Highlights of the Day (Friday 11.4.2005)

1) Had Grace wake up WAY too early.

2) Smiled as Grace walked around all morning, clutching her $3.00 from the tooth fairy like she had just hit the lottery.

3) Had Hannah's diaper leak while sitting on my lap this morning before I had a chance to change the one she had worn all night. Nice.

4) Realized that meant laundry was an absolute must today since her beloved Pooh Bear jammies she had just leaked through would have to be clean for bedtime tonight, or I'd have to face the "wrath of Hannah".

5) Took the girls upstairs with me so I could attempt to shower.

6) Got out of the shower, to discover that Hannah had colored on Grace's bedroom carpet (beige) with a marker (red).

7) Told Hannah she should thank her lucky god that it was washable marker.

8) Half-assed cleaned Grace's room.

9) Came downstairs and went on a weird, inexplicable cleaning rampage. I moved couches, moved entertainment centers, used the hose attachment on the vacuum to go around and suck out the crumbs and dust in every single crack in our hardwood floor, wiped the floor on my hands and knees, etc. Freaky shit.

10) Started to Magic Eraser the floors of Grace's dollhouse and realized it really was probably time to quit (or seek professional help).

11) Briefly contemplated skipping Hannah's nap when it got to be late in the afternoon.

12) Changed my mind when she threw the tantrum of the century over a dropped cracker.

13) Took Grace outside for her holiday card photo shoot while Hannah napped.

14) Told Grace to play nicely while I came in to get changed to take her to gymnastics.

15) Looked at my bedroom window and waved dorkily at her as she sat under the playhut part of her swingset.

16) Thought I saw her sort of looking at me and crying, but then thought, "Nah. She's good."

17) Continued to get dressed and put some makeup on and then glanced out again. "She is crying!... Oh, wait. She just smiled and waved at me. She's fine."

18) Woke Hannah up to get her ready for Grace's gymnastics class.

19) Walked out to tell Grace to come in and get changed, and I discover her sitting in Hannah's infant swing (which is on the ground and not attached to the swingset), with the buckles latched and no way to get out.

20) Realized that she HAD been crying and felt bad for a brief moment, but then started laughing too hard to care.

21) Almost peed myself laughing when the swing fell backwards with her in it and her legs flailing aimlessly.

22) Realized I really am going to hell.

23) Took Grace to gymnastics where Hannah decided that clinging to me was going to be her sole form of entertainment for the evening.

24) Think I invited about 5 people to next year's pig roast, but it's kind of all a big blur.

25) Became obsessed with finding out the one dad's story. He always brings his daughter, made mention tonight of the fact that he takes her to ballet and horseback riding classes too, etc. He's married (wears a wedding ring), but I'm dying to know the mom's story. Does she work odd hours so he has to bring her? Are they divorced (and him remarried) and the little girl's extracurricular activities his form of "visitation"? Is he a SAHD? Does he just want to? WHAT?!?! It's driving me friggin' crazy and I swear to god, I'm just going to ask him next week. I... must... know....

26) His daughter's name is Antanina (no idea how to spell it), but they call her "Nina". Interesting...

27) Decided Long John Silver's was in order for supper after gymnastics. (Because I suck and forgot to defrost meat again.)

28) Had to go through the LJS drive-thru AND the Arby's drive-thru since Grace likes to dip her LJS chicken planks into the Arby's cheddar cheese cups, normally reserved for curly fries.

29) Came home and started eating.

30) Grace looks at me and tells me her tooth is "bent over", and sure enough, the sucker was ready to come out.

31) Grace tries to yank it out, but gets pissed when she can't, saying it's too slippery.

32) Told us she wanted us to tie a string to it and slam the door.

33) Wondered if anyone ever actually extracts a tooth that way.

34) Watched Grace walk over, get a tissue, and use it to yank her own damn tooth out, while barely flinching. Seriously child... what is wrong with you? For the love of god...

35) Realized this could be a whole "Get Rich Quick" scheme she's working on.

36) Decided I'm too tired to add any more tonight... Zzzzz...