Highlights of the Day (Monday 12.12.2005)

1) Miraculously, BOTH girls slept until almost 7:30. I assure you, this never happens, and I was beyond thrilled when I looked at the clock.

2) Got annoyed that Steve took the day off of work today (because apparently 3 weeks straight of not working so he could hunt wasn't enough). I could care less if he works or not. I just don't want him here when he's not working. LOL! He totally disrupts our "routine" and I feel like a fat lazy slob if I sit on my fat ass and drink half a pot of coffee before like, moving and stuff.

3) Was thrilled when he went outside early to finally plow the driveway.

4) Used the hose attachment to suck every single solitary speck of dust, dirt, beads, pine needles, crumbs, etc. out of the cracks in our hardwood floor.

5) Got attacked by a dog-sized dust bunny while vacuuming the stairs.

6) Made a doctor's appointment for Grace, convinced she has strep throat again.

7) Hung up and realized that due to the time of the appointment, that Miss Hannah wasn't going to be taking a nap today. Joy.

8) Cleaned until it was time to leave for the doctor.

9) Had my beliefs confirmed when her strep test was positive. [sigh]

10) Took two overtired, sick children to KMart to get Grace's prescription filled.

11) Almost cried when the pharmacist told me there was an hour wait.

12) Sucked it up and headed for the toy department, with Hannah in the top of the shopping cart, and Grace walking.

13) Was in the toy deparment for about 2 minutes tops, when Hannah decided she wanted to walk too.

14) Wasted as much time as possible in the toy aisles, allowing the children to touch as many toys as they wanted to, as they pushed every button and sqeezed every hand of something that talked/sang/made noise/farted/recited the ABCs/etc.

15) Finished in the toys and had Hannah back in the top part of the cart, and Grace in the big, bottom part.

16) Told the girls to pick something for Steve's birthday.

17) Explained to Grace that Daddy doesn't like Dale Earnhardt (or NASCAR for that matter) and that although the Dale Earnhardt pajama bottoms are lovely, I think we can find something nicer for Daddy.

18) Didn't argue when she chose some weird contraption like thing to supposedly practice putting golf balls straighter.

19) Laughed (but agreed to buy) the shower radio Hannah picked for him.

20) Hannah started crying to sit in the back of the cart with Grace.

21) Grace started crying she didn't want Hannah to sit with her.

22) Put Hannah in the cart with Grace.

23) Grace cried because Hannah was touching her.

24) Threaten both with bodily harm if they don't pipe down and stop making people stare.

25) Grace tells me to fuck off (in so many words... she did NOT actually say that).

26) Hannah cries to sit in the upper part of the cart again.

27) I move her and tell both that absolutely NO ONE else will be moved from their current positions.

28) Head to the pharmacy counter, ready to fill the prescription myself if it's not ready yet.

29) Find out it is indeed ready.

30) Reconsider my previous threat and move Hannah into the big part of the cart with Grace because she won't stop screaming.

31) As I'm swiping my debit card, the girls are fighting and Hannah decks Grace right in the face.

32) Look around to see if anyone else noticed right as the pharmacist lady is saying, "Oh my god! She just popped her right in the face!" (while laughing).

33) Feel like a complete ass and am not sure whether to strongly discipline Hannah in front of all of the people there, or explain that she has had NO nap, feels like crap and we're all just exhausted.

34) Decide to take the explanation route right as Hannah smacks her again. [sigh]

35) Pharmacist lady tells the girls she has lollipops for them, and then says, "Can she have one even though she just popped her sister?" [sigh]

36) I say, "Hell yes. It may keep her from popping her again."

37) The girls kiss and hug before receiving their lollipops.

38) Pay for the rest of my crap and hightail it out of the store.

39) Did something I have never in my life done and absolutely hate when people do it (and often yell at them for it), and I left my shopping cart in the middle of an empty parking space in the parking lot. I had no choice. I strapped the two sick, exhausted, crying kids into their seats, and then noticed that the nearest cart corral was ALL the way across the parking lot and WAY too far for me to safely leave the girls. Sorry fellow shoppers, but I was sooo going to be a shopping cart ditcher. DAMN ME!

40) Both girls fell asleep two minutes before arriving home. Grace woke up when we got here. Hannah stayed sleeping.

41) Ran for beer and pizza while Steve "watched" the girls. Uh huh.

42) Listened to Steve rant and rave and bitch and moan about how he has too much paperwork to do and how he's hiring a secretary to do his business books... just like I hear every year when he decides to sit down and catch up on all the bills he has virtually ignored for the past month to go shoot at furry animals.

43) Had both girls sleeping by 8:15, and flopped my fat ass on the couch with a Miller Lite and decided that Wednesday, when both girls go to daycare, cannot come soon enough...