Highlights of the Day (Monday 10.17.2005)

1) Woke up and realized I only had 90 minutes before the electrician was due to show up.

2) Tried to sneak upstairs while the girls were engrossed in "Baby Einsteins", but Hannah came up and started picking summer seer sucker dresses out of her closet to wear. Don't think so sweetheart. It's a little too cold today for that.

3) Watched Hannah throw a tantrum when the shirt she finally did pick wouldn't fit over her head.

4) Managed to get her dressed.

5) Sent Grace upstairs to get dressed and she came down in shorts and a long-sleeved T-shirt. Hey, it works for me.

6) Watched Hannah threw a computer keyboard across the living room. Good arm, kid.

7) Read my work email and found out they want a rough draft of an entire user's guide by tomorrow. Looks like I'll be up late tonight.

8) Did whatever I could to take my morning um, bathroom break, before the electrician showed up.

9) The electrician never showed up. Bastard.

10) The girls and I had hot chocolate and microwave popcorn for lunch. Awesome.

11) Was thrilled to find out Steve won last week's football pool and I won this week's.

12) Was bummed to find out I tied with two other girls this week and will only receive $8.66.

13) Remembered that mine AND Steve's winnings will be sent to MY PayPal address, so really, I won two weeks in a row. ;)

14) Tried hard not to laugh when I heard Hannah crying in the next room and went in to find out, "Gracie knocked me over and spanked my butt." When asked WHY she would do that, Grace said, "Because I told her if I heard one more noise, I was going to spank her butt. And then she made another noise."

15) Let the girls run around like total idiots in the empty kitchen, playing with big long tubes of soft pipe insulation that my father-in-law left here. This had a double motive. One, I was in no mood to take them outside because it's cold and windy and I didn't feel like pushing them in the swings. And two, I figured it would burn off more energy than watching TV would, perhaps making them go to bed earlier.

16) When Grace then showed me how Hannah had ripped holes in one of the pieces, I took them away, put them back where they had been, and told them not to tell their father. Yup. Stellar mom moment, lemme tell ya.

17) Conversation with Grace:

[She was using a spray bottle filled with water and paper towels to "clean" the windows in the house.]
Grace [talking to herself]: "I have a mean brother that makes me do all the work."
Me: "A brother? You have a brother?"
Grace: "Yes. He's mean. And his name is Blue. And he doesn't talk. He just goes [insert shrieking noise here]."

Alrighty then.

18) Drank my beer out of a plastic Care Bears cup because we were out of disposable cups. This disturbs me for some reason.

19) Had a knock down drag out fight with Grace after she wouldn't listen when I told her to stop doing something and she accidentally bent my finger back, making it swell up. Sent her to her room after threatening her life. She laughed in my face.

20) Felt guilty two minutes later and went up, gave her a lecture, and sent her back downstairs.

21) Felt like an ass when Steve commented, "Oh yeah. She'll learn. She had to sit in her room for a whopping thirty seconds. Way to teach her a lesson." Shut up jackass. I HATE when I lose my cool like I did and mommy guilt is far worse than daddy guilt. Bite me.

22) I hate when he's right.

23) Managed to polish off an entire can of Pringles. [oink.]

24) I would, again, like to thank the makers of new Reynold's Crockpot Liners. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

25) Officially declared "How I Met Your Mother" as my new favorite sitcom.

26) Was rather pleased with myself when I noticed Salinger was having his typical constipation symptoms again and I managed to pen him in our upstairs kitchen/laundry room for the night before he peed and crapped on everything in the house (including Steve's bed).

27) Realized I haven't seen our other cat at all today and that's strange. Hmmm...