Highlights and Observations of the Day (Thursday)...

1) Yes, I can tell the difference when I don't drink my usual half of a pot of coffee in the morning. {grumble grumble}

2) Contemplated the whole What Would Jesus Do? (WWJD?) "campaign". I mean, how do we know what the dude would do? It's not like we can email him after the fact and say, "Hey buddy. How'd I do? Would you have dumped the cheating wench's ass too or would you have forgiven her and given her another chance?" I mean, aren't there more practical people we could use as an example? Like WWOD (What Would Oprah Do?). Or WWDPD? (What Would Dr. Phil Do?). At least we have a shot of contacting the two of them to find out if we're still worthy of wearing the bracelet.

3) Have decided that I honestly don't know how much longer my life can go on if I don't just give in and buy the Betty Crocker Bake and Fill Cake Pan. See, now you all think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm totally not. I am mesmerized by that damn thing every time the stupid commercial comes on. I've been known to push Grace out of the way if she gets in the way while I'm watching it. I.... must.... have.... that.... pan....

4) Met my friend from an internet board and her husband tonight for a few hours. I called him a wuss within 15 minutes of him being here. When they left, they took with them, the entire case of beer I bought. I don't think they're coming back.

5) I don't think I blame them.

6) Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms. Pig Roast Attendee, No, I do NOT need you to bring a dessert. I truly appreciate the offer, but this is quickly turning into a cake walk or bake sale which isn't nearly as much fun when you're drunk as a pig roast is! Please bring a bag of Guacamole Doritos instead. Thank you.

7) The Kids on Crack were back in action tonight. Except this time, Grace had donned her new brown leather biker boots, so it was much more superhero-like (and more painful for Hannah).

8) I want a pair of badass biker bitch boots too. Matching ones. Who dares me to get 'em?

9) Decided to start referring to all vaginas as "moths" after yesterday's little, um, mix up. I wonder if they're attracted to light the same way real moths are.