Saturday, January 05, 2008

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.... (And some eyebrows for Emma).

Yeah. I changed my blog template again. I've had about 8 different ones over the past 48 hours, but finally settled on this one. Nothing fancy. Nothing extravagant. Just me, my family, my words, and my photos. Sweet.

Soooo... I don't really have much to say today. LOL! I was ready to give both children up for adoption early this evening. Sure I'd miss them. But I would've asked for them back after they got rid of their damn attitudes, disrespect and horrible tempers. I'll tell you what... nothing makes you feel like Mother of the Year more than having an all out screaming match with your 6-year-old. Yup. Some proud moments this evening in our home. [sigh] Perhaps next time when she ticks me off, I'll just slam my MP3 player headphones into my ears, crank up "Crazy Bitch" and start jumping on the couch. And then when she tries to start jumping too, I'll yell at her and tell her only adults are allowed to do it. That'll teach her.


So let's talk about eyebrows. I notice people's eyebrows. I'm not really sure why since I have no other weird obsession with them. I've never plucked, waxed, shaved, or did anything else to my eyebrows in my life. I don't need to. They're thin, very light in color, and practically non-existent. I guess I'm lucky? I dunno. Steve, on the other hand, has an abundance of eyebrow hair. I once told him it looked like he had two squirrel tails taped on his forehead. We laughed for (literally) hours over that one. I guess guys can get away with it though. I don't think the poor guy ever thought about it until I pointed it out to him. His dad has them. His brother has them. And I think Grace is going to have them too. ((((Grace)))) About a year ago, I opened up a photo of him in Photoshop and showed him what he'd look like if he had them waxed. The transformation was amazing. LOL! He says all the time he wants to go get them waxed. But it hasn't happened yet. Now before y'all go getting all "Love him for who he is..." on me, I'd like to make it very clear that I honestly don't give a rat's ass about the man's facial hair. He's hot regardless. It's more of a joke between us than anything. So no need to comment on my insensitivity, OK?

I've also noticed my SIL's eyebrows. Emma will be thrilled to see I'm finally posting a photo of the infamous "comma brows." I've been a little paranoid up until now to post it. Right around the time I first mentioned it on the blog, we gave her and my BIL our old computer. I had deleted things, rechecked things, etc., and the girl didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on when I gave it to her. But I had nagging thoughts that she'd become a computer genius and somehow pull up an old link to this blog and see what I had said about her. I had nightmares about it because the family feud that would ensue would not be pretty. But I'm pretty sure that at this point, I'm safe. I figure I've said stuff about her since then and nothing's come out of it, so I'm guessing if she would've found me here, she would've done it by now. (Side note: If anyone in my family ever finds this blog, I'm afraid Planet Alien will be permanently laid to rest. This girl needs a place to vent without anyone who shares my last name or who gave birth to me or grew up with me knowing about it. But I digress...)

I first noticed her eyebrows about a year ago. I'm not sure if they always looked the way they did that night and I hadn't noticed it, or if it was a new little experiment she was conducting on her face. Regardless, she's still doing it. Not every time I see her, but more often than not. It's kind of weird. I have no problem with chicks wearing makeup, waxing various body parts, etc. But isn't the key for it to look as natural as possible so people don't know you're faking it? I dunno. Maybe my thinking is twisted. But for real. Tell me what exactly she's doing when she does this to her eyebrows... (This is the only picture I have that really shows them. Sorry about that.)

Easter 2007 128_edited-1


Easter 2007 128_edited-2 copy

I can totally see filling in your brows with a little makeup to make them appear fuller/better shaped/etc. But what's with the weird shape? And the perfectness. I tried to look closely (inconspicuously of course) that day to try to figure out exactly what she's doing. At the conclusion of my super secret spy mission, I've decided there's only one explanation. She has a stencil. There has to be an eyebrow stencil somewhere in her home. I'm convinced. She tapes the little stencil on her forehead in the correct position. Then she dips some sort of brush into some sort of goopy makeup with the consistency of brown lipstick and applies the makeup onto the stencil. I just don't get it. Eyebrows are made up of hair right? They aren't perfectly symmetrical shapes that end in a perfectly straight horizontal line, right? Shit. Maybe I'm the freak and I've looked like an idiot for the past 20+ years. Am I?

Anyway, I could go on and on, but I'm already afraid she has some sort of automatic Google search set up to scan the Internet every 4 minutes that will alert her if anything online contains the words "Jen" and "eyebrows."

So with that, I'm out of here. I'm having another beer, possibly another cigarette or two, and then I'm heading to bed. It's a busy day tomorrow my friends.


I posted today's photo over on my Project 365 blog, but I'll post it here again too. It's pretty boring today in comparison's to yesterday's, but here is the Student Profile we had to fill out and send back to school so everyone knows a little bit about their Student of the Month." :)

Our Student of the Month


fishface said...

I'm with you. Those are some freaky eyebrows...

Chelle Y. said...

That's funny because I always notice eyebrows too.

I totally laughed out loud when I read that comment about Steve. That's too hilarious!

Oh, and I like your new template.

Amber said...

You know what it is? When people overpluck or wax off their brows, sometimes the hair won't grow back. When Pammy Anderson was all hot in the 90's and that look was "in", people went nuts with it, and didn't know this would happen. It's true. LOL! I don't know how many women came to me to fix it when I was at Lancome. And also, one model I knew couldn't get work anymore once the look really passed.

I don't care if it was ever in style for five minutes... shit looks scary! Suckahs! LOL


Tink said...

I just want to walk up and smudge them with my thumb. OMG, do you think she carries an emergency eyebrow kit for when it rains? Maybe you should give her one for her birthday! You could even fill it with neato stencils. Like a star. Instead of an eyebrow, she could have a star like Jem!