Highlights of the Day (Friday 10.07.2005)

1. Had Hannah wake up at the ass crack of dawn, after I had gone to bed at an ungodly hour. [sigh]

2. Watched my two children fight incessantly for the first hour they were both awake.

3. Had Hannah pee on the kitchen floor because she refused to get dressed and was running around naked.

4. Grace threw a piece of her play kitchen toast and nailed me right in the forehead, which hurt like a son of a bitch and caused me to get a headache.

5. Heard Grace ask Hannah, "What's shakin', bacon?" What the hell?

6. Was amazed at how a large box can entertain two children for literally hours.

7. Wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or seek therapy for her when Hannah ended up in a dress worn backwards (so she could see the buttons that are supposed to be down the back), a skirt underneath the dress, too small shoes, and sunglasses. She even took her nap in all of it.

8. Was selfishly bummed when I called the kitchen guy to set up an appointment to finally pick the cabinets tomorrow and he told me he had to get back to me because he may have a funeral tomorrow. (I suck.)

9. Was thrilled when the kitchen guy called back and said we can indeed, come in tomorrow morning and make our choices.

10. Realized after Grace "accidentally" spilled grape Kool-Aid across the entire "kitchen", that I should probably pay more attention to what the girls were doing. But I was too tired to care.

11. Wanted to beat Steve's ass when I finally got the girls calmed down (I think they've been meeting up with their crack dealer again) and he walked in early from work and got them completely wired again. Assmunch.

12. Had a dad in fatigues at Grace's gymnastics class tell me (very nicely) that I had a $20.00 sticker on my ass and that he wasn't trying to be gross, but he figured I'd want to know.

13. I made some remark about it being the new trend and made Grace take it off my ass.

14. Beamed with pride when three seperate moms told me that they noticed how very good Grace is at gymnastics. (She really is.)

15. Was annoyed when at the end of class, they handed the girls books with $40+ metallic and glittery bodysuits for sale, prompting all of the girls to beg their moms for one. Yeah. Because the $8.00 ones at WalMart certainly aren't good enough for 4-year-olds.

16. Was happy that I'm starting to talk to some of the other mothers on a regular basis, and that I may actually make some real-life friends with kids the same age. Dare I dream?

17. Can't figure out why everytime today when I told Hannah not to do something, she said, "But I'm just doing like the dolphins do." Um, huh? First of all, what's the sudden fascination with dolphins? And second of all, I'm pretty sure that dolphins do NOT put bottle caps in their mouths and lean over the porch railing. Of course, I could be wrong...

18. Revisited all of the feelings in #7 when Hannah insisted on taking her bike helmet to bed with her tonight. She's not wearing it mind you, but she is snuggling it like it's the softest, squishiest teddy bear you ever did see.