This weekend has been rather odd. Several relationships in my life have changed drastically over the past few days. Friends that are no longer friends... People that used to be just casual acquaintances have now become close friends... I've watched a group of women bond together in total unity, supporting one of our own during one of the toughest times in her life. My emotions have run the gamut. Anger. Disgust. Disbelief. Sorrow. Sadness. Embarrassment. And mostly, blinding rage.
It made me reflect on my own life and the people in it. I have a wonderful, wonderful group of girlfriends. I've made many friends online on several boards, blogs, etc. over the past few years. These people know more about me than anyone else in my life. In fact, they know some things about me that even my own husband doesn't know. They know what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, and what makes me tick. They know that I used to HATE pink and now it's one of my favorite colors. They know that I hate anything that has a peach scent (Sorry Emily!) and that I love my beer. They know I smoke Marlboro Lights and that I don't let a single solitary vegetable or fruit pass my lips. They know that my parents have no clue that I smoke and that my sister is obsessed with her two dogs in a way that I personally think is unhealthy. They know ME. The real me. They know the things that make Allison who she is. And that's a wonderful thing.
But sometimes, there is one person in this group of friends that makes you re-evaluate some things. A few years ago, it was a girl who was on one of my Mommy boards. She came to stay in our rental unit in our backyard while she was trying to decide what to do about her unhappy marriage. Steve and I kindly let her stay here while she worked through her emotions and tried to decide what to do. But she took advantage of us (and many others). She used us. She used our families. She used our friends. She basically shit on us and then lied to other people about the kind of people Steve and I are. And I can assure you that Steve and I are not perfect, but we are NOT the kind of people this girl claimed we are. To this day, I can honestly say I hate her.
I reserve the word "hate" for those people in my life that I truly, truly despise. The ones that I think are just not good people. The ones that have total disregard for others and who do only those things that make themselves happy, not taking into account the emotions of other people around them. The ones that don't give a shit who they hurt or what consequences their actions may have as long as they're happy.
And this weekend, I had to face the fact that I, once again, had someone like that in my life. Someone who I had considered my friend at one point and who did something that (in my opinion) is unforgiveable. Something that was bad enough for me to be confident in saying that I will never, ever speak to this person again. And the kicker is that she didn't even do it to me. No. That might be understandable. God knows, I'm a self-admitted bitch at times. Instead, she did it instead to a wonderful, beautiful, caring woman who is so nice, she almost makes your teeth hurt. Someone who is the type of person we all strive to be. Someone who lives her life with daily hardships and yet always has a smile on her face and faith in her heart.
And as I watched the whole situation unfold, I sat in awe at how good women can come together to support each other. Sure, we can be catty. (God knows we can be catty. LOL!) And we can be competitive and bitchy and mean towards each other. But when push comes to shove, we can unite and give a fellow woman the strength to hold her head up high. We can channel our power and our support to another woman that needs it. And goddamn, when women get together, we're unstoppable. We look down the barrel of the gun and dare the person holding it to fire it. Because we know that when we're all supporting each other like that, nothing can penetrate us, nothing can harm us, and nothing can make us back down.
Ya know, I've joked all my life about how "I hate girls" because they're all so catty and jealous. And I've joked about how all my friends are guys because they pretty much don't give a shit about anything and they aren't all emotional and weepy and needy. But you know what? Today, I changed my mind. Women fucking rock. And I dare you to disagree...