Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 11.29.2005)

1. Apparently fell back to sleep after the alarm went off at 6:00 this morning.

2. Woke up at 6:30 and had exactly 10 minutes to get Grace up and dressed, get her lunch packed, and write out the daycare check before my mom came to pick her up.

3. Miraculously managed to do it.

4. Was a little bummed when Hannah woke up only 10 minutes after Grace woke up, not giving me the half hour I wanted to chug some coffee and watch some non-kid TV.

5. Was giddy with excitement when I checked a few of my order statuses online and saw that three things were scheduled to arrive today.

6. Wondered how I was ever going to keep the Bunn coffee maker under wraps until Steve's birthday on December 17th. I....want....to....use.....it....NOW! Ugh.

7. Got a call from Steve saying he shot a bear.

8. Laughed when he said he thinks it was already dead. LMAO! (He thinks it was the one he shot at last week. It sucks though because finding it so much later kind of took the whole thrill out of it. He won't know if it was "his" until he can get the bullet out of it. But regardless, it looks like we'll have a bear rug sometime soon. Um, yay?)

9. Had Steve's insurance guy show up to collect a check this morning. I totally forgot he was coming and answered the door at 10:30 in my red w/ snowflakes PJ pants and a red sequined Christmas jammie top with no bra. Ugh.

10. Stood with my arms crossed the whole time so he wouldn't see my sagging boobs.

11. Am sure it was obvious what I was trying to do.

12. Didn't answer the door when 45 minutes later, the UPS guy knocked. Mostly because I was still unshowered, still braless, and still in my jammies.

13. Realized the UPS guy probably thinks we're white trash. Everytime he drops off a package, he sets them on top of the case of beer we keep out there to keep it cold.

14. Figured the other empty beer box that had blown into the middle of the driveway at some point this morning probably just helped justify his thinking.

15. Was thrilled with the personalized Christmas gifts I ordered from a fantastic website I stumbled upon last week. I really can't wait until Christmas this year!

16. Couldn't stop laughing when Hannah kept saying she looked like a "candy can" in her red and white striped jammies. (She meant candy cane.)

17. Was soooo excited when I flipped on the Cartoon Network and found an Animaniacs Christmas special, complete with Pinky and the Brain. I used to LOVE that show and wondered what the hell happened to it.

18. Was less than enthusiastic when Steve called and left a message while I was in the shower, saying that when he got back to my FIL's house later, he'd call me so the girls and I could come up and see the bear and the buck my FIL had also shot this morning. Yay. Big thrill, lemme tell ya. Ugh.

19. Was glad he left a message so he wouldn't hear in my voice that I really didn't feel like coming to see anything.

20. Found out the co-creator of the Berenstain bears died. Felt guilty admitting I've never liked the Berenstain bears.

21. My feelings were all justified when I read an article about him and found out he used to work with Dr. Seuss. Yup. That would do it. Blech.

22. Sat in my living room and watched a young girl/woman sit in her broken down truck in front of my house, hoping she wouldn't knock on my door, asking to use my phone or something. Not because I was afraid. Just because I didn't feel like being "helpful." I suck.

23. Was relieved when someone else helped her and I didn't need to get involved.

24. Convinced myself that the 20 (or so) mini Reese's Peanut Butter cups that I ate in one sitting really only added up to 2 normal sized ones.

25. Was excited when Grace's blowfish shower head arrived via the mailman. She'll be so excited on Christmas, freaky kid that she is.

26. Took all of the gifts downstairs to hide in the basement and was rather disturbed to discover an unopened box I've never seen before that's a do-it-yourself taxidermy kit. I have NO earthly idea where the thing came from, whose it was/is, or how it came into our possession.

27. Briefly considered wrapping it and giving it to Steve as a Christmas gift.

28. Ended up meeting Steve at my MIL's house (much closer than my FIL's house) to see the dead bear.

29. The girls and I stood there in the POURING down rain, in the dark, looking at a dead bear for 5 minutes by just the light of my car's headlights.

30. It made me wonder how the hell I ended up at this point in my life. LOL!

31. Came home and burned my friggin' finger on the french bread pizza I was getting out of the toaster oven.

32. Sat with an ice pack on it for 45 minutes and it still hurts.

32. Got a voice mail from my used-to-be-evil sister-in-law asking if I wanted her to make reservations for me and the girls (as well as her and her two boys) for breakfast with Santa at a nearby diner in December.

33. Am slightly baffled by this sudden interest in hanging out with me and the girls and was unsure how to respond to the invitation.

34. Laughed when Grace begged for the pretend shaving kit she spied in a toy catalog.

35. Explained that it's for boys that want to pretend to shave like their daddies and she cried and said girls want to shave like their daddies too. Um, you'll be eating those words in a few years kid.

36. Managed to make my last two cigarettes actually be four "smoke breaks" because Steve wasn't home to watch the girls while I ran to the gas station, and there was no way in HELL I was taking them with me to the gas station in the pouring down rain at night.

37. Briefly considered running to the gas station when they "weren't looking" since it's right down the street, but figured I could get arrested for that or something.

38. Had to answer the phone when my SIL called for the second time, and agreed to go along to the Breakfast with Santa gig. This could be good or bad.

39. Hung up and found Hannah and Grace in the bathroom, with wet sleeves. After a few questions and some probing, found out they had been sticking their hands in the toilet. For the love of freaking god... (Ask me again why I drink. I dare you.)

40. Decided that after sending the girls off to daycare tomorrow morning, I'm going to head to the new Dunkin' Donuts that opened up last week and get the biggest damn mocha latte they sell.

41. Had a soaking wet husband walk in the house around 10:00 tonight, fresh from skinning a bear and a deer, and inform me that his buddy is going to be picking up the bear tomorrow morning to take it to the taxidermist, where Steve will pay the guy about $1,000 for a rug. For the love of freakin' god dude. Are you kidding me with this? Dear Lord...