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So this afternoon, my mom and I decided to take the girls to Country Junction, a big warehouse/store type place in town which likes to calls itself "The World's Largest General Store". I made quite a few observations while there.
<----- First of all, this huge frickin' elephant head the girls are standing next to is actually for sale. You can own it for only $18,000 (I shit you not.) So I'm thinking, if you can afford $18,000 for a fucking fake elephant head AND you have somewhere large enough to put it, what, may I ask are you doing in a place called "The World's Largest General Store?" I mean, shouldn't you be in like, Africa, on a safari, shooting a real elephant or something? So I took the girls' picture next to it for size comparison. I told Grace to pretend she was picking its "nose" (trunk), but my mom yelled at us. Big party pooper...
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So then, in the same area of the store, we stumble upon an alligator, with it's mouth open and a vicious expression on his face. Again, going for humor and ignoring all typical "motherly" behavior, I told Grace to stick her head in its mouth and pretend to be scared. *Snort!* (My mom yelled at us again, so we settled for her hand.)
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Then we walked around the corner and decided that monkeys are cool too. --->
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On our way out of the "pseudo zoo", we were faced with the blasted bubblegum machines. (Be DAMNED the man who invented them!) After a slight argument between Grace & I, I nixed all gum and candy and told her she could pick between a sticker, a temporary tattoo, or a cute beaded bracelet (what Hannah chose... Thank you Hannah!!) She wanted a tattoo and there was no changing her mind. I explained repeatedly before pushing that money into the coin slot that she had NO choice in which tattoo she got and that whatever came out was hers and I wasn't buying another one. What did she get? An 3" high evil looking snake wrapped around a dagger. That's nice. Real nice. It got worse when we got home, she leaned over and rested her hands on top of the toilet, yanked her T-shirt over her head, and demanded I put the tattoo on her back, right above the waistband of her underwear. Yup. Nothing like having a biker chick hoochie for a daughter. Sweet! (Payback really is a bitch, isn't it?)
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