Who are you and what did you do with Allison?

So. I’ve been pondering how to blog about this without feeling like I’ve betrayed myself and the people that know me well. We all know how I feel about exercise. I hate it. I know it’s good for you and all that shit, but I never understood (still don’t) why people willingly make themselves breathe heavy and exert themselves. So it is with deep regret to inform you all that I’ve started doing just that. [hanging head in shame]

It’s something I had been thinking about a lot lately. Not because I wanted to lose weight or be buff or any of those other usual reasons. It was because I was sick and tired of always feeling tired and panicking daily that I was going to perish rather young and leave my 2 gorgeous daughters with a father who, although he tries desperately, just can’t make their hair presentable for school every day.

I gave myself the usual excuses… I’ll start in spring when the weather is nicer… I’ll do it after I quit smoking… I’ll just park in the last spot in WalMart, farthest from the store and walk a bit… etc.

But then, well, that ONE motivator in my life occurred over the weekend. Steve was talking to his brother on the phone. When they hung up, Steve laughed and said mentioned that his brother said he had to hang up because the kids were wild and “Jen is out for her run so I have to reign them in.” Jen? Running? On a regular basis? Son of a bitch! We ALL know how I feel about my SIL. Although there are no obvious issues between us anymore, I know that secretly, we’re still fiercely competitive. There is no way in HELL I’ll EVER let her be in better shape than me (which isn’t saying much) or thinner than me (something that has never occurred since I’ve met Steve). I mean, can any of us forget when I was told she joined a gym, prompting me to do so? And then, when months later, found out she never joined a gym? ARG! But I have to admit that the last time I saw her (a few weeks ago), she DID look thinner, so I truly believe she’s started running/walking. Dammit to hell.

Anyway, that was enough motivation to convince me to do what I’d be contemplating for the past few weeks. Quite a few of my friends have started the Couch to 5K program, and have had decent success, so I had been thinking about looking into it myself. Once I heard the evil, comma-eyebrow-painting SIL was running, I felt I had no choice. Sigh.

So on Monday, I did it. I followed the Week 1 “rules” and did what I was supposed to. I didn’t cheat. I didn’t walk when I was supposed to be running. And I DID it, dammit! I was so proud of myself! I smoke about 1/2 pack a day and drink WAY more than any person should, and yet, I completed Day 1. I hate to admit it, but towards the end of it, I was ready to pack it in, but found that if I just chanted, “Jen. Jen. Jen…” every time my foot hit the ground, I could muster through it.

So today was my second day (you do it every other day), and it was a bit easier. My legs were much more forgiving, but it was colder, so breathing was a bit harder. But I DID IT! I didn’t cheat at all and I did what I was supposed to do. Steve’s proud. My mom was asking me about it. And my Facebook friends have been nothing but encouraging. But most importantly, I’M proud of myself. Exercise and I are not friends, so the fact that I’m pushing myself does give me a bit of pride.

And I won’t lie…. come this summer, when the family’s all at my FIL’s house to swim in his pool and I can rock my bathing suit better than my SIL, I’ll smile to myself and inwardly thank her for being a bitch, which is what motivated me to do what I needed to do anyway. Ahhh… life is good….

I’ve decided that tomorrow, I’m going to take a “Before” photo of myself and post it so I can show the “After” as I go along on the program. It’s NOT something I really wanted to do, but at the same time, I like to take comfort in the fact that I’m extremely comfortable with who I am now. I really am! It’s me. Take me or leave me. If you don’t like it, don’t look. And I think it will be fun (and motivational) for me to post a photo at the end of each week or two and see what I look like at the end of the 9 weeks.

Again, I’m not doing it to lose weight. I’m more than happy with the number that shows up when I step on a scale. But the distribution of that weight (HELLO butt, stomach and thighs) could probably use a little work, so we’ll see how that changes as I continue the program.

So sit back and enjoy the ride. I figure that even if you have no interest in the exercise portion of it, at least I can keep you entertained with half naked photos of myself and updates on the comparisons between myself and my SIL. Because I KNOW you all have that ONE family member that you feel the need to better than. Don’t lie. You do. You just don’t want to admit it…