Friday, May 12, 2006

How about a normal day? A normal day would be really nice...

Well now, let's see. In the span of the last 24 hours...

** Hannah woke up screaming at 1 AM and I ended up sleeping with both kids for the remainder of the night. When I realized my choices were either to stand over Hannah's crib, half asleep, and pat her for an hour, or throw her in bed with Grace and I, I chose option B and called it a night.

** Grace got into my makeup while I was in the shower this morning and put some lipstick on. The problem is that it's that really permanent, long wearing "stain" type lipstick and it's still around her entire mouth. Nice. I absolutely, positively could NOT get it off.

** While outside this morning, Grace hit a golf ball with her golf club, which somehow managed, at top speed, to find me 40 feet away and make a direct bullseye connection with my ankle bone (that little bulbous part that sticks out). I dropped to the ground, writhing in pain, and literally half crying. Son of a bitch! Er, um... I mean great shot Grace... [grumble grumble] Really great shot...

** Came inside this afternoon and felt something tickling the side of me knee, under my jeans. Immediately thought TICK! and hightailed it to the bathroom to do some investigative work. After taking off my pants, shaking my pants, and finally turning both pants legs inside out, out dropped a fucking caterpillar. [shudder]

** Realized how lucky I was for not just smashing my pantleg with my hand when I felt something tickling it. Those little fuckers have fluorescent green guts. How gross would that have been?

** Also realized what a fucking wuss I am when I made Grace pick it off the bathroom floor and take it outside. Ick. (Maybe I'm more girly than I thought?)

** Tried every household product I could get my hands on, trying to get the damn lipstick off of Grace's face right before gymnastics class tonight until I finally used baby oil, which took it off immediately. Um, duh.

** Seriously considered ripping Steve's dick off tonight, but decided that not speaking to him for the next few days would give me much more personal satisfaction (because I'm mature like that). Dickface.

9 comments:

Amber said...

I am thinking you have a serious little athlete in that little Grace of yours!

Yes, you are more girly than you thought! HA!

:)

Chelle Y. said...

EEEWWW, I hate catipillars! They make my skin crawl!

EE said...

ICK! The caterpiller in the pants thing would most definately have wigged me out. And I don't mind them. Just NOT in my pants!

LOL about the lipstick. That has happened to me. Another thing that has happened was when C decided to use PERMANENT marker for lipstick. Last wk. THAT STUFF, doesn't come off.

And YAY us, husband and I aren't speaking either....

Kim said...

Life is always so interesting at your house. LOL!

(((Alien's ankle)))

Mary said...

sounds like a great day! lol! Atleast kept you busy, no?

So if the ball hit the inside of your ankle it hit your medial malleolus, if it hit the outside, it was your lateral malleolus. We x-ray alot of those ;) Usually when you break your ankle, it's the lateral one, which is the end of your fibula.

Hope you have a much better weekend!!!

mama_tulip said...

God. I never would have thought of Baby Oil.

Alien said...

Amber: She IS very athletic. I think it's very, very cool. I just don't want to get hurt by her natural abilities. LOL!

Chelle: I was freaked out. And secretly pleased when we went outside later and Hannah started stomping on all of them (even though Grace was crying).

EE: LOL! We're good now. He left a note this morning apologizing. :)

Kim: Um yeah. "Interesting" is a nice way of saying it. LOL!

Mary: LOL! It was my lateral malleolus. Ouch.

Katherine: The ONLY reason I thought of baby oil is because I know lots of people use that as eye makeup remover. I figured if it worked on mascara, it might work on lipstick. LOL!

StillWater said...

Wow! Semi permanent make up has alot of uses! But did you know that a woman consumes over 4 to 9 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime! Here is the link that I found that shows all of the research:

http://www.lipink.com/lipstick_wax_s/6510.htm&Click=33586

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot! » » »