Thursday, September 21, 2006

An Update on Life...

* My cat has fleas (and we have no idea how since he NEVER goes outside).

* Due to the "all natural" flea spray and carpet flea killer powder stuff, my entire house now smells like a damn clove cigarette.

* Men are idiots.

* I'm going to start spending my days eating bon-bons and watching Oprah, since that seems to be what most men think SAHM/WAHMs do.

* Women often rock, but they sometimes suck ass too.

* I have NEVER told my children that they suck, nor do I tell other people that my children suck. (You know... for those of you who think otherwise.)

* Our neighbors have officially, without a doubt, broken up.... Because she cheated... And then he cheated... What the hell is wrong with people? [sighing and shaking head]

* Grace is in kindergarten and is already fighting with me about doing homework. It's going to be a looooong 13 years.

* And while we're on the subject of school...

Dear Mrs. S---,

Grace doesn't have anything for show and tell that starts with the letter
"m". Never mind that our house looks like Geoffrey from Toys R Us threw up in
it. Grace says there's nothing here for her to bring in tomorrow. So please excuse
her lack of participation in tomorrow's activities.

Love,
Grace's Mom

11 comments:

Lisa said...

Okay, so seriously. I was curious and nosey about the first drama situation. I got enough off of the board to know that the second drama situation is something I probably don't want to know more about.

Just so you know, I think you are an awesome mom. You get frustrated (like we all do) and then you have the ability to find great humor in it. I can't believe that, even joking, someone would say that you thought your kids sucked. That sucks!!

hepmomto3 said...

I'm really out of the loop on this one. (Stupid IT) But ANYONE who says you think yours or ANYONE's kids "suck" needs to get their head out their ass!!! You are a ROCKIN' Momma and Grace and Hannah are lucky to have you for theirs.

Susan said...

Alien, you rock and so do your kids (okay and even your hubby).

I think I'm glad I saw that link after the secret board was already deleted. That's terrible!

September said...

Funny as shit, yes. But, no, your kids definitely don't suck. You definitely have a different approach to parenting than I do, but since my kids will undoubtedly be in therapy for years once I get done with them that might not necessarily be a bad thing.

Alien said...

LOL September. I'm really NOT that leniant with them. In fact, I get told often (by my husband) that I'm too strict with them. Sure, I joke with them. And yes I do things like tell them they're little freaks (JOKINGLY). But when push comes to shove, I'm really not that unlike most other moms I know. ;)

Allison

Dawn said...

Will you be my mom?

Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

You know what really sucks? Show and Tell pressure. I did 16 years of homework, teacher lady. I don't need to be doing more!

Alien said...

Kim: I was running around frantically this morning, trying to find something that started with an "M" AND that was show-and-tell worthy. I finally found a stuffed moose way down in the depths of Grace's stuffed animal bin and shoved it in her backpack. LOL!

Dawn: Sure. But you WILL sleep in your own bed, unlike my other kids. ;)

Tink said...

I never understood homework. WHY are they going to school in the first place if they have to bring the work home?! And the letter-show-n-tell thing isn't nearly as bad as the number-show-n-tell thing. My friend's kid had to bring 50 of something in with her one day. My friend called me at 11 o'clock asking if breaking Q-Tips in half would count as two things or just one damaged one. ;)

And for the record... I think you're a wonderful Mom.

Alien said...

LOL Tink. Well, in Grace's case, in kindergarten anyway, the "homework" is kind of voluntary. Last night she was supposed to write her name 4 times. It took her literally two minutes, but she was fighting me on it. If the kids do their "extra" homework, they earn tickets that the teacher passes out. Then they can save them and "spend" them on things like time to write on the chalkboard, the opportunity to play with some typewriters or play with the bazillion puppets the teacher has hanging up, etc. Fun stuff. And if kids misbehave (REALLY misbehave) they get tickets taken away. I think the teacher is trying to teach them to behave by rewarding them, and is also trying to help teach them that they can save things (i.e., money) to get things (certain more "fun" things cost more tickets).

And I'm LMAO about your friend. I know it's common to celebrate the 100th day of school and a lot of kids are asked to bring in 100 of something. But 50? That's just weird. LOL!

Amber said...

Your kids don't suck?? Because MY kids suck... They have sucked every brain cell I have left right out! LOL! (obviously that lady is having the same problem, to say something stupid like that.)

:)