Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Pimps, Chickens, Eggs, Socks & Taylor...

So the girls are getting ready to get into the tub and Grace is standing there in a T-shirt and underwear. She spies one of Hannah's belts on the floor nearby and walks over to it. She picks it up and shoves one end of it into the front of her underwear, letting the rest dangle down in front of her legs. She then walks over to where Hannah and I are sitting, thrusts out her pelvis, and says in a total pimp voice, "Hello, ladies."

Say wha'? I kind of half chuckle and ask her what she's doing (because I didn't want to assume) and she says, "I'm being a boy," and then again thrusts out her pelvis in our faces, deepens her voice, and says, "Hello, ladies."

Oh... my... God. I couldn't stop laughing. Tears were running down my face. I was gasping for air. Must... breathe...

So anyway, I managed to get myself under control and I've come to a conclusion. My child will either grow up to be a hysterically funny, unbelievably successful woman who won't take anyone's shit....

Or...

She'll be sentenced to life in a maximum security prison. Only time will tell I suppose...

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I am totally grossed out by that Lysol wipes commercial when the woman is rubbing down her appliances and counter tops with a raw chicken breast. I truly want to vomit every time I see it. I hate raw meet. It skeeves me out. I'm now boycotting Lysol wipes just because their commercial makes me want to hurl.

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I made perfect hard-boiled eggs today. I'm talking the kind where the entire peel comes off in one piece and the yolks are a pure golden yellow (as opposed to that funky greenish-brown color they sometimes get). Emeril would be proud...

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Spent an hour with the girls matching our plethora of unmatched clean socks, folding each pair together into a ball and then told the girls it was time for a snowball fight. We spent literally an hour playing with thirty pairs of balled up socks. We had snowball fights, played "basketball" with them, and shoved them in our shirts to make fake boobs. Good times, lemme tell ya.

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Taylor Hicks can't not make me smile. Seriously. I adore him. He truly is a beautiful human being. And now, I am off to vote...

11 comments:

Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

Clorox wipes work better anyway, and they're cheaper. That commercial skeeves me out too.

Slacker Mom said...

I haven't seen that commercial...
and I don't WANT to!!! Ick!!!

Love the snowball fight!!

A-bomb did the 'penis' thing once, she was naked and she stuck toilet paper there and walked around.

I walked away and laughed so hard I practically died laughing...

Chelle Y. said...

I just told my family last night that "how can you just not smile when Taylor sings?" The guy is great and deserves to be in at least the final two. I would love to see a show-down between Chris and Taylor.

Janet said...

I think that Grace will grow up to be hysterically funny and successful.

Snowball fight sounds great! We did that once with marshmallows.

Taylor is incredible. What a nice nice person.

Tink said...

Best post ever! God your girls are funny. That Clorox commercial makes me gag. But it does make you remember it. Now BUYING them is another story.

Amber said...

Oh my gosh! I am CRYING from laughter at Grace! Ha!

Thanks, I really needed to end my day like that. (Spent day making plans for when MIL starts her cancer treatment next week.:( ...)

I really think my son, Wyatt, should marry one of your girls. They would breed one beautiful, funny child.

Alien said...

Amber: Assuming Grace isn't a lesbian (and it's entirely possible she is... LOL!), I'd be glad to marry her off to Wyatt. LOL!

((((Your MIL))))

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