Sunday, September 17, 2006

I Dig Chicks

This weekend has been rather odd. Several relationships in my life have changed drastically over the past few days. Friends that are no longer friends... People that used to be just casual acquaintances have now become close friends... I've watched a group of women bond together in total unity, supporting one of our own during one of the toughest times in her life. My emotions have run the gamut. Anger. Disgust. Disbelief. Sorrow. Sadness. Embarrassment. And mostly, blinding rage.

It made me reflect on my own life and the people in it. I have a wonderful, wonderful group of girlfriends. I've made many friends online on several boards, blogs, etc. over the past few years. These people know more about me than anyone else in my life. In fact, they know some things about me that even my own husband doesn't know. They know what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, and what makes me tick. They know that I used to HATE pink and now it's one of my favorite colors. They know that I hate anything that has a peach scent (Sorry Emily!) and that I love my beer. They know I smoke Marlboro Lights and that I don't let a single solitary vegetable or fruit pass my lips. They know that my parents have no clue that I smoke and that my sister is obsessed with her two dogs in a way that I personally think is unhealthy. They know ME. The real me. They know the things that make Allison who she is. And that's a wonderful thing.

But sometimes, there is one person in this group of friends that makes you re-evaluate some things. A few years ago, it was a girl who was on one of my Mommy boards. She came to stay in our rental unit in our backyard while she was trying to decide what to do about her unhappy marriage. Steve and I kindly let her stay here while she worked through her emotions and tried to decide what to do. But she took advantage of us (and many others). She used us. She used our families. She used our friends. She basically shit on us and then lied to other people about the kind of people Steve and I are. And I can assure you that Steve and I are not perfect, but we are NOT the kind of people this girl claimed we are. To this day, I can honestly say I hate her.

I reserve the word "hate" for those people in my life that I truly, truly despise. The ones that I think are just not good people. The ones that have total disregard for others and who do only those things that make themselves happy, not taking into account the emotions of other people around them. The ones that don't give a shit who they hurt or what consequences their actions may have as long as they're happy.

And this weekend, I had to face the fact that I, once again, had someone like that in my life. Someone who I had considered my friend at one point and who did something that (in my opinion) is unforgiveable. Something that was bad enough for me to be confident in saying that I will never, ever speak to this person again. And the kicker is that she didn't even do it to me. No. That might be understandable. God knows, I'm a self-admitted bitch at times. Instead, she did it instead to a wonderful, beautiful, caring woman who is so nice, she almost makes your teeth hurt. Someone who is the type of person we all strive to be. Someone who lives her life with daily hardships and yet always has a smile on her face and faith in her heart.

And as I watched the whole situation unfold, I sat in awe at how good women can come together to support each other. Sure, we can be catty. (God knows we can be catty. LOL!) And we can be competitive and bitchy and mean towards each other. But when push comes to shove, we can unite and give a fellow woman the strength to hold her head up high. We can channel our power and our support to another woman that needs it. And goddamn, when women get together, we're unstoppable. We look down the barrel of the gun and dare the person holding it to fire it. Because we know that when we're all supporting each other like that, nothing can penetrate us, nothing can harm us, and nothing can make us back down.

Ya know, I've joked all my life about how "I hate girls" because they're all so catty and jealous. And I've joked about how all my friends are guys because they pretty much don't give a shit about anything and they aren't all emotional and weepy and needy. But you know what? Today, I changed my mind. Women fucking rock. And I dare you to disagree...

24 comments:

Chelle Y. said...

Thanks, Allison. Thanks so much! :)

Susan said...

It truly is an amazing thing to watch women get together and stick together. Alien you rock!

Chelle, we're all here for you whenever you need us.

Kim said...

Amen to everything you said! I couldn't agree more!

Janet said...

Girls definitely rock!

HB said...

I'm outside this situation, but I've done enough reading to say - Amen, Sister!

And Chelle, I don't know you but keep your chin up, girl. You are better than the scum that did this to you.

geena said...

Right on with everything you just posted Alien!!

September said...

Just the light note we needed for this Sunday morning. Thanks, Allison.

jeanne_bean said...

Amen, sister! There is nothing more wonderful than the strength of your friends (those you know, and those you don't yet know) when you are at your seemingly lowest.

I don't know you either Chelle, but I hope and pray you get the happiness you obviously deserve in your life.

Anonymous said...

Tell it sistah!!

Chelle - another voice adding support for you.

B.

Emily said...

Chelle, we love you, sweetie.

Mary said...

I don't know the whole situation, but Chelle I love ya chickie. I can't believe that someone would do something to hurt you. (((HUGS)))

Melissa said...

Damn, I love you chicks. We rock, don't we? LOL

Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

Rock on Alien, for being a great friend.

Rock on Chelle, for being a beautiful, strong woman. We all love you!!!

hepmomto3 said...

((((((((Chelle))))))))) I have no idea what happened, but want to send my hugs.

Now - Alien - would you still have the smell of peaches if it were one of KAP's nekkid pies? ;)

Dawn said...

Allison, I'm sorry this person betrayed you. In the end she's hurt a lot of people and some day it will come back to haunt her.

Chelle, Talk about the ultimate betrayal. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

mamatulip said...

I don't disagree at all.

Chelle, you've got the support of a lot of really great women. Hang in there.

Chelle Y. said...

I wanted to tell you all again, thank you so much for your support and love during this time. I have been feeling really bad about myself, thinking.."if only I had never started blogging?" The fact is, if that happened, I would not have met some truly wonderful people.

You made my day, and gave me a smile!

Tink said...

Chelle sweetie, as I was reading Alien's post I thought, "If this isn't about Chelle it SHOULD be." And low and behold.

You have no idea how much this all blew me away. I actually cried when I found out. I went home to Hoop and went on and on about "is no one safe? Because this is a GOOD person, damn it."

I'm here for you. I support you. I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are a strong woman with a kind heart. You will get through this brilliantly.

Amber said...

Allison, I have only been around a short time, but I hope you think of me as a friend. Because i think you rock. And this post SAID IT ALL.

Chelle, none of this was your fault, or because you started blogging. People ARE who they ARE, and sooner or later it would have been something else. We all love you and support you. And I know you are a Christian, but don't forget anyway, that KARMA IS A BITCH.

:)

Renfield said...

Preach it, sister! You're an awesome friend and definitely one I want in my corner if the shit ever hits the fan.

Chelle, you don't know me (you may know OF me, LOL!), but you have my complete support. I'm so, so sorry for what happened to you!

hepmomto3 said...

Where the heck have YOU been!!?? I really have to call you sometime. I could use some advice/direction re: the boys. PLUS I'd love to get together. Going to the game this weekend since it is in MN? Maybe I should email you.

Alien said...

LOL Emma, can I assume you aren't talking to me? ;)

hepmomto3 said...

LOL - no. Was just wondering if Tracey would EVER surface again when she posted here. I miss the stinkin board!

Scully said...

Amen. You also don't like the smell of vanilla and that just makes me all the cooler that I know that too. ;o)

Chelle, don't know you personally but I know of you from Alien's pigroast photos - don't know what happened but you have my hugs and support. Any friend of Aliens... :)