How the Day Went...

* Ignored my children and left them to play on their own, while I alternated between lying on the couch under blankets shivering with the chills, and forcing myself to get some stuff done around the house (empty and load the dishwasher, strip Grace's bed and wash the sheets, etc.).

* Felt guilty about it and allowed them to apply purple creme eye shadow, some sticky hot pink blush, and about 8 layers of fuchsia lipstick to my face while I laid there in a half-comatose state. They finished it off with a sparkly hair clip, a purple Hawaiian lei, and some sunglasses. I was stylin' lemme tell ya.

* Got out of the shower to find Hannah wearing a pair of Steve's boxers. Her head and one arm were through one leg hole, and her other arm was through the other leg hole. She was buck naked otherwise. God...help...me...

* Scored one for my team when Steve stopped home between jobs and it happened to be right after I had started the dishwasher and was in the middle of the one game of Hullabaloo that I had the energy to play with the girls. See Steve? I don't spend all day on the computer. Heh heh heh.

* Hard boiled some eggs. (I'm still not sure why.)

* Put Hannah down for her nap and dozed off on the couch while Grace played with her craft box.

* Figured I should stay awake when Grace woke me, asking for "the really sharp scissors and some good glue."

* Dreaded (all day long) having to take Grace to gymnastics at 5:00, but she missed last week and she really wanted to go this week.

* Was pleasantly surprised when Steve called around 4:30 and asked if I minded if he stopped at his dad's for a bit, or if I wanted him to come right home since he knew I was sick. (This is not something Steve normally does.)

* Told him to go since we were heading to gymnastics, but to be home for when we got back around 6:30.

* Immediately called him back and told him to stop and get me cigarettes since I only had one left and I didn't want to take the girls into the gas station with me. (I know. I know. Cigarettes are not listed on the Top 10 Remedies for Getting Rid of a Killer Cold. Bite me.)

* Watched as Hannah accidentally nailed Grace right in the face with the plastic attachment that goes on our shop vac.

* Watched Grace have several total meltdowns as I was trying to get them ready for gymnastics (only one of which was related to the vacuum smacking incident).

* Took the girls to gymnastics. Yay. Fun.

* Brought them home and kept them outside since it had FINALLY stopped raining and I figured Steve would be home any minute and could take over the outside play.

* Sat on the backporch, half dead, watching the girls fight with each other and get each other soaked in the fairly chilly weather, but I didn't care as long as they were leaving me alone.

* Was pissed I didn't have any cigarettes yet.

* Called Steve at 7:00 (nicely) asking if he was on his way home because I felt like death and the girls were outright refusing to come in the house.

* Was annoyed as all hell when Steve pulled in at 7:30 (see... this is typical Steve), and when asked, told me he forgot my cigarettes.

* Jumped in the car to go the gas station myself, kicking up rocks with my tires so Steve would know how incredibly pissed I was.

* Finally got the kids inside around 8:00, when Steve, Grace & I had a 30-minute long argument about giving Grace a bath. (She needed one. She was sweaty, full of dried snot, and muddy.)

* Got the girls washed and in their jammies and shoved food down their throats so I could just put them the hell to bed.

* Drank some freaky ass herbal tea that Steve made me. He got the ingredients from his dad who got them from his accupuncturist. He swears I'll be all healed in 8 hours. I'm so stuffed up that I can't taste or smell anything. And thank god because even all blocked up, I could tell it was some nasty shit I was drinking. Hurl.

* FINALLY got the girls to sleep and cracked open a beer. Ya know... to get that nasty ass tea taste out of my mouth....

Update: I have NO clue what was in that ass water (tea) that Steve gave me, but I just realized that I'm no longer blocked up and there's not an ounce of snot in my nose. What the hell? Maybe it's kryptonite. If I die tonight, assume that there was a bad reaction btween the tea and my beer. Maybe Steve's trying to kill me?