Sweet, sweet cabinetry...

I truly, truly never thought I'd see the day. And I'm honestly not being overdramatic when I say that. The base cabinets were all placed today. Tomorrow they'll be fastened and all that other good stuff. On Monday, the granite guys come to template for the countertops and the window sill, and then the cabinet guy will come back and install the wall cabinets. We had a blast tonight checking them out after the cabinet guy had them placed. We honestly couldn't even remember what the hell kind of cabinets we ended up ordering. We were like, "Oh, check it out! There are pull-outs in this one!" And "Look at this cute little drawer that will be perfect for spatulas!" LOL! And "Hmmm... what are we going to do with two tall, narrow cookie sheet cabinets?" LOL!


Here's a picture of the front of the island. The center cabinet that bumps out a bit is where the gas stovetop will be. Seating will be along the back and on the right-hand side of the island.

Here's the corner of the room. The two cutouts are for the built in oven and the microwave. The thing I'm most excited about in this corner is the built-in wine rack which isn't installed yet, but will be on the wall right next to the oven/microwave cabinet.

Here's the long wall of cabinets. Right under the window in the cabinet that's bumped out is where the sink will be. The space right next to that is where the dishwasher goes. (Oh my glorious, glorious dishwasher... LOL!) You can't really see it in this picture, but that really tall cabinet at the far end is a pantry cabinet. The refrigerator will go between that and the smaller cabinet on the floor.

And here's a view from the back door, where you come in into the mudroom. Tomorrow, the island will be "wrapped" with white beadboard around the sides and back. That room you see in the back there, which is currently our temporary kitchen, will be our eating area with a table. The tile will continue through right into there.

Monday, January 16, 2006

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker." ~Woody Allen

~ Woke up knowing our cabinets were arriving today. YEEHAW!!

~ Took a shower right away while the girls trashed the upstairs of the house. Again. (Tell me again why I bother?)

~ Got a call from the kitchen designer an hour before I expected the installer. He told me the poor installer hadn't had power since Friday (and therefore hasn't showered since Friday), so he wasn't going to come in today because he had to stay home and try to keep the house fairly warm so his pipes wouldn't freeze.

~ Totally understood, but did offer to let the guy shower here if he wanted to get started. ;)

~ Was pleased enough that the cabinets were still going to be delivered.

~ Laughed my big fat ass off when the girls started running around with Little Swimmers on their heads, and then continued to wear them for a good hour, acting like nothing was unusual about it. (Maybe in their world, there isn't.)

~ Froze our asses off as the cabinet delivery guy carried every freakin' box into the kitchen by himself, meaning our door was wide open for a good 30 - 45 minutes in the 10-degree weather. Brrrr... But they're here now. FINALLY...

~ Wished like hell that Steve and I weren't afraid of flying so we could go see the Pittsburgh game in Denver this weekend. [sigh] Stupid irrational phobias.

~ Enjoyed a visit I got from my dad this afternoon. This is the second time he's swung by and hung out for awhile. It's nice. Maybe his unemployed status isn't so bad after all.

~ Became increasingly annoyed at our neighbor as Steve and I talked and did some research and discovered that he is probably the reason our grout turned out like shit. I won't go into the gory details, but the grout dried WAY lighter than we wanted (or it was supposed to) and is inconsistent in color. All signs point to the neighbor who SWORE he knew what he was doing (and he works for a tile place, so we had no reason not to believe him) and who mixed all of the grout, and actually grouted the entire kitchen with Steve acting as the clean up man behind him. So basically, all blame falls on him in terms of the grouting. We hate it. OK. I don't mind it. Steve, however, hates it. It's supposed to be charcoal gray (almost black) and instead it's light gray.

(Note: The grout doesn't look NEARLY as light in real life as it does in those pictures up above. I'm assuming they just look that light because of the camera flash. However, what you CAN see in that picture, is that the grout is definitely NOT the charcoal gray/almost black that we wanted. Fuck.)

~ Decided it will drive us crazy if we keep it the way it is, so after the base cabinets get installed this week, poor Steve is more likely than not, going to cut out ALL of the exposed grout and regrout the entire floor again. I swear to god, it never ends.

Update: Talked to the fantastic tile dude and he said a grout stain is the way to go, and not to do it until after we tile and grout the sunroom. In a true show of wonderful customer service, he's also calling his rep and seeing if the water in our town is known to be really hard and possibly the reason for the color inconsistency. I truly love this guy. And Steve will be THRILLED to hear he doesn't have to grind out all of the old grout and redo it.

~ Had a Subway Spicy Italian toasted sub for dinner. Yum.

~ Laughed when Hannah tried to shoplift a Tootsie Pop from the gas station and outright told me she was NOT going to pay for the lollipop and that I wasn't allowed to either. (I did.)

~ Was proud that Hannah went all day without an accident. Thatta girl!

~ Was surprised when I got messages (phone AND email) from a guy who saw my resume on Monster.com (which I just posted yesterday) and is contacting me about a technical writing position he's looking to fill. I don't know details or specifics yet and I won't until I call him back tomorrow, but I was rather proud that I've already had some interest shown after only a day. :)

~ Laughed (while shaking my head) as I watched Steve take TWENTY MINUTES to fold his load of underwear tonight. Why so long, you ask? Because even underwear needs to be folded exactly right, be lined up exactly, and be placed on exact piles in his drawers and on his shelves. I swear to god, I'm taking pictures of his clothing tomorrow so you can see what kind of anal retentive freak I live with...

Fun with Fours (Tagged)

Four Jobs I've Had

1. At a little local ice cream shop.
2. At Hardee's on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Mostly I had to make the fried chicken, which was disgusting and greasy and made me smell like a deep fryer. But it tasted damn good and we got to take home all of the leftover chicken and biscuits at the end of the night. (I worked 3-11PM.)
3. At a video store. To this day, this was my favorite job EVER. I can still tell you all the people in town that rent porn and what kind of porn (which is often more important).
4. As a waitress at a local restaurant. This was my second favorite job. I LOVED all the little old men that would come in every night and order a piece of pie and a cup of coffee. [happy sigh]

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over

1. Say Anything
2. Jaws
3. Resevoir Dogs
4. Goodfellas

Four Places I've Lived

1. At home with my parents.
2. At college in the dorms at Elizabethtown College. Oh, the memories...
3. In Phoenixville, in an apartment by myself right next to Valley Forge and King of Prussia, and not far from Philadelphia. Oh, the memories...
4. My first apartment with Steve in Bowmanstown, PA. It was a second floor apartment and it SUCKED taking groceries into the house. LOL!

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch

1. LOST
2. Survivor
3. Amazing Race
4. Grey's Anatomy

Four of My Favorite Books

1. "Catcher in the Rye" by JD Salinger
2. "Saving Graces" by Patricia Gaffney
3. "Tales of a Drama Queen" by Lee Nichols (Because it's so damn funny that I could read it over and over again and still LMAO)
4. "The Stand" by Stephen King (I can't believe I'm admitting that, because I hate that whole genre and I really don't like much of anything else he's written. But something about that book stuck in me big time.)

Four Places I've Been on Vacation

1. Walt Disney World/EPCOT
2. Tallahassee, Florida
3. Atlanta, Georgia
4. Kennebunkport, Maine

Four Websites I Visit Daily

1. My iVillage Mom boards
2. Gmail
3. A billion blogs I read everyday
4. Google

Four of My Favorite Foods

1. Pringles
2. Steak
3. Chocolate
4. Coffee (I know that's technically a drink, but I need large quantities of it to get through a day, so I consider it a large part of my diet.)

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now

1. On my way to Denver to go to the playoff game with Janet on Sunday. [sigh] :(
2. Somewhere warmer?
3. In a bar with all of my best girlfriends, getting drunk, smoking, and causing a ton of trouble.
4. Somewhere alone with Steve, away from all the stresses of real life.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"On a bad day, I have mood swings - but on a good day, I have the whole mood playground." ~Charles Rosenblum

I am officially declaring today as "The Day of the Mood Swings". Dear Lord. We had so many ups and downs today in this house that I'm suffering from motion sickness. I'm really tired, so forgive my lack of detail. But between The Great Grout Fiasco/Finger Pointing Episodes that took place throughout the day, the Steelers game (Oh my GOD, did that game kick ass or what?!), my PMS, the girls going from acting like angels to Satan himself in 2.5 seconds and then back again throughout the day, my mom's cat dying (how come it's never ours?), Hannah going from making it to the potty with no problems, to deciding to pee on the floor three times in one hour, and the whole passive aggressive stance I took with Steve over a stupid salad and a mini-loaf of bread, I'm surprised I'm still sober.



But who cares that Steve is having serious issues with the tile grout (and I'll probably hear about it the rest of my life). Or that I'm unemployed and NEED to find a job in the next few weeks (although days would be better). Or that I refuse to get a full time job outside the house again (which is totally complicating that whole job search thing). Or that I think Steve should just know when I say "no" but really mean "yes". (I mean, isn't that what married couples do, for the love of god...) None of that matters tonight. And I literally mean none of it. Because I just keep telling myself that tomorrow the cabinets are coming and will start to be installed. That's really all that matters in my life right now and I'm not ashamed to admit that...

(Oh, and the wind was still CRAZY today and with the wind chill, it was -7 degrees. Frankly, that pisses me off...)

Saturday, January 14, 2006

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"A tree does not move unless there is wind." ~ Proverb

~~ Slept in a little later than usual since Grace wasn't here.

~~ Became immensely annoyed when Steve got out of the shower and flicked on the overhead light in the bedroom (I was still sleeping), blinding me and waking me up. Fucker.

~~ Watched Steve and the neighbor actually finish the kitchen floor. The tile has been grouted. We are ready for cabinets, my friends.

~~ Was annoyed beyond all belief when my mother-in-law called me right as I was about to eat lunch and said that Grace was up practically all night, and that she had planned to bring her home, but could I please come get her as soon as possible, since her friend was on her way down and her friend smokes in the house and she didn't want Grace around that. Um, excuse me? YOU can't take the 10 minutes (literally) to drive her the 3 miles to our house? Instead, you'll make me leave my nice hot pizza? I wouldn't even have cared if she had given me some freakin' notice. AND, if she really had been up almost all night, I really would've preferred to get her right in the morning so I could try to get her to nap. [grumble... grumble...]

~~ Drove to pick her up dreading the day that I knew would transpire with an exhausted, non-napping 4-year-old.

~~ Became slightly annoyed when Hannah peed in her pants THREE times in one hour simply because she didn't want to stop playing. (Yeah. Yeah. I know that's normal, and NO, I did not act annoyed to her. But I was dammit.)

~~ Cringed as Hannah made me watch that damn "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" again. I can only take so much of that Oompa Loompa song before I feel the need to shove blunt objects into my ears.

~~ Played video games with Grace again. (I think we're both a tad bit addicted.)

~~ Watched Grace have meltdown and meltdown, hour after hour, due to her overtired state. I swear she is not sleeping at my MILs again for awhile. (She does this every flippin' time, but I hate saying no.)

~~ Felt like I was living through the apocalypse when CRAZY hard winds started whipping up out of no where. I'm talking damaging winds that would've easily knocked Hannah to the ground.

~~ Calmed Grace for HOURS because the lights kept dimming (due to the wind) and Grace kept panicking that we were going to lose power.

~~ Almost cried when the cable went out.

~~ Celebrated when the cable came back on 2 or 3 hours later.

~~ Laughed at our lives as Steve kept running outside in crazy ass winds that was blowing the snow literally sideways in the sky so he could grill the chicken we were eating for supper. God damn we're ready for our kitchen.

~~ Got to watch Trading Spaces. It's been quite awhile since I've sat down and watched it.

~~ Decided (again) that Doug Wilson really is freakin' HOT.

~~ Didn't know whether to laugh or cry when five minutes after putting Hannah in her crib for the night and leaving the room, she called me in to tell me she had to go potty. For the love of god child, you peed in your pants THREE TIMES today and didn't care. And now it's bedtime, I just told you you could just pee in your diaper, and you're going to insist I carry you all the way back downstairs to sit on the potty and probably squeeze out two drops. [grumble... grumble...]

~~ Had another slight panic attack about my employment situation (or lack thereof). And yet, I refuse to get another job outside the home. See the conundrum here?

Introducing...

Grace and Hannah who both thought they looked exceptionally cute today (Seriously... they told me that...) because they were wearing some new attire. Grace would like me to show everyone I know this picture of her in her new leotard with matching skirt. My duty is done...

Friday, January 13, 2006

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I like to have friends in the kitchen and make a big mess and use every pot in the kitchen." ~ Ted Allen

Random thoughts and occurances of the day, in no particular order (because I'm tired and can't think straight...

~ Almost bitch slapped the girl working at Blockbuster this morning. She didn't even do anything particularly rude, but she had a total attitude about her and I wanted to harm her.

~ Laughed at Grace who requested (and received) pancakes for every single meal today. Hey, at least she's eating, right?

~ Had one potty accident (Hannah, not me) when she took her nap. That'll teach me to send her to bed with no diaper.

~ Wondered why it is that EVERYONE in the free world decides to call me every Friday evening as I'm trying to get the girls ready and out the door to head to Grace's gymnastics class.

~ Almost crapped, peed, and threw up on myself in excitement when the kitchen guy called and said they're going to start installing our cabinets Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Oh my FREAKIN' GOD! Are you kidding me? I literally can't even express how freakin' thrilled I am.

~ Wondered why it is that although my mother-in-law mentioned it to me FOUR DAYS AGO that she might want Grace to sleep over tonight, she didn't call me until 10 MINUTES before we left for gymnastics, causing me to run around the house like a damn fool, chucking stuff into Grace's suitcase for her to go to my mother-in-law's house for the evening. How about catching a clue, Sweetheart.

~ Pondered how it is that children just know when you're in a hurry and purposely choose those days/moments to move as slowly as possible, causing you to want to rip your fingernails out with a pair of pliers.

~ Had my heart swell when I watched Grace's gymnastics class start to learn their routine for the recital in June. This is her first year and I didn't know what to expect, but oh my god, they are so CUTE! They're dancing, tumbling, doing hand motions, etc. I literally almost teared up (dork that I am).

~ Decided that my children really ARE trying to send me to the mental ward, when they both had all out tantrums at Blockbuster until I would allow them to rent "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (the original one), even though we've watched it on regular TV three times in the past week.

~ Knew for sure that they are when they walked around ALL DAY LONG singing, "I've got a golden ticket..."

~ Wore my new shirt I ordered from Hollister with the gift card from my sister-in-law and was pleasantly surprised when I saw that it makes my boobs look positively fantastic (and rather large, I might add...)

~ Wondered if perhaps my sister-in-law knew I'd look good in their stuff and purposely gave me a gift card from there in an attempt to have us leave our husbands and start a lesbian love affair.
~ Hoped that wasn't the case since even if I was a lesbian, I wouldn't do her because she's too damn preppy and preppy people scare me.

ACK! Almost forgot...

Hannah had another totally accident-free day in regards to her little Potty Training Adventure. YAHOO!

And the daycare teacher ate all of Hannah's crackers at lunch, setting her off into a horrible tantrum, ending in the teacher having to steal chips from another kid to give to Hannah and shut her up. Nice! LMAO!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them." ~ William Clayton

(That quote was chosen specially, in honor of a friend who was confronted with her own dumbness today on more than one occasion.)

~ Sent the girls off to daycare again and sat down with my hot coffee. Seriously... does life get any better than that?

~ Looked at my To Do list for the day and decided there was no way in hell I was going to do half of it. Some days you just know better than to try to productive.

~ Did absolutely nothing but play online until about 11:00.

~ Talked to a friend on the phone and was thrilled to find out she's just as sweet in real life (on the phone at least) as she is on the internet.

~ Got busted smoking a cigarette in my flannel pajamas at noon by my neighbor. Nope. I'm not lazy at all, Faye. I swear.

~ Decided it was my "hint" to get my ass in the shower and like, get dressed or something.

~ Showered, and threw some non-PJs clothing on my body.

~ Ate a disgusting concoction of chow mien noodles and shredded cheese in a bowl with Italian dressing dumped on them.

~ Ate another bowl after I finished the first.

~ Made fun of someone behind their back.

~ Wondered how it is that I can hate catty girls and yet, I've become one.

~ Ate about 5 brownies throughout the day. Oink.

~ Was a little bummed when Steve got home from work around 2:30. Not that I don't love the guy. And not that I don't want to spend time with him. But when he's here, I can't sit in front of computer all day without feeling lazy and without getting "the look", or worse yet, a comment from him.

~ Decided to make the best of it and had fantastic afternoon sex.

~ Realized afterwards that I hadn't laughed even once during "the act." This is a big step for me. I have some serious issues with daytime sex and apparently, I can overcome them if I try hard enough. LOL!

~ I went and got the propane tank for our grill filled.

~ Started marinating the big ass steak we had our sights on for dinner.

~ Went to pick the girls up at my mom's, leaving Steve here, working on the joists around the window in the kitchen.

~ Came home ready to chug a beer (it's amazing what my two children can do to your nerves on the short 4 - 5 mile drive between my mom's house and ours), and found Steve completely pissed off because he had made a stupid, careless mistake while cutting the wood and had wasted hours of work and about $50, and set himself back a day.

~ Laughed (I couldn't help it), when during his tirade at himself, he said, "You know what they say... measure once and cut twice." Um hon? See, that could very well be what your problem was tonight. You kinda got that wrong. I literally almost pissed myself laughing.

~ We all sat down for dinner (in separate rooms, using separate snack trays... sigh) and enjoyed the big ass marinated steak. Mmmm...

~ Played more Scooby Doo video games with Grace, and again, found myself getting annoyed whenever she didn't make it over the hole in the roller coaster track. (She's FOUR, Allison! Get a freakin' grip, will ya? Geez. I... must... seek... therapy...)

~ Put the girls to bed and watched an interesting story on Primetime about a husband who was trying to kill his wife slowly with rat poison. Seriously dude, can't you get any more creative than that? That's pathetic.

~ Ate more Pringles with cream cheese. Mmmmm....

FINALLY, one of these tests that gave me the correct results...

You are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You're adorable, but a little out there. It's alright, you might not have it all, but there are worse.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.” ~ Mae West

~~ Told Hannah she'd be wearing underwear at school today and that if she had to go potty, she should tell her teacher. I sent 4 extra pairs of pants (...and underwear... and socks.... and shoes....). LOL!

~~ Sent both girls off to daycare and sat down with hot coffee, my laptop, and silence. Pure heaven, I tell ya.

~~ Zapped off an email to my old company asking if they wanted their laptop back. I didn't want to ask if they wanted it back, but I HAD to email him to find out if there are any upcoming projects since my unemployment benefits run out in 4 short weeks.

~~ Got an email back saying they were having a box sent to me so I could ship the computer back. [sigh]

~~ Zapped off an email to my old manager asking if her offer to sub-contract through her and her husband's consulting company was still a valid offer. Ugh.

~~ Wondered if I could pull in $500 working two days a week as a waitress. I'm thinking that unless I'm naked, the answer is probably no. Come to think of it, even being naked means the answer is probably no in my case.

~~ Stood in the shower a good 45 minutes. Because I could do that without worrying about 1 or 2 children destroying the bedrooms while I was in there.

~~ Ran to the post office to buy stupid $0.02 stamps and stupid $0.39 stamps because of the stupid rate increase for stupid postage. Stupid crooks. [grumble grumble]

~~ Ran to the insurance office to have them send Certificates of Insurance for Steve's business to random townships requiring this information. Fun, fun, lemme tell ya.

~~ Ran into the grocery store to grab the things we stupidly forgot when we were just all there 3 days ago.

~~ Spent a ridiculously large amount of money and ridiculously few items. When did it become so expensive to like, you know, eat?

~~ Went to Arby's to get curly fries with cheese and a ham & swiss melt. How did I not know they had ham & swiss melts there? I thought they only had those horrid beef and cheddar ones until I saw the commercial for the ham ones on TV the other day. Who knew?

~~ Ran home and ate until I wanted to throw up.

~~ Started a load of laundry.

~~ Gave Salinger his laxative. (See? I CAN remember every day if I try really, really hard.)

~~ Went back upstairs two hours later to put laundry in the dryer and realized I had never added soap to the washer.

~~ Restarted the load of laundry, this time with the appropriate cleansing products.

~~ Pondered the procedures grocery stores use to have their products delivered. I mean, does each seperate brand of food deliver their own products to the store? Because that would be a lot of trucks and a lot of deliveries. Seriously... does anyone know the answer to this, because it's really bothering me.

~~ Updated all of Steve's business files on the computer for the 4th quarter of 2005 and emailed them off to the accountant so she can figure out our quarterly taxes. [sigh]

~~ Obsessively checked Steve's bed all day long, praying Salinger hadn't pissed, shit, or puked on it.

~~ Made fun of people. (Because I'm ignorant like that.)

~~ Deposited the $200.00 check to Steve from Exxon into my account. (Because I'm greedy like that.)

~~ Had a minor breakdown when talking to Steve about what we're going to do when my unemployment benefits run out.

~~ Laughed when in the middle of the conversation, Steve looked at me and said, "What the hell do you do anyway?" Ahhhh... why did a consultant that writes computer software user guides and training manuals marry a computer illiterate concrete worker? One may never know. LMAO!

~~ Dropped off the appropriate tax forms at the accountant's house/office.

~~ Went to pick up the girls at Grandma's and headed for home in the pouring freaking rain and fog.

~~ Was thrilled, impressed, and shocked as shit when I walked in and saw Hannah wearing the exact same outfit she had left in this morning. That's right... my girl didn't have ANY potty accidents today! Holy CRAP!

~~ Was surprised when the girls' bath went rather well. It's amazing how some bathtub crayons can keep two kids from trying to drown each other.

~~ Played Scooby Doo video games with Grace while having to sit on my hands so I wouldn't grab the controller from her hands and start playing it myself. I soooo wanted to get to the next level to see what happens.

~~ Realized I'll probably play it tomorrow when no one else is home.

~~ Made mental note to order more cartridges, but for higher age groups and which will be hidden from all other family members and only brought out when I'm alone.

~~ Watched "Lost", only missing about 10 minutes of it due to a 2-year-old who decided she wanted her Mommy for a little longer than usual before bedtime. Mmmmm.... Sawyer....

~~ Decided that my nightly "snack" of Pringles and cream cheese really must come to an end if I have any intentions of keeping any more dimples from forming on my ass.

~~ Wondered where the hell my Hollister Co. perfume and shirt are. They were supposedly shipped days ago. C'mon people! I need to see what this gift card got me. I mean, I did order this "unisex fragrance" without ever laying nose on it. ;)

~~ Had a brief moment where I longed for my college days and my self-declared "Show Tunes Day", when I would sing EVERYTHING to my roommate like a showtune. Made us laugh until we pissed ourselves every damn time.

~~ Thinking of my roommate made me think of our shared favorite children's book... "Harriett the Spy." I cannot wait until my girls are old enough to read it and enjoy it. If they don't like it, they are officially disowned. :)

I'm not so sure how I feel about this...

LOL!

Your Stipper Song Is

I'm" a Slave 4 U by Britney Spears "I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it." You may seem shy, but you can let your wild side out when you want to!

What Song Should You Strip To?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Do you have any problems, other than that you're unemployed, a moron, and a dork?" ~ John McEnroe

** Sent Grace off to daycare.

** Hannah woke up 5 minutes before Grace left (much earlier than usual) which meant she cried because she wanted to go to school too, and I didn't get my usual hour of "me time" before the little rugrat woke up.

** She spilled milk on her shirt within 5 minutes of waking up and made me take it off.

** Decided she was cold 10 minutes later (understandably) and we went upstairs so she could pick what to wear for the day.

** Came back down and snuggled while watching "Dora the Explorer: Super Babies." (Yes, that's right folks... again.)

** Wanted to poke hot needles into my eyes.

** Was impressed when she went on the potty with no accidents two or three times within the first hour of being awake.

** Decided to shower and asked her several times if she had to potty before we went upstairs. (There's no toilet up there.)

** She said no.

** I jumped into the shower and was standing in there for maybe 10 seconds when Hannah starts jumping up and down, grabbing at her crotch, and yelling, "Potty! Potty! Bring up the potty!" Son of a b*tch...

** Jumped out of the shower, threw on my robe, and ran downstairs (soaking wet and freezing), grabbed the little potty, and ran it back upstairs.

** Practically threw it at Hannah while I quickly jumped in the shower to warm up (but was impressed because she had held it in and we were spared another urine clean up). Go HANNAH!

** Put some laundry away, but when Hannah kept crying to change into every shirt or pair of pants I was putting away, I decided I should probably wait to do it until she was sleeping or just not here.

** Came downstairs and thought of all the things I should be doing.

** Didn't do any of them except vacuum the stairs, which took all of like 2.5 minutes. Because I'm ambitious like that.

** Hannah was wearing only underwear (no pants) and had an accident and didn't make it to the potty.

** I put dry undies on her and said (nicely) that she shouldn't pee in her pants again.

** She copped attitude and said, "I didn't pee in my pants. I only peed in my undies!" and walked away. Um, alrighty then. Can't argue with a kid that's right, now can you?

** Mentally bitch slapped someone again today. I think perhaps I have some internal anger issues.

** Put Hannah down for her nap and ate a big can of Spaghettios with no one else around and got to eat all of my meatballs. [happy sigh]

** Was impressed when Hannah decided to take her nap in her underwear without a diaper and she woke up dry! Yay Hannah!

** Did 4.5 loads of laundry. (The half is because I had to re-run the one with the quilt in it because all of the detergant hadn't been rinsed out of it.)

** Got a call from the vet with Salinger's test results and she said she'd like to take "one last urine sample" to check on something. I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to even bother. It's like, "Lady, the cat can't shit. As far as I'm concerned, that's his biggest problem. Anything else is just an inconvenience for all of us." LOL!

** Had a slight panic attack when my mom internet boards were down for an hour or so this afternoon. They can't do that to me, dammit.

** Made a list of things I have to do tomorrow, and although they're all very small things that won't take long individually, added up, they'll take up most of my day. Yay.

** Got in an argument with Grace because we were playing video games and she wouldn't let me take my turns. Um, how old am I again?

** Just coughed a big loogy (accidentally of course) onto my computer screen. Nice. I'm so freakin' classy...

Highlights of the Day (Monday 1.9.2005)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

If you hear that someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to defend yourself you should say: "He obviously does not know me very well, since there are so many other faults he could have mentioned." ~ Epictetus

** Woke up feeling (fairly) rested and started chugging my usual 1/2 - 3/4 pot of coffee.

** Gave Salinger his laxative within an hour of being awake. (I can assure you that this is a miracle.)

** Had Grace ask me if I could play with her all day today. When I said yes, she said, "So you don't have anything to do on the computer?" Holy frickin' guilt trip, Batman.

** Took deep, deep breaths when I got out of the shower to find that Hannah had had an accident right on Steve's bed while I was making myself smell all pretty and coconutty. Thank GOD for that waterproof cover, and thank GOD little kid urine doesn't smell like cat urine.

** My dad called and said he was coming to visit for a bit (now that he's unemployed and all) since he hadn't seen the girls since Thursday and it was killing him.

** Gave him some checks to deposit at the bank for me when he left so I wouldn't have to put the girls in the car just to go through the bank's drive-thru. Hey, nothing like having your own personal "Errand Boy".

** Felt bad when 10 minutes after he left, the girls convinced me to take them to Blockbuster to get some new movies. No big deal except the bank is in the same parking lot as Blockbuster. Um, sorry Dad.

** Was so, so proud of Hannah when she didn't have an accident in Blockbuster.

** Laughed when I thought to myself that I considered my daughter's first trip out in public without a diaper as a "milestone".

** Swore to myself that if I have to watch "Dora the Explorer: Superbabies" one more fucking time I'm going to scream.

** Swore to myself that if I have to pay for Hannah to RENT the stupid movie one more fucking time, I'm going to kill myself.

** Gave Salinger his second dose of laxative.

** Convinced Hannah to wear a diaper for her nap, even though she fought me tooth and nail. Because if I have to wash one more freakin' sheet due to urine from a living thing, I'm going to hurt someone.

** Had the best time playing video games with Grace while Hannah was napping. I swear, the VSmile VTech system is the best gift I ever could have gotten Grace for Christmas. We have soooo much fun when we play it together.

** Sort of inwardly cringed when Hannah specifically asked me to watch "that shark movie we watched before." Um, you mean JAWS kid? Because we don't have that on video. Honest. I swear."

** Decided that my constant state of denial in every part of my life really isn't healthy.

** Denied I have a problem with denial.

** Had a slight panic attack when I tried to call my mom and some computer voice said that long distance was restricted on the phone. Um, what?

** Didn't care so much when I realized I still had my internet access.

** Did some quick research and realized I had paid towards Steve business phone bill and not our home one last month.

** Steve walked downstairs tonight after doing some paperwork to show me that Exxon had sent him a check for $200 because he had supposedly overpaid on the remaining balance on his credit card bill.

** Convinced him that it was because I accidentally paid online towards his credit card instead of mine in November.

** Did a mental victory arm pump when he told me to keep the check. (FYI: I really do think that's what happened since Steve would NEVER overpay anything and since I swear I made a payment one week and the next week, they called and said my payment was late and they wanted it. Honest. I swear.)

** Ate more crappy food throughout the day. I soooo need a kitchen. I'm tired of microwaveable food. I will never eat another piece of microwaveable food as long as live. (I'm totally lying, but I'm going for drama here.)

** Swore to myself that tomorrow I will put away the four baskets of folded, clean laundry. Honest. I swear...

Got a lot done today...

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face." ~ Johnny Depp

Woke up and the whole fam went grocery shopping. This always proves interesting since Steve's grocery shopping tactics drive me insane. He kept walking off down random aisles, leaving me to push the girls in the cart, trying to find him. I mumbled something about kicking his butt and when we finally saw him at the other end of an aisle, Grace yelled, "Daddy, we're gonna KICK YOUR BUTT!!!" Some people chuckled. I turned 8 shades of red and shushed her loudly. What did she do? Yelled it again. Louder. Oy...

Came home and decided to take the girls outside for a bit. Although it would seem chilly or downright cold to those in warmer climates, to us northeasterners, the 50 degree weather today was "balmy" and I wanted the girls to get some fresh air.

Changed my mind 30 minutes later when I got cold and dragged them back inside, where Steve and I kicked ass on cleaning and reorganizing some parts of the house.

Steve's old employee came over to watch the Steelers game and we ordered hot wings, drank beer, and shook our heads at the two children who kept singing songs about poop and "fluffing" (which is their word for farting). [sigh] They make me so proud.

Put the girls to bed in time to watch Desperate Housewives. Thank GOD all of my shows are starting to show new episodes this week. I was seriously becoming bitter.

So all in all, a fantastic "family day" where no one fought, no one yelled, only a few people cried, and my cat got his first dose of laxative. Life doesn't get much better than that... ;)

And in other news...

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender....all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break." ~ Mitch Hedberg

• Hannah wasn't nearly was whiny today, and in fact, looking back, both girls were complete angels considering "construction" was going on and we were trapped in the house for like the third day in a row.
• Hannah has miraculously become completely potty trained in the past 48 hours (except for nap and bedtime), and has worn underwear for the past two days without a single accident. Sweet!
• We hit the six-week mark since Grace had her ears pierced, so we took out her starter pair and put in the cute gold kitty cat ones she got from Santa (AKA: "Mom") for Christmas. We had no problems and this in itself is hard to believe since we stopped cleaning them after like 2 weeks and I don't even know where the bottle of cleaning solution they give you is in the house. (I suck.)
• I am now on the hunt for puppy dog earrings for her (as per her request). I've found some, but none are 14K gold, which I want. A lot of them are silver or pewter, but since she's had no problems or reaction to the 14K gold, I'd really like to only let her wear those for awhile until we venture into other metals.
• I had the startling revelation today that I only have four weeks left of unemployment and no projects coming up that I'm aware of (although I haven't asked yet). Ummm.... shit? I guess I should get on that, huh?
• I also wondered if I should contact the guy at the office about upcoming projects, because perhaps they really have forgotten I have their laptop and will never ask for it back.
• I decided (just now) to break out a spoon and a jar of Nutella because I'm hungry and that sounds good.
• I laughed when Hannah pooped in the potty and I flushed it and she got very, very sad and said, "But now how are we going to look at it? I wanted to show Daddy." Poor little thing just doesn't understand that poop isn't really something we put in the scrapbook.
• I cleaned the downstairs (sort of), so now we only look like white trash (as opposed to filthy white trash).
• Casually hinted to Steve that it was going to annoy me that our old dishwasher (one we bought not that long ago and still works fine) wasn't going to match any of our new appliances once the kitchen is in. Surprisingly, he agreed we should get a new one. However, I believe he's simply caught up in the euphoria of almost being done with the damn project, and if we do decide to get a new one, I can assure you that for years to come, whenever we have a money disagreement, I'll be told that it's my fault we wasted money on a new dishwasher when our old one worked perfectly fine. (Note: I actually am perfectly fine with keeping the old one until it dies. I would like one that matches the new appliances, but I'm also not that frivilous that I'd insist on getting rid of a perfectly good one. I seriously was just commenting out loud, and was in no way, fishing for a new one.)
• Allowed my children to watch parts of "Jaws" tonight before bed. Steve and I have both seen it so many times that we know all of the scary/bloody parts WAY before they happen, so we knew when to turn the channel. Hey, I can't help it my 4-year-old daughter has a thing for sharks and snakes and other non-cute, non-fuzzy animals.

Progress... Sweet, sweet progress...

Words cannot describe my excitement. Seriously. The tiles are all now laid. In another day or two the grouting can begin and then the cabinets can go in. Happy, happy sigh.

Here are Steve, his employee Chris, and Grace putting in the concrete backer board on Thursday night.

Here are Grace and Steve right before he laid the first tile.

Here's Steve in his Gorton's Fish Stick guy costume. Snort! Poor guy. He was using his dad's (crappy) wet saw to cut the tile and his sleeves and front of his shirt were getting soaked. No big deal normally, but it was really cold today and his sleeves kept freezing. So he put on his rain gear and had at it. LMAO!

Here's the floor, done except for grouting it. The empty space in the center is where the stovetop on our island will go. Oh, and the grout is a charcoal gray that matches the tile, so the lines won't look white like they do in these pictures.

Stop the ride, I wanna get off...

Ack. Busy day today...

1. Woke up felling a little better. The throat didn't hurt this morning... it just felt like it was swollen to three times its normal size.

2. We all came downstairs and before I even finished my first cup of coffee, Hannah was whining and throwing tantrums about something I don't even remember anymore.

3. Kept repeating to myself, "It's only a phase... It's normal for her age... It's only a phase... It's normal for her age..." while taking deep breaths and inhaling as much nicotene as possible.

4. Phone rings at 7:30 AM and it's the vet. Dr. explains that this morning they noticed he was constipated. No SHIT lady (no pun intended). I've been telling you that for MONTHS now and you kept blowing me off.

5. She says they gave him a laxative, but it wasn't working so did she had my permission to put him under so she could get it out.

6. Grudgingly say yes as I see dollar signs behind my eyelids.

7. FIL shows up to help Steve layout a few dry tiles and snap chalk lines so Steve could get started.

8. Start warning the girls that they are NOT allowed to walk in there once Daddy starts laying tile.

9. Hannah has a tantrum. And whines.

10. I ask Hannah if she wants cereal for breakfast and she says, "No. I want a hot dog." Kid, you NEVER eat. If you want a hot dog at 8:00 in the morning, you got it.

11. Make her a hot dog and she eats the whole damn thing.

12. Hannah has a tantrum. And whines.

13. I tell Grace to get out of the kitchen.

14. My kids ask to put in the "Cat in the Hat" movie with Mike Meyers. Are you kidding me? Oompa Loompas one night and Dr. Seuss the next morning?!?! They are sooo plotting to kill me.

15. Hannah has a tantrum. And whines.

16. I tell Grace to get out of the kitchen.

17. Good ol' Mike Meyers entertains them for the duration of the movie while I finally sit down to eat my Soup at Hand microwaveable/drinkable cup of soup.

18. The girls see it and beg for it, passing it back and forth so I get virtually none.

19. Hannah cries for one of her own.

20. I run to the gas station down the street to see if they have any. ANYTHING this kid will eat, I will buy/make/pick up/run for/etc.

21. They don't have any.

22. Hannah has a tantrum. And whines.

23. I tell Grace to get out of the kitchen.

24. I put Hannah down for her nap.

25. I tell Grace to get out of the kitchen.

26. The vet calls, telling me about how Salinger was so blocked up that there was NO way he would've gotten it out on his own, and then listed THREE medicines she was going to send him home with. (I get a mental vision of myself just burning dollar bills on my grill.)

27. Wait for Hannah to wake up so we can go pick up Salinger.

28. Watch Steve lay a few rows of tile.

29. Stare at the floor for a few minutes before pointing out to Steve that something about the tile pattern had gotten messed up at some point.

30. Steve sees where he screwed up and is letting F bombs fly while prying up two rows of (thankfully still wet) tile.

31. Steve curses some more when he can't find the saw blade he NEEDS to cut the larger tile.

32. Figure it's a bad time to point out that it's a good thing I caught his mistake before he laid too many more rows.

33. Wake Hannah up, throw some clothing on her, and strap the girls into the car to go pick up Salinger.

34. Hannah has a tantrum. And whines.

35.Get the damn cat from the vet (which was a 45 minute ordeal) and almost pass out when she tells me my bill is $260+ and makes some joke about it "being an expensive poop." Yeah lady... REAL funny.

36. Drive the cat back home, leave the girls in the car, run in the house, throw the cat upstairs in "his" room, and barracade him in there by putting one babygate on top of the other in the hallway.

37. Get ready to get back in the car and leave for gymnastics when Grace tells me she really has to potty.

38. Unstrap Grace and tell her to run in and go.

39. Hannah starts crying that SHE wants to get out.

40. Unstrap Hannah and walk her in the house for the two seconds it takes Grace to pee.

41. Go back out to the car, strap them in, and head to gymnastics.

42. Leave gymnastics to the sounds of two girls begging and crying for Long John Silver's. Fine. Twist my arm.

43. Come home to find Steve, the neighbor, my father-in-law, and Grace's godfather standing in the kitchen, "working" on the tile.

44. Hannah has a tantrum. And whines.

45. I tell Grace to get out of the kitchen.

46. Salinger (AKA, Houdini) comes walking downstairs and right over all of the newly laid tile. I seriously still have NO idea how he got out.

47. FIL and godfather leave, allowing Steve and the neighbor to get back to work on the tile.

48. Hannah has a tantrum. And whines.

49. I tell Grace AND Hannah to get out of the kitchen.

50. Manage to get the girls settled at 8:00, watching the movie "Annie".

51. Grace keeps asking to watch "Cat in the Hat" instead and Hannah has a tantrum and whines.

52. Steve and I put Salinger back in his "quarantined" area and I put Hannah to bed.

53. As I'm rocking Hannah in her room, Salinger comes strolling in. Seriously dude, HOW the hell are you getting out?

54. Put Salinger back behind the 6-foot tall baby gate wall and come downstairs to get Grace to sleep.

55. Just now, Salinger strolled downstairs and is sitting at my feet. FUCKING HOUDINI guys!

Highlights of the Day (Thursday 01.05.2006)

1. Woke up with my throat so sore I could barely speak. I HATE sore throats more than any other ailment or illness on the planet.

2. Got the girls off to school.

3. Sucked it up and called the vet about Salinger. (See post below for what came of it.)

4. Threw on clothing (pre-shower) and rushed him to the vet's office so I could get back home in time to meet with the electrician that was scheduled to come here at 9:00.

5. Managed to squeeze in a shower before he arrived. Thank god. I'm really not a happy person if I don't get my coffee and my steaming hot shower in the morning.

6. Laughed when the guy got here and said he was bummed I wasn't outside smoking when he got here. (Coincidentally, every single other time he's come, that's where I've been when he pulled in the driveway.)

7. Tried to log into my work email account and was told my login name and password isn't valid. Perhaps they don't have any more projects for me this month like I thought.

8. Figured they probably should've had me return their laptap before cutting me off. LOL!

9. Was excited to see the (temporary) ceiling lights all working when the electrician got done.

10. Had mixed feelings when Steve got home at noon again. Good, because that meant more work on the kitchen and work equals progress. Bad, because well, I like being alone sometimes.

11. Ate too much leftover pizza for lunch and felt like I was going to throw up for about an hour afterwards.

12. Laughed when at one point, I jotted down a few things I had to go pick up and the list said, "Cash, Beer, Cigarettes." Talk about feeling like a redneck.

13. Went and got the white trash goods on the list.

14. Was back a whopping 5 minutes when Steve asked me to go pick up drill bits at the hardware store. Yeah dude, because I didn't just get back.

15. Went and got the stupid drill bits (one of very few personal contributions to the kitchen. I even paid for them... LOL!).

16. Watched Steve and his employee kick ass on the kitchen floor. Mmmm... two hot men doing manual labor in my own home. Can't beat that. Especially when you know you really can get some from one of 'em later that night.

17. Vacuumed the area rug in the living room, which was pretty much the only productive thing I did all day long.

18. Was submerged in UPS Hell half of the day, but I think everything is finally worked out. Stupid bastards.

19. Was annoyed when the hot employee told his girlfriend to come here at like 5:00 when there was no way he and Steve were going to finish before 10:00 PM. (She had to come pick him up.)

20. Was NOT annoyed anymore when I saw how the girls were thrilled to have her here and hung her all night long, as I sat on the couch drinking beer and just chilling with the girlfriend.

21. Ate a huge takeout cheesesteak with extra cheese and pierogies with vinegar for dinner. Oink. I swear if anyone asks me why I've gained a bit of weight this past year, I'm going to point at Steve and tell them it's because he took my kitchen away.

22. Watched the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with the girlfriend and my girls. Although it was a nice trip down memory lane, and the girls really liked it, the Oompa Loompas still freak the shit out of me.

23. Took another little trip down memory lane when I heard "18 and Life" by Skid Row on the radio. I swear, I wanted to feather my hair and put on a pair of tapered jeans. And it still made me feel like a cool bad ass when I sang it at the top of my lungs.

24. Was thrilled when at 9:15, Hannah asked me to put her to bed, despite the sawing, drilling, and hammering still going on in the house.

25. Was ecstatic when Grace fell asleep at 10:00, again, despite the sawing, drilling, and hammering still going on in the house.

26. At this point (11:21 PM), I'll admit, I'm a little tired of the sawing, drilling, and hammering still going on in the house. I'll give Steve credit though... that dude doesn't quit a job until he's done.

27. Contemplated if it would be rude to post this and then go to bed while Steve continues to saw, drill, and hammer in the house. Would it??

Quick Cat Update for My Wonderful Blog Readers...

I called the vet this morning to talk to someone about what to do about Salinger. They said they'll take another urine sample to see if he still has a low-grade bladder infection/UTI. She said some cats can be controlled by being on a preventative antibiotic forever. So I agreed to give it one more shot and he's there now and we're just waiting for him to pee so they can test the sample. Even if the infection is the case and we decide to try to adopt him out, they can tell whomever takes him that he'll be fine as long as he gets his daily antibiotic. [sigh]

So that's where we stand right now. I have NO idea what we'll do yet, regardless of the results, but at least I know there's still a little bit of hope left for the big guy. Thanks for all of your thoughts and hugs so far! I really appreciate them!

My Biggest Pet Peeves (For Today Anyway...)

1. The ridulously stupid poses they put clothing models in. Seriously, WHO the hell stands like that? That's right folks, NO ONE does. (And if they do, there's something seriously wrong with them.)

2. Bras that make women's boobs look torpedo-shaped and hard. Ladies, they don't look natural like that and it ain't flattering. (I'm trying desperately to find a picture of what I mean, but so far, I'm having no luck. I'll keep looking.)

3. Restaurants/delis/etc. that put celery (and other odd additives) in their tuna salad. Not all of us like crunchy things in our tuna salad, and frankly, it makes me want to vomit. If we want something, we'll add it ourselves. Don't ruin it for the rest of us that just want a nice tuna/mayo combo, OK?

4. People that email/blog/post on internet boards/etc. and don't use proper grammar. Now I understand people make mistakes, or aren't sure of something, etc. (myself included). But for the love of god, you should know that sentences start with capital letters and end with periods. And if you don't know that, than you shouldn't even be on a computer. And they're called paragraphs people! When you don't use them, you stuff is virtually impossible to read (and so I just don't).

5. Er... um... people that publish blog entries before they're supposed to. (Like I just did. DOH! Um, anyway...)

6. People who spend their entire lives trying to make other people feel sorry for them. If what you're complaining/bitching/moaning/sad about can be changed, then I don't feel sorry for you. In fact, you annoy me. Do what you gotta do and move on. (Did that sound harsh? Sorry if that sounded harsh. I'm annoyed by unnecessarily needy people.)

7. One-uppers. If I'm telling you something, I don't want to hear about you having a bigger/sadder/harder/more depressing/more dramatic situation than mine. Let me complain/be sad/vent/bitch for the love of god...

8. The little plastic things that hold price tags on clothing, hats, etc. I always pull them to break them and then I'm holding the one end and can't find the other end that fell until like a week later. I've got those damn things scattered all over my house.

9. People that don't use their turn signals. How freakin' hard is it to flip that little lever and let me know which damn way you're turning? Geez!

10. Husbands that don't listen when I tell them that children who don't get to bed on time are more tired the next day. Which means (contrary to popular belief) that they will not be tired and sedate, but instead, will be more hyper and will misbehave more. I realize this is a hard concept for some people to grasp, but could you just PLEASE trust me on this one and work with me? Because if you don't, I will hurt you in places you didn't know existed.

Highlights of the Day (Wednesday 1.4.2005)

1. Stayed up WAY too late again last night commenting on this blog with all you west coasters. Apparently, I'm living in the wrong time zone.

2. Woke up to send BOTH girls off to daycare.

3. Sent them off and sat down with coffee, Good Morning America, and a sigh of relief. Ahhhhh....
4. Used my Hollister Co. gift card online. I still don't know why my sister-in-law thinks I shop there, but I'm flattered she thinks I'm cool enough to pull the stuff off. And um, I should have no problems fitting into that perfume I ordered. Snort!

5. Finally took a shower. Sweet relief for anyone coming within 10 feet of me.

6. Ate a tuna salad sandwich at 10:00 this morning because I wasn't hungry for any "breakfast" food and was craving tuna. (I swear I'm not pregnant again.)

7. Managed to drag my sick as hell ass upstairs and put away the mountains of clean laundry that have piled up over the past week.... Well, most of it... OK, some of it... Just shut up.

8. Was a little bummed when Steve got home from work right after lunchtime. Doesn't he know that Wednesdays and Thursdays are supposed to be my days? When no one is in the house? So I can be lazy and be guilt-free about it? Sheesh.

9. Picked up a few toys to make it look like I had accomplished something.

10. Remembered that we're out of propane for our gas grill so those chicken breasts I was planning on making weren't going to happen and it was too late to throw them into the crock pot.

11. Left to pick up the girls, stopping at the grocery store on the way to grab all sorts of cold/flu crap to knock this thing out of me.

12. Also grabbed a pizza from my favorite pizza place. Screw it. Who needs a kitchen anyway?

13. Mentally bitch slapped someone.

14. Had a spirited conversation about birthmarks with some friends.

15. Brought my hyper children home, gritting my teeth the entire drive telling myself not to yell at them.

16. Had them settled and fairly quiet, watching "Toy Story" and playing games on the computer.

17. Had my idiot husband walk in 30 minutes before their bedtime and start doing some work over in the kitchen. Hey ASS, they are NOT going to go to bed when they can be "helping" Daddy.

18. Wanted to kick Steve's ass when he continued to work on the kitchen as the girls ran around in the room, picking up tools, playing, fighting, and basically squelching all chances of getting them to bed on time.

19. Threatened Steve with bodily harm if he didn't get the hell out of the kitchen, and managed to get the girls to bed "only" 30 minutes after bedtime.

20. Realized that Salinger has sealed his fate when Steve came down after going up to bed, saying he found that Salinger had peed all over his bed again.

21. Kept staring at Salinger, knowing this is probably his last night in this house.

22. Prayed the no kill shelter will take him in, but having little hope since everyone else I know that has ever called there has been told they're full. :(

23. Wish I knew someone who would take him. He's a fantastic pet other than his bathroom "issues". He is hands down, the friendliest, most loveable cat I (or anyone else) has ever seen. Which is what has made this whole thing so hard to deal with. FUCK!

24. Got sick to my stomach wondering how the hell I'm going to tell my 4-year-old that her favorite animal in the entire world isn't going to be here anymore. FUCK again!

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday 1.3.2006)

OK. So Blogspot is acting all funky for me tonight, so I'm going to try to post this via email again and see if it works.

1. Couldn't sleep for shit last night and woke up every hour on the hour all night long and had a good 3 hour straight stretch where sleep wasn't happening.

2. Was somewhat pissed when we woke up and discovered that the big ice/snow storm they had been calling for was nothing more than some standard, non-freezing, run-of-the-mill rain. Normally, no big deal. But I had called my mom the night before and told her not to bother picking Grace up for daycare since the weather was going too be to bad for her to go.

3. Heard Grace telling Hannah excitedly that she was going to school today. Fuuuuuuck.

4. Called my mom at work to find out how the roads had been on her way in. "Just wet," she said. ARG!

5. As she begged me to take her, I weighed the pros and cons of taking her to daycare myself and decided the kid really wanted to go and I really didn't want to have another day like yesterday.

6. Threw on jeans, packed her a quick lunch, and headed off to the daycare 30 miles away (one way).

7. Dropped her off and immediately drove back home the 30 miles, missing her already. (Perhaps I'm bi-polar?)

8. Felt like total shit again (stuffed up, achy, etc.) so I tried to do as little as possible while at the same time looking like I was extremely busy since Steve was home and I don't want him thinking I sit on my fat ass all day while the girls play nicely. ;)

9. Remembered I sent a check to Aetna on Saturday, but still haven't gotten a check from Steve to deposit in my account to cover the Aetna check. Dammit.

10. Made mental note to do that tomorrow.

11. Discussed kitchen options with Steve as we approach the final few steps before the cabinets can go in.

12. Got all excited when Steve brought a few tiles in and we laid out a small sample area on the floor. It's going to look soooo nice and now I want it in like, oh, yesterday.

13. Ate lots of crap food today. Nothing unusual. Just thought I'd throw it in there.

14. Exchanged catty emails with my girl friend about mutual acquaintances. We are so going to Hell...

15. Decided Hell will be more fun anyway and continued the cattiness.

16. Prayed that UPS wouldn't bring my Hanna Andersson shipment today while Steve was home. No need causing any sort of unnecessary "discussions" or anything.

17. Realized (just now) that I never showered today. Damn that Grace making me throw on clothing and drive her to daycare. I honestly totally forgot I hadn't taken one by the time I got home. That's just not nice. (PS: I don't look ANYTHING like the chick in the picture, unfortunately.)

18. Watched Hannah make it to the potty (unprompted) several times today and decided maybe she will be potty trained soon. (Not that I want her to be, but whatever...)

19. Then watched her make a big puddle on the floor right next to the couch.

20. Decided I jinxed it and felt guilty. Mommy's sorry she made you pee on yourself, Hannah!

21. Wondered (for the billionth time) who let me be a mom. ;)

22. Just did a Google search for "shower" to include in this post and "discovered" pictures of an overweight, HAIRY man, sitting naked on the shower floor with his two children. Now that's all fine and dandy (They weren't pornographic at all), but WHY would you post something like that on the effing internet for all the world (literally) to see? What the HELL is wrong with people?

Highlights of the Day (Monday 1.2.2006)

1. Woke up feeling like total crap. Sore throat, achy, head all stuffed up. Great. And I had just been bragging to Steve how I hadn't caught any colds this year. Serves me right...

2. Freaked out at Grace within an hour of being awake. I HATE when she just totally ignores me when I tell her not to do something. Drives me freakin' crazy.

3. Decided that we all had to get out of the house or risk killing each other.

4. Took them to the grocery store without much incident, other than Hannah crying when the lady at the bakery gave her a free cookie that was purple instead of pink. (Pink would've matched her dress.)

5. Next stop was Blockbuster. Again, without incident other than trying to explain to Grace that no, she couldn't rent King Kong because... 1) it's not a kid's movie and 2) it's not out on video.

6. Went next door to Big Lots where we managed to get out of there without buying anything. I don't think that's ever happened before.

7. Grabbed Burger King on the way home. Oink.

8. Came home, popped in a movie, gave them their food, and enjoyed 10 minutes (tops) of peace and quiet.

9. Put Hannah down for her nap and tried desperately to doze off while Grace watched TV.

10. Couldn't because she kept waking me up and asking for things. Damn needy kid. (Joking, people. Joking...)

11. Made crockpot lasagna that actually ended up being pretty good. But I seriously cannot wait for a kitchen...

12. Decided to give the girls a bath early just so they'd have something to do and so I could get it over with.

13. Went upstairs and discovered that Salinger is, once again, constipated and had puked all over Steve's bed.

14. Frantically stripped the bed and threw the quilt in the washing machine, giving the girls strict orders not to tell Daddy or he'd kick the cat's ass (I didn't use those exact words).

15. Gave the girls a bath and (again) freaked out at them when they were acting completely out of control and doing dangerous things. I seriously lost it.

16. Managed to calm all of us down and get them in their PJs and downstairs, where they (sort of) ate supper.

17. Kept checking the clock (and the washing machine) praying I'd get everything washed, dried, and back on the bed before Steve got home.

18. Steve got home from work.

19. Cringed when the first words out of Grace's mouth were, "Hey Daddy. Salinger threw up and pooped on your bed." Son of a bitch!

20. Convinced Steve that there was indeed no poop involved (just puke).

21. Was surprised when he remained calm, but we really do think this may be close to the end for the cat. :(

22. Tried to keep the girls out of the kitchen while Steve put the third coat of paint on the ceiling. Why a third coat, you ask? Good fucking question. Ask Mr. Anal Retentive Boy.

23. Failed to keep the girls out of the kitchen. Yelled. Again. [sigh]

24. Cracked a beer, despite feeling like shit, because I really had reached the end of my rope.

25. Found out they're calling for an ice and snow storm tomorrow and that Grace, will indeed, probably be home again tomorrow. God... help... me... (or them, depending on how you look at it).

26. Followed Salinger around obsessively the rest of the night, making sure he wasn't shitting on anything. I really can't mentally do this anymore. Cats aren't supposed to be this stressful...

27. Kept one eye on the clock at all times tonight, counting the seconds until bedtime and therefore, some silence. Silence really is golden.

28. Finally penned Salinger in the upstairs spare room by fashioning a barrier using an old mattress, a huge Sterlite tub, and a baby gate.

29. Breathed a sigh of relief when all other bodies in the house were fast asleep, allowing me to sit in complete silence, reading my usual blogs, and sipping a beer. Ahhhh....

My Least Favorite Gifts My Children Received for Christmas...

And before you all call me ungrateful and other nasty words, let me say that I appreciate that people love my children and buy them things. But you'd ALL be lying if you said that some gifts you would've preferred to be left unbought.


First we have the LARGE, porcelin dolls that my mother-in-law gave my girls. She kept telling me (before Christmas) how she got each of them these "beautiful big dolls". Um yeah. WTH are a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old supposed to do with such large breakable dolls?

Next is the creepy ass lion/professor/human? thing my mom gave Grace. It's name is Whittley and it moves and talks. You're supposed to play games with him, but he keeps freakin' out and twitching and repeating the same word over, and over, and over... I'm pulling his ear so you can see how stretchy his skin is. [shudder]

And finally, we have the Cat in the Hat movie and pillow my mother-in-law gave Hannah. I realize most people wouldn't mind such a gift. But when my primary goal in life is to keep Dr. Seuss out of my home, I'm not liking these so much. LOL!

Blog Reading Habits?

OK. So I really need to go to bed, but I don't want to "waste" my precious quiet time. So I'm curious...

Do the rest of you have all your "regular" blogs in your Favorites list? And if you do, do you have them in any particular order in the list? Because mine are in alphabetical order and I think that might be weird. LOL!

Five Weird Things About Me (Tagged)

1. I won't eat anything on my plate if it's touched anything else on my plate. It all has to be kept seperate. And I finish one thing before I move on to the next.

2. I hate Dr. Seuss. With a passion normally reserved for serial killers.

3. Whenever I'm reading a book, I must put my right thumb under one page of it and keep it there. When I turn the page, I put my thumb under the next page. It drives my sister insane. I just like the way the paper feels. (Hey, these are supposed to be weird...)

4. I am often convinced that inanimate objects with faces have "feelings". For example, I'll convince myself that the lone teddy bear tossed on the floor by my daughters is really, really sad that he's not in the toy bin with the rest of the animals, and will have to put him there or risk feeling incredibly guilty until I move it.

5. My whole fear of midgets thing. I really should seek therapy...

(Oh, and I realize I didn't tag anyone else. But I think everyone else has already been tagged. So um, feel free to tag yourself. Hell, I "tag" myself every other day or so. LMAO!)

Highlights of the First Day of 2006...

1. Was thrilled when Grace woke up at 7:00 AM, and instead of waking me up, headed downstairs where Daddy was already awake.

2. Was annoyed as all hell when Steve came upstairs 5 minutes later to shower. Dude, you NEVER shower this early on a weekend. And yet, you do today when I have the rare chance to sleep in another 30 minutes or so, but now I have to get up too and go downstairs with Grace. Fucker...

3. Started cleaning up about 20 minutes after waking up because the house was (once again) trashed.

4. Mentally calculated the hours until the girls both go back to daycare this week. My sweet, sweet childfree two days...

5. Got into an argument with Grace at 10:00 AM about a pair of pants. Seriously, my napless-for-two-weeks child, you really need to chill out. When do you go back to daycare again?

6. Managed to get a shower while yelling at the girls to STOP freakin' jumping on the bed while I was in there. Seriously, do they honestly think I can't hear the springs squeaking?

7. Was annoyed when Steve asked me (admittedly nicely) to go to WalMart for him to pick up some stuff he needed. I soooo didn't feel like going.

8. Went anyway since my other option was staying home with our overtired, cabin-fevered, sick-of-each-other, fighting each other to the death children.

9. Came home to hear Steve tell me (exhaustedly) how the girls kept him busy the entire (whopping) hour I was gone, how they kept fighting, how he barely got to see any of the football game because he was in the playroom being "referee" the whole time, etc. Welcome to my world, dude. So next time you ask me why I didn't get the house cleaned while you were at work all day, don't be surprised if I rip your nuts off.

10. Went to my parents' house for dinner, where I pigged out on pork, saurkraut, and mashed potatoes (standard New Year's Day dinner for good luck).

11. Wanted to put both girls up for adoption when they ran around my parents' house acting like crack kids on a supersonic high.

12. Watched Steve make matters worse when he tried to "keep them content" by playing with them. However, since his "playing with them" involves throwing them around, tickling them and rough housing, he really only made things worse.

13. Commented to my parents how perhaps now they could see why I consume alcohol every evening after everyone else is sleeping.

14. Almost laughed (while also fuming) when it took three adults almost 20 minutes to get two young children's shoes and coats on so we could leave.

15. Came home where I had to endure the sounds (and smells) of my husband and my daughter, whom pork and saurkraut apparently has a very socially inacceptable effect on.

16. FINALLY managed to calm the children down and get their asses in bed by 9:00.

17. Recalculated the hours until the girls both go back to daycare this week. My sweet, sweet childfree two days...

18. Enjoyed a large hunk of chocolate fudge cake and a beer while listening to the sweet, sweet silence in the house.

Dear GOD...

The TV is on behind me and I just heard/saw a commercial to order "Urine Gone", a bottle of spray for $19.99 to get rid of urine stains and odors. The kicker? It comes with a free hand-held black light so you can turn off the lights and use the black light to find urine stains. For the love of...

[insert vomiting noises here]

Some Highlights of My Last Day in 2005

1. Walking into the playroom where Hannah was playing with her new AquaDoodle and having her say, "Hey Mom! If you lick this, it turns blue!" Niiiiice.

2. Having Grace give me a 5 minute "lesson" in how if you squeeze a snake's neck over a glass, you can "milk" it and have "milk" come out of its mouth into the glass.

3. After explaining to her that it's not milk, but poisoness venim, she said, "Yeah. That's why you have to wear gloves and goggles. Because if you get touched by it, you'll "get dead." Alrighty then... no more watching Animal Planet with Daddy for awhile...

4. Heard nearby gunshots at midnight. Because, ya know... fireworks would be WAY too dangerous.

5. Wondered who the hell gets stuck cleaning up all that damn confetti in Times Square after everyone goes home.

6. Realized my rubbed off, worn out credit card finally expires this year.

7. Am thrilled we're finally in an even-numbered year. I hate odd numbers.

8. Wondered if I'll ever again be next to anyone awake at midnight on New Year's Eve. Even my damn cats are asleep.

9. Decided that the kids' showerhead we gave Grace for Christmas may be a double-edged sword. She took three showers today (and begged for more), each lasting about 45 minutes. At least she'll be a clean child, right?

10. Laughed my ass off when Hannah threw a diaper at Steve, and said in a rather stern voice, "Dad! Change my diaper!.... NOW!" Way to go kid!

11. Laughed even harder when she called him a dorkus after he was done. Such wonderful, demure daughters I've raised.

12. Looked around and decided that life doesn't really get much better than this...

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!!!

May your 2006 be happy and healthy and filled with wonderful surprises.