Where are the chicks?

So I came to the conclusion today that I HATE not having "real life" girlfriends near me. I have a ton of internet girlfriends, and yes, I've met quite a few of them. I cherish their friendships. Truly, I do. But I get insanely jealous of other women when I hear things like, "My girlfriends and I are heading to the lake this weekend to drink, gossip and scrapbook." And "I had a 'Girls' Night Out' last night and we had a blast." *sigh*

I have female "acquaintances" that I see from time to time. And I have non-internet girlfriends, but unfortunately, none of them live very close by. And those that do live around here seem to have this weird obsession with their husbands and refuse to do anything without them. Now don't get me wrong... I'm all for happy marriages and the whole companionship that you get out of it. But for the love of GOD, it's OK to be apart for longer than it takes for one of you to take a shit. (And for all I know, they do that together too.)

I adore my guy friends. I really do. I didn't have many female friends in high school, because I found girls boring, catty, and general PITAs. I didn't want to buy GAP clothing and wear pink to fit in. I wanted to talk perverted (i.e., like a guy), hang out, and just have fun. I didn't care if I didn't know how to apply the latest makeup trend or if I didn't know what that move was called when the prissy ass cheerleaders did that stupid thing where they wiggled their fingers in the air after a cheer. (What is that anyway. The "inventor" of that should be shot.)

But now that I'm old and married and have kids and live with someone with a penis, I want that "girl connection". Mind you, I still don't give a rat's ass what the latest trends are. And I still hold firm to my belief that most woman are catty and jealous in general. But it sure would be nice to be able to go out for a night (or two... or seven) and bitch about men. Not in a mean, vindictive way. But in a Jesus-they-annoy-the-shit-out-of-me sort of way.

There's my sister, I suppose. But we have virtually nothing in common anymore. She has no children (never will either), she treats her dogs better than I treat my human kids (I hate dogs), and although I really do like my brother-in-law, they have a pretty unhealthy marriage and my minor bitches really pale in comparison to hers.

There's my brother's wife. But they live kind of far away (not really, but not in the same town either). She's alright I guess. I don't have anything against her, mind you. But we also don't have much in common either. Maybe once they have kids????

Then there's my other sister-in-law (Steve's brother's wife). We used to despise each other. To the point where we didn't even acknowledge each other's existance when we were in a room together. We actually get along fairly well now, and probably have a lot of the same bitching to do. But it's Jen. I so cannot call her to do things together. As much as we've grown and matured since our kids were born, we still don't have very much in common...

Dammit. I knew I should've worn more makeup in high school. I bet everything would be different if I had done that... ;)