Tuesday, February 21, 2006


"A hard man is good to find." ~Mae West

~ Woke to the sight of cat puke in the middle of the floor. [sigh]

~ Had a fairly good (i.e., uneventful) morning.

~ Ignored Hannah's cries and whines while standing under the scalding hot water of the shower. (I don't care if Grace called you a Poopyhead, Hon. Mommy's trying to veg. Go away, will ya?)

~ Washed a buttload of dishes again.

~ Decided I will never, ever, ever not have a built-in soap dispenser in my kitchen again. Whatever life may throw at me from here on out, it had damn well better include one of those suckers.

~ Finally filled the ice cube trays and put them in the freezer. They've been sitting on our windowsill for a good 3 or 4 months now. (Jesus, I am a lazy son of a bitch, no?)

~ Cleaned the sawdust out of one cabinet, in order to put my freshly washed crockpot in it. (Shut up. It's progress.)

~ Filled out a 500 page survey I received in the mail regarding our grocery shopping habits. I'm still not sure why I even bothered, except that while doing it, I could say, "Just a second. Mommy's doing work here," whenever the girls asked me for something.

~ Received a call from another person regarding a job. However, I'm not sure of the details because when I picked up and the woman asked for me, I assumed it was some sort of telemarketer or someone telling me I owe them money, so I said I wasn't here. After she explained who it was, it seemed like a bad idea to say, "Psych! Just kidding! This is Allison. I was just fucking around."

~ Was pleasantly surprised when my father-in-law swung by to drop off a container of homemade chicken noodle soup (I'm still not sure why). Sometimes living near family isn't so bad after all.

~ Finally mailed my thank you cards for the girls' Christmas gifts. (Shut up. It's progress.)

~ Took the girls to visit my grandfater in the hospital where Grace proceeded to ask him questions about every thing in the room. God bless patient great-grandfathers.

~ Thanked god for Steve when he made comments three times throughout the evening about how great the house is looking and how he's noticed. Awww... just when you thought he was nothing but a pain-in-the-ass, anal retentive dickbag, he goes and says something nice. [happy sigh]

~ Finally received a comment from our good friend GB, whom I thought had deserted us. And then he called me "Babe." [giggle]

~ Was slightly disturbed that I got all excited when he called me Babe. Shit. I'm becoming a little hussy, just like EE. [heavy sigh] (I'm kidding EE. Please don't hurt me.)

~ Became paranoid that he's actually my good friend from kindergarten with the same initials, pretending to be married with kids, reading my blog and telling all of our friends about my psychotic tendencies (as if they didn't know) and my "Fran" bowling shirt. So Gerard, if it's you, knock it off, or I'll tell our friends about the porn stories you used to write for fun in Jr. High.


mama_tulip said...

Ack! Dude, you send out thank-you cards for Christmas gifts? Are you supposed to, or is this just some weird thing that you do?

beth said...

No, she's a freak. Didn't you know she was an overachieving social ass-kisser? (lol)

Alien said...

LOL Katherine! Normally I wouldn't. But we get quite a few gifts sent to us for the kids, so I feel I HAVE to acknowledge the gift and say thank you. Since I normally order the photo cards from Snapfish or Shutterfly or whatever, they come in packs of like 12, even though I theoretically, only need like 4 or 5. So usually, everyone gets a thank you card, but only because I have them and what the hell else am I gonna do with them, ya know? LOL!

Shut up Beth. LOL!

gb said...

I'm glad I could add some excitement to your day.........babe!! ;-)
...and no, I am not Gerard. What a tough name to grow up with! Poor kid.

beth said...

LMAO! I had to do a double-take to make sure that wasn't the same "Shut up, Beth." I got last week from you.

EE said...

I love that you like I'm a HUSSY! LMAO, niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. ;) Perv? Flirt? Yes. Hussy? NO! Dork

I *LOVED* my built in soap dispenser.......until it broke. Stupid thing.

Alien said...

GB: What's even worse is that poor Gerard is short (like 5'2"), chubby and has red hair. But he's been my bud since kindergarten and he's sooooo nice. Poor guy is right. (((((Gerard)))))

Tink said...

Pffft. Thank you cards. I'm too lazy to send out invitations for a party. Eh. They should all be able to read my damn mind.

mama_tulip said...

Okay, that makes perfect sense. I do the same. At first I thought you were like, writing thank you card to your mom and shit and I was like, Oh no. I have so fucked up in the etiquette department.

Pink Rocket said...

i miss my little water sprayer thingy that's built into the faucet!!

gb said...

Well, if Gerard is your friend, he has that going for him anyway!!

Alien said...

Ah, thanks GB, dude. (Is dude the male equivalent of babe? Or is it hunk? Studmuffin? Sunshine?...)

gb said...

I prefer studmuffin! Ha Ha!

Chelle Y. said...

Alien, I send out thank you cards too. I'm a dork, I know! :o) It's just something my dad drilled in me since I was a kid, thankfulness! :o)

Besides, if your thankful, you may get more stuff! Hee-hee!

Janet said...

Soap dispensers are incredible! Love them!

I always pretend I am not myself on the phone too, easier than having to talk to a telemarketer:-)

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