Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 10.18.2005)

1) Sent Grace up to daycare and then looked around at the sad state of my house, remembered how much work I have to do for my actual job, realized we have little to no food in the house, and thought about temper-throwing Hannah following me around all day, and physically cringed.

2) Checked on Salinger and realized I'd have to get up there at some point today and clean up all sorts of the stupid cat's bodily fluids. [sigh]

3) Had my mom call me from the daycare at 8:00 AM and ask if I was going to try to take Hannah for her first real haircut, like we had talked about. Yes Mom... in my spare time.

4) Had Hannah eat a ton of green sugar when I wasn't looking (shut up), and when she looked in the mirror, she laughed and said, "I look like Daddy now!"

5) Heated up a piece of pizza for Hannah for lunch. But then I decided I wanted it, so I never told her I had it and ate it before she saw me.

6) Managed to squeeze in about 10 minutes of work before lunchtime. So much for that deadline.

7) Took Hannah outside for an hour before lunch, in an attempt to wear her down so she'd crash hard for her nap after lunch.

8) Apparently sunlight has the same effect as caffeine on her and she wouldn't go to sleep regardless of what I did.

9) Sat here laughing hysterically as I heard her saying all kinds of funny-as-hell over the monitor from her crib.

10) Gave up after 45 minutes and brought her back downstairs.

11) Realized the cat's butt still stank and literally wiped it about 25 times with Hannah's wipes, desperately trying to make him stop smelling so I could stop gagging.

12) Cleaned up the puddle Hannah made when she peed on the floor in front of our shelves of food. (Did I mention I'm a little tired of bodily fluids today?)

13) Remembered I had freaky ass nightmares last night where these guys abducted Steve and I in a parking lot and kept biting our hands and fingers until they finally just shot Steve. Made for quite a good night's sleep, lemme tell ya.

14) Washed 8,345,632 dishes (in the bathroom sink) that had been scattered throughout the home.

15) Threw away one container crusted with old food because it wasn't worth the effort it would've taken to actually get it clean enough to eat food out of it again.

16) Drank a beer at 2:30. (Yes, the day was that bad.)

17) Hannah took a 5-minute nap in the car from our house to Giant on our way out to my parents to pick up Grace. Yeah, NOW is not the time ya little shit.

18) Grabbed a few groceries and totally forgot all of the things I went there for to begin with.

19) Because of this, I am drinking beer out of a Care Bears cup again tonight.

20) Got fast food for dinner yet again because I was starving, my day had sucked, I was exhausted, and the thought of coming home and making something was making me cry.

21) Was smart enough (this time) to buy Grace her own chicken planks meal at Long John Silver's.

22) She ate all of the cheese I had gotten for my Arby curly fries instead. Seriously. One day I'll get to eat my own food again...

23) Put Hannah to bed at 7:30.

24) Started praying to god she'd sleep through the night.

25) Found out the electrician is coming tomorrow morning at 9:00. Yeah... suuurrrre you are buddy. We've heard that before. (He said he waited because he knew the kids wouldn't be around tomorrow.)

26) Due to the fact that I have to go into the office on Thursday for all day meetings, realized that this week will once again pass with no time for me to sit in my house alone and vegetate the way borderline psychotics need to do to keep from going over the edge.