Planet Alien

THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE TODAY

1. Unclogging the vacuum cleaner. I realize that doesn't sound like something that would make a person smile, but I found intense pleasure in jamming that coat hanger into the vacuum hose repeatedly and pulling out all that cat hair.

2. Accidentally knocking Grace flat on her ass when we were dancing around like idiots and I hip-checked her in an attempt to do "The Bump." Uh, sorry, Hon. Mama's got junk in her trunk.

3. Hannah dancing buck naked and moving her body in ways that only a paid professional should be able to do.

4. Grace getting seriously upset when she and Hannah were topless and she discovered that "Hannah's boobies are bigger."... [whining] "Why are Hannah's boobies bigger? I'm the big sister!" Kid, you've got a long, long road ahead of you. Just ask Emily. :)

5. The following conversations with Grace:

Conversation #1

Me: "Grace, I wish I could poop. My belly hurts."

Grace: "Why can't you poop?"

Me: "I dunno. It won't come out."

Grace: "Hmmm... Maybe it's clobbed like the vacuum." (She meant clogged.")

Conversation #2

I yelled at Grace for something. I don't even remember what anymore, but I kept telling her not to do something, and she kept doing it. She got pissed, grabbed a card she made me yesterday (a picture she drew of her and I), and stomped into the other room. About a minute later, she came stomping back in and thrust the card in my face...

Grace: "Here! Now there's an angry face on you!" (She had drawn over my face on the card and made it look mad.)

Me: "What's that for?"

Grace (in a totally pissed off tone): "Because you don't love me anymore!" (She stomped away, to drown her sorrows in her sippy cup of milk.)

6. Belting out "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor when it came on the radio.

7. The look Grace gave me when I was belting out "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor when it came on the radio.

8. Various Capital One commercials. "What's in your wallet?" They seriously make me piss myself laughing.