Well now, let's see. In the span of the last 24 hours...
** Hannah woke up screaming at 1 AM and I ended up sleeping with both kids for the remainder of the night. When I realized my choices were either to stand over Hannah's crib, half asleep, and pat her for an hour, or throw her in bed with Grace and I, I chose option B and called it a night.
** Grace got into my makeup while I was in the shower this morning and put some lipstick on. The problem is that it's that really permanent, long wearing "stain" type lipstick and it's still around her entire mouth. Nice. I absolutely, positively could NOT get it off.
** While outside this morning, Grace hit a golf ball with her golf club, which somehow managed, at top speed, to find me 40 feet away and make a direct bullseye connection with my ankle bone (that little bulbous part that sticks out). I dropped to the ground, writhing in pain, and literally half crying. Son of a bitch! Er, um... I mean great shot Grace... [grumble grumble] Really great shot...
** Came inside this afternoon and felt something tickling the side of me knee, under my jeans. Immediately thought TICK! and hightailed it to the bathroom to do some investigative work. After taking off my pants, shaking my pants, and finally turning both pants legs inside out, out dropped a fucking caterpillar. [shudder]
** Realized how lucky I was for not just smashing my pantleg with my hand when I felt something tickling it. Those little fuckers have fluorescent green guts. How gross would that have been?
** Also realized what a fucking wuss I am when I made Grace pick it off the bathroom floor and take it outside. Ick. (Maybe I'm more girly than I thought?)
** Tried every household product I could get my hands on, trying to get the damn lipstick off of Grace's face right before gymnastics class tonight until I finally used baby oil, which took it off immediately. Um, duh.
** Seriously considered ripping Steve's dick off tonight, but decided that not speaking to him for the next few days would give me much more personal satisfaction (because I'm mature like that). Dickface.