What are the fucking odds?

Seriously. I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone today. I'm so very sorry I haven't blogged lately, but it's been one hell of a week. But anyway, back to this odds thing. Without getting into detail (because I'm tired and ready for bed), I had to put our other cat, Cooter, to sleep today. I swear to god, I didn't even know he was sick until the middle of the night last night when he started wailing and crying from midnight until the morning. He woke all of us up and kept us up half the night. I took him to the vet this morning and he was severely jaundiced (indicating liver failure) and the vet could feel "a huge mass" in his stomach. It was painfully obvious he was in pain and had something wrong with him that wasn't fixable, so I agreed to send him to a better place. But it was kind of a shock since we had no clue anything was even wrong until less than 24 hours ago.

Anyway, so I get home from the vet and send an email to my brother and sister telling them about Cooter just to let them know. My brother emails back saying he just put his cat to sleep this morning too. He's devastated. Absolutely devastated. But seriously, what are the odds that my older sibling and I would have to put our cats to sleep on the exact same day, within an hour or two of each other? That's just fucking creepy, and I don't care what any of you say. It has to be a curse or something. Which one of you out there is performing hocus pocus on my family? Because it's rude and I want it to stop.

Oh, and my sister is here right now, sleeping on my couch with two VERY large horses dogs lying next to her on the floor. Why you ask? Oh, because my BIL that she's divorcing is apparently a fucking psycho lately and we didn't think it was safe for her to stay at her house tonight. (Like seriously not safe.) Since Grace and Hannah are sleeping over at my parents' house tonight (and Hannah's terrified of dogs), and my sister only lives about a mile down the street from me, it made more sense for her to come here tonight than go to our mom and dad's house. So here I am, the self-proclaimed non-lover of canines, with two gigantic German Shepherds on my living room floor, a sister who needs to wake the fuck up and realize that it's time to pull out the can of whoop ass sleeping on my sofa, and a brother who has been sobbing all day because his best feline buddy is now "in a better place".

Never mind that I also put my own cat to sleep today, leaving us completely petless for the first time in over 12 years.

And that I went from having 2 cats to having no cats within 2 months.

And that I have a friggin' toothache that would send a grown man to his knees, but  that I'm ignoring because I don't have dental insurance and because the last time I went to the dentist he seriously wanted to pull out all of my upper teeth and give me a full set of dentures, which I guarantee you is going to happen in the next few years, but that I don't want to deal with right now.

And that I'm flat broke.

Oh, and that I have my period.

Yup. Life is big fat bowl of cherries right now, lemme tell ya.

Is it 2008 yet? Because I'm really looking forward to 2008.