2. Having Grace give me a 5 minute "lesson" in how if you squeeze a snake's neck over a glass, you can "milk" it and have "milk" come out of its mouth into the glass.
3. After explaining to her that it's not milk, but poisoness venim, she said, "Yeah. That's why you have to wear gloves and goggles. Because if you get touched by it, you'll "get dead." Alrighty then... no more watching Animal Planet with Daddy for awhile...
4. Heard nearby gunshots at midnight. Because, ya know... fireworks would be WAY too dangerous.
5. Wondered who the hell gets stuck cleaning up all that damn confetti in Times Square after everyone goes home.
6. Realized my rubbed off, worn out credit card finally expires this year.
7. Am thrilled we're finally in an even-numbered year. I hate odd numbers.
8. Wondered if I'll ever again be next to anyone awake at midnight on New Year's Eve. Even my damn cats are asleep.
9. Decided that the kids' showerhead we gave Grace for Christmas may be a double-edged sword. She took three showers today (and begged for more), each lasting about 45 minutes. At least she'll be a clean child, right?
10. Laughed my ass off when Hannah threw a diaper at Steve, and said in a rather stern voice, "Dad! Change my diaper!.... NOW!" Way to go kid!
11. Laughed even harder when she called him a dorkus after he was done. Such wonderful, demure daughters I've raised.
12. Looked around and decided that life doesn't really get much better than this...
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!!!
May your 2006 be happy and healthy and filled with wonderful surprises.