Thursday, September 22, 2005

Highlights of the Day (Thursday)


1) Sent both girls off to school again, allowing me to enjoy a nice morning of steaming hot coffee and uninterrupted Good Morning America viewing time. Ahhh...

2) Realized that unlike yesterday, I had to, ya know, work or something.

3) Cursed my bank yet again. Stupid goddamn banks!

4) Had a crazy lady approach me in my driveway and ask to bum a cigarette. Based on her appearance, her attire, and some of the rambling comments she made before she limped away down the road again, I've decided she was either half off her rocker or an escaped con. Perhaps both.

5) Locked my door upon re-entering my home after the crazy convict lady left.

6) Answered the door for the UPS guy (for the second day in a row) unshowered, wearing no bra, no makeup, and my hair sticking out in every which direction.

7) Realized that wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't 3:00 in the afternoon both times and the guy hadn't once been married to Steve's cousin, which means I know him rather well. [sigh]

8) Had Grace tell me she wants to take karate lessons. Um yeah, I once considered that for her too but realized she'd just end up kicking ALL of our asses and I'm just not in the mood.

9) Upon realizing that Steve has convinced every single person he knows (other than me) to start drinking vinegar everyday to cleanse their digestive track, decided that perhaps he should start some weird cult where we ask everyone to send in donations to our "church" so we can better equip ourselves to rid the world of unclean assholes.

10) Told Steve that if he didn't cut down on his vinegar intake and stop filling our entire home with his toxic ass fumes, I'm going to divorce him.

11) I'm not kidding.

18 comments:

Cara Maria McDonough said...

Just randomly checking out blogs tonight, while watching uninteresting late-night tv and having a glass of wine, and came across some CRAZY stuff - until this - which is hysterical. Seriously? Vinegar??

Alien said...

Yes. Vinegar. [sigh] Supposedly it's some "European thing" and it really does make you um, go... Several times a day in fact. But the gas in between the "go times" really isn't worth it in my opinion. LOL!

Veronica said...

OMG!!! I think crazy escaped con lady was at WalMart here today trying to to cash a bogus money order. She asked me for a ride home, I lied and told her I had walked. ;)

Alien said...

LOL! Maybe it WAS her. Did she have a man's haircut and was she wearing jeans rolled up to her knees and a hooded flannel coat (in 80-degree weather mind you) with the hood up? LMAO!

Lisa said...

Is it apple cider vinegar or just plain vinegar? Either way, he can buy vinegar tablets that get the job done without the undesirable side effects. I got them for Jason at GNC.

Alien said...

Apple cider. And I told him about the pills. He said they're for wusses. [rolling eyes]

mama_tulip said...

I think I've told you that Dave's friend drinks vinegar straight. He's European. He highly recommends it. Vinegar is his "cure-all". Freak.

Melissa said...

LMAO @ Steve

EE said...

Grace would ROCK at karate!

Seriously LOL at the whole vinegar and Steve thing...I have nothing more to say about that, except I'm thanking god he hasn't talked to MY husband recently. LMAO!

Alien said...

Yes Katherine, you told me. And I told Steve which is why he now tells everyone "It's a Eurpoean thing. All the people in Europe do it," as if he knows what the hell he's talking about. LMFAO!

EE, she WOULD rock at karate. But the thought of it scares me, frankly. LOL!

mama_tulip said...

LOL at Steve. I just snorted coffee out of my nose.

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