Highlights and Observations of the Day (Wednesday)...

1) Ebay auctions currently at $64.21 with four days left.

2) Succumbed (Is that spelled right? It doesn't look right...) to societal pressures and bought the new Herr's Steak & Worcestershire flavored potato chips. (It's research for my new chip flavor crusade. Yeah. That's it...)

3) Had a tongue orgasm upon tasting the delectable treat mentioned in #2.

4) Went grocery shopping and mentally beat a woman's ass in the checkout next to me (please see today's other blog entry for details.)

5) The McDonald's (or Smickdonald's in Hannah speak) bacon, egg & cheese biscuit I got for breakfast upon completing our trip to the grocery store. A finer breakfast food does not exist.

6) Picked my underwear out of my ass crack about 18 times today. Screw it. I'm going back to my granny undies and my thongs (at least they're supposed to be up my ass).

7) Contemplated cutting my toenails several times after gouging my own leg with them, but was too lazy to actually do it.

8) Managed to wash my crockpot in my teeny tiny bathroom pedastal sink. (This is quite a task lemme tell you, and always gives me a great sense of accomplishment upon completion.)

9) Decided that a shower isn't really a shower unless you use Noxema. Seriously. Regular soap does the job and all, but that tingly Noxema face is what makes it a great shower.

10) Decided that from now on, I will only answer to the name "Assmunch".