The Alien Night Life

So I know that many (if not all) of you sit around on a regular basis, wondering what me and my little Alienettes are doing. Well, last night, I decided to document, in photos, what a typical evening is like around here. So grab a drink (it’s a long one, folks), sit back, and prepare to be thankful you don’t live here with us.

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It all started when both girls decided to play dress up. This, in and of itself, is weird. Hannah plays dress up ALL the time. But Grace? HELL no. It’s not her thing. Why? Well, because, generally speaking, it’s a girly thing. But for some reason, last night, she decided she wanted to dress up like a rock star, just like Hannah.

So they busted out Hannah’s Cheetah Girls dress up kit and had at it. Great. They both looked cute… it kept them occupied… etc. Then they grabbed Grace’s drum and Hannah’s (working) microphone and put on a little concert for me. Here, my friends, is where it quickly went downhill…

First up was Grace. Now keep in mind that the shirt she’s wearing is supposed to cover her stomach (LOL!), but when you’re the size of a 9-year-old, you’re kind of shit out of luck when it comes to these things. I also like the creative genius who strung the bracelets on the fake necklaces. BRILLIANT!

Next up was Hannah. As can be seen by the look on her face, she was dead serious about the whole thing. It was like she was channeling Hannah Montana’s spirit.

Sing it like you wrote it, girlfriend! WOOHOO!!!

Then it was Grace’s turn again. By this point (about 5 minutes later), she had lost the serious side of her rockstar debut and morphed back into the Grace I love. How, you ask? Why, by singing a song about farting, of course. Because nothing says rock star like flatulence does. I will give her credit though. She acted it all out too by making farting noises and holding the microphone at her ass.

And then she tried to hang herself because the fake farts smelled so bad.

Not to be outdone by her big sister, Hannah sang HER farting song next. They made me so proud, I actually got a little teary. [happy sigh]

Hannah decided that pointing at the culprit would further get her point across. Because otherwise, how would the audience know where that awful smell was coming from.

Hers were so bad, that she skipped the hanging and went right to the pass-out. Nice.

We administered CPR and she was fine. Then it was time to jump. Because what’s more fun than random jumping?

OMG! What IS that? Hannah or a freaky-ass bird?

Grace threw in some of her gymnastics skills and really impressed the spectators.

Now Hannah’s bored and pissed because she can’t perform the same jumping skills as her sister. However, she CAN “belly dance” and suck her stomach in enough to see every damn bone and muscle in her naval. Frankly, it’s disgusting and a sure sign that this child’s mother isn’t feeding her properly and she’s malnourished. It’s a tragedy really…

But that wasn’t getting enough attention, so she moved on to the couch performance.

RUN!

ROLL!

CRASH!

Pass out again. (Hey, it’s tiring being this entertaining.)

While Hannah was performing her sofa gymnastics, Grace had left the room. I assumed she was taking her intermission break, but shortly after Hannah’s second collapse, Grace wandered back into the room. Apparently, Hannah’s belly dancing had inspired her and she pulled out a few belly tricks of her own. That’s right folks. She had drawn a face on her stomach. I, personally, was just relieved to find out that she hadn’t used the permanent black Sharpie that I thought she had.

Cute little bugger, isn’t he?

You know where this is leading, right? There was no way Hannah was letting her sister steal the spotlight again. Enter Belly Friend #2.

Look mom! It’s TWINS!

Hey sis, I love ya, but can you stop squashing my face, please?

After that, it got out of hand (Ya think?) and I had to put the camera down, bring things back down to a dull roar, and, um, give the girls a bath.

So there you have it. A fairly typical night in the House of the Aliens. The activities vary, but they almost all, at some point, involve farting, burping, inappropriate behavior on the furniture, and things that end up making a bath or shower mandatory.

Sooo… who wants to come visit and bring your kids? There’s plenty of markers here for everyone…