Tuesday, August 09, 2005

24-Hour Emergency What?!

OK. So I'm driving the girls home from the park yesterday and get behind a truck. On this truck it says, "Quality Carpet and Upholstery Cleaning" at the top. OK. Cool.

The next line was a phone number. "1-800-something or other". Well that makes sense. Every business needs a phone number.

I keep reading. "Water. Smoke. Stains." Great. Spell out what you clean.

It's the next line down that has me scratching my head. "24-Hour Emergency Service." Um, come again? Is there a market for 24-hour emergency carpet cleaning?

Let's set up some scenerios...

Scenerio #1: It's 2:00 AM. Everyone else in the house has long been sleeping and you're enjoying a nice glass of red wine while watching a late night talk show before you yourself head to bed. But you doze off while holding that wine and it tips over in your sleep, falling the 2 feet to your gorgeous white shag carpet below. It wakes you up. "Oh my GOD! What am I going to do? WAIT! I know! Call the 24-hour emergency carpet cleaning service!" So you make that all important phone call. Five miles away some redneck yahoo gets the call and drags his ass out of bed, possibly still drunk. Possibly in the middle of a romp with his toothless wife. "Sorry hon. I have to go. I have a red wine emergency."

Back at the accident site, you're pacing. Impatiently waiting for the strange man to come to your home at 3:00 in the morning to clean that blood red stain, sinking into your precious carpet. He arrives! Thank GOD!

Scenerio #2: It's the middle of the night. You smell smoke and it turns out you house is on fire! Everyone in the house escapes unharmed with the exception of the dog and the fire department puts out the fire. It could have been worse, but you've lost some important things in the fire and there's a ton of smoke damage.

"But honey! We can save our sofa! I'll call that 24-hour emergency carpet cleaning service!"

"Sweetheart, we lost so much of our stuff. Our computer, our wedding album, our precious poodle FiFi."

"But honey! We have our sofa! Everything will be OK! Thank GOD for 'Quality Carpet and Upholstery Cleaning!'"


Yup. People sure are weird...

8 comments:

tracey said...

You are SUCH a dork and obviously have never had the sewer back up into your basement afterhours on a weekend.

Melissa said...

Why does Fifi have to buy the farm in your scenerio?

Emily said...

Duh, Melissa...cuz Fifi was ON the sofa...

sheesh...

Kappy said...

Look.... when you commit murder after business hours, SOMEONE has to come clean!

Alien said...

Because poodles are creepy.

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