Thursday, July 17, 2008

And here we go again…

Random, useless thoughts by Allison. Don’t lie… you know you love it.

* I have a “thing” with names with a capital letter in the middle of them. I have nothing against the person. Just their names.  For example, MaryAnn. Why the capital "A"? Why not just Maryann? Or Mary Ann? Capital letters weren't meant to be in the middle of a word. Just at the beginning. So from now on, please refer to me as AlliSon. Or AliEn. The choice is yours. But if you don't acknowledge me in that way, I won't respond. Starting... NOW!

* They should make Garanimals for adults. You know... that line of children's clothing where there are different animals on the tags. Kids can just pick any articles of clothing with the same animals and they match. I'm a fashion idiot. I wear jeans, shorts, and tees, and often don't know if those match. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just wake up and grab 2 giraffes and know I was good to go? And hell, they could even make it more adult by using pictures of booze instead of animals... "Well, I guess I'll wear the strawberry daiquiri today." Or "I'm feeling like wearing the six packs of beer to work this morning." I need to take this idea to some investors.

* You know your life is in the shitter when you watch "Celebrity Circus". Seriously. I need to get one. (A life I mean. I already have a shitter.)

* Just when I thought our weekends this summer were finally calming down and going unplanned, I find out all sorts of other events we're supposed to be at, visitors that are flying in, etc. WTH? For the love of god, can I have ONE weekend where I've got nothing to do except sit on my fat ass on the back porch and watch the kids play in the yard?

* I have a slight personal dilemma going on at work. It's totally self-induced, but something's bugging me and I have no idea how to approach the guy that my issue is with, since he scares the living shit out of me. Sigh. It's not a big deal to anyone else at all. And even HE doesn't realize what he's doing, I'm sure. But it's bothering me.

* I just re-read that last one and realized it makes it sound like I'm being sexually harassed or something. LOL! It's nothing even remotely like that. It just involves me creating a brochure for my company that this guy wants based on another brochure he likes (from another company). I have no problem gathering inspiration, ideas, etc. from someone else's work and making them my own in my own sort of way. But this guy pretty much wants me to copy this brochure so that it's practically identical. I don't think the guy has any CLUE that it's not only illegal (I assume), but that it's a complete slap in the face to the person that took the time to design the other company's brochure. I have a real problem with that. So now I have to figure out how to approach it. Dammit.

* Ok. You REALLY know you need a life when the winner of celebrity circus was just announced and you jumped out of your chair with your fist in the air, yelling, "WOOHOO!" [shaking head] I need help. Serious, serious help.

* Since Kelly commented on my post from yesterday, I have a serious paranoia that all of my readers wear visors and I just offended every one of them. To make up for it, I'll go buy one tomorrow and wear it every where I go. Work... the grocery store... the gas station... parties... the zoo on Saturday... even to bed. Please forgive me readers. Please?

* It feels weird when I post something here and don't have a photo to add. But tonight, I really don't have one to add. I'm uncomfortable with that, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it.

* I'm hungry. But it's 11:15, and pigging out right now doesn't seem like the smartest move. But I'm hungry dammit.

* Why is it that no matter how many things I get done, my "To Do" list just keeps getting bigger? I'm kind of sick of being a grown-up.

* I totally forgot that I NEED to make the pig roast invitations this week and get them in the mail and in email inboxes. It sneaks up on us every damn year. Crap.

* Why is it so hard for a grown woman to find non-geriatric shorts in the right length? I love that Bermuda shorts are in style right now and that's great. But why are the only other options the ones with a 1" inseam. How about a nice, happy medium? Because when my pubic hair is longer than my shorts, there's a problem.

* On a related note, I found a skirt online that I really, REALLY liked. The description said it's a whopping 12" long from the top of the waist to the hem. I held a ruler up at my waist and realized that if you factor in my widened hips and upper thighs (since pushing 2 human beings out of my crotch), and the fact that the skirt would have to stretch around that, I could basically wear the damn skirt as a belt. Sigh.

* Thirty-five year old women shouldn't like the Jonas Brothers. Not that I know any 35-year-old women that like them. Nuh uh. I'm just sayin'...

* I'm totally buying this shirt to wear at the pig roast, and none of you can stop me.


* Or this one.


* Never mind. I'm all over this one.


* Oh WAIT! Maybe one of these?




* I think that's it. It's time for bed. More tomorrow, gang.


Chelle Y. said...

I love your random thoughts, but the picture of your pubic hair longer than your shorts is not an imagine I want stuck in my head the rest of the day. Thank.You.Very.Much! (but, sadly, it is going to be).

Susan's 365 said...

Oh, you definitely have to get one of the beer pong t-shirts.

Tink said...

( Garanimals) I had no idea something like this existed! I'm in awe. Seriously. Why didn't we think of this? We could be stinkin' RICH right now! Screw it. We're going to get rich off that keg idea. Ha, wouldn't you all like to know? Well you will, when we're sipping our beer out of gold plated mugs.

Mary said...

How can you really choose between those shirts?!?! Seriously. Be like an awardshow host. Have many wardrobe changes....