my little buddy. Steve and I both fought long and hard for you, but I'm afraid we've lost the battle.

11. Took the girls to a cool Christmas lights display at a park down the street from us tonight. Both of them loved it, and Hannah especially had a blast.

12. Was glad to see there were no goose shootings while we were there. (Yes, it's that park.)

13. Accidentally stole an iced tea from the refreshment stand while we were there, but I didn't realize it until later.

14. Ordered a Bunn coffee maker today under the ruse that it's Steve's birthday gift. Truth is, I want it and couldn't justify the price to myself otherwise. I suck. (Or I rock depending on how you look at it.)

15. Watched Steve open and drink our last can of beer, and when I went downstairs to tap myself one from the keg, I had it kick after only spitting out half a cup. ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

16. Cursed Pennsylvania for only selling beer in official "beer stores" and only on certain days and at certain times. [sigh]

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Highlights of the Day (11.26.2005)

1. Woke to find we were out of toilet paper.

2. Took the box of tissues into the bathroom in the meantime.

3. Showered first thing and got the girls and I dressed so Steve and I could go pick up our tile as soon as he got home from helping someone pour a floor.

4. Took the girls to my parents' house and left them with just my dad until my mom got home from her haircut appointment.

5. Was a little nervous for him since the girls' behavior can go either way.

6. Laughed when Grace told me she'd like 2 more sisters. Um yeah, kid. That, I don't think is happening.

7. Like I knew he would, Steve changed our tile order a bit and wanted different sized tiles. The guy helping us (whom I later realized was the owner's son) said, while laughing, "I knew as soon as you walked in the other day, that you were one of those "special people" that I'd always remember." Yeah. Thanks dude. LOL!

8. Told him my mom always tells me I'm special too.

9. Told him I'd be back in a few weeks to pick out our back splash tile. I'm not sure if he's really looking forward to it, or if he's dreading it.

10. Guy asked Steve if he'd pour his girlfriend's floor for the sun room she wants to put in at her house.

11. Was a little bummed to hear he has a girlfriend, even though, it really shouldn't matter to me either way.

12. Saw the blonde bitch while I was there and again, had to fight the urge to punch her in the face.

13. Left the tile place loaded up with materials and headed to a kick ass steak house for lunch.

14. Ate a fantastic fillet Mignon with garlic butter and wanted to throw up afterwards because I was so stuffed.

15. Casually mentioned another baby to Steve while at lunch, not even sure if I want another one, and realized that if I do decide I want another one, it probably wouldn't take much to convince Steve to go along with it.

16. Got home at 3:00 and immediately called my mom, and found out that Hannah hadn't napped.

17. Realized she'd probably be miserable tonight, but at the same time, figured I could put her to bed at 7:00, so it wasn't all bad.

18. Picked up the kids and brought them home to find our neighbor zooming around his yard on a 4-wheeler.

19. Laughed as Grace got about 6 rides on the thing, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Faster! Faster!" while Hannah screamed in terror every time the thing got close to her.

20. Realized my kids couldn't be more opposite if they tried.

21. Pried Grace off the thing and brought the girls inside.

22. Laughed for a good hour when after telling Hannah we'd make crafts after we cleaned up, she kept saying, "Can we make crabs now? I wanna make crabs now please!"

23. Am having anxiety attacks over picking a paint color for the walls in the kitchen now that I have to choose and get it painted this week.

24. Decided to give up all attempts to have a clean and clutter-free house until my kids have grown up and moved out.

25. Had Hannah in bed by 7:30 and Grace in bed by 8:10. I freakin' ROCK!

26. Settled in for an evening of "Moving Up," "Trading Spaces," beer, and some raw cookie dough with a good novel for during the commercials. Ahhh...

Hey gang. I'm alive. Just busy as hell...

Thanksgiving was nice. Grace wouldn't sit still at the restaurant (which I had expected), and both girls were demons at my FIL's house and I spent the whole evening yelling at them. But they looked cute. ;)

Since then, we've been busy as hell. Steve sanded all the drywall in the kitchen yesterday. Despite all of his efforts, the fine dust seeped through cracks and my entire friggin' downstairs was covered with it. So while he spent the entire day sanding, I spent the entire day cleaning. What really sucked is that I had just spent hours cleaning before he started sanding, never expecting to have to do it all over again a few hours later. [sigh]

Today we're picking up the tile and hopefully, I'll be getting a coat of primer on everything. Busy, busy, busy!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Wednesday 11.23.3005)

1. Woke up and sent the girls off to daycare. (But not without a fight from Grace.)

2. Got online to check email, while I kept one eye on the clock, knowing I had to leave at 9:15 to get to my 10:15 appointment for my pap smear.

3. Got a call at 7:30 from the vet, saying they had gotten the needed urine sample from Salinger and that I could pick him up.

4. Realized this seriously threw a wrench into my carefully planned schedule, and jumped in the shower and got dressed in record speed.

5. Stopped at WalMart to get the girls some snowboots, since we're supposedly supposed to get 1 to 3 inches of the white stuff tonight and the girls are raring to go out and play in it as soon as there's one flake on the ground.

6. Sped through the McD's drive-thru and inhaled my bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit on the way to the vet.

7. Picked up my stinky assed cat and flew home.

8. Threw the cat upstairs, penned him in the upstairs kitchen, grabbed everything I needed for my errands for the day (granite sample, check from our loan account, a bunch of clothing to return to the mall, my paper to pick up the girls' portraits, etc.), and jumped into the car.

9. On the way to my pap smear, watched a car start to pull out in front of me, but then slammed on the brakes just in time.

10. Was nanoseconds away from flipping off the driver until I saw the driver was an old nun. Slow down, oh holy one! GEEZ!

11. Had my OB/GYN try to convince me during the entire appointment that I really should get knocked up again.

12. For the life of me, couldn't recall ever having a rectal exam during my annual visit, like I did today. Yowsa!

13. Hoped during the entire appointment that my crotch didn't smell and that I wouldn't fart.

14. Missed my turn to go to the tile place after the appointment.

15. Using what I thought was logic, banged a right and figured I'd bang another right at the end of the block and turn onto the street with the tile place from the other direction.

16. Apparently, streets in real cities don't work that way, and I ended up being lost for about 45 minutes and ending up WAY on the other side of the city.

17. Had a bastard in a delivery truck behind me lay on his horn and flip me off because I hadn't just run a redlight! Dude, are you fucking kidding me?

18. Contemplated flipping him off right back, but was afraid I'd get shot.

19. Thanked god yet again that I live in a small hick town.

20. Managed to find the tile place and had chosen a tile and grout in about 20 minutes flat.

21. Saw the bitchy lady who "helped" me last time I was there, and after watching her from afar for a few minutes, decided she really is a bitch, and wasn't just having a bad day the last time I was there.

22. Laughed out loud (and yes, she heard me) when she snagged her pants on a cardboard box near her desk. She didn't think it was quite so funny.

23. Made my way to the mall where I became increasingly annoyed at the other shoppers, ignorant people, and those damn people who try to stop you and sell you something when you walk past their pathetic kiosks where they're selling the latest gadget, gizmo, or beauty product. Death be to the mall kiosk, I say.

24. Grabbed Steve and I jeans at the GAP, but later found out I had switched Steve's waist measurement and inseam measurement around in my head, and I'll have to return them. Dammit.

25. Came home and spent the next 3 or 4 hours intermittently trying to get the dried cat crap out of Salinger's butt fur. This involved baby wipes, wet paper towels, and scissors.

26. Wondered yet again what the benefits of having pets is.

27. Was truly disappointed that Steve couldn't find the bear he thought he shot yesterday. Poor guy.

28. Realized that the mailman and UPS guy are going to hate me over the next week or two, since I have about 20-25 seperate packages (literally) coming to my house.

29. Was guiltily pleased to find out my MIL has a slight touch of the flu, since this means she doesn't feel like cooking a big Thanksgiving dinner, we have an excuse to put off our "Thanksgiving visit" for a day or two, and we can go to my FIL's house without trying to cram a third house into our schedule for the day.

30. Just typed that above and realized I'll now wake up with a horrendous case of the flu because of that whole "karma" thing.

31. Had three separate lightbulbs burn out on me tonight. There has got to be some weird energy in the air or something tonight.

32. OR, someone is trying to kill me and is methodically breaking lights so that no one will be able to witness the crime.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 11.22.2005)

1. Woke up on time (amazing considering Steve usually wakes me up and he had already left for hunting) using an alarm and got the girls ready for daycare on time.

2. Panicked when I saw my pack of cigarettes sitting on a shelf, in plain view, and tried to nonchalantly stand in front of it while my parents were here picking up the girls this morning, praying to god they didn't see it.

3. Lit one up and had me a good morning smoke as soon as they pulled out of the driveway.

4. Put off going upstairs to check on Salinger. One, because the smell of cat diarrhea was overwhelming up there. And two, because I was afraid he was dead.

5. Called a new vet to see if I could bring him in and was told she isn't accepting new patients.

6. Called the old "animal killer" vet (LOL!) and told them I was bringing him in so they could check him out and get a urine sample.

7. Finished reading my book.

8. Took the cat to the vet to drop him off, where I was told that the smell eminating off of him "smells more like anal gland fluid than regular cat poop." OK lady. First of all, that is way more than I needed to know. And second of all, ewwwwww!

9. Bought a can of super industrial strength cat shit odor remover while I was there.

10. Laughed when the FedEx guy pulled in and dropped off a dog that had been running in the street and jumped in his truck. Yay for the nice FedEx guy. (Who was freakin' HOT I might add!)

11. Came home and scrubbed cat crap out of my carpet upstairs. [sigh]

12. Managed to sneak in a few hours of actual work.

13. Called the OB/GYN to confirm that I do indeed have an appointment for a pap smear tomorrow morning that I apparently scheduled a year ago and have written in my planner.

14. Was told that yes, I do have an appointment. Um, don't you think they should have been calling me to confirm? I mean, do they really think people are going to remember appointments they scheduled a year before? Losers.

15. Watched the first snow flurries of the season start falling around 5 PM tonight. Yay. Not.

16. Got a phone call from Steve saying he definitely hit a bear today, but he doesn't know if he killed the bear. And that he and his dad are going to go scout for it tomorrow to see if they can find it.

17. Got increasingly annoyed at Steve this evening when he talked on the phone for THREE hours straight with all of his hunting buddies. Some of them several times. Because you know, once you hang up with one, you have to call the other three to tell them what the first one said. And then you have call the first one back to tell them what the other three said. I swear to god, he was like a freakin' woman tonight.

18. Managed to somehow miraculously have both girls sleeping by the time "Amazing Race" started at 9:00.

19. However, I'm a bit concerned that Grace fell asleep before I made her go to the potty, which means I could very well get a little midnight bath in bed tonight. [sigh]

20. Have continued finding kick ass deals online in terms of shopping and I really must stop now. No really. I must.

21. Am happy to report I never plugged in the big ass snowman tonight, so I don't have to go outside and risk getting mauled to unplug it.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Monday 11.21.2005)

1. Woke up way earlier than I wanted to. Remember the days we could sleep in until like... nine? Ahhhh....

2. Plopped the girls in front of morning TV, chugged my coffee, and started obsessively checking websites again for Christmas shopping purposes.

3. Finally opened the package I received in the mail on Saturday, but didn't get a chance to open until today. Since I knew they were hand-me-down snow boots from my kick ass friend, and it hasn't snowed yet, I wasn't in a big rush.

4. Listening to Grace whimper and cry and ask why Hannah always gets the packages and she doesn't. (Huh?)

5. Was thrilled to open the box and find, in addition to the boots, 2 adorable little panda bear purses.

6. My pleasure turned to frustration a few minutes later when I had to listen to Grace whine for an hour that we simply had to go shopping somewhere now that she had a purse and a handful of change in it.

7. Realized I needed a loaf of bread and apple juice for the girls' daycare T-Day parties tomorrow anyway, so I humored her and took them "shopping".

8. Was giddy with excitement when I finally clicked the Order button on the website, thereby placing my one order for over 85% of my Christmas shopping.

9. Half chuckled to myself when the girls begged me to give them a bath and I kept saying that no they didn't need one, until I finally gave in and washed 'em up. I despise giving them a bath. Stupid motherly duties... ;)

10. Watched in disbelief and awe when Grace devoured NINE chicken nuggets for dinner tonight. NINE! She's only four for the love of god. I can't eat 4 or 5 without being full. How the hell did the child eat nine? [shaking head]

11. Watched her sister sitting next to her eat a whopping 5 Golden Grahams. With milk though, so I guess it could be worse. [sigh]

12. Found a better deal on one of the girls' Christmas gifts and ordered it a second time from another site.

13. Was pleased as shit when I found out I could cancel those items on my first order through Amazon, as long as they hadn't shipped yet. Yay for Amazon!

14. Speaking of shit... GODDAMN CAT!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

15. In spite of Carpet Fresh-ing, scrubbing, and vacuuming no less than three times in the upstairs room where Salinger was gated (thankfully before starting his bout with diarrhea), I couldn't get the smell out of the air. Son of a b*tch...

16. Had to take a freakin' oil lamp upstairs and try to use it to check for cat crap in the laundry room, where my darling husband has still not changed the lightbulb.

17. Felt sorry for the poor guy despite the mess he made. Poor thing is hurting.

18. Decided to try a new vet tomorrow. Maybe a fresh set of eyes will help.

19. Confirmed my decision when Steve informed me that he's talked to two people who swear our current vet is the reason their pets died. (LOL! Not so sure about that one...)

20. Steve got home from the first day of bear season and I had to listen to him talk to me for an hour about his bear sighting today. Dude, until you learn to tell a story in under an hour and without branching off into 10 different other stories, I've got nothing to say to you. Sorry.

21. Just realized our stupid inflatibe snowman needs to be unplugged again. And everyone else is sleeping. And it's pouring down rain right now. Stupid, stupid inflatible decoration sale!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Sunday 11.20.2005)

1. Sent Grace into Hannah's room this morning when I heard her over the monitor.

2. Laid there, dozing in and out while listening to the two of them have a fantastic conversation, making me smile.

3. Wanted to beat both of them about an hour later when they were bouncing off the walls, trashing the place, and being particularly defiant.

4. Walked into Grace's room just in time to see Hannah take a header off the side of Grace's bed, where she had been jumping.

5. After making sure she was OK, gave her the whole, "See what happens when you don't listen..." speech I swore I'd never give my kids.

6. Took the girls to Country Junction, The World's Largest General Store, where I was thrilled to find all of their huge inflatible yard Christmas thingees for only $30 each.

7. Told the girls to pick one since they've been begging me forever to get one, but I refused to pay the normal $70 price.

8. Found out they were having a little carnival there, and it was nice, so we spent a few hours riding the rides, eating funnel cake, and having a fantastic time.

9. Out of the blue, thought about the old sitcom "Kate & Alli" and remembered how much I used to love that show and how I always thought Kate was so cool! What the hell happened to the chick that played her anyway?

10. Realized that today is Hunting Season Eve, as I watched Steve spend half the day "preparing" for the first day of bear season tomorrow. Yay.

11. Chuckled a bit to myself when I ran to the grocery store (for Steve) and came home to have him tell me the girls had been a bit, um, difficult. Welcome to my world, dude.

12. Ordered some more Christmas gifts online.

13. Made it a personal mission to be completely done Christmas shopping by December 1st. I can do it dammit! I know I can!

14. Got take-out pizza and take-out wings for dinner today. Because we're pigs like that.

15. Was a little annoyed when later I realized that I had shelled out the cash for both of them. That Steve's a sneaky little bastard, lemme tell ya.

16. Am sitting here annoyed that Steve fell asleep in the recliner (big shock), which means I'll have to go outside in the cold and traipse across our entire (dark) front yard to unplug the stupid large inflatible snowman that he decided to put up tonight, even though I suggested we wait until after Thanksgiving.

17. If none of you hear from me tomorrow, it means that whatever creature/psycho/ghost I heard in my front yard last week ravaged me when I went out to unplug the inflatible snowman and the baby snowman on its shoulders.

18. Wondered if Steve would feel guilty if I was ravaged during the unplugging.

19. Remembered that my MIL's birthday is the first week in December and we (read: I) have to go get her a birthday gift before then.

20. Also remembered that Steve's birthday is a week and a half after that and I have to get him a gift too. Stupid December babies.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Um yeah. I suck.

[blushing profusely]

Sorry gang. I know I've been slacking big time in the blog department, but everytime I get online, I end up doing my Christmas shopping. I swear I'll blog tomorrow night. Honest... For real...

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Hola Gang!

Sorry. No time or energy for a highlights list tonight. I lost my internet connection yesterday around 3:00 and didn't get it back until 3:00 today. It SUCKED and at first, I felt sort of lost. But today, the girls went to daycare and Steve went to work, so I had the whole house to myself and no other humans to get in my way.

However, I also had no contact with the outside world since the phone line and internet connection were both non-existant. So what did I do? I kicked ASS cleaning Hannah's room. I went through every freakin' piece of clothing in the child's closet, on her floor, in the large plastic bins covering every inch of the perimeter of her room, etc. Things went into either new bins, her closet, her dresser, or large bags to be donated. That room is spotless and I am so freakin' glad it's over with. She even thanked me tonight for cleaning it and told me she likes it that way. Um, yeah. Way to lay on that guilt trip kid. LOL!

And in between cleaning her room, I also read half of a book and got 5 loads of laundry done and put away.

And now, since I was offline for 24-hours, I must catch up on random boards, email accounts, and do some online Christmas shopping. I'll be back tomorrow. I swear.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 11.15.2005)

1. Woke up and sent Grace off to daycare.

2. Was bummed when Hannah woke up only 5 minutes later. (Sometimes I get a good hour of coffee and the morning news before she wakes up.)

3. Decided to throw caution to the wind and let Hannah run around with underwear (sans diaper) today. She's been doing pretty well with the potty, so why not, right?

4. Was pleasantly surprised when she only had 2 pee accidents and 1 poop accident, but peed on the potty a good 10 times. Yay Hannah!

5. Steve and I were thrilled beyond belief when our electrician said he's going to give us a deal and all of his work will probably only cost us about $1,000. We were figuring on around $4,000 (which is what it should be)! I may get those stainless steel appliances and fancier granite edging after all. Sa-weet!

6. Was seriously annoyed at Steve when he talked to the kitchen guy and hung up and seemed genuinely surprised when he was told that cabinet installation was scheduled for the Monday after Thanksgiving and that we'd have to have everything ready to go by then if that's when we wanted them installed. Dude, I told you that FIVE FREAKIN' TIMES! I swear to god, I don't know why I bother talking to him. It's not like he, ya know, listens. Dear Lord...

7. My annoyance turned to glee when Steve finished drywalling and put the tape and first coat of spackle on. The poor guy's still working now and it's 10:40 with a good hour of work left. Looks like I'll be priming and painting this weekend. YEEHAW!!!

8. Was bummed to find out Amazing Race wouldn't be on tonight because of the dorky country music awards. Dammit.

9. Realized that's probably good since I HAVE to finish up the final draft of my user guide by tomorrow morning.

10. My mom and I took the girls for their flu shots after daycare today.

11. Chuckled to myself when Grace cried for about 10 seconds, but Hannah didn't cry at all.

12. Took them to Burger King as a "reward" for being so brave, because Grace has been begging for one of those Star Wars watches (b/c it's a watch... not b/c it's Star Wars) ever since they came out.

13. Thanked GOD I checked our bags before we left the parking lot because they didn't give us the watches.

14. Went back through the drive-thru and got the watches.

15. Spent an hour trying to get Grace's earring back through her ear after she got it caught on her stuffed dog and ripped it out.

16. Laughed to myself when she finally calmed down enough for me to get it back in, but only because she started chanting, "Nummmm.... Nummmm... Nummmm..." to herself for about 15 minutes.

17. Conversation with Grace:

Me: "Hey Grace, would you like to take karate lessons?"
Grace: "Yeah! That would be cool!"
Grace: "But how will I fight? Will I make someone dead?"

Only if you're really good, my friend... (I didn't actually say that.)

18. Decided I need to stop blogging and get my ass back to work.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Monday 11.14.2005)

1. Woke up with excruciating pain behind my one shoulder blade and shooting down my entire arm to my fingertips. STUPID pulled muscle (?) from a few weeks ago.

2. Immediately took two Advil and hoped for the best.

3. Took two hours until I could get myself and the girls ready and dressed so we could go to the vet and get cat food. Why are children only quick when they're doing something they're not supposed to be doing?

4. Finally managed to get there and the receptionist gave Grace a leash for her stuffed puppy.

5. This sparked a huge crying fit all the way home because she said she wants a real dog to use the leash on. Yeah. It ain't happening.

6. Got home and immediately went outside to jump in leaves and play Hide-and-Seek again.

7. Came in when Grace got hurt (I don't even remember how or which body part anymore) and was secretly glad.

8. Made more cookies out of our Tub O' Dough with the mental excuse that Grace wanted them, when in reality, I wanted them.

9. Ate as much (if not more) raw dough than baked dough.

10. Steve got home from work at 3:00 and started drywalling again, where he stayed until 9:00 tonight. The man is a machine (and my hero).

11. Am having serious anxiety attacks because I have to go buy the paint this week and have no CLUE what color to get. ARG!

12. Seriously considered locking my children in their rooms tonight when they were completely out of control, destroying things, causing chaos, and being little shits in general.

13. Decided to start drinking beer and smoking cigarettes instead.

14. Ate dinner at 9:30. [sigh] I cannot wait until our house is in normal working order again and we have time to, ya know, eat and talk and stuff.

15. Several times throughout the day, considered just cutting my shoulder and arm off to put myself out of my misery.

16. Received an email with a link to the girls Christmas picture session and am even more pleased with them than I originally thought I was. I can't wait to see the actual prints of them.

17. Wanted to shove Steve's radio up his ass since we can't hear anything over it when he's playing it while working in the kitchen, but figured it's a small price to pay for all the hard work he's been doing. [sigh]

18. Ordered a buttload of books from the girls' Scholastic book orders as Christmas gifts. Is it weird that I'm really excited to get them and will probably read every damn one of them before giving them to the various gift recipients?

19. Except the numerous non-fiction books about snakes and sharks I ordered for Grace. I guarantee you, those will be her favorite. Little freak.

20. Am having a blast looking for ornaments online for my various Secret Santa buddies. Good times, I tell ya.

21. Decided that if my back hurts this bad tomorrow, I'm just going to pop whatever kickass prescription pain meds we have lying around and pass out on the couch. Hannah can fend for herself for the day.

22. Laughed out loud when while in the car today, we were talking about what people will be when they grow up. Grace said a veterinarian and when she asked Hannah what she is going to be when she grows up, Hannah said, "A big poopy head." Um, as opposed to the little one you are now? LOL!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Sunday 11.13.2005)

1. Was pleased to sleep in until 7:15. Steve and Tommie were gone, on their way up to some godforsaken mountain to prepare for hunting season, and Grace was at my mom's.

2. Talked to my MIL on the phone, trying to figure out a "big gift" ($100 per kid) that she could get for the girls for Christmas. Anyone wanna help think of something?

3. Grace showed up before I had a chance to shower, so I had two kids running around trashing the upstairs while I stood in the hot shower ignoring them.

4. Got them dressed and managed to interest them in a TV show while I got most of the downstairs vacuumed and my clean dishes put away.

5. Took them outside to rake leaves and jump in them. It was Hannah's first time and both girls had a BLAST!

6. Came in and made pink and green pizza from the Crayola pizza kit we bought through a fundraiser.

7. Neither girl would actually eat it though (apparently making it was the real thrill), so I had to eat two pieces.

8. But I was hungry anyway, so it's all good. (And a welcomed change, since usually they're eating my food.)

9. Took the girls back outside after Hannah's nap and had a blast.

10. Suggested they take their Barbie Jeep 4-wheeling through our leaf mountain. Was rather bummed when it didn't really work. :(

11. Played Hide-and-Seek and couldn't stop laughing when Hannah would look right at us while we were hiding and would say, "Hmmm... I just can't find Mommy." I guess I'm rubbing off on her. ;)

12. Laughed even harder when Hannah said, "Mommy, go in the house please." When I asked why, she said, "So you don't lell [yell] at me when I climb up the slide." [Snort!]

13. Kept them outside until dark in an attempt to get them in bed early tonight.

14. Wasn't sure whether to ring Grace's neck or laugh when she came back from the bathroom and told me she had peed all over the floor. When asked how, she said she tried to pee standing up like a boy. [sigh]

15. Was thrilled when Steve came down off the mountain early so he could start drywalling the walls in the kitchen. He's over halfway there. YEEHAW!

16. Realized even after picking our countertops and floor tiles, I have no CLUE what color to paint the walls. Dammit. I need a designer. If only I were independently wealthy. [sigh]

17. Watched Grace fall asleep at 8:15, on the living room floor, with 2 TVs on, Hannah babbling, Steve sawing and drilling over in the kitchen, and me talking on the phone. I guess she was tired.

18. Laughed my ass off when Grace told me that if we buy a big dog, then she can sleep with the dog and I "can go sleep with Daddy again." That damn kid cracks me up...

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Saturday 11.12.2005)

1. Woke up and immediately started getting ready to take Hannah to my parents' house and go choose our granite slab.

2. Took Hannah to Grandma's and thankfully, she didn't cry when I left. MUCH less guilt going on there.

3. Came back home, put Grace's booster seat in Steve's truck and we all took off for the granite place (I followed in my car).

4. Found the granite place and chuckled a bit to learn that Grace had cried ALL THE WAY DOWN (30 minutes) because she decided she would've rather rode with me.

5. Walked around the granite place and was thrilled when we both agreed on a color and particular slab within 10 minutes of being there. It is the record for a decision in this kitchen remodeling process.

6. Because we didn't take long to pick granite, I now had an hour to kill before Grace and I could go to the birthday party.

7. This was good since I still hadn't bought the poor birthday boy a card OR a gift yet. (Because I suck like that.)

8. Grace convinced me we should go to ToysRUs to get Danny a gift. [sigh]

9. Grabbed him a cool set of Lincoln Logs.

10. Grace used her tooth fairy money to buy herself a Rescue Pet dog that whimpers constantly while wagging its tail and bobbing its head. Because we certainly needed another noise-making stuffed animal in the house.

11. Went to the party where Grace was thrilled to see they had rented a bounce house for the day.

12. Was pleasantly surprised to see how many dads had brought their kids to the party. I always think that's cool.

13. At the party, I met the wimpiest, quickest to cry kid I've ever met in my life. I seriously don't know how his dad kept his patience with him. Oy.

14. While standing at the party, realized I'd bought the kid a Happy 4th Birthday card, when in reality, he was turning 5. Oops.

15. Informed the mom about the card before he opened it. She already knows I'm an idiot, so it was all good. [sigh]

16. Was pleased to see that the Lincoln Logs thrilled the mom. Every single other gift was some plastic, flashing Power Ranger toy and I'm sure the mom has got to be sick of stuff like that.

17. Had to argue with Grace for about an hour that no, she could not continue to jump in the bounce house and yes, we did have to leave now. Dear Lord...

18. Came home and had to leave immediately again to go pick up Hannah.

19. Grace decided she wanted to sleep over at my mom's, so I went there and did a "kid exchange," taking one and leaving the other.

20. Hannah and I went and bought Steve more drywall screws.

21. Admired Steve when he worked over 10 hours straight, drywalling the ceiling in the kitchen, finally finishing at 10:00 at night.

22. My nephew slept over again. He's such a good kid. I can only hope mine are half as great as he is.

23. Finally got Hannah to bed at 9:45 and sat down to drink my beer and watch my Saturday night TLC lineup. Life is good...

Friday, November 11, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Friday 11.11.2005)


I just typed out my entire 25 highlights and accidentally deleted it. It wasn't even blogger's fault this time. Son of a b*tch!

OK. Revised version...

1. My mom ended up staying home from work b/c she has a raging bladder/UTI infection, but had to watch the girls because of my meeting and I felt bad.

2. The commute wasn't as bad as I thought, and I got a lot accomplished today and it was nice having some adult interaction.

3. Rushed home and had exactly 2 spare minutes to fit in a quick pee before running back out the door to go pick up Grace for gymnastics.

4. Was not happy I didn't have time to change out of my "business attire."

5. Laughed when Grace yelled across the gym, in the middle of class, "Hey Mom! Are we going to Long John Silver's after this?!"

6. Was LMAO when I was talking to a mother there that I've talked to the most so far, and we discovered that her MIL used to date my FIL and that she's the one who broke up his second marriage.

7. Laughed even harder when I found out that this mom went to several holiday celebrations at my FIL's house back when her MIL and my FIL were dating.

8. Had tears running out of my eyes when the mom said that her MIL still, to this day, thinks that my FIL is/was her one true love. Um, why?

9. Left there and had to hit three seperate drive-thru's at three seperate fast food joints so everyone would be pleased with (and therefore eat) their dinners.

10. Came home and told Steve about the woman's MIL and he laughed, said he remembered the woman's son, and commented that he never could figure out what his dad ever saw in the woman.

11. At this point, was suffering from serious withdrawl at not having an internet connection the entire day.

12. Tried to coordinate children and vehicles so Steve and I can go pick our granite in the morning and then Grace and I can go to her friend's birthday party.

13. I'm still not sure exactly what is going on.

14. Just went outside to smoke a cigarette and heard footsteps in the leaves about 30 feet from me.

15. It was pitch dark, so I couldn't see exactly who/what was making the noise.

16. Starting imaging horrendous psycho serial killer scenarios.

17. High-tailed it back in the house.

18. Grabbed two beers from the case outside the door on my way back in, so I wouldn't have to unlock/open the door again tonight and be faced by the psycho serial killer.

19. Discovered one of my friends is a self-proclaimed cheater. [shaking head] What's this world coming to?

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Highlights of the Day (11.10.2005)

1) Was running a bit late this morning and had to practically throw clothing on Grace and Hannah before my mom showed up to pick them up for daycare.

2) Made arrangements to send the girls to daycare tomorrow, so I can go to this stupid friggin' meeting in god-forsaken New Jersey. [sigh]

3) Realized that showing up at a well-known client's office wearing my low-rise bootcut jeans and an Old Navy tee may be frowned upon.

4) Went and forked out money for black dress pants, black heeled boots, and a pink sweater twin set to wear tomorrow. I swear to god, the outfit is soooo NOT me it's funny.

5) Paid for the items knowing I'd probably never wear any of them again after tomorrow (except for maybe the boots).

6) The electrician showed up and is now done until after the cabinets are installed. Hallelujah!

7) Made appointments for the girls to get their flu shots next week. Fun.

8) Remembered Grace has gymnastics tomorrow evening and I have no CLUE if I'll be home from New Jersey in time to take her or not. I should really make other arrangements I suppose.

9) Tried my new outfit on when I got home and couldn't decide if I looked hot, ridiculous, or both.

10) Cannot figure out for the life of me, how it is that Steve just went shopping three days ago, and yet, I swear there's nothing to eat in the house. (Well, that I like to eat anyway.)

11) Am finding myself excited about Christmas this year now that I'll actually have some money to buy some gifts.

12) Called the kitchen guy and told him cabinet installation for next week is out. But that we're aiming for the week after Thanksgiving. He said that would make our countertop installation be the second week in December. O...M...G! It may really happen!

13) Was pleasantly surprised when my mom told me the daycare director said I don't have to pay to send the girls tomorrow even though it's not a day they normally go. He's usually a money-grubbing bastard. LOL!

14) They moved my meeting until 10:00 instead of 9:30. That's great for my morning commute, but it probably means I'll be there later and have to drive home in Friday evening traffic. This BLOWS!!!!

15) Had Burger King chicken fries for lunch. It's been awhile and they're all I remember and more.

16) Started having a killer backache and pain in my legs after dinner and am praying it's just my arthritis and that I'm not getting sick or that I don't have cancer or something.

17) At one point, thought my vision was getting blurry and had flashbacks to my iritis episode when I was pregnant with Grace where I couldn't see or drive for months.

18) Then I remembered that when I was outside starting sausage on the grill, it was windy and when I sprayed the grill with PAM, some of it blew back in my face. Um yeah, my "blurry vision" was just some smeary PAM on my glasses. I'm smart like that.

19) Managed to pack the girls' lunches for tomorrow and get all of their clothing laid out to save myself time in the morning, since I have to leave practically immediately after they do. This is a huge feat for me. Trust me on this one.

20) Wondered if the writers for the show "Lost" actually know what's going to happen and what's going on on that island, or if they're just making it up as they go.

21) Decided I'd be pissed if I was an actor on that show and they killed me off.

22) Ate a quarter of a jar of Nutella while watching Survivor. Health food ROCKS!

23) Received my Secret Santa email for my mom's board and am excited to buy for her. :)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Life with Grace...

Conversation with Grace This Evening...

Me [laughing]: Hey, Grace! Guess what Hannah said today. She said when she grows up, she's going to be a baby doll! Isn't that funny?

Grace [not even looking up from her coloring book]: Yeah. I told her that the other day. I think she believes me.

Nice Grace. Real nice.


Grace's Day at Daycare, as told to Grandma by Grace's Teacher...

Grace walks over to Miss Christina, her teacher, and says, "Now don't yell at me, and don't get all excited or anything. I'll clean it up myself. But I just wanted to let you know I spilled my yogurt."


Highlights of the Day (Wednesday 11.9.2005)

1) Sent both girls off to school and sat at the computer to enjoy my cup, er, I mean pot of coffee.

2) Showered earlier than I wanted to so I could run to two seperate banks (in two seperate towns) to get and deposit money in my checking account right when they opened to avoid anymore overdrawn fees or possible bounced checks.

3) Stopped and paid our school taxes. [sigh]

4) Received an email from my project manager, asking if I'm available to meet with her and another guy in Titusville, New Jersey on Friday to finalize the user's guide. Um, no. Not unless you'd like me to come with a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old in tow. [sigh] We're still working on what to do about that. Dammit. Stupid job!

5) Am desperately trying to figure out how Steve and I can go pick out our granite for our countertops on Saturday morning without it interfering with the birthday party Grace is supposed to attend for her daycare buddy. CRAP!

6) Didn't put the laundry away (again), but I did get it folded a bit nicer and seperated into laundry baskets by room. Hey, shut up. It's something.

7) Told Steve I don't want to start exercising because I don't want to add yet another addiction to my life.

8) Decided I really, really, really hate that it gets dark at 5:00 at night. It makes me tired and I feel all bleh. God knows, I didn't need any help in those departments.

9) Also decided that I can just not have sex during daylight hours. I just can't. I'm not embarrassed or grossed out or anything. I just can't stop laughing. [sigh]

10) Made it my mission to have Hannah in bed by 9:00 so I wouldn't miss a single second of "Lost" tonight. It's been three weeks and I was suffering from serious withdrawl.

11) I succeeded.

12) Was told the electrician is coming tomorrow morning. Yeah. Sure he is. I'll believe it when he pulls in my driveway.

13) Watched Steve slather Thousand Island dressing on his piece of chicken before throwing it on the grill and almost threw up. Dear Lord, Dude... What the hell is wrong with you?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 11.08.2005)

1) Woke up to find Hannah screaming for me and realized I had forgotten to take the baby monitor with me when I went to bed. Guilt first thing in the morning sucks.

2) Sent Grace off to daycare and smiled at how excited she was to show everyone her new earrings and her lack of teeth.

3) Discovered my bank account is WAY overdrawn, thanks to a check I had forgotten I'd written two weeks ago. Overdraft fees will be abundant. Fuckers.

4) Emailed back and forth with my former co-worker and we want to get together soon. YAHOO!

5) Went through two huge garbage bags of clothing my MIL gave me and was surprised to find that I'll be keeping (and wearing) all but two Christmas applique snowman sweatshirts. Who the hell knew she shopped at places like Aeropostale and Express? Huh. Go figure.

6) Felt fine this morning, but as the day wore on, started feeling dizzy and my ear hurt. Dandy.

7) Attempted to take a nap when Hannah did, and right when I laid down, the phone rang and it woke her up. [heavy sigh]

8) Bright side is she went to bed at 8:00 tonight.

9) Looked at the tons of dirty dishes I had to wash (WAY more than ever before), and finally just filled the tub with hot water, squirt some dish detergant in, and had at it. (The tub had been bleached out since the last person bathed in it. It's all good.)

10) Forgot to RSVP for Grace's little friends birthday party this Saturday... Again. [sigh]

11) Realized I scheduled the appointment to pick the girls' portraits up for the day before Thanksgiving. Yeah, because that's what I want to do on the worst traffic day of the year. Dammit.

12) Briefly remembered standing in my OB's office last November and scheduling my annual pap smear for this November. Hmmm... It's probably the day before Thanksgiving too. I should probably find that out.

13) Figured out a way to get some cash and deposit it in my stupid overdrawn bank account tomorrow. You know... before gymnastics and daycare cash their checks and stuff. [sigh]

14) Watched Amazing Race and almost reached in the effin' screen and strangled that chick that said, "We're the only team trying to live a good Christian life..." OK asswipe. Do "good Christian" people throw garbage at other teams, make fun of a guy who earns an honest living as a garbage man, and call the other teams mean names? I swear to god, I HATE them. And girls, you are NOT small enough to be wearing those tight little scraps of material I assume you are calling shorts.

15) Decided I have a serious crush on Nick Linz (also from "Amazing Race"). Dude, anytime you're in the area, stop on by, OK?

16) Just checked the website and found out he's only 24. Shit. Some guys like older women, right?

17) Told Steve about my former co-worker wanting to get together soon and asked him if he cared if I met him for lunch one day (because you guys made me feel obligated to ask him if he cared, even though I knew he wouldn't). He said, "What the hell do I care? Have fun." Steve rocks. (And I told you so.)

17) Have noticed this weird connection between watching "Amazing Race" on a Tuesday night and having overwhelming cravings for garlic toast. It's really rather bizarre.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Monday 11.7.2005)

Hey gang. Sorry. No list tonight. I'm freakin' exhausted, I have a ton of work to do, and I'm supposed to call my friend.

So to sum up today, the girls got their Christmas pictures taken and did wonderfully. I can't wait to see them (in two weeks).

Grace got her ears pierced and didn't even flinch (she really is a total freak).

And my sister sent me pictures of my child playing bar games... in a bar. Sweet!

(**My daughter was actually at the Rod and Gun Club in the afternoon, during a Halloween party for children. So no angry hate mail please.)

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Sunday 11.6.2005)

1) Woke up to two pleasant children. Always a good thing.

2) Grace called my mother-in-law at 9:00 this morning, asking to come over. Mother-in-law says, "Sure! I just have to shower and get dressed and I'll come pick you up."

3) I put off doing everything (showering, washing dishes, etc.) until Grace gets picked up.

4) Two hours later, still waiting for mother-in-law, still unshowered, still have a ton to do.

5) Finally mother-in-law picks up Grace who was ready to walk to her house herself if she had to.

6) Showered and took Hannah outside where we had a fantastic time playing on the swingset, blowing bubbles, and yelling "Booyah!" as loud as we could for no apparent reason.

7) Had an excuse to come inside when Hannah dumped an entire bottle of bubbles on her overalls.

8) Checked mail I forgot to get yesterday and discovered my archive CD from Ofoto had arrived.

9) Deleted 3,000 pictures off of my hard drive, freeing up a ton of space on my ancient, piece of shit computer.

10) Started some online Christmas shopping while Hannah was napping. I didn't actually order anything yet, but I picked out a hell of a lot of stuff.

11) Picked up Grace from my mother-in-law's around dinner time only to discover that at some point of the day, my child was posessed by the devil. Seriously, if flames would've come shooting out of her eyes, I don't think it would've phased me.

12) Did the whole, "Go to your room!" routine, making me feel like my mother (and incredibly guilty).

13) Let her come back downstairs about 45 seconds after I sent her up. I'm such a wuss.

14) In looking at the Leaps and Bounds toy catalog we got in the mail over the weekend, Grace has chosen her gift she wants from Santa. She chose a shower. Of allllll the toys and cool stuff in the catalog, she chooses a shower. Something is seriously wrong with that child of mine...

15) Laughed my ass off when I noticed she also circled the Time Out Dog. (I laughed and asked her if she wanted it because she planned on being in time out a lot. Without hesitation, she looks right at me and says (Complete with eye roll), "Nooo. I want it for Hannah Marie!"

16) Just discovered a few more pieces of chocolate in the trick-or-treating loot. Life is good.

17) I didn't miss "Grey's Anatomy" this week. Yahoo!

18) I have to post this and then go work for a few hours. [sigh]

19) I never did wash those dishes... Crap.

20) Received an email from a guy I used to work with a few years ago before he left to work for another company. We were really good friends back in the day. (No, not that kind of friend, ya pervs.) But we lost touch after I got married, he left the company, etc. Turns out he now lives about 30 minutes from me (as opposed to the 90 minutes away he used to), in the same town my girls go to daycare! Looks like I need to be setting up some lunch dates. YAHOO!

Sorry I didn't blog last night...

I suck. We had a McDonald's birthday party to go to, where Hannah begged me to go in the Playland with her, and then screamed like her head was being cut off once she got up a little high. Came home to Steve insulating the kitchen (with a hurt back) and my nephew sleeping over again. Chaos insued and then I fell asleep when I laid down with Grace, only to wake up at like midnight, so I headed to bed. Sorry, chicitas.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Friday 11.4.2005)

1) Had Grace wake up WAY too early.

2) Smiled as Grace walked around all morning, clutching her $3.00 from the tooth fairy like she had just hit the lottery.

3) Had Hannah's diaper leak while sitting on my lap this morning before I had a chance to change the one she had worn all night. Nice.

4) Realized that meant laundry was an absolute must today since her beloved Pooh Bear jammies she had just leaked through would have to be clean for bedtime tonight, or I'd have to face the "wrath of Hannah".

5) Took the girls upstairs with me so I could attempt to shower.

6) Got out of the shower, to discover that Hannah had colored on Grace's bedroom carpet (beige) with a marker (red).

7) Told Hannah she should thank her lucky god that it was washable marker.

8) Half-assed cleaned Grace's room.

9) Came downstairs and went on a weird, inexplicable cleaning rampage. I moved couches, moved entertainment centers, used the hose attachment on the vacuum to go around and suck out the crumbs and dust in every single crack in our hardwood floor, wiped the floor on my hands and knees, etc. Freaky shit.

10) Started to Magic Eraser the floors of Grace's dollhouse and realized it really was probably time to quit (or seek professional help).

11) Briefly contemplated skipping Hannah's nap when it got to be late in the afternoon.

12) Changed my mind when she threw the tantrum of the century over a dropped cracker.

13) Took Grace outside for her holiday card photo shoot while Hannah napped.

14) Told Grace to play nicely while I came in to get changed to take her to gymnastics.

15) Looked at my bedroom window and waved dorkily at her as she sat under the playhut part of her swingset.

16) Thought I saw her sort of looking at me and crying, but then thought, "Nah. She's good."

17) Continued to get dressed and put some makeup on and then glanced out again. "She is crying!... Oh, wait. She just smiled and waved at me. She's fine."

18) Woke Hannah up to get her ready for Grace's gymnastics class.

19) Walked out to tell Grace to come in and get changed, and I discover her sitting in Hannah's infant swing (which is on the ground and not attached to the swingset), with the buckles latched and no way to get out.

20) Realized that she HAD been crying and felt bad for a brief moment, but then started laughing too hard to care.

21) Almost peed myself laughing when the swing fell backwards with her in it and her legs flailing aimlessly.

22) Realized I really am going to hell.

23) Took Grace to gymnastics where Hannah decided that clinging to me was going to be her sole form of entertainment for the evening.

24) Think I invited about 5 people to next year's pig roast, but it's kind of all a big blur.

25) Became obsessed with finding out the one dad's story. He always brings his daughter, made mention tonight of the fact that he takes her to ballet and horseback riding classes too, etc. He's married (wears a wedding ring), but I'm dying to know the mom's story. Does she work odd hours so he has to bring her? Are they divorced (and him remarried) and the little girl's extracurricular activities his form of "visitation"? Is he a SAHD? Does he just want to? WHAT?!?! It's driving me friggin' crazy and I swear to god, I'm just going to ask him next week. I... must... know....

26) His daughter's name is Antanina (no idea how to spell it), but they call her "Nina". Interesting...

27) Decided Long John Silver's was in order for supper after gymnastics. (Because I suck and forgot to defrost meat again.)

28) Had to go through the LJS drive-thru AND the Arby's drive-thru since Grace likes to dip her LJS chicken planks into the Arby's cheddar cheese cups, normally reserved for curly fries.

29) Came home and started eating.

30) Grace looks at me and tells me her tooth is "bent over", and sure enough, the sucker was ready to come out.

31) Grace tries to yank it out, but gets pissed when she can't, saying it's too slippery.

32) Told us she wanted us to tie a string to it and slam the door.

33) Wondered if anyone ever actually extracts a tooth that way.

34) Watched Grace walk over, get a tissue, and use it to yank her own damn tooth out, while barely flinching. Seriously child... what is wrong with you? For the love of god...

35) Realized this could be a whole "Get Rich Quick" scheme she's working on.

36) Decided I'm too tired to add any more tonight... Zzzzz...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Thursday 10.03.2005)

1) Had Steve wake me up early so I could get the girls ready for "Picture Day" at school.

2) Managed to get them dressed with little incident.

3) Immediately showered so I could leave for work. (I hate having to jump right in the shower in the morning. I really need a few cups of coffee first.)

4) Pulled out of the driveway and decided to turn right instead of left, and head to WalMart for an oil change before heading into the office. (Procrastination is my middle name, my friends.)

5) Sat in the little waiting area at WalMart, reading my new book and drinking my coffee. Pure heaven, I tell ya.

** Forgot to mention that while sitting there, after being in public for about 20 minutes, I realized the transparent size tag was still stuck on the back of my leg on my jeans. [sigh] Nonchalantly peeled it off and threw it away.

6) Was kind of pissed when they finished with my car. Just one more chapter...

7) Got whistled at by one of the mechanics as I was walking out. I'm sure it was the big, fat, greasy haired guy who looked about 60, but I'll take it. It's nice to know I'm still "whistle worthy". (Although in my town, I assure you that that's not really saying much...)

8) Spent the commute to work trying to convince myself it was that fairly hot young one with a goatee and earrings that whistled. Yeah... um, that's it....

9) Actually got work done at work. (Imagine that.)

10) Ran out at lunchtime to return a sweater to Gymboree, and while there, grabbed the girls ivory tights for their Christmas portraits on Monday (for which I am still not prepared).

11) Went to my favorite lunch place, where I couldn't help but laugh silently (yet again) to myself since this place truly is the salad's version of the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld.

12) When the nice man ringing me out asked me if I wanted utensils (I was getting it to go), I said (dead seriously), "Nah. I'm going to just eat it with my face."

13) This prompted a hilarious 5-minute verbal exchange that probably no one else thought was funny except the two of us.

14) Ended the delightful conversation with him asking me if I wanted napkins, and I said, "Yes. Especially since I'm eating it with my face."

15) In light of the aforementioned conversation, decided I really need to get out more.

16) Partied like a frat boy in my car when I heard "Joy and Pain" on the way home.... "Joy! (Pump it up! Pump it up!)... And pain... Like sunshine.... And rain...."

17) Remembered that I hate frat boys and toned it down a bit.

18) Flipped three people off while driving. I hate that commute!

19) Was annoyed that by the time I got home, it was already dark. Dark = tired in Allison's World.

20) Went to pick the girls up at my mom's house, where I was greeted by my four year old, who has lost her first tooth. [sigh]

21) Was too swept up in her excitement to feel sad, so I celebrated with her.

22) Glowed when we got home and Steve was more excited and sentimental about it than even I was. I sometimes forget that she's his little girl too. [big sentimental sigh]

23) Was thrilled when the long-winded loser was fired on "The Apprentice."

24) Was pissed when one of my favorites was voted off of "Survivor." Stupid jackasses...

25) Realized, while I'm sitting here typing this, that if I don't go do the whole tooth fairy gig like right now, I'm totally going to forget to do it, and well, that would kind of suck.

26) Am wrestling with how much money the tooth fairy should leave. I mean, she is only 4. And whatever I give her tonight, she's going to expect every time, so that whole "More for the First Tooth" idea is out of the question. Hmmmm....