Highlights of the Day (Wednesday 12.07.2005)

1. Was up with a sick Hannah from 12:30 AM until 1:00 AM or so. Could've been worse, so I can't really complain.

2. Had to force Grace to go back to sleep when she woke up at 4:00 AM, wanting to "go downstairs with Daddy", who was getting ready to leave for hunting.

3. Woke up when the alarm went off at 6:00 AM, to send the girls off to daycare.

4. Apparently fell back to sleep and didn't wake up again until 6:40 AM when my mom was downstairs in my home calling for me. [sigh]

5. Threw clothing on the girls and shoved them in my mom's car, half asleep and with bedhead.

6. Sat down with a big ass mug of coffee and pondered all of the bazillion things I had to get done today.

7. Did absolutely nothing productive by noon except check a few files back into our docbase at work.

8. Ran to the vet to pick up Salinger's medicine where I discovered it ONLY comes in pill form. Not a good thing for my cat (or me) lemme tell ya.

9. Was told he has a UTI and a form of E. Coli! WTF? This cat is killing me.

10. Came back home and did nothing productive until 2:00.

11. Decided to try to give the cat his pill.

12. Failed miserably.

13. Called the vet, asking for tips and/or tricks. Was told to try putting peanut butter on it. If that didn't work, was told I may have to take him to their offices twice a day so they could "help me" until he "becomes accepting of it". Um, yeah. NOT gonna happen sweetheart.

14. Tried the peanut butter. Did nothing but frustrate and scare the cat, piss myself off, and get coated in peanut butter.

15. Discovered a nice warm pile of cat vomit on Steve's quilt. [snicker]

16. Threw quilt in the washing machine (along with my peanut butter sweatshirt) to have it cleaned before Steve got home.

17. Moved a bunch of stuff around to different rooms where you can't see it so Steve thought I really dug in and cleaned up today.

18. Spent hours looking for gifts for a gift exchange I'm in and finally succeeded... somewhat.

19. Ordered them. (That's productive, right?)

20. Went to pick up the girls and was told by my mom that Grace wasn't exactly well-behaved today. What? My daughter? Misbehave? NEVER! (Yeah. Right.)

21. Spent 20 minutes trying to get the girls' shoes and coats on to go out to the car, which had been running the entire time to keep it warm since it's butt ass cold outside right now.

22. Finally got them in the car and got them home, taking a different route to search for new Christmas light displays.

23. Had them home a whopping total of 10 minutes when I discovered them in the bathroom with about 30 flushable wipes in the toilet bowl, about to all be flushed at one time.

24. Yelled at them, threw them out of the bathroom, and had to reach in and retrieve the vast majority of wipes before flushing the remaining ones.

25. Washed my hands like it was my job.

26. Found Hannah 15 minutes later, having dumped an entire bottle of water into the play sink on her vanity.

27. Soaked it up best as I could with a large towel. (By the way, I swear I watch my kids. But they seem to go into whatever room I'm not in at the time and wreak havoc.)

28. Tried to cut Salinger's pill into 8 tiny pieces and hide them in tuna balls, lovingly (not) molded by me.

29. Washed hands thoroughly to rid them of the raunchy fish smell.

30. Checked on Salinger 5 minutes later to discover he had eaten every crumb of tuna, but left 8 tiny, tiny pieces of pill in the bottom of the bowl.

31. Doped the girls up with cold medicine and impatiently waited for it to kick in.

32. Discovered at one point, that I'm spotting today. Did some math in my head and realized there's no reason I should be spotting.

33. Then I remembered that for the past 6 days, I've only remembered to take my birth control pill every other day, so I've taken 2 pills every other day for a week. Um yeah. That might do it. (I really do suck at this birth control thing...)

36. Wondered all day if a can of primer can freeze if left outside in the bitter cold. If it can, I think I'm screwed. But only if its useless once it thaws again. LOL!

37. Was totally bummed to see that "Lost" was a rerun tonight. What the hell is up with that?

38. Wasted that precious hour (and a TON of brain cells) watching "Wife Swap" instead. Can I have those 60 minutes back please? (But while we're here, that Ingrid chick was kind of bitchy. Her husband seemed like an asshole. Her kids were very nice.)

39. Couldn't stop laughing when the toothless husband from the redneck family on the show got pissed that the other "wife" had given $10,000 to each kid for their education. He said (and I quote), "I'm kind of pissed she gave so much to the kids for their education. I think mom and dad should've gotten more. I mean, we do more work." Niiiice. Real nice.

40. See why I need that hour of my life back? I told you so.

41. Realized, just now, that I never did take a shower today. And now it's kind of too late because I'd risk waking up other various people that are sleeping (due to our bathroom's location). Damn cat, vet visit, and online shopping. It has made me smelly...

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 12.06.2005)

1. Woke up when my alarm went off at 6:00 to get Grace ready for daycare.

2. Woke up again at 6:35, five minutes before my mom would be leaving to pick her up.

3. Called my mom and told her screw it, Grace would stay home today.

4. Went back to bed.

5. The girls woke me up at 7:00 and was glad I kept Grace home since she had caught Hannah's kick ass cold.

6. Showered and headed to the grocery store, after giving both girls some medicine to help them at least breathe a bit.

7. Had a good time at the grocery store, but bought WAY more stuff than I would've if the girls hadn't been there begging for 10 items in each aisle.

8. Was surprised when both girls fell asleep on the way home from the store.

9. Made mental note to give both girls the same medicine before bedtime tonight.

10. Arrived home to find another UPS man "sculpture" outside my door.

11. Was somewhat annoyed that he had stacked the boxes so high, I could barely reach the top of the stack.

12. Almost sustained a concussion when the top box fell when I was trying to bring them into the house, clunking me on the head.

13. Washed 8 billion dirty dishes in my bathroom.

14. Laughed when Grace sneezed and had a HUGE stream of snot hanging out her nose, almost down to her chin.

15. Wondered what kind of mom makes her kid go look in the mirror to see what a cool snot river she has streaming down her face.

16. Discovered vanilla yogurt Cheerios. Good stuff.

17. Wondered how two kids who are sick and fairly lifeless all day, manage to get a HUGE burst of energy around 7:30 at night, running around like lunatics a half hour before bedtime.

18. Gave the kids another dose of the earlier medicine, hoping it would make them crash.

19. Watched "Amazing Race" and got all hot and bothered over Nick Linz.... Again.

20. Packed the girls lunches for tomorrow and got out their clothing for the morning. Let me assure you, this never happens.

21. Found out I apparently resemble quite a few black people, and apparently, have the same facial features as Condoleeza Rice. Um, great.

22. Got a call from the vet saying Salinger has 2 different infections/bacteria in his urine.

23. Good news is both bacteria can be treated with one antibiotic. Yay. More money will be shelled out to the vet tomorrow. [sigh]

24. Mailed a bunch of Christmas cards, and wrote out a bunch more.

25. Got an invitation for my sister's Christmas party, which happens to be on Steve's birthday this year. Sweet. Now I don't have to worry about what to do that night.

26. Inwardly thanked Hannah for begging at the grocery store when I remember just now that we have cookie dough ice cream in the freezer.

Highlights of the Day (Monday 12.5.2005)

1. Was pleased as shit when the girls "slept in" until almost 7:00 this morning.

2. Turned on the coffee pot and walked back into the living room (not knowing why Steve wouldn't have made a pot before he left for hunting.

3. Went back to check on the coffee a few minutes later and realized I had somehow, mysteriously blown a fuse.

4. Changed a fuse (the old glass kind) for the first time in my life and prayed I wouldn't burn the house down.

5. Realized why Steve hadn't made coffee. Apparently, he'd had the same problem.

6. Immediately started decorating the tree with the girls.

7. Kept moving the ornaments off of the ONE branch that Hannah kept hanging them on.

8. Cringed when Grace dropped one of our very few glass ornaments, shattering it. Not because I was attached to it at all (it was an ugly Pittsburgh Steelers ball, but because I didn't want her stepping on the glass in her bare feet).

9. Laughed when she looked up at me, ready to be yelled at. I hugged her and told her it was OK and she said, "Yeah. We don't like football anyway."

10. Vacuumed up the glass and told her she should only hang the non-breakable ones.

11. She proceeded to drop every single ornament after that (on purpose) and say, "Look Hannah! This kind won't break!"

12. Finished decorating the tree from hell and started on cleaning up the rest of our pure disaster of a house.

13. Was impressed at how well the girls behaved today (for the most part) after being stuck in the house for the second (or third?) day straight.

14. Flipped out on the girls tonight. I don't know what made them think, in the past week, that it's OK to climb and sit on and jump off of the back of the top of the couch. Seriously kids, do you want to have a broken bone for Christmas?

15. Rationed the milk carefully throughout the day since I couldn't drive to get more (long story involving my car) and waiting impatiently for Steve to get home from hunting with more milk.

16. Made snow slushees to keep the girls happy while I showered at like freakin' noon, when I finally got around to it.

17. Was bummed to hear that we're supposed to get more snow tonight, in which case, I'll keep Grace home from school tomorrow and will almost have to take them outside in the god forsaken stuff to cure the cabin fever they're developing.

18. My sister stopped by the bring Grace a German Shepard ornament wearing a Santa hat. Because god knows we don't have enough damn German Shepard stuff in the house already.

19. Wondered how someone who really doesn't like dogs, has more dog paraphernalia and clothing than someone who actually likes the mangy beasts.

20. Got in an argument with Steve when he got home from hunting. Fucker.

21. We said goodnight to each other anyway when he went to bed a few hours later.

22. Almost finished my MIL's birthday gift for Thursday.

23. Went to bed expecting Hannah to wake up at least once during the night, due to the horrendous cold she has. (Probably because of her tumble into the snow at the tree farm. LMAO!)

My Christmas Tree Adventures...

For those of you that aren't on/don't read my mommies boards...

My day yesterday...

7:00 AM: The girls woke us up and we discovered it had snowed 2" - 3" overnight.

7:30 AM: I get the brilliant idea to go to Dunkin' Donuts to grab donuts and a latte. The roads SUCKED and it took me a half hour to get there and back.

8:00 AM: We're chugging coffee and Steve is sitting here waiting for his dad so they can go the taxidermist and drop off their animal hides before we head to the tree farm for a Christmas tree.

9:00 AM: Steve calls his dad asking where the hell he is because the girls are dying to go for the tree. FIL says he'll be here by 9:30.

10:15 AM: FIL finally gets here and they head to the taxidermist with strict orders from me to get their asses home as soon as possible because Hannah needs to nap between 12:00 and 1:00 and we still need to go get the tree.

Noon: Steve gets back home, just as Hannah is starting to get tired.

12:15 PM: Steve says he needs gas in his truck before we go, so we tack another 15 minutes onto the trip.

12:30 PM: Arrive at the tree farm. The girls want to go on the playground (covered with snow mind you) and Steve and I are starving so we grab hot dogs and fries and sit down outside in the cold to eat.

12:45 PM: We finish eating and grab a wagon and saw to head out to cut down a tree. The girls sit in the wagon.

12:50 PM: Wagon tips over while Steve is pulling it. Both girls tumble into the snow. Hannah is screaming and I'm LMAO because they're both just sprawled there in the snow. Steve is telling Hannah to calm down and that she's OK as people look at us.

1:00 PM: Hannah is exhausted and cold and crying to go home. I drag the girls back to the gift shop while Steve stays back to cut down the tree.

1:20 PM: Steve comes into the gift shop to tell us we're ready and I tell the girls to pick an ornament. Hannah chooses a dorky, cheesy pastel wooden Thumper ornament and Grace picks a dog.

2:00 PM: We arrive home with 2 tired kids.

2:30 PM: I finally convince Hannah to take a nap.

2:45 PM: Steve brings the tree into the house and we set it up in its stand.

3:05 PM: Steve insists he needs to straighten the tree out a fraction of an inch and tells me to push the pedal on the base so he can move it. I push the pedal, he yanks the tree and the stand snaps. Tree doesn't fall.

3:20 PM: We find an old metal stand in the attic and attempt to transfer the tree. It's swaying all over the place, we're trying desperately to hang onto it, and Hannah is screaming and sobbing, totally terrified of it falling.

3:21 PM: Grace (god bless her) has taken Hannah in the other room, set her up with some blocks and told her she'd call her when it was safe to come back in the living room.

3:23 PM: We transfer the tree and realize the stand is bent. Steve loses hold of the tree and it comes crashing down onto the floor. Stand is useless.

4:00 PM: (With tree still lying on the floor) We've calmed down and stopped cursing and I say I'll run to WalMart and grab another stand.

4:01 PM: Call in an order for take-out dinner and leave right after telling Steve NOT to let the girls eat b/c I've ordered them food too.

4:15 PM: Arrive at WalMart and grab the very last Christmas tree stand there.

4:30 PM: Swing by the restaurant and grab dinner.

4:32 PM: Walk in the house to see Hannah and Grace sitting on the sunroom floor, pouring their own cereal and milk and shoving it in their face.

4:33 PM: Walk in the living room where Steve is watching TV where I learn he is oblivious to the fact that the girls are making and eating their own food. Thanks dude.

4:35 PM: We all sit down to eat amidst the chaos.

4:45 PM: Girls have finished eating and are running around the tree (still lying on the floor), saying they're running from the dragons.

5:00 PM: Steve and I are re-energized and decide to give the new tree stand a whirl.

5:10 PM: Get the stand in position and see that even screwing in all the screws as far as they will go, will not support the tree.

5:20 PM: Steve runs down to the garage to grab scrap pieces of wood to build out the trunk and get it in the stand.

5:30 PM: We hoist the tree into the stand. Keep in mind that since Steve has once again, chosen the fattest tree he can find, for me to hold the tree by the trunk in the middle, I have to walk about a foot into the tree. Face, neck and stomach are all scratched up by pine needles.

5:45 PM: Steve gets the tree secure and stands back to check it out.

5:50 PM: Steve decides it's crooked (by about 1/4 inch) and simply must be straightened.

5:55 PM: Steve shifts the tree, over tightens the screw and cracks the stand in half. Tree is once again on the floor.

6:10 PM: Using adrenaline and brute force, Steve bends second metal stand back into a hopefully useable shape and we transfer the tree.

6:30 PM: Get tree standing, but not as securely as we'd like. Decide the top needs to be wired to the ceiling for extra support.

7:00 PM: Steve has gathered necessary supplies, I've climbed a rickety ladder to wire the tree and we somehow manage to get it attached to the ceiling (after more scratching of various body parts).

We take a break.

8:20 PM: I've finally convinced Grace we should just decorate the tree the next day when Steve says, "I'm putting the lights on now hon and then you can decorate it." I shoot him a look that could kill.

8:45 PM: Steve is still stringing lights, I've been shocked by a broken bulb, and the girls are jumping around, trying to "help", asking when they can hang ornaments.

8:50 PM: Steve's still working on the lights (and cursing) and Grace has said she'd like to just hang 4 ornaments and then go to bed since she's so tired. THANK YOU GOD!!!

9:15 PM: Steve has finished, the girls have hung a few ornaments and I have both of them sleeping. I begin to drink heavily, curse Christmas and its traditions, and wonder how the hell we're all still alive.

Merry Effin' Christmas.

LMFAO!

Christmas Trees Suck Ass...

Words cannot describe to you the kind of day we had today while attempting to get (and put up) our Christmas tree. But I'm going to try to do it anyway.

Tomorrow.

I'm so freakin' tired right now, I'm falling asleep sitting here. Just wanted to let you know I'm still alive (despite today's events).

Highlights of the Day (Friday 12.02.2005)

1. Had Grace wake me up at 5:30, raring to go.

2. Threatened her with bodily harm if she didn't lie back down and not wake me again until she could at least see some light outside her window.

3. Cursed Janet and Eric for keeping me up so freakin' late last night, talking about stupid hunting. ;)

4. Finally came downstairs (when it wasn't dark... barely) and saw that it was snowing. Um, yeah. Yippee?

5. Breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that none of it was "sticking" to the ground. The last thing I wanted to do today was go outside and play in any snow.

6. Got a bizarre phone call from Boscov's department store, asking for Steve's step-sister, whom, after her father (Steve's stepdad) died a few years ago, we lost touch with and haven't seen in about 2 years. They said they had an "unresolved business matter" to discuss with her.

7. Couldn't help them and asked her why she called here. She said we were "listed as possible relatives." Um... listed where exactly, ma'am? What the hell?

8. Had to laugh when 5 minutes later, she called Steve's business line and left the exact same message on his phone.

9. Invented this really cool story in my head about it where the stepsister has stolen thousands of dollars from Boscov's and is on the run from the law.

10. Admittedly got a little bit of satisfaction over the fact that at least I'm not the only one who gets called by people I owe money to.

11. Was bummed when I decided to order 2 or 3 more frames from Red Envelope for gifts and discovered they've finally sold out. Damn June 2003 Mommies... [grumble grumble....]

12. Refrained from laughing when my mom walked into my house wearing a HUGE bandage taped on her upper lip from out-patient surgery she had this morning to remove some abnormal cells from her upper lip.

13. DID laugh when Hannah refused to kiss her.

14. Realized there was no way in hell she was going to step foot outside her house this entire weekend, which is how long she's supposed to keep the bandage on.

15. Sent Grace off with my sister for a few hours. Quality Aunt Time is good for her, I tell myself. (And um, me.)

16. Just knew that the second I put Hannah down for her nap, my sister would be pulling in the driveway to drop Grace off.

17. I, like usual, was right.

18. Was relieved to have a MUCH better day with the girls today than yesterday. Maybe my little tantrum worked? [sigh]

19. Took Grace to gymnastics in the bitter, nipple chapping cold. (But I didn't want to.)

20. Laughed when Grace came running out to the parents' area about FIVE times during class to tell me she did something right, or got two star stickers, or flipped over by herself...

21. Remembered (like I do every year around this time), why I HATE hunting season. I don't even care that we barely see Steve because I know it's only for three weeks. What annoys me beyond belief is that the second he walks in the door, he's on the phone for hours. Hunting-related calls... business-related calls... taxidermy-related calls... gossip calls... etc. So while he's talking, the girls are getting more and more wound up in anticipation of him hanging up and playing with them, and I can't hear my damn TV show because he talks to loud. Grrrrr....

22. Only one more week... Only one more week... Only one more week...

23. Wrestled mentally with my excitement over getting the Christmas tree this weekend and the dread of having to clear out the area where the tree is going to go (currently where our dining room table resides), freezing our asses off while Steve studies every needle of every tree at the tree farm until he finally decides on one at the farthest corner of the establishment and takes an hour to cut it down, and trying to "redecorate" the tree after Grace and Hannah hang every single ornament at their eye level right in front of them, leaving the rest of the tree bare. Who needs a whole tree anyway? How about that fake ficus in the corner? Or a dead leaf? A dead leaf would be good...

Dear Eric, This is for you...

Here's Steve with a gun identical to his (this is his friend's). They're custom built, cost WAY too much money in my opinion, and is Steve's pride and joy and the envy of all of his hunting buddies.

Steve's stepdad holds several national records in long-distance shooting (but doesn't hunt... LOL!) and custom builds guns on the side.

Steve and his dad and friend sit on one mountain and shoot animals on the other mountain across the river. It's freakin' NUTS if you ask me and I will never understand... ;)

Highlights of the Day (Thursday 12.1.2005)

1. Cannot believe it is December 1st already. Dear lord...

2. Sent the girls off to daycare with Hannah in tears because I hadn't let her put her own coat on. Sorry kid, Grandma's in a hurry.

3. Chugged coffee like it was my job.

4. Got a call at 8:00 AM saying Salinger had given them the urine sample they needed and I could come pick him up. [heavy sigh]

5. Showered and got dressed. (Yay me!)

6. Got a call from Steve at 8:05 AM saying he had just shot a bear 685 yards away and he was sure he got it and he was sure it was dead and he was sure it was his this time.

7. Panicked knowing he's always said that the first bear he ever shot would be a full mount. Yup. A big stuffed dead bear in my living room. I can hardly wait...

8. Ran to WalMart to buy primer, paint rollers, paint trays, and a bunch of stuff I need to make some of my Christmas gifts.

9. Saw a girl I know and ducked down an aisle so she wouldn't see me because I was just not in the mood to "catch up."

10. Went and picked up my big, fat cat and listened to him do that horrible cat whine all the way home.

11. Finally put away three mounds of laundry that's been sitting in baskets for a good two weeks now.

12. Well, most of it... [blush]

13. Started working on my MIL's birthday gift for next week, and I must say, it's turning out really nice.

14. Greeted Steve outside when he pulled in to show me his kill. Took about 8 billion pictures while we waited for my mom to bring the girls home. (Because god forbid our 2 and 4-year-old don't see the carcass of the dead animal you shot today.)

15. Hannah wasn't too pleased with the trophy and Grace didn't want to pose in a picture with it.

16. Bribed Grace with the promise of a present to get in a picture with Daddy since I knew how much it meant to Steve. (And before anyone flames me, she wasn't afraid of it AT ALL. She was just cranky.)

17. Sent Steve off again with his dead animal and corralled the girls inside where Grace promptly reminded me I owed her a present.

18. Gave her one of her Christmas presents (a DVD) in the hopes both girls would sit and watch it, therefore giving me at least an hour of uninterrupted time to get some stuff done.

19. It didn't work.

20. Freaked out at the girls in a way I've never freaked out before. I had seriously reached my breaking point and just couldn't mentally handle it anymore.

21. Walked outside after the "incident" and literally chugged an entire beer to calm down before walking back in the house.

22. Managed to keep myself under control the rest of the night (for the most part).

23. Decided that the chairs in the board room on Apprentice are fugly.

24. Figured out what Steve's Christmas gift will be and have it in the works. YEEHAW!

[And while we're here, I'm tagging Denise with those questions from the other day. Go girl!]

Highlights of the Day (Wednesday 11.30.2005)

1. Sent the girls off to daycare without much incident.

2. Threw on a pair of jeans and ran to get cigarettes. Ahhh... my sweet nicotine.

3. Went to the new Dunkin' Donuts and got a LARGE caramel latte with whipped cream and a glazed donut. It doesn't get much better than that.

4. Sat at the computer this morning, overwhelmed with all of the things I wanted to get done today, and not knowing where to start (and not wanting to start).

5. Took the cat to the vet for another urine sample and blood tests.

6. Saw a guy I know and his wife in the waiting room. They had a 3-month old baby with them and I almost shit my pants when he said they have a 13-month old too. Um, on purpose. ACK!

7. Sat in the damn waiting room for an hour and then they had to keep Salinger anyway because they couldn't get the urine sample they need because he's too damn fat.

8. Was happy to hear though, that the blood tests show he does not have diabetes. This is good, because I assure you, I am the last person that should have a pet with a medical condition that involves work on my part.

9. Left there catless and grabbed BK chicken fries and onion rings on my way home.

10. Sat around waiting for the horrendous toxic gas I get whenever I eat their onion rings.

11. Couldn't stop laughing when a group of us on one of my mommies board practically ordered every damn frame Red Envelope has on sale right now. At last count we were up to 45 of them. There's something seriously wrong with that. And yet, I'm hoping more of them order some so we can hit 50.

12. Didn't do much of anything productive today and don't feel much guilt about it, sadly enough.

13. Wondered if I have serious issues when my damn red dots wouldn't clear. I mean, should little red dots really affect me that much?

14. Finally changed the light bulb in the laundry room. That's right folks, after a good three months of digging for clothing (by touch) in there, I took it upon myself to change the light bulb, since it was obvious Steve wasn't going to be doing it anytime soon.

15. Didn't know whether to laugh or cry when it only took me a total of about 90 seconds. LOL!

16. Was pleased to see that Steve arrived home at a semi-decent hour from hunting tonight.

17. Don't know why I cared since he then spent a good 90 minutes on the phone with various people, telling them "The Story of the Dead Mystery Bear" and how the guys at the weigh station gave them a hard time.

18. Hannah ate all of my Spaghettios AND my meatballs tonight. I give up. Seriously, seriously give up.

19. Ate microwave popcorn instead.

20. Watched Steve take several large deer ticks off of his body after his day in the woods. Um, ewwww!

21. Wondered why I'm so freakin' cold. Like all the time.

22. Mmmmm.... Sawyer.

23. Figure my UPS guy was an artist in another life. Every time he leaves multiple packages outside my door, he stacks them in wonderful "sculptures." Today's sculpture included an old dining room chair, a case of beer stood up on its side (on top of the chair), and four packages arranged in a way that defied gravity on top of the beer. The man is talented.

24. Was a bit disturbed when a local Freecycler posted, requesting a male mannequin. The guy's name was Mike and he didn't say what he wants it for. I'm a bit frightened.

I've been tagged by the Tagging Queen...

10 Random things about me you may not know:

1. I pick my nose daily.
2. I have a birthmark right below my left butt cheek. (In case I'm ever murdered and they need to identify the body, perhaps all of you can keep this little tidbit in mind.)
3. I have this bizarre habit where when I'm reading anything (like a newspaper or book), I have to have one page of it (and it can only be one page) gently resting on top of my left thumb. I've done it since I was a kid and it drives my sister insane.
4. I don't like nearly as many people as I pretend to.
5. I imagine what sex would be like with almost every good-looking guy I see. (Although sometimes I stop at just picturing them naked.)
6. I rarely cut my toenails.
7. I freak out when anyone touches my belly button or pulls on my little toe.
8. I am obsessed with a particular person I dislike greatly and do everything in my power to annoy her, talk about her, and make fun of her with other people who know the way I feel.
9. I clean parts of my house every day. Not because I care if it's clean or not. But because I'm addicted to the smells of cleaning products.
10. "Onomatopoeia" is my favorite word in the English language.

9 Places I've visited:

1. Walt Disney World, Florida
2. Toronto, CANADA
3. Niagara Falls (but I didn't know I was there and never actually saw the Falls.)
4. Ocean City, NJ
5. Maine
6. St. Louis, Missouri
7. New York City
8. Way too many random guys' bedrooms
9. Philadelphia

8 Ways to win my heart:

1. Um, tell me I'm hot? That usually works pretty well. ;)
2. Sing me a Frank Sinatra or James Taylor song.
3. Don't be a pretty boy who takes longer to get ready than I do.
4. Give me/buy me/hand me a beer.
5. Laugh at my jokes.
6. Make me laugh.
7. Don't act like you're better than me (even if you are).
8. Don't tell me to quit smoking.

7 Things I must do before I die:

1. Meet my grandchildren.
2. Organize my house.
3. Be at the major events in my children's lives (weddings, graduations, births of their babies, etc.)
4. Travel out west.
5. Take a gondola ride in Venice.
6. Have a regular weekly coffee date with a good friend, where we bitch about our husbands (or lovers, or whomever we're doing at the time), talk about our kids that have grown and moved on, and gossip about the other old biddies in the neighborhood.
7. Raise a son.

6 Things I'm afraid of:

1. Flying
2. Midgets
3. Knives
4. Heights
5. Drowning
6. Snakes

5 Things I don't like:

1. Bad drivers
2. Snobs
3. Pets
4. Boring bloggers
5. Vegetables

4 Ways to turn me off:

1. Be a bad driver.
2. Be a snob.
3. Be a pet.
4. Be a boring blogger.

3 things I do every day:

1. Get online.
2. Hug and kiss my kids.
3. Pick my nose.

2 things that make me happy:

1. My kids.
2. Steve.

1 Thing that is on my mind right now:

1. I have so much to do tomorrow that I can't even keep it all straight in my head. Fuck.

And I hereby "tag" Janet, Veronica, and Lisa. Go get 'em ladies!

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 11.29.2005)

1. Apparently fell back to sleep after the alarm went off at 6:00 this morning.

2. Woke up at 6:30 and had exactly 10 minutes to get Grace up and dressed, get her lunch packed, and write out the daycare check before my mom came to pick her up.

3. Miraculously managed to do it.

4. Was a little bummed when Hannah woke up only 10 minutes after Grace woke up, not giving me the half hour I wanted to chug some coffee and watch some non-kid TV.

5. Was giddy with excitement when I checked a few of my order statuses online and saw that three things were scheduled to arrive today.

6. Wondered how I was ever going to keep the Bunn coffee maker under wraps until Steve's birthday on December 17th. I....want....to....use.....it....NOW! Ugh.

7. Got a call from Steve saying he shot a bear.

8. Laughed when he said he thinks it was already dead. LMAO! (He thinks it was the one he shot at last week. It sucks though because finding it so much later kind of took the whole thrill out of it. He won't know if it was "his" until he can get the bullet out of it. But regardless, it looks like we'll have a bear rug sometime soon. Um, yay?)

9. Had Steve's insurance guy show up to collect a check this morning. I totally forgot he was coming and answered the door at 10:30 in my red w/ snowflakes PJ pants and a red sequined Christmas jammie top with no bra. Ugh.

10. Stood with my arms crossed the whole time so he wouldn't see my sagging boobs.

11. Am sure it was obvious what I was trying to do.

12. Didn't answer the door when 45 minutes later, the UPS guy knocked. Mostly because I was still unshowered, still braless, and still in my jammies.

13. Realized the UPS guy probably thinks we're white trash. Everytime he drops off a package, he sets them on top of the case of beer we keep out there to keep it cold.

14. Figured the other empty beer box that had blown into the middle of the driveway at some point this morning probably just helped justify his thinking.

15. Was thrilled with the personalized Christmas gifts I ordered from a fantastic website I stumbled upon last week. I really can't wait until Christmas this year!

16. Couldn't stop laughing when Hannah kept saying she looked like a "candy can" in her red and white striped jammies. (She meant candy cane.)

17. Was soooo excited when I flipped on the Cartoon Network and found an Animaniacs Christmas special, complete with Pinky and the Brain. I used to LOVE that show and wondered what the hell happened to it.

18. Was less than enthusiastic when Steve called and left a message while I was in the shower, saying that when he got back to my FIL's house later, he'd call me so the girls and I could come up and see the bear and the buck my FIL had also shot this morning. Yay. Big thrill, lemme tell ya. Ugh.

19. Was glad he left a message so he wouldn't hear in my voice that I really didn't feel like coming to see anything.

20. Found out the co-creator of the Berenstain bears died. Felt guilty admitting I've never liked the Berenstain bears.

21. My feelings were all justified when I read an article about him and found out he used to work with Dr. Seuss. Yup. That would do it. Blech.

22. Sat in my living room and watched a young girl/woman sit in her broken down truck in front of my house, hoping she wouldn't knock on my door, asking to use my phone or something. Not because I was afraid. Just because I didn't feel like being "helpful." I suck.

23. Was relieved when someone else helped her and I didn't need to get involved.

24. Convinced myself that the 20 (or so) mini Reese's Peanut Butter cups that I ate in one sitting really only added up to 2 normal sized ones.

25. Was excited when Grace's blowfish shower head arrived via the mailman. She'll be so excited on Christmas, freaky kid that she is.

26. Took all of the gifts downstairs to hide in the basement and was rather disturbed to discover an unopened box I've never seen before that's a do-it-yourself taxidermy kit. I have NO earthly idea where the thing came from, whose it was/is, or how it came into our possession.

27. Briefly considered wrapping it and giving it to Steve as a Christmas gift.

28. Ended up meeting Steve at my MIL's house (much closer than my FIL's house) to see the dead bear.

29. The girls and I stood there in the POURING down rain, in the dark, looking at a dead bear for 5 minutes by just the light of my car's headlights.

30. It made me wonder how the hell I ended up at this point in my life. LOL!

31. Came home and burned my friggin' finger on the french bread pizza I was getting out of the toaster oven.

32. Sat with an ice pack on it for 45 minutes and it still hurts.

32. Got a voice mail from my used-to-be-evil sister-in-law asking if I wanted her to make reservations for me and the girls (as well as her and her two boys) for breakfast with Santa at a nearby diner in December.

33. Am slightly baffled by this sudden interest in hanging out with me and the girls and was unsure how to respond to the invitation.

34. Laughed when Grace begged for the pretend shaving kit she spied in a toy catalog.

35. Explained that it's for boys that want to pretend to shave like their daddies and she cried and said girls want to shave like their daddies too. Um, you'll be eating those words in a few years kid.

36. Managed to make my last two cigarettes actually be four "smoke breaks" because Steve wasn't home to watch the girls while I ran to the gas station, and there was no way in HELL I was taking them with me to the gas station in the pouring down rain at night.

37. Briefly considered running to the gas station when they "weren't looking" since it's right down the street, but figured I could get arrested for that or something.

38. Had to answer the phone when my SIL called for the second time, and agreed to go along to the Breakfast with Santa gig. This could be good or bad.

39. Hung up and found Hannah and Grace in the bathroom, with wet sleeves. After a few questions and some probing, found out they had been sticking their hands in the toilet. For the love of freaking god... (Ask me again why I drink. I dare you.)

40. Decided that after sending the girls off to daycare tomorrow morning, I'm going to head to the new Dunkin' Donuts that opened up last week and get the biggest damn mocha latte they sell.

41. Had a soaking wet husband walk in the house around 10:00 tonight, fresh from skinning a bear and a deer, and inform me that his buddy is going to be picking up the bear tomorrow morning to take it to the taxidermist, where Steve will pay the guy about $1,000 for a rug. For the love of freakin' god dude. Are you kidding me with this? Dear Lord...

Ooo... some more fun stuff.

Your Blog Should Be Orange

Your writing has a star quality - it's charming, bold, and flamboyant.You write what's on your mind, without fear of embarrassment later.You are one of the most honest bloggers around, and people appreciate your daring persona.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 26% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$327,868

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

You Are 26 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.And while this may not seem big, it can be.It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

What Your Underwear Says About You

You have a lucky pair of underwear. And you wear it more than you should. You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

Your Observation Skills Get A C-

You tend to notice the big things in life...But the details aren't exactly your forte

How Observant Are You?

Your 1920's Name is:

Isabella Tillie

What's" Your 1920's Name?

Highlights of the Day (Monday 11.28.2005)

1. Read my work email last night right before bed and saw I had an email from my project manager, sent on Saturday, saying they wanted an online help file by this morning.

2. Stayed up until 2:00 AM trying to finish it.

3. God bless Grace, she sat on the floor of her bedroom and read books until Hannah woke up, therefore giving me an extra hour of sleep without me even asking her to.

4. Came downstairs with 2 kids in tow, and managed to finish the online help file by 9:00 or so.

5. Got us dressed shortly after that and we all headed to the grocery store and the drug store.

6. Was happy to see they didn't have a repeat performance of yesterday's WalMart adventure, and instead, were very well behaved.

7. Swung by the beer distributor on the way home and grabbed a case of beer in order to not "suffer" as I did last night.

8. Spent the majority of the day browsing paint colors online, trying to decide what friggin' color to paint the kitchen this week.

9. Think I've finally decided. Um, maybe.

10. No matter how many times she says it, I simply can't not laugh when Grace and Hannah both refer to chicken pox as "chicken pops".

11. Made a fantastically delicious meal of chicken in the crock pot.

12. Realized that the only "real" food my kids ate today was a few chicken nuggets, and the rest of their day's diet consisted of curly Cheetos and milk. Yeah. I suck.

13. Gave the girls a bath for the first time in quite a few days. Not on purpose, but I don't bathe them every night in the winter, and I didn't realize how long it had been since the last time they'd had one. [sigh] Who the hell said I could have kids?

14. Realized Hannah is terrified of our inflatable snowman when the girls and I went outside tonight to pick him up (the wind had blown him over) and she was freakin' out. Being the mean mom I am, I kept walking her closer to him, trying to make her not be afraid. It didn't work.

15. Grace on the other hand, was body slamming the poor thing. ((((Snowman))))

16. Felt my heart swell when I walked back inside and found Grace and Hannah sitting in the corner with Grace talking lovingly to Hannah about how it's not real and everything's going to be okay while hugging her. [happy sigh]

17. Was touched when Grace told me she's going to marry me. When I told her she can't really marry me and that most women marry boys, she got very sad, so I just told her OK, she can marry me if she really wants to. She was thrilled.

18. Product recommendations: Swiffer Carpet Flick and Murphey's Oil Soap spray (like a Windex bottle). LOVE both.

19. Steve told me I rock tonight... and meant it. It's amazing what picking up a hoagie for hunting tomorrow can do for a relationship.

20. Am bummed that no new episodes of "Prison Break" are going to happen again until March. March?! Are you freakin' kidding me? [sigh]

21. Finished writing out a good chunk of my Christmas cards and figure I'll have them all done by the end of the week.

22. Got a call from the vet saying Salinger's urine sample was "abnormal" again, and they have to run a bunch more tests. Seriously. This cat is killing me.

Highlights of the Day (Sunday 11.27.2005)

1. Had Grace & Steve wake me up at 6:00 this morning. [grumble grumble]

2. Said goodbye to Steve who was heading out to climb a mountain and look for animals. Or something like that... I don't ask anymore.

3. Got myself and the girls dressed and headed for WalMart at 8:00 this morning, figuring I'd go while all the "good people" were in church.

4. Had my normally well-behaved Hannah act like a child possessed by the devil himself.

5. Managed to refrain from leaving her there when she ran behind the checkout counter as I was paying.

6. Had two girls throw holy tantrums when I said that due to their behavior, no, they absolutely could not ride the Tigger boat ride on our way out.

7. Decided that also taking away their promised McDonald's breakfast would be a bit too harsh as punishment. (But only because I was seriously craving a bacon, egg, & cheese biscuit. Yes, I'm weak.)

8. Came home and actually had a fairly good day after I was done steaming at how they had acted in public.

9. Plugged our inflatable snowman into the new timer I had bought at WalMart that morning, therefore eliminating the risk I was taking of being mauled every night when I went into our pitch black front yard to unplug it. Hey, eight bucks is a small price to pay for my safety.

10. Grudgingly threw away our TV remote and replaced it with a new one. It was a good 5 years, my friend. But having to hold your batteries in with packing tape and needing to push up in exactly the right spot every time we wanted to use you so that the batteries were touching the right way was getting a bit... well... annoying. RIP my little buddy. Steve and I both fought long and hard for you, but I'm afraid we've lost the battle.

11. Took the girls to a cool Christmas lights display at a park down the street from us tonight. Both of them loved it, and Hannah especially had a blast.

12. Was glad to see there were no goose shootings while we were there. (Yes, it's that park.)

13. Accidentally stole an iced tea from the refreshment stand while we were there, but I didn't realize it until later.

14. Ordered a Bunn coffee maker today under the ruse that it's Steve's birthday gift. Truth is, I want it and couldn't justify the price to myself otherwise. I suck. (Or I rock depending on how you look at it.)

15. Watched Steve open and drink our last can of beer, and when I went downstairs to tap myself one from the keg, I had it kick after only spitting out half a cup. ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

16. Cursed Pennsylvania for only selling beer in official "beer stores" and only on certain days and at certain times. [sigh]

Highlights of the Day (11.26.2005)

1. Woke to find we were out of toilet paper.

2. Took the box of tissues into the bathroom in the meantime.

3. Showered first thing and got the girls and I dressed so Steve and I could go pick up our tile as soon as he got home from helping someone pour a floor.

4. Took the girls to my parents' house and left them with just my dad until my mom got home from her haircut appointment.

5. Was a little nervous for him since the girls' behavior can go either way.

6. Laughed when Grace told me she'd like 2 more sisters. Um yeah, kid. That, I don't think is happening.

7. Like I knew he would, Steve changed our tile order a bit and wanted different sized tiles. The guy helping us (whom I later realized was the owner's son) said, while laughing, "I knew as soon as you walked in the other day, that you were one of those "special people" that I'd always remember." Yeah. Thanks dude. LOL!

8. Told him my mom always tells me I'm special too.

9. Told him I'd be back in a few weeks to pick out our back splash tile. I'm not sure if he's really looking forward to it, or if he's dreading it.

10. Guy asked Steve if he'd pour his girlfriend's floor for the sun room she wants to put in at her house.

11. Was a little bummed to hear he has a girlfriend, even though, it really shouldn't matter to me either way.

12. Saw the blonde bitch while I was there and again, had to fight the urge to punch her in the face.

13. Left the tile place loaded up with materials and headed to a kick ass steak house for lunch.

14. Ate a fantastic fillet Mignon with garlic butter and wanted to throw up afterwards because I was so stuffed.

15. Casually mentioned another baby to Steve while at lunch, not even sure if I want another one, and realized that if I do decide I want another one, it probably wouldn't take much to convince Steve to go along with it.

16. Got home at 3:00 and immediately called my mom, and found out that Hannah hadn't napped.

17. Realized she'd probably be miserable tonight, but at the same time, figured I could put her to bed at 7:00, so it wasn't all bad.

18. Picked up the kids and brought them home to find our neighbor zooming around his yard on a 4-wheeler.

19. Laughed as Grace got about 6 rides on the thing, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Faster! Faster!" while Hannah screamed in terror every time the thing got close to her.

20. Realized my kids couldn't be more opposite if they tried.

21. Pried Grace off the thing and brought the girls inside.

22. Laughed for a good hour when after telling Hannah we'd make crafts after we cleaned up, she kept saying, "Can we make crabs now? I wanna make crabs now please!"

23. Am having anxiety attacks over picking a paint color for the walls in the kitchen now that I have to choose and get it painted this week.

24. Decided to give up all attempts to have a clean and clutter-free house until my kids have grown up and moved out.

25. Had Hannah in bed by 7:30 and Grace in bed by 8:10. I freakin' ROCK!

26. Settled in for an evening of "Moving Up," "Trading Spaces," beer, and some raw cookie dough with a good novel for during the commercials. Ahhh...

Hey gang. I'm alive. Just busy as hell...

Thanksgiving was nice. Grace wouldn't sit still at the restaurant (which I had expected), and both girls were demons at my FIL's house and I spent the whole evening yelling at them. But they looked cute. ;)

Since then, we've been busy as hell. Steve sanded all the drywall in the kitchen yesterday. Despite all of his efforts, the fine dust seeped through cracks and my entire friggin' downstairs was covered with it. So while he spent the entire day sanding, I spent the entire day cleaning. What really sucked is that I had just spent hours cleaning before he started sanding, never expecting to have to do it all over again a few hours later. [sigh]

Today we're picking up the tile and hopefully, I'll be getting a coat of primer on everything. Busy, busy, busy!

Highlights of the Day (Wednesday 11.23.3005)

1. Woke up and sent the girls off to daycare. (But not without a fight from Grace.)

2. Got online to check email, while I kept one eye on the clock, knowing I had to leave at 9:15 to get to my 10:15 appointment for my pap smear.

3. Got a call at 7:30 from the vet, saying they had gotten the needed urine sample from Salinger and that I could pick him up.

4. Realized this seriously threw a wrench into my carefully planned schedule, and jumped in the shower and got dressed in record speed.

5. Stopped at WalMart to get the girls some snowboots, since we're supposedly supposed to get 1 to 3 inches of the white stuff tonight and the girls are raring to go out and play in it as soon as there's one flake on the ground.

6. Sped through the McD's drive-thru and inhaled my bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit on the way to the vet.

7. Picked up my stinky assed cat and flew home.

8. Threw the cat upstairs, penned him in the upstairs kitchen, grabbed everything I needed for my errands for the day (granite sample, check from our loan account, a bunch of clothing to return to the mall, my paper to pick up the girls' portraits, etc.), and jumped into the car.

9. On the way to my pap smear, watched a car start to pull out in front of me, but then slammed on the brakes just in time.

10. Was nanoseconds away from flipping off the driver until I saw the driver was an old nun. Slow down, oh holy one! GEEZ!

11. Had my OB/GYN try to convince me during the entire appointment that I really should get knocked up again.

12. For the life of me, couldn't recall ever having a rectal exam during my annual visit, like I did today. Yowsa!

13. Hoped during the entire appointment that my crotch didn't smell and that I wouldn't fart.

14. Missed my turn to go to the tile place after the appointment.

15. Using what I thought was logic, banged a right and figured I'd bang another right at the end of the block and turn onto the street with the tile place from the other direction.

16. Apparently, streets in real cities don't work that way, and I ended up being lost for about 45 minutes and ending up WAY on the other side of the city.

17. Had a bastard in a delivery truck behind me lay on his horn and flip me off because I hadn't just run a redlight! Dude, are you fucking kidding me?

18. Contemplated flipping him off right back, but was afraid I'd get shot.

19. Thanked god yet again that I live in a small hick town.

20. Managed to find the tile place and had chosen a tile and grout in about 20 minutes flat.

21. Saw the bitchy lady who "helped" me last time I was there, and after watching her from afar for a few minutes, decided she really is a bitch, and wasn't just having a bad day the last time I was there.

22. Laughed out loud (and yes, she heard me) when she snagged her pants on a cardboard box near her desk. She didn't think it was quite so funny.

23. Made my way to the mall where I became increasingly annoyed at the other shoppers, ignorant people, and those damn people who try to stop you and sell you something when you walk past their pathetic kiosks where they're selling the latest gadget, gizmo, or beauty product. Death be to the mall kiosk, I say.

24. Grabbed Steve and I jeans at the GAP, but later found out I had switched Steve's waist measurement and inseam measurement around in my head, and I'll have to return them. Dammit.

25. Came home and spent the next 3 or 4 hours intermittently trying to get the dried cat crap out of Salinger's butt fur. This involved baby wipes, wet paper towels, and scissors.

26. Wondered yet again what the benefits of having pets is.

27. Was truly disappointed that Steve couldn't find the bear he thought he shot yesterday. Poor guy.

28. Realized that the mailman and UPS guy are going to hate me over the next week or two, since I have about 20-25 seperate packages (literally) coming to my house.

29. Was guiltily pleased to find out my MIL has a slight touch of the flu, since this means she doesn't feel like cooking a big Thanksgiving dinner, we have an excuse to put off our "Thanksgiving visit" for a day or two, and we can go to my FIL's house without trying to cram a third house into our schedule for the day.

30. Just typed that above and realized I'll now wake up with a horrendous case of the flu because of that whole "karma" thing.

31. Had three separate lightbulbs burn out on me tonight. There has got to be some weird energy in the air or something tonight.

32. OR, someone is trying to kill me and is methodically breaking lights so that no one will be able to witness the crime.

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 11.22.2005)

1. Woke up on time (amazing considering Steve usually wakes me up and he had already left for hunting) using an alarm and got the girls ready for daycare on time.

2. Panicked when I saw my pack of cigarettes sitting on a shelf, in plain view, and tried to nonchalantly stand in front of it while my parents were here picking up the girls this morning, praying to god they didn't see it.

3. Lit one up and had me a good morning smoke as soon as they pulled out of the driveway.

4. Put off going upstairs to check on Salinger. One, because the smell of cat diarrhea was overwhelming up there. And two, because I was afraid he was dead.

5. Called a new vet to see if I could bring him in and was told she isn't accepting new patients.

6. Called the old "animal killer" vet (LOL!) and told them I was bringing him in so they could check him out and get a urine sample.

7. Finished reading my book.

8. Took the cat to the vet to drop him off, where I was told that the smell eminating off of him "smells more like anal gland fluid than regular cat poop." OK lady. First of all, that is way more than I needed to know. And second of all, ewwwwww!

9. Bought a can of super industrial strength cat shit odor remover while I was there.

10. Laughed when the FedEx guy pulled in and dropped off a dog that had been running in the street and jumped in his truck. Yay for the nice FedEx guy. (Who was freakin' HOT I might add!)

11. Came home and scrubbed cat crap out of my carpet upstairs. [sigh]

12. Managed to sneak in a few hours of actual work.

13. Called the OB/GYN to confirm that I do indeed have an appointment for a pap smear tomorrow morning that I apparently scheduled a year ago and have written in my planner.

14. Was told that yes, I do have an appointment. Um, don't you think they should have been calling me to confirm? I mean, do they really think people are going to remember appointments they scheduled a year before? Losers.

15. Watched the first snow flurries of the season start falling around 5 PM tonight. Yay. Not.

16. Got a phone call from Steve saying he definitely hit a bear today, but he doesn't know if he killed the bear. And that he and his dad are going to go scout for it tomorrow to see if they can find it.

17. Got increasingly annoyed at Steve this evening when he talked on the phone for THREE hours straight with all of his hunting buddies. Some of them several times. Because you know, once you hang up with one, you have to call the other three to tell them what the first one said. And then you have call the first one back to tell them what the other three said. I swear to god, he was like a freakin' woman tonight.

18. Managed to somehow miraculously have both girls sleeping by the time "Amazing Race" started at 9:00.

19. However, I'm a bit concerned that Grace fell asleep before I made her go to the potty, which means I could very well get a little midnight bath in bed tonight. [sigh]

20. Have continued finding kick ass deals online in terms of shopping and I really must stop now. No really. I must.

21. Am happy to report I never plugged in the big ass snowman tonight, so I don't have to go outside and risk getting mauled to unplug it.

Highlights of the Day (Monday 11.21.2005)

1. Woke up way earlier than I wanted to. Remember the days we could sleep in until like... nine? Ahhhh....

2. Plopped the girls in front of morning TV, chugged my coffee, and started obsessively checking websites again for Christmas shopping purposes.

3. Finally opened the package I received in the mail on Saturday, but didn't get a chance to open until today. Since I knew they were hand-me-down snow boots from my kick ass friend, and it hasn't snowed yet, I wasn't in a big rush.

4. Listening to Grace whimper and cry and ask why Hannah always gets the packages and she doesn't. (Huh?)

5. Was thrilled to open the box and find, in addition to the boots, 2 adorable little panda bear purses.

6. My pleasure turned to frustration a few minutes later when I had to listen to Grace whine for an hour that we simply had to go shopping somewhere now that she had a purse and a handful of change in it.

7. Realized I needed a loaf of bread and apple juice for the girls' daycare T-Day parties tomorrow anyway, so I humored her and took them "shopping".

8. Was giddy with excitement when I finally clicked the Order button on the Amazon.com website, thereby placing my one order for over 85% of my Christmas shopping.

9. Half chuckled to myself when the girls begged me to give them a bath and I kept saying that no they didn't need one, until I finally gave in and washed 'em up. I despise giving them a bath. Stupid motherly duties... ;)

10. Watched in disbelief and awe when Grace devoured NINE chicken nuggets for dinner tonight. NINE! She's only four for the love of god. I can't eat 4 or 5 without being full. How the hell did the child eat nine? [shaking head]

11. Watched her sister sitting next to her eat a whopping 5 Golden Grahams. With milk though, so I guess it could be worse. [sigh]

12. Found a better deal on one of the girls' Christmas gifts and ordered it a second time from another site.

13. Was pleased as shit when I found out I could cancel those items on my first order through Amazon, as long as they hadn't shipped yet. Yay for Amazon!

14. Speaking of shit... GODDAMN CAT!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

15. In spite of Carpet Fresh-ing, scrubbing, and vacuuming no less than three times in the upstairs room where Salinger was gated (thankfully before starting his bout with diarrhea), I couldn't get the smell out of the air. Son of a b*tch...

16. Had to take a freakin' oil lamp upstairs and try to use it to check for cat crap in the laundry room, where my darling husband has still not changed the lightbulb.

17. Felt sorry for the poor guy despite the mess he made. Poor thing is hurting.

18. Decided to try a new vet tomorrow. Maybe a fresh set of eyes will help.

19. Confirmed my decision when Steve informed me that he's talked to two people who swear our current vet is the reason their pets died. (LOL! Not so sure about that one...)

20. Steve got home from the first day of bear season and I had to listen to him talk to me for an hour about his bear sighting today. Dude, until you learn to tell a story in under an hour and without branching off into 10 different other stories, I've got nothing to say to you. Sorry.

21. Just realized our stupid inflatibe snowman needs to be unplugged again. And everyone else is sleeping. And it's pouring down rain right now. Stupid, stupid inflatible decoration sale!

Highlights of the Day (Sunday 11.20.2005)

1. Sent Grace into Hannah's room this morning when I heard her over the monitor.

2. Laid there, dozing in and out while listening to the two of them have a fantastic conversation, making me smile.

3. Wanted to beat both of them about an hour later when they were bouncing off the walls, trashing the place, and being particularly defiant.

4. Walked into Grace's room just in time to see Hannah take a header off the side of Grace's bed, where she had been jumping.

5. After making sure she was OK, gave her the whole, "See what happens when you don't listen..." speech I swore I'd never give my kids.

6. Took the girls to Country Junction, The World's Largest General Store, where I was thrilled to find all of their huge inflatible yard Christmas thingees for only $30 each.

7. Told the girls to pick one since they've been begging me forever to get one, but I refused to pay the normal $70 price.

8. Found out they were having a little carnival there, and it was nice, so we spent a few hours riding the rides, eating funnel cake, and having a fantastic time.

9. Out of the blue, thought about the old sitcom "Kate & Alli" and remembered how much I used to love that show and how I always thought Kate was so cool! What the hell happened to the chick that played her anyway?

10. Realized that today is Hunting Season Eve, as I watched Steve spend half the day "preparing" for the first day of bear season tomorrow. Yay.

11. Chuckled a bit to myself when I ran to the grocery store (for Steve) and came home to have him tell me the girls had been a bit, um, difficult. Welcome to my world, dude.

12. Ordered some more Christmas gifts online.

13. Made it a personal mission to be completely done Christmas shopping by December 1st. I can do it dammit! I know I can!

14. Got take-out pizza and take-out wings for dinner today. Because we're pigs like that.

15. Was a little annoyed when later I realized that I had shelled out the cash for both of them. That Steve's a sneaky little bastard, lemme tell ya.

16. Am sitting here annoyed that Steve fell asleep in the recliner (big shock), which means I'll have to go outside in the cold and traipse across our entire (dark) front yard to unplug the stupid large inflatible snowman that he decided to put up tonight, even though I suggested we wait until after Thanksgiving.

17. If none of you hear from me tomorrow, it means that whatever creature/psycho/ghost I heard in my front yard last week ravaged me when I went out to unplug the inflatible snowman and the baby snowman on its shoulders.

18. Wondered if Steve would feel guilty if I was ravaged during the unplugging.

19. Remembered that my MIL's birthday is the first week in December and we (read: I) have to go get her a birthday gift before then.

20. Also remembered that Steve's birthday is a week and a half after that and I have to get him a gift too. Stupid December babies.