Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Organic Man Needs to Get a Life...

Dear god. I don't know if I've even talked about it here on my blog, but Steve's been on a crazy health kick the past two months or so. He's been waking up at 4:00 AM for years to go next door to the bungalow in our backyard and workout. Great. Rock on, dude. But now his little search for the perfect healthy body has led him down the Organic Road.

Now don't get me wrong. Wanting to be healthy is great. It really is. But there is a line that one crosses, taking them from "normal person wanting to be healthier" to "crazy ass health nut dude that needs to relax."

The two of us went grocery shopping this morning. Let me just say that I HATE grocery shopping with him. Hate it. I can be in and out of the store in an hour flat, and that includes checkout. Steve? It's a good 2 to 2.5 hour ordeal. Drives... me... insane...

So we're shopping today. He's not only throwing everything in the cart that says "organic" on it, but is looking at every brand of whatever product he wants to buy to see if there's an organic version. He's a slow reader, so it took a looooong time to go up and down every aisle.

In the meantime, I'm having dizzy spells. I think I have an ear infection (possibly in both ears) and it's throwing my balance off. There we were in the frozen food aisle when my head started spinning, I felt dizzy and my eyes couldn't focus right. I grab onto the shopping cart to keep from toppling over and tell Steve not to move it or I might fall. He chuckles and says, "Oh my god. Please don't pass out here and embarrass me." Thanks dude. (In his defense, he didn't realize how dizzy I was.) So I'm like, "No. Seriously. DON'T move it." He says, "OK. I'm going to go over and get laundry detergant. If you're on the floor when I get back, please don't be mad when I walk past and pretend I don't know you. If you start getting really bad, sit in the cart or something." Um, huh? You think my fat ass is going to fit in there? LOL! Ok dude.

So anyway, the dizzy spell passes and we continue shopping. I knew he had crossed that fine line I mentioned above when he bought two tubes of organic toothpaste (what?!) and grabbed a box of organic pancake mix that cost $7.00! Seven fucking dollars people! For pancakes! Jesus! dude, you need help. Lots and lots of help...

I will say though that his little organic phase has helped me lose weight. Not because I'm eating healthier, mind you. But because I just don't eat. Gone is the junkfood I lived on. Gone are the Pringles and TastyKakes and Doritos. I've dropped 8 lbs. or so. I'm starving, but I'm thinner. Yay.

20 comments:

Tink said...

$7.00 for pancakes?! Are they MAGIC pancakes?

I will never eat organic. Veggies and healthy grain stuff, yes. But organic is just too far. I think I would start strategically planning my grocery trips to days and times he can't go. Geesh.

Alien said...

That won't work. [sigh] See, he usually does all of the grocery shopping. I only went this morning because the girls are in daycare and apparently, he wanted my company? LOL! I dunno. I could volunteer to go. But then I'd have to pay. And that ain't happenin'. ;)

Emily said...

Tell him you are having an allergic reaction to organic foods and the doctors said the only cure for it is Pringles...otherwise you will die.

And its 7 bucks for pancake MIX? Does it...like mix itself and then turn on the griddle and cook itself?

Ooo!! Withold nookie. Tell him you are now a junk-food whore and unless he pays you in snack cakes and chips he can just go screw some organic fruits or something.
lol

Kimmykay said...

I don't know. He's paying for the food AND you get to loose weight in the process? LOL. I could suffer for 8 to 10 lbs but only if I could make a run to a fast food restraunt from time to time. ~grins~.

Sorry about the dizzy spells. I have wonderfully CLOGGED ears. It sucks. Granted it muffles the kids but I have to go "HuH?" all the time when someone is speaking to me. LOL.

Chelle Y. said...

Alien, people are so excited in this little town of mine because a "Trader's Joe" is being built here. I'm like, "Trader's Joe? What's that?" Haha!

I am going to go eat some Pringles right now! Just kidding!

Mike Y said...

Lots and lots of help.... Oh, that's funny.

Sorry about the dizzy spell. But if you did get in the cart, it would have made for some great pics to post. LOL.

Did he hear that 7UP is now organic?

I actually like some foods that are a bit healthier. It drives Chelle nuts. For example, I prefer brown rice to white rice and I like whole grain pastas.

But without the Meridia, I'd be chowing down everything in sight these days.

September said...

You can just be grateful that you don't have a Whole Foods anywhre near you...then you'd really go broke.

mamatulip said...

Seven bucks? There'd better be gold flakes in that pancake mix.

Chelle Y. said...

LOL Mamatulip! I was thinking the same thing!

Chelle Y. said...

LOL Mamatulip! I was thinking the same thing!

HB said...

You couldn't throw in some Pringles and Tasty Cakes when he wasn't looking?

HB said...

PS - September, I love Whole Foods! And Metropolitan Market for that matter AND Trader Joe's. But seven bucks for pancake mix is insane.

Allison - tell him that junkfood is an aphrodisiac and you can't get aroused without it.

September said...

I've never heard of Metropolitan Market. I do like TJ's, but almost all of "their" stuff is made in a factory that processes peanuts and tree nuts, and with Bronte's issues that's out for us. Major bummer. Also a HUGE hassle when we're at my sister's, who does about 75% of her grocery shopping there.

Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

I'm going to go to Whole Foods and overnight you some of their organic goodies, Alien. Can't have you starving to death.

And 7-UP is most definitely not organic. It's "natural." Big difference.

Mike Y said...

I do pretty close to 100% of our shopping too. But I usually will surprise Chelle with a Big Hunk (that's a candy bar girls) or a Snickers.

So, while I really do enjoy healthier food options, there's always some junk food present. I especially like to ensure there's some form of chocolate on the premises.

Amber said...

Okay. Yes. We eat mostly organic. I admit it. But it is because Wyatt has food allergies, and reacts to a lot of the colors and preservatives. He has been almost allergy free now that we eat natural foods.

And I think Kory and I lost weight because of the lack of super yummy junk food in the house, too! Now i don't miss it anymore.

:)

Chelle Y. said...

Okay, you and Emily made me laugh at your comments to my "Team Aniston" choice. I explained my answer. :o)

Mike Y said...

Thanks for pointing that out Kim. This is why I'm in technology and not in organic foods.

Now, I'm depressed! I'm gonna go get some chocolate.

EE said...

(((you))) As much of a health nut as I am, even *I* don't buy organic. I'm all about healthy, but I like my food to like, you know, TASTE good too. LOL!

And seriously, you should have gotten in the cart. ~snort~

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