Sunday, December 14, 2008

Total Drive-By (Again)

Because it’s 2 AM, and although I’m not even remotely tired, I know I need to go to bed if I have any hope of waking up before 9 AM tomorrow (which is way too late). But this is a good thing. Because it means bullets and we ALL love bullets, right? :)

And we’re off…

* I’ve been so busy, my head is spinning. Work, Christmas stuff, the girls’ extracurricular stuff, school stuff, making gifts, etc. Can someone stop the world please? Because I’d like to get off, if even for just a day.

* My printer took a shit on me 3 weeks ago. It suddenly wouldn’t feed any paper other than normal copy paper. This probably wouldn’t be a problem for most people. But because I print out a lot of photos, scrapbook pages, special papers for hybrid projects, etc., it basically meant my printer was useless to me. So in swoops my mom and buys me the Epson Artisan 700 photo printer as my Christmas gift. Happy, happy sigh. Mom rules!

* However, after printing a bit tonight, using the same double-sided, PrintWorks matte photo paper as a few weeks ago, the new one wouldn’t feed it through anymore either. Uh, I’m thinking it’s the paper, not the printers. So that old printer currently sitting on my living room floor isn’t broken after all? Um. Oops.

* I’m currently a little obsessed with David Cook. Don’t worry. I’m sure it will pass. But for now, I’m a self-proclaimed dork. It’s all good.

* Grace is now officially a Brownie Girl Scout after her investiture ceremony last week. She’s so proud! :)

* Grace is getting a guitar for Christmas from my brother. I think that’s fucking awesome.

* I currently have a total of 3 gifts bought for my children for Christmas, and one of those is a joint gift. (Joint as in for both of them. Not a big bong.) Now granted, the big gift is a Wii. But still. Do you think I could possibly get off my ass and BUY them something? Sigh. My problem is that every other damn family member has already bought them everything they could possibly want or need, so there’s nothing left for me. Dammit. This happens EVERY year.

* I also haven’t bought anything for about 80 other people I need to buy for. I guarantee you I’ll be out shopping on Christmas Eve. I really should have a penis.

* Today ended the 2008 buck hunting season in PA, and I’m sorry to report that my dear husband didn’t shoot one. This is devastating on many levels, and I’m SURE I’ll hear about it for the next year. So if you keep me in your thoughts and prayers, it would be greatly appreciated.

* I’m lip-synching like a rock star right now, thinking I’m all sorts of cool and shit. Yeah Allison… drink another one. [rolls eyes]

* I made some big decisions the past few weeks and I think I finally decided it’s time to move on and forge ahead.

* Hannah continues to crack me up daily. The wit and sarcasm and attitude that comes spewing from that 5-year-old’s lips makes my head spin around (while secretly beaming with pride). She really IS a mini-me, isn’t she? ;)

* Both girls are kicking some serious kung-fu ass in both behavior and grades in school. That’s my girls!

* Grace is student of the month for her class for December. :)

* This Friday, I’m helping out at the school for half the day for some sort of celebration or something (the details are sketchy). The woman who called said it’s “Pajama Day” for the kids and that I, too, am more than welcome to wear my PJs to the school. I have to admit, there’s a very large tiny part of me that wants to walk in wearing something from Frederick’s of Hollywood, like a thong with garters and a bustier. But I suppose that wouldn’t be appropriate, would it? (I’d also have to go BUY garters and bustier, and since I can’t even seem to buy my own damn kids a few Christmas gifts, I’m thinking the chances of me going out and purchasing these items are pretty much slim to none.)

* I know there are about 8 billion other things I wanted to update y’all about, but I’m totally blanking right now. Why is this not surprising?

* Steve’s 34th birthday is on Wednesday and I bought him a kick ass salad shooter. Sounds stupid, I know. But I can assure you he will LOVE it. I don’t think he even knows that such a tool exists. But I will no longer have to listen to his incessant bitching every night when it takes him 45 minutes to make a salad due to the slicing of a billion vegetables (because I’m all about giving people gifts that also benefit me somehow.)

* For Christmas, I got him the mother of all topographical GPS’s. He’s wanted one for quite awhile now for when he goes wandering around the woods. I’m not sure why he thinks he needs one since he knows those woods and mountains better than he knows the home we’ve lived in for almost 10 years, but whatever.

* I never told you guys about “The Great Thanksgiving Incident” involving my kids and our spawn of the devil dear, sweet nephews. I’m not getting into it right now either, because it’s almost 3 AM, but let’s just say that I’m seriously dreading Christmas. I’m thinking of just fleeing the state that week and going down to visit Tink and Hoop. Hell, it’s not like my kids are getting any gifts anyway since I’m suck a slacker. So what’s the difference, right?

And with that, I really need to go to bed now. I need to be up in 4 or 5 hours to shower and pick the girls up at my parents’ house to take them to Sunday School. Later gang. :)

I’ll leave you with a lovely photo of the family when we went to cut down our Christmas tree. :)

(Oh, and while we’re here… isn’t that coat thing Steve is wearing the UGLIEST damn thing you’ve ever seen? I hate it. I tell him it looks like a Bill Cosby sweater. No one else seems to agree with me when asked, but I’m holding my ground on this one. His dickhead friend Grace’s godfather gave it to him because he didn’t want it anymore, so I’m not sure if I hate it because it really is ugly or because it came from Joey, who I have some serious issues with. But either way, I’d like it burned. In fact, I think that’s my New Year’s resolution this year. Burn Steve’s fugly coat thingy. It may be the first resolution I actually keep…)

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September said...

So, I take it from your candor that you're fairly confident that Steve doesn't read your blog.

Allison said...

LOL! Steve doesn't really even know what a blog is, let alone know how to get here. But that wouldn't be an issue even if he DID read it. Other than revealing the salad shooter gift (he knows about the GPS), there's nothing in this post (or any other) that I'd have a problem with him reading.

We're pretty open and there are very few things we disagree on. I TELL him he's like a constantly PMS-ing teenager, he knows his brother's children are evil, etc. It's all good. LOL! (And I REALLY need to email you to tell you about the whole Thanksgiving incident. You'll laugh and be mortified right along with me.)

I leave my email account up on my computer screen at all times, so nothing to hide there. And I'd gladly leave this page up too. Part of me WISHES he would read it just so he doesn't think I have any deep dark secrets. I've mentioned on occasion to him that I have a blog and he just sort of walks away. LOL! But he could gladly read it. It's all good. :)

Allison said...

Oh, and he knows I hate that damn coat and that I think his friend Joey is an asshole (and Steve agrees for the most part... Joey has changed DRASTICALLY in the past few years). Seriously... Steve and I are seriously like two girlfriends that gossip and bitch about other people. It's awesome. LOL!

september said...

Okay, I can't wait to hear about Thanksgiving now. We need to compare some extended family stories...after being on vacation for a week with Cori's family I've got a few as well.

I was totally only commenting on him knowing what his gift was. Steve is so laid back that *I* could tell him that his nephews were obnoxious and his coat was ugly and he'd just laugh.

Tink said...

I wouldn't be worried about that sweater-coat. I'd be worried about the shadow under Steve's lip that looks like a Hitler mustache. And a SALAD SHOOTER?! I don't believe it. ;)