Friday, April 07, 2006

How the Day Went...

* Ignored my children and left them to play on their own, while I alternated between lying on the couch under blankets shivering with the chills, and forcing myself to get some stuff done around the house (empty and load the dishwasher, strip Grace's bed and wash the sheets, etc.).

* Felt guilty about it and allowed them to apply purple creme eye shadow, some sticky hot pink blush, and about 8 layers of fuchsia lipstick to my face while I laid there in a half-comatose state. They finished it off with a sparkly hair clip, a purple Hawaiian lei, and some sunglasses. I was stylin' lemme tell ya.

* Got out of the shower to find Hannah wearing a pair of Steve's boxers. Her head and one arm were through one leg hole, and her other arm was through the other leg hole. She was buck naked otherwise. God...help...me...

* Scored one for my team when Steve stopped home between jobs and it happened to be right after I had started the dishwasher and was in the middle of the one game of Hullabaloo that I had the energy to play with the girls. See Steve? I don't spend all day on the computer. Heh heh heh.

* Hard boiled some eggs. (I'm still not sure why.)

* Put Hannah down for her nap and dozed off on the couch while Grace played with her craft box.

* Figured I should stay awake when Grace woke me, asking for "the really sharp scissors and some good glue."

* Dreaded (all day long) having to take Grace to gymnastics at 5:00, but she missed last week and she really wanted to go this week.

* Was pleasantly surprised when Steve called around 4:30 and asked if I minded if he stopped at his dad's for a bit, or if I wanted him to come right home since he knew I was sick. (This is not something Steve normally does.)

* Told him to go since we were heading to gymnastics, but to be home for when we got back around 6:30.

* Immediately called him back and told him to stop and get me cigarettes since I only had one left and I didn't want to take the girls into the gas station with me. (I know. I know. Cigarettes are not listed on the Top 10 Remedies for Getting Rid of a Killer Cold. Bite me.)

* Watched as Hannah accidentally nailed Grace right in the face with the plastic attachment that goes on our shop vac.

* Watched Grace have several total meltdowns as I was trying to get them ready for gymnastics (only one of which was related to the vacuum smacking incident).

* Took the girls to gymnastics. Yay. Fun.

* Brought them home and kept them outside since it had FINALLY stopped raining and I figured Steve would be home any minute and could take over the outside play.

* Sat on the backporch, half dead, watching the girls fight with each other and get each other soaked in the fairly chilly weather, but I didn't care as long as they were leaving me alone.

* Was pissed I didn't have any cigarettes yet.

* Called Steve at 7:00 (nicely) asking if he was on his way home because I felt like death and the girls were outright refusing to come in the house.

* Was annoyed as all hell when Steve pulled in at 7:30 (see... this is typical Steve), and when asked, told me he forgot my cigarettes.

* Jumped in the car to go the gas station myself, kicking up rocks with my tires so Steve would know how incredibly pissed I was.

* Finally got the kids inside around 8:00, when Steve, Grace & I had a 30-minute long argument about giving Grace a bath. (She needed one. She was sweaty, full of dried snot, and muddy.)

* Got the girls washed and in their jammies and shoved food down their throats so I could just put them the hell to bed.

* Drank some freaky ass herbal tea that Steve made me. He got the ingredients from his dad who got them from his accupuncturist. He swears I'll be all healed in 8 hours. I'm so stuffed up that I can't taste or smell anything. And thank god because even all blocked up, I could tell it was some nasty shit I was drinking. Hurl.

* FINALLY got the girls to sleep and cracked open a beer. Ya know... to get that nasty ass tea taste out of my mouth....


Update: I have NO clue what was in that ass water (tea) that Steve gave me, but I just realized that I'm no longer blocked up and there's not an ounce of snot in my nose. What the hell? Maybe it's kryptonite. If I die tonight, assume that there was a bad reaction btween the tea and my beer. Maybe Steve's trying to kill me?

16 comments:

PugAngel said...

Can you get the ingredients from Steve for that tea and post it? It is allergy season here in Dallas and I would kill for something that could do that for me :)

PugAngel said...

Oh yeah...sorry about my rude ass. Let me say "Please and Thank you :)" Just so you know...I love your blog you make me laugh so damn hard.

Alien said...

SURE! I'll ask him in the morning (he's sleeping). The real test (for me) will be in the morning. Steve said his dad was all ready to go to the doctor b/c he could barely function with his flu/cold. But he drank the tea, two hours later he was up and functioning, and the next morning, you never would've known he was sick. His girlfriend backs it up. Hmmm...

Like I said, it's definitely cleared me up a lot tonight, but if I feel all crappy and stuffed up again in the morning, I'm not drinking it again. LOL!

(And remind me if I forget!)

Alien said...

Oh, and I didn't notice you didn't say please or thank you, so apparently, I'm rude too. LOL!

And I just went out in the kitchen to check out the magic potion ingredients. There are a few teabags for green tea and a bottle with funky Chinese symbols on it and a weird English name. So I'm reading the bottle and it says, "Take 8 pills daily". I opened it up, and there aren't pills in it. Just a weird tan powder. I have NO idea what it is. Maybe Steve's giving me coke? LOL! (I'll ask him tomorrow if he knows what it is. If not, I'll ask my FIL.)

EE said...

What?! No pictures of you and your make over?! I'm so disappointed.

Well even if Steve was giving you crack, at least it was GOOD crack and you are feeling better! (Maybe it was the beer though? ;)

PugAngel said...

LOL..yeah maybe he is hoping by slipping you coke, he will get wild funky monkey love from you.
I was just watching the news here...funniest story "Dallas PD Officer Faget was suspended for using racial slurs and vulgar language with a suspect" With a name like that, you would think that would be the last thing he would be charged with.

Alien said...

Actually EE, I DID take a picture. But I don't feel like uploading it right now. (It's a royal PITA process and I have to unhook my DSL wire, hook in my camera cable, close IE, etc. It's just not worth it tonight. LOL!)

And Pugangel... OMG! I'm DYING about the Faget cop! PIMP! (I bet he pronounces it all French. Like "Fa-shay" or something. LOL!)

EE said...

Oh cool, so I can look forward to it ANOTHER night. LOL

PugAngel said...

Yeah but the newscaster was pronouncing it "Faggot" LOL...funny shit I tell ya :)

Alien said...

LOL! Wouldn't it be funny (in a twist of fate sort of way) if now the newscaster got fired because viewers saw it and accused him of gay bashing? LOL!

pugangel said...

Well I do live in Dallas.....LOL...they go into hotels and bust people who are drunk in the hotel bar that are staying in the hotel. You know, what happens in texas, takes and extra $2,000 bond to get out of the TX. So anything is possible

Alien said...

LOL Pugangel! (And seriously, does everyone live in Texas? Because it seems like everyone I know does and I'm wondering what the appeal is. LOL!

mama_tulip said...

I can't wait to see this picture.

pugangel said...

Well I grew up in Western PA, and well, I love trees and deer and men who hunt(LOL). Seems all my boyfriends in PA all were hunters :) But Dallas has a rockin economy, you can live in the burbs and be close enough to the city, there is lots to do. But it does get hotter than fucking hell here in the summer :) As for the rest of the state (anything outside of Dallas/Ft.Worth,San Antonio,and Austin) there are a bunch of cows and flat boring landscape. The people here pretty much are fake (with a few exceptions). I miss the brashness of my fellow yankees :)

Alien said...

EVERYONE here in PA hunts. LOL! And I knew I could recognize a fellow Yankee. LOL! My entire view of Texas changed when that Dallas reality show was on TLC. Up until then, I thought Texas was all cowboys. But then I saw that show and was blown away by all the big hair and gaudy jewelry. LOL!

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