So….

Hypothetically speaking, if one of your friends sent you the following email, would you feel the overwhelming desire to show up at their 4th of July picnic?

“Hey guys.

I'm sure most (or all?) of you have plans already, but I wanted to invite you all to our house tomorrow for a picnic. The picnic was not my idea, nor is it my choice (damn mother-in-law), but it's here nonetheless. For those of you that are wondering (ahem... Kelly), my little nephews will NOT be coming, so no need to worry about an obnoxious little boy who needs a good ass-whooping squirting you in the face with a water gun. In fact, the only kids here will be mine and another little girl (for those of you that don't like kids).

It's starting around 3:30 or so and will go until people leave or Steve & I pass out. Truthfully, there aren't many people coming, and those that are are kind of old, so it will probably be pretty boring for me unless some of you show up. So far, we've got my mother-in-law and her husband (nice people, but kind of boring), Steve's aunt (recovering alcoholic), my parents (which means I can't smoke most of the day since I don't smoke in front of them), my sister (possibly, but she's bitchy most of the time anyway, so who cares), Steve's step-sister-in-law and her daughter (who I actually like), the sister-in-law's parents (which is awkward since last summer, 10 minutes after meeting the old-as-dirt dad, I walked in on him taking a shit in his bathroom and haven't been able to look in the eyes since. Seeing an old guy on the shitter scars you for life, my friends), my 16-year-old nephew and his girlfriend, and the girlfriend's parents (whom I've never met in my life). Sounds like fun, no? Sigh.

Anyway, now that I've made it sound like a party you just can't miss, feel free to stop by. We will have beer and food, so I guess it could be worse. But if any of you have nothing else to do and just want to get out for a bit, feel free to swing by and rescue me from my hell. Words cannot describe how much I'm looking forward to the White Oaks on Saturday. LOL!

Allison”

Yeah. I didn’t think so. Sigh. My guess is that the people I just sent it to won’t show up, huh? Pray for me tomorrow (today when you read this) people. I could use it.