Virtual Smorgasbord

Random Like a Rock Star

(Shut up. Y’all love my random ramblings and you know it.)

* “Lightly Salted” potato chips do nothing for my cravings. Don’t even think about buying those stupid things again the next time we have a picnic and you offer to bring something, Mom. OK?

* I got my period today. I never know when she’s coming (because I don’t pay attention) so it took me by surprise. Lemme tell you, I am so looking forward to walking around the zoo on Saturday in the predicted 95-degree weather, with 16 other family members, looking for stench-filled public restrooms so I can change my tampon. It doesn’t get any better than that, does it? Sigh.

* And I’m sure my raging hormones will boost my tolerance of my nephew that normally makes me want to carry a flask with me when I know he’s going to be around. If you see a story on the news about a crazy Pennsylvania lady trying to shove her 6-year-old nephew into an empty cage, and that crazy lady looks at the camera and sticks out her tongue while drool runs down her chin, just know that that’s the “secret sign” from that crazy lady to her loyal blog readers as a way of saying hello. Just wave back at your TV screen and know that the lady will be back up and blogging again as soon as she posts bail.

* My insane (literally) neighbor gave me a free pack of cigarettes today because Steve gave him half (not a whole one, mind you) of a watermelon. I’m pretty sure the whole exchange embodies the art of being a redneck, but I’m not sure, since it’s hard to see the “big picture” when you’re one of the parties involved.

* Cinnamon Altoids and beer don’t taste that great when consumed together. Keep that in mind, OK gang?

* Shit. I forgot to make the pig roast invitations again today. Someone remind me tomorrow, OK?

* One week from now, I’ll be sitting here at home, chillin’ with two of my best girlfriends, drinking booze, and making fun of all of you. It’s a shame y’all can’t fly in too. But since you can’t, you’re all fair game in the Make Fun of the People That Aren’t Here game I like to play with my guests. Sucks to be you.

* I’m out of random thoughts, so let’s move on…

 

Link Love

Sooo… due to my obsessive habit of adding 5 or 6 new blog feeds to my blog reader everyday, I often find myself stumbling upon fantastic websites out there in the Internet world. Today, I found two that made me happy.

First up we have the Fail Blog. OMG! Funny shit! I spent HOURS looking back through the entire blog. It’s all funny pictures and videos of people (or other things) failing miserably at something. There’s stuff like this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

Seriously. Go there. Now. (Well, as soon as you finish reading my post.) Your sides will hurt from laughing so hard.

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The next site I “found” (i.e., someone else found it and linked to it, like I’m about to do) is Tune Us In. You can convert any of your MP3 files on your computer to FREE ring tones. (I like free shit.) I now have “7 Things I Hate About You” ringing in my ears whenever my sister calls me. It was either that or “Fat Bottomed Girls.” Baahaahaa! Shhhh! Don’t tell her! (Obviously, she doesn’t read this blog. Um, that I’m aware of. Crap.)

But seriously, do me a favor and post in the comments what some of your ring tones are and if they’re for certain people. I get a kick out of that stuff.

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And this last one really is a link filled with love. Tink posted for the first time since her brother-in-law was killed in a car accident. I adore this girl. And now her and her fiance are going to petition for custody of her brother-in-law’s 4-year-old son. Could y’all send out some prayers and positive thoughts that it goes through? Because they’d be kick ass parents to the little boy and I have complete faith that they’d raise him in an unbelievable environment. If you don’t do prayers, throw a penny in a fountain or something and make it your wish. They all deserve it.

 

A PHOTO (or 2)

At one of the picnics we were at this past weekend, I snapped some pictures of my friend’s little girl. They’re all moving to Montana (or some other far-away state) in two weeks and I’m sad. I’ve known the dad since 5th grade, and we’ve always been great friends. And now, he’s leaving. Sniff.

Anyway, I took some pictures of his little girl and played with them a bit so I could send him the shots. I can’t decide which I like best… the sepia or the BW. Thoughts anyone?