Thursday, January 12, 2006

Thursday, January 12, 2006

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them." ~ William Clayton

(That quote was chosen specially, in honor of a friend who was confronted with her own dumbness today on more than one occasion.)

~ Sent the girls off to daycare again and sat down with my hot coffee. Seriously... does life get any better than that?

~ Looked at my To Do list for the day and decided there was no way in hell I was going to do half of it. Some days you just know better than to try to productive.

~ Did absolutely nothing but play online until about 11:00.

~ Talked to a friend on the phone and was thrilled to find out she's just as sweet in real life (on the phone at least) as she is on the internet.

~ Got busted smoking a cigarette in my flannel pajamas at noon by my neighbor. Nope. I'm not lazy at all, Faye. I swear.

~ Decided it was my "hint" to get my ass in the shower and like, get dressed or something.

~ Showered, and threw some non-PJs clothing on my body.

~ Ate a disgusting concoction of chow mien noodles and shredded cheese in a bowl with Italian dressing dumped on them.

~ Ate another bowl after I finished the first.

~ Made fun of someone behind their back.

~ Wondered how it is that I can hate catty girls and yet, I've become one.

~ Ate about 5 brownies throughout the day. Oink.

~ Was a little bummed when Steve got home from work around 2:30. Not that I don't love the guy. And not that I don't want to spend time with him. But when he's here, I can't sit in front of computer all day without feeling lazy and without getting "the look", or worse yet, a comment from him.

~ Decided to make the best of it and had fantastic afternoon sex.

~ Realized afterwards that I hadn't laughed even once during "the act." This is a big step for me. I have some serious issues with daytime sex and apparently, I can overcome them if I try hard enough. LOL!

~ I went and got the propane tank for our grill filled.

~ Started marinating the big ass steak we had our sights on for dinner.

~ Went to pick the girls up at my mom's, leaving Steve here, working on the joists around the window in the kitchen.

~ Came home ready to chug a beer (it's amazing what my two children can do to your nerves on the short 4 - 5 mile drive between my mom's house and ours), and found Steve completely pissed off because he had made a stupid, careless mistake while cutting the wood and had wasted hours of work and about $50, and set himself back a day.

~ Laughed (I couldn't help it), when during his tirade at himself, he said, "You know what they say... measure once and cut twice." Um hon? See, that could very well be what your problem was tonight. You kinda got that wrong. I literally almost pissed myself laughing.

~ We all sat down for dinner (in separate rooms, using separate snack trays... sigh) and enjoyed the big ass marinated steak. Mmmm...

~ Played more Scooby Doo video games with Grace, and again, found myself getting annoyed whenever she didn't make it over the hole in the roller coaster track. (She's FOUR, Allison! Get a freakin' grip, will ya? Geez. I... must... seek... therapy...)

~ Put the girls to bed and watched an interesting story on Primetime about a husband who was trying to kill his wife slowly with rat poison. Seriously dude, can't you get any more creative than that? That's pathetic.

~ Ate more Pringles with cream cheese. Mmmmm....

20 comments:

Emily said...

Hey was that Primetime the story I saw advertised saying, "He wanted her dead so much he even poisoned her when making love"?

I saw something like that on a commcerial and wondered how the hell you poison someone during sex...dip the willy in rat poison?

Janet said...

Nice Emily! I just choked on my Peanut M&M! LMAO!

Daytime sex has gotten much better since after children. If we have the house to ourselves, we better go for it!

ROFL about Steve and measuring once and cutting twice!

Alien said...

Actually Emily, that IS how he poisoned her. Other than in her food, he put rat poison on the condoms he used. Nice, huh?

Janet said...

OMG!!!! That is horrible! He must have really, really been psycho. Poor lady!

mama_tulip said...

What?! He put rat poison on the condoms they used? Wouldn't that like, burn?

Alien said...

I know. And they have 2 sons. How the hell do you grow up knowing your dad tried to kill your mom?

Janet said...

To have sex with your wife while knowing you are inserting poison into her. I may not sleep tonight. That is sooooooooo wrong! I hope he fried!

Alien said...

I think they said he got 25 years maybe? I don't remember. And they said that they don't know what the long term effects of the poison will be (he was doing it for a pretty long time). Some experts have said it could remain in her system forever. :(

Alien said...

Oh yeah. And he was having an affair with TWO other women, which is why he was trying to kill her.

Alien said...

LOL Katherine. I'm not sure. I've never shoved rat poison up my crotch. She said she got REALLY sick one time afterwards and she wanted to go to the hospital, but he told her just to rest for the night and that she'd be fine in the morning.

mama_tulip said...

How the hell do you grow up knowing your dad tried to kill your mom by having sex with her? That's cause for a whole lifetime of therapy.

Janet said...

Unbelievable! I would think she would be at a really high risk for ovarian/cervical cancer at this point:-( Stuff like that just doesn't seem real to me. How can someone do that? What a psychopath.

Alien said...

LOL Emily! Maybe she just thought she had just had REALLY good sex.

Emily said...

HOLY CRAP! I was kidding!

Can you imagine death by vagina poisoning?!?

"Oooo...baby....that feels so good....but I am suddenly weak, dizzy and a little nausiated....and why is my vison going fuzzy?"

mama_tulip said...

Well, phew. And here I was worried that you had...

Melissa said...

Thanks for the quote, I'm going to copy that one down. LOL

LMAO @ "I've never shoved rat poison up my crotch." Can't...breathe....

Alien said...

Oh, and Janet, LOL about the daytime sex. The thing is, we DO have it on the days when Steve happens to get home early on daycare days. But I normally can't do it without laughing. Seeing our facial expressions... watching what we're doing... I just lose it. [sigh]

EE said...

Whoa, stop the train. Why are you doing it w/ your EYES open?!?!? Try closing them and I bet it will be a lot less funny. ;) LMAO

That dude in the Primetime story is SICK.

I love Steve's "measure once, cut twice", that definately might be an issue. LOL

Tink said...

Whoa... I'm going to have some seriously disturbed dreams after this conversation. I'm also going to make sure IM the one to open the damn condoms.

"Realized afterwards that I hadn't laughed even once during "the act." This is a big step for me. I have some serious issues with daytime sex and apparently, I can overcome them if I try hard enough. LOL!" Kindred spirit. WHAT is it that makes it so funny? Something about the daylight seeping through or the hurried motions that are so much more sensual at night? It bugs Hoop to no end.

Alien said...

LOL Tink about the sex. I don't know. I just can't help it. Steve gets all pissed off b/c I just keep laughing and he just KNOWS it's not going to be "good sex". LOL! Oh well. [sigh]