Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Chip off the old block...

So I'm sitting here munching on some of my favorite potato chips (Herr's Salt & Pepper Chips) and I start thinking (always dangerous). Do you realize how many flavors of potato chips there are? My god. We've got salt & pepper, sour cream & onion, salt & vinegar (another personal favorite), BBQ, ketchup (which I personally find positively disgusting), Old Chesapeke Bay (or Hudson Bay or Bay of Pigs or whatever the hell it is... something with a crab on it), cajun chips, sour cream & cheddar... The list goes on and on.

So then I start thinking some more (head for cover people), and decide I should invent a new flavor of potato chips. I mean, obviously people aren't satisfied with a just a plain deep fried potato crisp. We must now add condiment flavors to them to make them worthy of consumption. So I start brainstorming. What could be America's Newest Potato Chip Flavor thought up by little ol' me?

  • Salt & Mustard chips? (It can't be any worse than ketchup if you think about it.)
  • Lemon Pepper chips? (I'd buy 'em.)
  • Garlic and Onion chips? (Actually, those don't sound so bad... Hmmm...)
  • Chocolate covered chips? (For those PMS-y moments when you can't decide if you want salty or sweet...)
  • Ham flavored chips? (Don't tell me you've never crushed up chips in your ham sandwich...)
    How about Gravy Chips? (French fries with gravy are a big thing around here. May as well add that great gravy flavor to another form of the potato, right?)
  • Broccoli chips? (For vegetarians.)
  • Bacon chips? (For those mornings there's no time for a real breakfast.)
  • Shrimp chips or scallop chips or lobster chips (for your gourmet parties)
  • Muskrat chips (perfect for those hoedowns in the barn)
  • Venison chips (which I truly believe my husband and my in-laws would buy).

I could go on and on. Yup, that's it. My head has way too many ideas. I'm sooo calling the guy who figures out how to take real food and "trap" it's flavor in some sort of disgusting, colored powder sprinkled on potato chips. (I wonder what his major was in college?)

You read it here first people. When my face is on the Herr's or Ruffles bag the next time you visit your local grocery store, don't say I didn't warn you...

(Tomorrow we'll discuss dips...)

{Adding this later... Holy shit. I just checked out the Herr's website and their newest flavors are Bacon & Horseradish and Steak & Worcestershire. Are you fucking kidding me?}


Anonymous said...

Come to Canada. Not only do we boast "Tastes of Canada Toronto College Street Pizza Chips" (in which one reviewer said about the aroma, "Wow, It really does smell like pizza."), there's also a French Sports Combo BBQ Chicken and Classic Ribs Chips on the market somewhere.

Emily said...

Bob's Texas Style Jalapeno Chips Trust me...thumbs up...

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. »