Planet Alien

WEEKEND REPORT

"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." ~Lane Olinghouse

~ Watched the girls have a naked tea party. Clothing is apparently optional in their world.

~ Jumped for joy when our stove top was hooked up and I realized we could now at least partially cook in our kitchen.

~ Cringed every time TLC ran that damn commercial for that damn new show about midgets.

~ Was a little surprised when our friendly neighborhood Jehovah's Witness appeared at our doorstep with his wife yesterday.

~ Chuckled inwardly when she handed me a pamphlet and gave me "homework" to do in my free time.

~ Stood there like a deer in headlights when she asked when would be a good time for her to come back and review it with me. Uhhh... come back? Here? To review it? Shit.

~ She said she'd be back on Thursday morning and I now have to figure out how to nicely tell her I'm really not interested. Double shit.

~ Laughed when my FIL walked in and it turns out the guy half of the JW couple worked with him for 32 years. Small freakin' world, I tell ya.

~ Laughed when Grace got her foot caught in the seatbelt of her Barbie Jeep trying to get out, and therefore, couldn't make it to the bathroom in time and peed in her pants.

~ Laughed even harder when she came out of the bathroom after changing her pants to tell me that when she took her sock off, she threw it and it landed in the toilet so she pulled it out. God help me...

~ Shook my head when Grace strapped herself into our unhung baby swing for the swingset and then walked around with it stuck on her butt for 30 minutes. The best was when she fell backwards and laid there on her back, waving her legs in the air like an upside down turtle. That kid's just not right.

~ Was glad when both girls wanted to sleep at my mom's last night.

~ Wasn't so glad when she brought them home this morning and informed me that they both woke up at the crack of dawn and were extremely tired. [sigh]

~ Tried to fight off a migraine I had all day today.

~ Sealed/enhanced a few of our backsplash tiles to see how they'd look. (Gorgeous!)

~ Had to stop when Grace kept begging me to "help".

~ Chuckled when Steve took Grace with him to go to the taxidermist to pick up his dad's mounted deer head and one of the tanned bear skins.

~ Was concerned that Grace might actually like going to the taxidermist and that just doesn't seem right.

~ Found out that the T-Ball league I signed Grace up for this spring doesn't keep score and they don't have outs. As much as I can see this logic for kids their age, it's also going to make for some boring spectator viewing. Grace is going to be pissed (she's very competitive). Of course, she's also a sore loser (we're working on that), so it could be a good thing I suppose.

~ Partially burned my mini pizza in the toaster oven. Fuck.

~ Just as I was about to take my first bite, my friend, Jerry, knocked on the door. Fuck. (He's a VERY nice guy, but kind of a geek and tends to stay for hours when he stops by.)

~ Stood in the kitchen talking to him while starving and knowing my half-burned mini pizza was right around the corner on my computer desk.

~ Listened to him talk about everything from German armored cars, to wine racks, to expensive Halloween costumes. [sigh]

~ Breathed a sigh of relief when Steve and Grace got back from the taxidermist and Jerry told Steve he was actually here to talk to him about starting up his own business.

~ Ate my now cold, half-burned mini pizza.

~ Told Grace no when she asked to go to Blockbuster, using the I-Don't-Have-Money-Right-Now excuse, when in reality, it was just too effing cold to go.

~ Felt guilty when 15 minutes later she came around the corner, handed me $0.85 in change, and told me she found some money, coudl we please go to the movie store now to see if they had Stuart Little 3.

~ Took her and Hannah to Blockbuster. (They didn't have Stuart Little 3.)

~ Got back home to find Jerry still here with Steve, almost 3 hours after arriving.

~ Was kind of glad when Steve said he had to head to his dad's and Jerry said he had to leave too. Whew.

~ Started having horrendous burning stomach pain, which is still haunting me as I type this.

~ Planned on using our stove top for the first time tonight.

~ Steve working on the kitchen vents until 8:30 tonight prevented that from actually happening.

~ During another stellar mommy moment, didn't feel like going out in the bitter cold to go down the street to the gas station for milk, so instead, gave the girls Popsicles whenever they'd ask for a glass of milk. I suck. (Or I rule if you're looking at it from a kid's perspective.)

~ Watched the finale of "Dancing with the Stars" and I'm still not really sure why.

~ Am seriously annoyed by Meredith's hair on "Grey's Anatomy". Seriously, what is with those two effing sections of hair that hang down around her face when it's in a ponytail? Either cut the effing things shorter so they're just wispy, or wear an effing barrette. Jesus.

~ Decided this was a good time to state, once again, how much I seriously hate Meredith. I literally can't stand her character and would be more than happy if they would've just killed her off in the bomb episode the other week.