Tuesday, February 28, 2006

THINGS THAT MAKE ME THINK I SHOULD'VE JUST STAYED IN BED TODAY...

~ Coming home from grocery shopping to find Steve furious about something. Came to find out, one of the cat's had apparently pissed on his coat which happened to be lying on top of the brand spankin' new granite countertops that Steve would make love to if he could. NOT a good way to start our day, lemme tell ya...

~ Getting into heated "discussions" with Steve's friend (Grace's godfather) when he stopped by to hang out for a bit. He treats us very well, but jesus, is he a fucking idiot and an opinionated son of a bitch.

~ For the first time in my life, made "dippy eggs" (for Grace) and didn't break the yolk when I flipped them over. This is a good thing and well worth getting out of bed for. However, after celebrating by jumping around like an ass, I realized I had burnt her toast to a crisp. [sigh]

~ Grace acting like a fucking lunatic when I went to pick her up at my parents' house after daycare. Screaming she wanted to sleep over again, screaming she wanted to buy her own house and live right next to grandma (She says she has 85 cents to do it), ripping her shoes off in the car and chucking them around, threatening to unbuckle her seatbelt, etc.

~ The above behavior made me want to just get the hell home, which is where the police officer comes into play...


  • I'm driving home, just wanting to get to the freakin' house as my 4-year-old screams like a damn banshee in the back seat.
  • I see flashing lights in my rearview mirror. Fuck! FUCK! FUCK!
  • Tell myself maybe he just wants to get past me, and pull over. No such luck. [sigh]
  • He asks for my license, registration, etc. I hand it all to him.
  • He starts talking, mentioning that I live right down the street from where he pulled me over.
  • Grace overhears and starts yelling from the backseat, "We live at 82 ____ Street, ________, PA 1___5!", reciting our entire address.
  • The officer (and I ignore her and continue talking.)
  • Grace yells from the backseat in a pissed off tone, "Um, excuse me... we live at 82 ____ Street, ________, PA 1___5."
  • I silently tell her to shut the hell up in my head.
  • Officer chuckles.
  • Grace asks (loudly) what I was pulled over for.
  • I give the officer a look that says, "For the love of god, please don't hold my child against me," turn around, and tell Grace that I got pulled over for driving too fast.
  • Car drives past us on the road, going (what seemed to be), pretty fast.
  • Grace yells from the backseat, "Well, what about that guy? He's going too fast too!"
  • I silently wish for the ground to open up and swallow me. Shut UP Grace! For the love of...

(Note: I actually couldn't stop laughing afterwards. Only Grace... [shaking head]. And the cop was beyond super cool and gave me a $25 parking ticket instead of the speeding ticket (16 mph over the limit), and laughed at Grace.)

17 comments:

Janet said...

I have so often wondered how I have not gotten a ticket when driving home with the kids screaming at me! LMAO at Grace- she probably spared you a ticket!

Carrie said...

I'm sorry that happened. Why on earth did he give you a PARKING ticket? Because it was cheaper?

Mary said...

Yeah so how did you get a parking ticket exactly?!?! The cop only thought you were a little wrong or something? hehehe

Alien said...

LOL! He gave me a choice of the speeding ticket or two $25.00 parking tickets. With the parking tickets, there aren't any points on my license, they don't cost as much, and my car insurance won't hear about it.

gb said...

That's a funny story!

geenalyn said...

LMAO....Gracie is hysterical

Kim said...

OMG! I just peed.

That's hilarious! That Grace is something else!

Slacker Mom said...

Too funny.

She's a riot.

Chelle Y. said...

That is so funny! I just cannot believe that you actually took a picture of the police car or did you just find that picture somewhere on the internet? And people are telling me that I carry my digital camera around too much! :o)

Hope your day goes better!

Chelle Y. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tink said...

Your cops drive MUSTANGS. Jesus. Let's just add that much more to their over-inflated egos. I'm sorry about your tickets. It's cool that they weren't speeding tickets. Would have been cooler if he'd totally let you off the hook.

Susan said...

OMG, Grace just totally cracks me up.

Hope today is better.

Alien said...

LOL! You guys, I found that picture on the internet you dorks. The guy that pulled me over was in an unmarkeded car with no red and blue lights.

EE said...

Well, I was happy to not read you had drown your kids in the tub, lol....it seemed possible after our conversation last night.

Still sorry to hear about the ticket. But TG you only have to pay the money rather than have to deal w/ going to court and the points, insurance, etc.

Emily said...

omg...LMAO @ Grace....

I swear she is SO MUCH like Julia!!!

Amber said...

I can't believe he gave you a ticket at all, and not a pass to a day spa!lol.

Um, we have a guy in our area who is pulling women over in an 'unmarked car with no lights', acting like a cop, and then attacking them! 3 women so far. Grace may have saved you from a psycho!;)

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