Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Things Learned -- Part II

Apparently, it's been a very educational few days for our household. So let's discuss the things my family members and I have learned today, shall we?

~ Do not ask your child if they want to go to "school" (daycare) in the morning, because if you're waking them out of a nighttime-cold-medicine-induced sleep to ask them, chances are, they'll say no. And then you'll have to deal with both little hellions on a day you normally have to deal with one, and you'll want to start chugging alcoholic beverages around 10:00 AM due to their bickering, hitting, yelling, and general crack-induced hyperness. (It has to be crack. Nothing else could make someone act that way.)

~ Playing Hide and Seek is no fun when you're too big to fit anywhere other than 3 hiding spots in the 4 rooms you use to hide in.

~ Playing Hide and Seek is also no fun when the two children you are "seeking" tend to simply "trade" hiding spots every other turn so that every other time you're "it", you're going to find Hannah where Grace was last time, and Grace where Hannah was last time.

~ Don't tell your children you're all going grocery shopping if you have no intention of going until hours later. Because they will drive you up the fucking wall asking you when you're going, and if they can have candy, and if they can get a toy, and if they can get the new Ice Age 2 Kids Cuisine Meals they keep seeing advertised on TV, and...

~ Having your period sucks. (This is not a new revelation. I just thought I'd throw it in here, since every month, I re-learn what a short-tempered, evil bitch I am at this time every month... as does Steve.)

~ Hannah learned today that punching Grace in the face is not a good idea when Grace doesn't feel well to begin with and when Grace is literally twice your size.

~ Grace and Hannah learned today that there is no wrath so great as the wrath of an overtired, WAY stressed out, period-having mom who didn't have enough coffee that morning.

~ Children will inevitably become loudest during the hour of the day when both you and your husband sit down to watch your all-time favorite TV show.

~ Marlboro Lights are much more enjoyable to smoke when you light the correct end.


gb said...

Tough day Allison!! Hopefully things go better for you today!!

EE said...

Wow. I always forget, today is the day BOTH go, right?

It's hilarious playing hide-n-seek w/ my two bc the girl gives up after looking like 3 obvious places and the boy *always* hides under the covers in his bed. LMAO

Alien said...

Yes EE, they both went today. But I have an interview an hour and a half away for a part-time, at-home editing gig. Great, right? Nope. Not when a snow storm just started and the roads are rumored to be HORRIBLE and there are car accidents all over the goddamn place. [sigh] I need a vacation. LOL!

Janet said...

Allison, hide and seek is the best game! I always know where they are so I go do something- laundry, dishes, check the board all while saying, "I wonder where they could be." They sit there giggling and I get stuff done:-) Someday they will realize how bad I am!

EE said...

LOL Janet! I do the same thing!

Awww, Allison, that sucks. Drive safely.

Alien said...

LOL guys! I do that too. Two nights ago, I knew the girls were hiding in the downstairs bathtub behind the shower curtain. I went upstairs, started laundry, was talking to Steve, etc. Then I heard a little voice (Grace's) about 10 minutes later saying, "Mom! Are you coming to find us or WHAT?!" PIMP!

((((Our kids))))

Amber said...

Every freakin' one of these made me laugh!

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