Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Holy crap!

I didn't realize it had been so long since I blogged. I really do suck, don't I? LOL!

Hmmm... what's happened since last week...

* We finally watched "Deliverance" (that my brother bought for Steve for Christmas... long story). I really didn't remember much of it and Steve never saw it. It was actually better than I remember and Steve really liked it too.

* Had to take Hannah to the medical center on Saturday because she kept running high fevers and complaining of a headache. Both ears were beginning to get infected and so was her throat, so she's on antibiotics.

* Steve started getting achy and having a sore throat two days later. So riddle me this... how come when a MAN gets sick, he can lie around for 3 days on the couch while his wife does everything, rents him movies, etc., but when a WOMAN gets sick, she is still required to function and do her normal daily things? Huh? Huh?

* I'm about done with the people in my family. For various reasons, we've ALL been here in the house for way, way, WAY too many days in a row, and that really must come to an end before I hurt myself (or someone else).

* We rented and watched "Saw 3" the other night. It kicked ASS baby!

* I still haven't joined the gym (trying to decide which one to join), but I did buy a pair of sneakers for the first time in 5 years (literally). Granted I haven't even taken them out of the box yet, but baby steps, people... baby steps.

* I've decided that Hannah is the most dramatic child I've ever met in my life and if she continues to act that way as she grows up, I may just disown her and pretend I have no idea who she is.

* Um, other than that, not much has happened. See? This is why I don't blog everyday... my life is pretty damn boring. LOL!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Grace Lost Another Tooth...

Well, okay... technically she yanked the dang thing out yesterday at school in the cafeteria after lunch. LOL!

She looks so freakin' cute! She lost the other top front one a few weeks ago and that one is already halfway in (on the left side in the picture). I can't believe how old she's getting. [sigh]

I'll blog some more later. Hannah's home today because we're supposed to get snow squalls on and off today and it wasn't worth throwing her in a car to go to daycare, and Steve's home working on our upstairs bathroom. He half-gutted the damn room the other day even though we're doing a complete remodel on it next year. [sigh] That man gives me a headache. LOL!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Rock on with your bad self, Hannah...

Rock ON!

(And that's all I have to say for today. I'll have a "real" post tomorrow. :)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Have at it...

I've narrowed down the suggestions for the bear's name. (I also had submissions on some other online message boards and such.) Have at it...

And Tink, I asked the taxidermist the exact same question about cleaning it. He said that the base (leaves, sticks, etc.) shouldn't be an issue. I can vacuum the bear and/or rub it with a damp cloth (with or without a little bit of mild soap or shampoo). LMAO! Oh, and Q-tips will shine his glass eyeballs right up. ;)

Emma: Yes, that's a framed collage of pictures of the day Steve shot the bear. Kappy made it for me last year and I had it printed and framed for Steve for Christmas. LOL! It's going to be hung on the wall behind the bear now. (It was on another wall before the actual bear arrived.) We just haven't had a chance to hang it up yet. :)

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Lions and Tigers and BEARS! Oh my!

OK. So there aren't really lions and tigers. But there's definitely a bear. And she's in my living room, currently about 5 feet from where I type this. Steve's mount arrived today. I admit that for the past year, I wasn't too keen on a completely lifesize bear in my living room. But I went with Steve to the taxidermist today to pick it up and immediately fell in love. For real. I LOVE the damn thing. [sigh]

The taxidermist is a young guy, about our age, whose wife helps him. The man is truly gifted and he's one of those people that you can tell after talking to him for 5 minutes, that he truly, truly loves his work, is inspired by it, and basically lives for it. The mount is stunning.

Now had I walked into his shop and seen the bear standing on its hind legs, claws out and fangs showing, I wouldn't have liked it very much. But instead, I saw a nature scene... a bear with her hind legs on the ground and her front paws on a rock, looking up with curiosity at a beehive hanging from a branch of a tree. It's almost peaceful really.

So she's now in our living room and the ol' girl needs a name. That's right. I said a name. I've become attached to her since this afternoon, and I feel bad calling her "the bear." I was jokingly calling her Smokey for a bit, since that's the only famous bear I could think of, but then I remembered that ours is a girl. So she needs a nice girl name. Something that isn't gay. Honest to god, I like her better than my real pets right now, so I want to give her name I truly like. LOL!

So here's the deal. I'm going to post some pictures now and you're all going to suggest some names for her. Then I'm going to write 'em all down (possibly narrow them down depending on how many suggestions there are) and post a poll tomorrow. Then everyone will vote and that's what her name will be. :) Deal?

So here are the pictures. I actually realized after downloading these off my camera that I didn't get a good angle. I'll take some more tomorrow, but these should be inspiration enough to start thinking of some names. Don't forget... it's a girl! :)

Editing to add: Sorry the pics are so big. I'll fix 'em tomorrow. I'm too tired to do it right now.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Recap of My Day

So I wake Hannah up for daycare. The child (like her mother) does NOT like to be woken up in the mornings. Unfortunately, I can't dump coffee down her throat (like her mother does to wake up), so three days a week, the first 45 minutes of my morning are a battle. So anyway, my mom gets here to pick her up (my mom works at the daycare, so she comes and gets her) and now it's time to get Grace ready for school.

So all is going well until we start battling about her coat and hat. She would prefer to wear neither. It's 40 effing degrees here. She's wearing the damn things. So I finally get her all zipped up and we're ready to head outside to wait for the bus. It's 7:40 and the bus normally arrives around 7:45. So we're still in the house and I hear a loud idling noise. I look up and the flippin' bus is HERE already (and kindly waiting at the end of our driveway to see if anyone's coming out). SHIT! I swear, it was like a scene from Forrest Gump. I whip open the door, push Grace outside and yell, "Run, Gracie! RUN!" [sigh] So she gets on the bus and off she goes.

Now the fun begins. I do the usual morning things... chug more coffee, check my email, message boards, and blogs, etc. Steve's puttering around (he didn't work today), and I'm mentally willing him to just get the hell out of the house so I can be slow and lazy and not get dirty looks for it.

He finally heads outside to play on the damn skidloader, building a damn "road" down a very steep embankment in our backyard to some damn old springhouse on the side of the damn hill. Now WHAT this road is for, is beyond me. And let's not discuss that he was in danger of toppling down the hill at any moment OR that we have a sunroom that still needs to be gutted a redone, a bungalow in our backyard that IS gutted and is awaiting more work so Steve can start working out again over there, and no heat in one room of our upstairs because it still needs to be hooked up. Whatever dude. You're out of the house, so I'm happy.

So I decided that today was the day. The day that I finally put our 9-year-old Gateway PC out to pasture. Since acquiring this laptop back in May, the ONLY thing I used the old PC for was for Steve's business stuff and to print things. The thing was so damn slow that I could literally double-click on a shortcut icon, walk away and empty the dishwasher, and then come back just in time to have the program actually open.

The problem was that before unplugging the thing for good, I had to transfer all of Steve's business stuff to my laptop. This means I needed to find the installation discs for QuickBooks, which is the program we use for Steve's stuff. Shit. I hadn't seen the damn things since we bought them back in 1998.

So I head up into our attic (what I call "Critter Country") to start digging through boxes and bags. So there I was, in the cold, dark attic, digging through dusty boxes with a damn flashlight (the light doesn't work up there), looking for the disks, all the while praying nothing would run across my feet or jump out of a box at me. The disks weren't there. I did spot my very first diary from when I was probably 8 or 9, and some other odd things I didn't even know we owned, but no QuickBooks disks.

After being up there a damn HOUR, in a last ditch effort, I decided to check the cabinets in our upstairs kitchen. (Background: When we bought the house, it was divided into two seperate living spaces... one upstairs and one downstairs. We rented the upstairs to my brother for a year or two, and when he moved out, we converted it back into one house. The "kitchen" upstairs actually became more of a storage and laundry room for us.) So anyway, after all of the damn searching in the attic while fearing for my life (hey... mice can have rabies ya know...), I find the QuickBooks discs, in their original box, nestled safely in the corner of one of the kitchen cabinets. Shit.

So I finally start installing it on my laptop and all goes well from what I can tell. But I won't know for sure until I actually try to open Steve's company file. Of course, that particular file still needs to be transferred from the old PC. Did I mention that the PC was bought before computers came with CD burning capabilities? And the the floppy drive on it fried years ago? [sigh]

So I have to email the file to myself and then download it onto the laptop. Okee dokee. So I fire the beast up, switch all the damn wires that are necessary to have it connected to the Internet, and email the files to myself. Done.

But when I switch the wires back and go back to the laptop, I've suddenly lost my Internet connection. SHIT! So after trying everything, I call tech support. The woman there was wonderful and it took us (literally) a damn hour, but we finally got everything running smoothly again. (We still don't know what was wrong, but I don't really care frankly, now that it's fixed.) So anyway, I get everything working, kiss the ol' Gateway goodbye, and get the damn thing off of my computer desk, out of my living room, and onto the floor of the kitchen, ready to be given to my BIL and SIL. They don't own a computer, never have, and probably don't even know how to turn one on, so they'll have NO idea that it's actually a real piece of shit and slow as all hell. LOL!

I hook up the new printer/scanner/fax machine/copier that I bought yesterday, and I am golden baby! WOOHOO! It only took ALL DAY LONG. Dear lord...


In other news, I've decided to join the gym down the street. [sigh] I know. I know. Some of you are probably angered and annoyed by this. I know that when one of my lazy, unhealthy friends that smokes and drinks like I do suddenly decides to "change her life" and get all healthy, it pisses me off. I think, "Bitch! We're supposed to be a team, dammit." But let me explain...

I've been wanting to get in better shape and get a little healthier (note on "a little"). Not for any health benefits or anything so noble. Nope. It's because I've always wanted a belly button ring. And right now, sporting some bling on my leftover baby roll would be well... not that attractive.

Now that in and of itself probably wouldn't have been enough to actually make me do anything about it, but it has crossed my mind a few times recently. No... the real reason is totally more "Allison."

Last night, Steve was at his mom's for a bit and came home and told me how, "My mom said Jen hits the gym a few times a week now and then works out at home. She said she's starting to look really good." Jen is my SIL. The one I used to despise with every ounce of my being... The one I now like (for the most part), but that always wears khaki bottoms and solid colored tops... The one that has the same sweater as me, but in a different color (thanks to the mother-in-law and Christmas)... The one that totally paints her eyebrows on, and in a way that makes her look like she uses a melted crayon and stencils taped on her forehead (I don't think I ever talked about that here. Remind me to take inconspicuous photos at the next family gathering.)... The one, that since the time we met, was always fiercely competitive with me and was constantly trying to "one up" me with everything in our lives... cars, marriage (they weren't going to get married until Steve proposed... then they were engaged 1 month later), children (they weren't going to have kids, but then suddenly changed their minds and got pregnant 4 months into my pregnancy with Grace), and all sorts of other stuff.

Now the competitiveness seems to have died down (if not died completely), but I can't help but to keep it in the back of my mind. She has ALWAYS been either slightly bigger than me or possibly close to my exact size. But she's never, ever, ever been smaller. And this, my friends, is where my sudden desire to join the gym comes in. I cannot let her look better than me. I can't. I know it's petty. I know it's catty. I know it's downright ridiculous. But it can't happen. Other women out there will understand, I'm sure. You could tell me any other woman on the face of the planet was smaller than me/in better shape/looked better/was hitting the gym/etc. and I wouldn't give a rat's ass. But not her. It can't be her. Must... start... working... out...

So there you have it. I've admitted it. So starting next week (or maybe the week after... LOL!), I'm going to drive down the street, pay my $25 for a monthly membership, and I, Allison L., am going to start pumping iron and running my fat little ass off on those treadmills that always remind me of hamster wheels. Shit. I think I hate her again. Look at what she's making me DO, dammit! [sigh]


So I guess I've rambled on long enough tonight. Maybe if I have to go to Jen's house this weekend to hook up their new hunk of shit computer, I can casually suggest documenting the occasion with photos, and I'll snap one of her comma-shaped eyebrows. Do you think she'll catch on?....


Editing to add that I forgot to tell you that my two children devoured some bear chops tonight. As in chops that literally came from a bear. Now this, in and of itself, wouldn't bother me too much. I mean, we eat cows... we eat chickens... why not bears. But dudes, it came from the bear that in a few short days (or so we've been told) will be SITTING IN MY LIVING ROOM!!!! There is just something seriously disturbing about that... "Hey Little Smokey, it's nice to have you as a member of our family. Last week, my husband and children ate your fleshy innards." Nice. Real fucking nice. I took one bite, had the above thought, and ate mac and cheese.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

A few pics...

...Because it's very, very late and I'm very, very tired, and I just can't be witty right now. ;)

So I left the living room for 3 seconds today and walked back in to find this...

Such concentration on her face, no? I'm checking the history, and if she was checking out porn, she's in a lot of trouble...

Here are two more of Hannah. Obviously, she dressed herself today. LOL!

Don't let that cute face fool you. She may be cute, but she's still the spawn of the devil...

I'd post some of Grace, but I suck and didn't get any decent ones of her the past few days. So um, goodnight. LOL!


Oh, but before I go, I'd like to add that during my weight loss these past few weeks, apparently ALL 10 lbs. came out of my boobs. I thought they were smaller, but it was confirmed when I made a half-joke to Steve last night and said, "I think when I lost weight, my boobs got smaller."

His response?... He said, "Yeah. I know," in a totally serious voice and then went back to watching Animal Planet. Sweet dude. I'm glad to hear you're still looking at my tits. ;)

Friday, January 12, 2007

So here's a question for ya...

How old (or young) do I look in these pictures? (FYI, my hair's in a ponytail in the back. I did not shove all of it up under the hat. LOL!)

Because the woman at the grocery store apparently thinks I haven't graduated from high school yet. LOL! She carded me when I tried to buy cigarettes yesterday. I laughed when she asked me for ID. Certainly I showed it to her, and I don't think any 33-year-old is going to complain about getting carded (and neither am I). But I found it highly amusing.

And in typical Allison fashion, instead of just showing her my ID, getting my cigarettes, and getting out of there, I felt the need to explain that I was wearing the hat because I hadn't yet showered that day. WHY would you tell someone that? [shaking head] LOL! She was laughing and said she didn't see any wrinkles so she thought she'd card me to be safe. I said something along the lines of, "Oh, there are wrinkles there." She said (while laughing), "Well apparently not when you don't shower." Snort! Dear god. I swear to god, if I had a brain-to-mouth filter, the world would be a much better place for everyone (although maybe not as funny). LOL!


So this morning I christened my new smoothie maker. I'm trying to eat healthier, and well, I eat absolutely, positively NO fruits or vegetables. I just can't bring myself to do it. Ick. However, I LOVE fruit smoothies. So when I was at Big Lots the other day and saw a smoothie maker for $20, I couldn't pass it up. So this morning I made a big pitcher of strawberry banana smoothies and oh... my... god... They're fucking DELICIOUS!!! Mmmmm... See? I can eat healthy too if I try. :)

(We won't mention that I had a big bowl of disgusting, sodium-filled Ramen for lunch, OK?)


I'm kind of at a standstill with my organization of the house. The next rooms to do are the bedrooms and the playroom and I just can't bring myself to start on them. The four rooms are going to take me weeks my friends. And frankly, as I go through things, I honest to god, have no where to put or take the things I don't want anymore. So I've decided to wait until next week to tackle those projects. That means today's my goof off day. Both girls are at school, so I've been playing around all day. I guess I should at least dust or something and I NEED to put away the 8 flippin' loads of clean laundry that are sitting upstairs, but that's all I'm doing dammit. And I don't care what you say. You can't make me be productive. :P


OK gang... off to screw around some more. Have a rockin' weekend!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

MP3 Player Meme

I flippin' LOVE this meme! :) I'm going to add some commentaries after mine because, well, some of them warrent it. LOL!

Open your library.
Put it on shuffle.
Press play.
Type the song that is playing for every question.
Press the button again when you get to a new question.
Do not lie and try to pretend that you are cool.

Opening Credits: "Sugar, We're Going Down" by Fallout Boy
Waking Up: "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter (That doesn't sound very promising, does it? LOL!)
First Day of School: "High School Never Ends" by Bowling for Soup (I swear to god I didn't cheat. LOL! Have you ever listened to the words of this song? Dear god, it is soooo freakin' true.)
Falling in Love: "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall (Well, if I'm gonna fall in love, it may as well be with a horse, right?)
Fight Songs: "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira
Breaking Up: "What's Left of Me" by Nick Lachey
Prom: "I Can't Hate You Anymore" by Nick Lachey (For the record, I don't hate any of my old prom dates. LOL!)
Life: "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol
Mental Breakdown: "Waiting on the World To Change" by John Mayer
Driving: "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon
Flashback: "What Hurts the Most" by Rascall Flatts
Wedding: "Save Me" by Nickelback (LMAO! Dear god, if I had only known then what I know now.)
Birth of a Child: "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls
Final Battle: "How to Save a Life" by The Fray (Well, it's nice to know that during my final battle, I'm still worried about saving someone's life.)
Death Scene: "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder (Well, I guess if I'm dying, it's nice to know I'll be seeing angels.)
Funeral Song: "Dance, Dance" by Fallout Boy (Woohoo! Party at Allison's funeral! Rock on!)
End Credits: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! at the Disco (See? Sins are fun. I keep telling everyone that...)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

A few random thoughts...

* I'm kicking ass with my new year's resolutions to get organized around here. My entire kitchen is now organized, as is my computer desk and the entire bathroom and all it's once-trashed shelves. I'm not sure yet what tomorrow's project is, but I'm on a roll now and I'm afraid to break it.

* I'm down 10 lbs. in the last month. Now albeit, it had NOTHING to do with me working at it and EVERYTHING to do with the damn illnesses that were running rampant in the home, but still. When you have a sinus infection that doesn't allow you to breathe let alone taste anything, and your body has 85 lbs. of extra mucus in it, the last thing you feel like doing is eating. Throw in a stomach bug and it's an instant diet. WOOHOO!

* Is anyone else disturbed that after just 3 short weeks of "extensive training," LaToya Jackson has become an official police officer? God bless the citizens of that town, lemme tell ya.

* The little midget dude from Jackass is actually a fairly normal guy and seems rather calm and nice when he's not doing stupid stunts on that stupid, mindless show that I hate (Jackass, that is).

* I finally admitted to people tonight that I hate the show "Myth Busters." Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass about 95% of the "myths" they're busting.

* We got our first snow of the year today. It flurried for a whopping total of about 8 minutes before the sun came out and melted it in just 6. I'm not complaining. Is it spring yet?

* I was contemplating my 2006 today and the one phrase that I would use to describe it is, "Drama Overload." I'm so done with drama. I vow, here and now, to avoid all drama in my life this year. You wanna cheat on your spouse? Knock yourself out. You wanna talk bad about me behind my back and say nasty things? Rock on with your bad self. You wanna rob a bank? Go right ahead... just don't mention my name when you're arrested. Life is short and for the most part, mine is good, so I'm going to live this year in my own little happy world. :)

* I have discovered new chocolate-covered Cinnamon Altoids. Oh... my... fucking... god... I was addicted to regular Altoids before this (like literally addicted... I eat between 1 and 1.5 tins a day). And now these new ones have made it even worse. It's like giving a drug addict one pill that will allow him to get stoned, trip on acid, and sail along on a crack high all at once.

* I pondered today whether school bus drivers become school bus drivers because they really love kids or because they really love to drive busses. Hmmm...

OK. That's enough for today. I'm outta here, gang. Have a good night, my friends....

Monday, January 08, 2007

She's alive.....

Yeah. That's me. I'm alive. Dear god, what a start to 2007. It all began on New Year's Eve, 30 minutes before I was going to shuttle the girls to my mom's for the night. Steve and I didn't have any plans, but it's nice to get kid-free evenings. So it's 5:30 and Hannah hurls all over herself and the recliner. I crossed my fingers and hoped that the antibiotic she had taken that day had upset her stomach. But no. Ten minutes later, more vomit all over the floor. Fuck.

So Steve threw Grace in the car and took her to my mom's in our feeble attempt to avoid her getting it. Then he went to my sister and BIL's house for hours to avoid the New Year's Eve Vomit Fest (he hates throwing up... LOL!).

So I rang in the New Year cleaning up my three-year-old's puke.

Anyway, fast forward two days. Hannah's on the road to recovery and at 10:00 that night, Steve starts yakking his guts out. Grace joined him at midnight. And then, after being up all night with other vomiting people, I joined in on the fun around 8:00 that morning. [sigh] The four of us slept in the living room on and off all day and everyone had to fend for themselves. You want a drink? Go get it. You want food? Yeah, go get some crackers out of the pantry and leave me alone. LOL! Ugh.

So anyway, we're all okee-dokee now. Hopefully, we're done with that kind of stuff at least for the next few months. It was hell and not the way I wanted to start 2007. LOL!

Other than that, I've been busy packing up the Christmas stuff and working on my New Year's resolution of organizing this damn house. It's slow going, but I'm making a little progress here and there. One drawer at a time, baby... one drawer at a time...

So anyway, that's where I've been. Hopefully, things are calmed down now and I can blog everyday again. I missed y'all. :)


This weekend was unseasonably warm. I'm talking like 20 degress above average. Normally, we have at least a foot of snow on the ground at this time of year, but on Saturday, the girls and I were outside having a picnic and wearing just hoodies. Sah-WEET! So with that, I leave you with some pictures of my gorgeous girls. Looking at these, it's hard to believe they can drive me so fucking insane sometimes. LOL!

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