Planet Alien

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Give a woman a job and she grows balls." ~Jack Gelber
(This quote is officially dedicated to Beth, who just today said she didn't have balls. Tink then reminded her that she has tits. So it's all good.)

~ Woke up and decided that Steve and I needed to have a serious discussion over the weekend. Because ever since Mr. Studboy bought himself a new Stanley thermos last week, he has left for work in the morning after filling his new thermos, leaving me with a piddly 3 cups of coffee. It ain't gonna fly dude, and we need to make some changes. (And shut up, because no, I will not make some more after he's gone and hard at work.)

~ Was a bit taken aback when the girls started asking to take a bath at 8:00 this morning. Uhhhh... sure. Why not? They did kind of stink...

~ It worked out because I managed to get the entire upstairs vacuumed and dusted while they played in the tub. (Dear judgers and tongue-cluckers: Our bathroom set up upstairs is very unusual and the tub is basically in our hallway with no doors and an entry/exit at each end. I assure you, both children were visible to me at all times and no children were left "unattended" while bathing.)

~ Shook my head in confusion when I realized I have one child (a 4-year-old) who totally freaks if a door is closed while she's in a room and breaks down in tears if you even mention closing the bathroom door while she's in there "doing her thing". And another child (2-years-old) who insists on having the bathroom door closed while she's in there and insists on going alone. Whatever, ya little freaks.

~ Wondered how it is that a little 1" x 1" photo in the corner of my blog could generate 62 comments. We all need lives. LOL!

~ Was surprised as shit to find out that quite a few people (and apparently the majority) don't have electric can openers. Even I have one, people.

~ Left my heart in San Francisco. (I have no idea why I typed that, but it made me laugh.)

~ Wrote to the Olympic Games committee suggesting Bitch Slapping be recognized as a summer event. I'd so fucking win the gold.

~ Vacuumed our steps. (Sorry. Had to throw something productive in there.)

~ Decided I may have that dreaded flesh eating bacteria because there's something all sorts of funky going on in my leg.

~ Obsessively cut Grace's grapes in half before allowing her to eat them, even though these particular ones were literally no larger than a blueberry.

~ Couldn't help but laugh when Hannah got her head stuck between the back of our couch and the window sill in our living room. Smooth move, Sunshine.

~ Composed a mean email to someone in my head, but never actually wrote or sent it. I'm such a wuss.

~ Had a minor panic attach when I saw the cable guy pulling into our driveway, thinking I had forgotten to pay the bill and then were coming to shut off our cable.

~ Was relieved when I realized he was just turning around.

~ Checked my bill online just in case. (I'm good.)

~ Almost threw up when while talking to Emily on the phone, I watched Grace EAT (and I truly mean "eat") spoonfuls of butter.

~ Was relieved when I heard Emily's children acting much like mine in the background. See? It's not just my kids.

~ Was happy when Hannah only went potty twice at gymnastics this week, and she actually went.

~ Was smart enough to grab FOUR ham & cheese and only ONE roast beef sandwich at Arby's when ordering my 5 for $5.

~ Got home and got a call from a friend who had a horrendous "incident" with a blocked toilet that had been running all day while everyone was gone and had gotten home this evening to discover water dripping through her kitchen ceiling and down into her basement. She said her husband was ripping the kitchen ceiling out as we spoke.

~ I casually suggested she just gut the whole kitchen while they were at it and said I'd send her some tips on "kitchenless cooking." ;)

~ Had all children (and husband) sleeping by 8:30. Either I kick ass, or I'm so boring, I render those around me unconscious.