Highlights of the Day (Saturday 10.22.2005)

1) Had Hannah wake up WAY too freakin' early, which in turn, made Grace wake up WAY too early.

2) Based on the rain pouring from the sky, we assumed Steve's golf tournament was cancelled.

3) Watched Steve (not literally) get showered and dressed in preparation to work on the kitchen for the day.

4) Told the girls Daddy would buy hay bales today so we could go out on the covered back porch and make a scarecrow.

5) Almost threw up when Steve grilled cheeseburgers and hot dogs at 9:30 this morning because he was hungry and we didn't have any "breakfast food."

6) Steve called my dad right before he left to run to the bank to make sure the tournament was cancelled. Was informed that they were indeed going to play and my dad was leaving to pick Steve up. CRAP!

7) Told Steve if he didn't go buy a hay bale before he left, I'd rip him a new one.

8) Ran to the gas station to hit the ATM (since Steve now needed cash) wearing Pepto Bismol pink sweatpants, black fur-lined clogs, and a T-shirt with no bra because I had to get money ASAP for Steve to go get the hay bale before he left.

9) Came back and realized I needed cigarettes and soda for the day, so I ran back to the gas station so I could go without dragging two children with me. (Still wearing the pink sweats, but threw on a gray hooded sweatshirt and opted for flip-flops.)

10) Was excited to see they had NON-diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, which I hadn't had a chance to try yet.

11) Sent Steve out the door and was instructed that I needed to now go to the bank since he didn't get the chance to go.

12) Threw the girls in the car and ran to the bank and then made a run through the Long John Silver's drive-thru and the Arby's drive-thru.

13) Ordered 4 cheese cups so Grace wouldn't eat all mine.

14) Started stuffing a scarecrow as Hannah kept running off the porch into the cold rain, and Grace tried to do it with one hand in her pocket because she was cold.

15) Got the pants and shirt stuffed and convinced the girls to come inside until later.

16) Was a bit embarrassed when Grace came up with a solution for how to attach the pants to the shirt when I couldn't think of anything.

17) Warned Grace that if she threw a blanket over her head and ran at Hannah, sending Hannah running through the house screaming one more time, I was going to beat the living daylights out of her.

18) Cursed the fact that the baby shower was cancelled, as Grace threw a complete tantrum and chucked her pillow across the room saying she's "never going to lay down again!"

19) Tried the Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, and while very good, pretty much tastes exactly like regular Dr. Pepper. What gives?

20) Considered checking myself into a psych ward when Hannah flipped backwards off her ride-on car, smacking her head on the floor, and starting to screech while Grace simultaneously played her Barbie guitar behind me at the loudest volume possible while headbanging.

21) Felt guilty two minutes later after losing it and freaking out on them.

22) Thanked god for all that is holy when my sister called out of the blue and asked if Grace wanted to sleep over.

23) Decided I had done my duty when I warned her ahead of time that Grace had been rather "challenging" today because she was tired and my sister still wanted to have her over.

24) Breathed a sigh of relief when Hannah asked for Dora chicken noodle soup and I gave her some Cup of Noodle instead (the only thing I had) and she didn't notice.

25) The first beer I cracked open tonight has been one of the best tasting (and most rewarding) beers I've ever had the pleasure of drinking.

26) When Steve got home, we realized that the guy that helped him out on a few jobs last week totally lied to me about what Steve owed him when he came to pick up his cash and I gave him $50 extra of Steve's money. Steve was pissed (at him, not me).

27) Watched the first few minutes of "Tuckerville" and wondered, out of ALL the celebrities in the world, WHY TLC thinks we want to watch Tanya Tucker. Um yeah. Try again.