1. Was thrilled when Grace woke up at 7:00 AM, and instead of waking me up, headed downstairs where Daddy was already awake.
2. Was annoyed as all hell when Steve came upstairs 5 minutes later to shower. Dude, you NEVER shower this early on a weekend. And yet, you do today when I have the rare chance to sleep in another 30 minutes or so, but now I have to get up too and go downstairs with Grace. Fucker...
3. Started cleaning up about 20 minutes after waking up because the house was (once again) trashed.
4. Mentally calculated the hours until the girls both go back to daycare this week. My sweet, sweet childfree two days...
5. Got into an argument with Grace at 10:00 AM about a pair of pants. Seriously, my napless-for-two-weeks child, you really need to chill out. When do you go back to daycare again?
6. Managed to get a shower while yelling at the girls to STOP freakin' jumping on the bed while I was in there. Seriously, do they honestly think I can't hear the springs squeaking?
7. Was annoyed when Steve asked me (admittedly nicely) to go to WalMart for him to pick up some stuff he needed. I soooo didn't feel like going.
8. Went anyway since my other option was staying home with our overtired, cabin-fevered, sick-of-each-other, fighting each other to the death children.
9. Came home to hear Steve tell me (exhaustedly) how the girls kept him busy the entire (whopping) hour I was gone, how they kept fighting, how he barely got to see any of the football game because he was in the playroom being "referee" the whole time, etc. Welcome to my world, dude. So next time you ask me why I didn't get the house cleaned while you were at work all day, don't be surprised if I rip your nuts off.
10. Went to my parents' house for dinner, where I pigged out on pork, saurkraut, and mashed potatoes (standard New Year's Day dinner for good luck).
11. Wanted to put both girls up for adoption when they ran around my parents' house acting like crack kids on a supersonic high.
12. Watched Steve make matters worse when he tried to "keep them content" by playing with them. However, since his "playing with them" involves throwing them around, tickling them and rough housing, he really only made things worse.
13. Commented to my parents how perhaps now they could see why I consume alcohol every evening after everyone else is sleeping.
14. Almost laughed (while also fuming) when it took three adults almost 20 minutes to get two young children's shoes and coats on so we could leave.
15. Came home where I had to endure the sounds (and smells) of my husband and my daughter, whom pork and saurkraut apparently has a very socially inacceptable effect on.
16. FINALLY managed to calm the children down and get their asses in bed by 9:00.
17. Recalculated the hours until the girls both go back to daycare this week. My sweet, sweet childfree two days...
18. Enjoyed a large hunk of chocolate fudge cake and a beer while listening to the sweet, sweet silence in the house.