Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. ~Irene Peter
~ Another kid-free day for me. Ahhhh... (Not that I don't adore my children. But you other mothers can relate to the relief of a silent home and total alone time for a few hours, I'm sure.)
~ Sent them off and finally started that book I've been claiming to read for the past three weeks. So far, it's pretty good.
~ Dealt with a multitude of computer reboots and "fatal errors" this morning. Stupid, old piece of shit...
~ Wondered if I'm the only person that gets those painful zits in their nostrils. The ones you feel compelled to pick at, despite the horrendous pain, making everyone around you that happens to be looking think that you're just digging for a big ol' booger.
~ Managed to get showered and dressed by noon. Go me!
~ Changed my blog template. I'm still not really sure why to be honest with you, but I was so over that other boring one I had.
~ Changed my avatar too. I apologize to anyone who is confused by the changes. However, I have complete confidence that you are all extremely intelligent people that will adjust. And if not, well, it's been nice knowing you. ;) (I'm kidding.)
~ Got a call from some random insurance agency that saw my resume online, asking me to attend an "orientation regarding great job opportunities." Um yeah... no thanks.
~ Spent over an hour trying to match up a huge basket of about 75 (no joke) loose socks into pairs that have been in the basket for months now (again, no joke). Managed to match up about 20 pair, but still have a ton of socks with no mate. Seriously, who the hell is eating them? Because I have no clue where they are. So if someone or something isn't actually consuming them, it's anybody's guess where they are.
~ Got a surprise visit from the electrician, coming to run a few more wires before the kitchen countertops go in next week.
~ While talking to him, I mentioned my idea of prostituting myself in order to bring in some cash.
~ He laughed. Wasn't so sure how to take that.
~ Was beyond thrilled when Steve asked if I wanted Pizza Hut for dinner. Dude are you kidding me? Does a bear shit in the woods?
~ Wondered who made up the saying, "Does a bear shit in the woods?"
~ Reminded Steve (for the 8 billionth time) that when the children are in the same room as him and he's channel surfing, that he really needs to pay more attention. Because when he's using the arrow button to flip through every channel, even if the Disney Channel that is currently showing "Monsters, Inc." is only viewable for half of a nanosecond, Grace will indeed see it and will throw a fit until he turns it back on. Jackass.
~Managed to get the kids and Steve to bed with little argument and no threats.
~ Drank beer. Lots and lots of good, ice cold beer out of the tap. Ahhh...
~ Wondered where the hell some of you readers came from. Now don't get me wrong... I LOVE you guys! But see, EE, Katherine, Emily, Melissa, etc. all know each other from our mom internet boards. But then there's Tink, Slacker Mom, Pink Rocket, and that lovely chap, good ol' Anonymous, among others. How'd you find us? Are all of you friends with one of us and then found us through our lists of other blogs we read? Did you stumble upon us? I'm only asking because I'll sit here thinking, "Hmmm... for all I know, Tink and Katherine are like best friends in real life and I'm sitting here thinking she's a complete stranger." LMAO! But regardless of where you came from or how you got here, I'd just like to say that I think you all ROCK and I'm glad you're here. :) (But seriously... where the hell did you come from? LOL!)
1. Totally jealous of your kid-free day. I love my kids too, but by the end of the day I was ready for some alone time with a 2-4.
ReplyDelete2. You're not the only person who gets those painful zits in their nostrils. I also get them in the crease of my nose and when I pop them my whole head starts to throb.
3. I love your new look...but seriously dude, your avatar kinda reminds me of a Precious Moments figurine. ;)
4. I'll bet Tink and I would be good friends if we like, you know, could recognize each other's faces and lived in the same country. ;)
OMG Katherine! I just totally snarfed beer when I read the one about you and Tink. I LOL and almost pissed myself too. You have officially made me have a geriatric moment. ;) LMFAO!
ReplyDeleteAnd goddamn you! Off to change my avatar... [sigh] Scumbag. Grumble... grumble...
You know what biotch? (LOL!) I'm NOT changing it. Ya know why? Because that chick totally looks like me. Curly hair pulled back in a ponytail... blue eyes (actually, I can't tell if hers are blue, but whatever)...
ReplyDeleteOK.OK. So my ponytail isn't nearly as sexy as hers. And I don't wear cute little tank tops. And she's in a seductive pose against a wall while I'm usually holding a Miller Lite with a Marlboro Light hanging out of my mouth, but I can pretend a little bit on the Internet, right? So bite me! LMAO!
Good, keep the avatar it is totally turning me on.
ReplyDeleteHow you doin'?
Dear Emily,
ReplyDeleteSeek help.
Love,
Me
(LOL)
I like the new avatar too. She sort of looks like she's humping the wall though. So THAT'S what you do on those kid free days...drink beer and hump the wall. Damn...I think I'll try that tomorrow...;)
ReplyDeleteI TOLD you........I loved your other avatar!!!! It was very "you". This one......[sigh].......I don't like change. :(
ReplyDeleteYes Carrie. That's exactly what I do... Drink beer. Smoke cigarettes. And hump the wall. But you do naked backflips, so you win. :)
ReplyDeleteEE: The one that said, "Geek Girl" was very "me"? Thanks. Thanks a fucking lot. LMAO! (I only changed it b/c that one was really poor quality because I had just snagged the image from the front of a T-shirt you can buy online. If I can find another that's more "me", I'll change it again, OK? LOL!
And Carrie! Check your email in a bit! We got the package yesterday!!!
ReplyDeleteAlien, I just happened to stumble across your blog one day while blog surfing, and now I'm addicted!!
ReplyDelete;-)
My senior year of college, I was voted into this "society" by the college administrators. It's a long, complicated thing...but the first thing the 12 society members did was have dinner with the college president.
ReplyDeleteSo we're sitting at dinner and he's talking about how we're leaders and this and that. After a long time, he asked if we had any questions.
The president of the student government association raises his hand. "Father," he asks, "How come to do laundry on this campus, it costs two quarters and a sock?"
It's not just you...
Dude, she looks like a little girl on the cusp of puberty.
ReplyDeleteI mean you're right, she looks exactly like you.
(((Katherine)))
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna miss you when Alien kills you for making fun of her avatar....
[and it does so not look like a little girl....I think she is sexxxxxxxy]
I agree......it is sexxy!!
ReplyDeleteLove your new look! Very chic.
ReplyDeleteAnd um, good for you if you think that little girl looks like you. I would kill for that kind of self-confidence. *snort* LMAO!!
You guys are killing me!! I assure you, I didn't choose that one because it looks sexxxxy. I chose it because it was the ONLY one that had even a remote hint of curl in her hair. All the rest had long, straight red or blonde or black hair. I figured I should at least choose one that sort of had some of my physical characteristics. You know... like Katherine's. Baahaaahaaa!
ReplyDeleteAnd Melissa, nope. No clue how the other chicks found us. LMAO! (But I'm glad they did.)
Janet, I guess I should've mentioned that we actually KNOW our electrician. Well, Steve does. It's a small town, remember? LOL! (And he's old enough to be my father. LOL!)
Hey Beth! You just shut up! LMFAO! It does NOT look like. But if I wanted to, I COULD pull my hair back into a ponytail and have a curl or two dangling. OK, so that's pretty much where the resemblance ends, but still. PIMP!
ReplyDelete(And I now have to take an actual picture of myself in that exact same pose so you can all see the uncanny resemblence. LOL!)
ROFL. Oh shit you guys have me busting a gut. OK... 1st. The sock thing. Didn't you know? Certain dryers have a portal in the back (like that armoire to Narnia) that open up when you turn it on. The socklings float off to Socktopia.
ReplyDelete2nd: I have no idea how I got here. It's like those nights where you get drunk and wake up at home but don't know how you arrived. Well.. Not so much like that. But I'm glad to be here.
3rd. I heart Mama T! I think she needs to move to Florida. I'll buy her a decent housewarming present and everything... Probably an electric can opener. ;)
Naked back flips...dear Lord, woman. You just made choke on my coffee. I'm PIMP over here!
ReplyDeleteLOL. That's why I picked my avatar. Because she looks SO MUCH like me. :)
ReplyDeleteTink: [Gasp!] How DARE you assume I've had drunken nights where I woke up and didn't know where I was. The horrors! I'm appalled.
ReplyDelete(Actually, the worst is when you don't know where you are AND you don't know who that dude lying next to you is. That's always fun.)
*cough* slut *cough*
ReplyDeleteUm, yeah, I hated that, too. *blush*
Hey Beth, I actually prefer "whore" or "hussy", but "slut" works too. :)
ReplyDeletehow about "tart"? I didn't have the balls to call you a whore. LMAO!
ReplyDelete....or me in that past life where occasionally figuring out where I was in the morning was a challenge. ;-)
ReplyDeleteWTH do you need balls for? LOL! What am I going to do? Drive there and kick your ass? LOL!
ReplyDeleteAnd I personally like whores. They're much more fun to hang out with. ;)
I'm a follower! I found you through Katherine's blog!
ReplyDeleteI'm stalking you! I know what you did last summer! Don't look behind the door!
I totally stumbled on mama tulips blog, through the next blog thing. And started following hers. Then I started reading your posts and actually thought you were funny.... (I may have changed my mind on that one *snicker*) and I am stuck reading your blog. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI think I'm just hanging on to see your kitchen finally get finished.
PR: Dude, I'm lucky if I know what I did last summer. So if you know, than you truly have a gift.
ReplyDeleteAnd SM: What the hell? "Hey, I thought you were funny, but now you suck. And as soon as I see pictures of that kitchen of yours, I am soooo outta here!" LMAO! *smooch*
your chick has botox lips and HUGE scarey eyes....
ReplyDeleteOmg. Geenalyn's right! It looks like one of those Bratz dolls. Has anyone else been disturbed by their lack of a nose. I mean, the big head is scary enough.
ReplyDeleteAnd Beth... The term is tits. You didn't have the "tits" to call her a whore. You should be glad you didn't have the "balls." Who the hell wants those hairy things hanging off of them?
"Your chick has botox lips and HUGE scary eyes...." says the girl who just changed her avatar to one that looks like a stoned 10-year-old white rapper child.
ReplyDeleteAnd LOL Tink about the tits and balls.
I was just posting that I thoughtit looked like a Bratz doll and my IE crashed....came back and Tink had said it for me! LOL
ReplyDeleteStill doesn't explain why I am oddly attracted to the avatar, though...I swear I've never had any unusual fantasies about my girls' dolls....
"says the girl who just changed her avatar to one that looks like a stoned 10-year-old white rapper child"
ReplyDeleteyou don't like my tired mommy avatar...i'm hurt LOL
Geena's just jealous that your avatar is hotter than her avatar.
ReplyDeletelol
pigtails are WAY sexier then a ponytail
ReplyDeletepigtails are WAY sexier then a ponytail
ReplyDeleteLMTO, Tink! Thanks for the correction. How I wish it wasn't true....hmmm, maybe I'll call EEs doc....
ReplyDeleteGeena, did you seriously just call the typical 5-year-old child's hair-do sexy? Because if you did, that's disturbing. LOL!
ReplyDelete(And you have be a certain type of adult woman to pull off pigtails. I for, one, am not one of them.)
yes only certain adult women can pull off pigtails..and only on those women is it sexy
ReplyDeleteI rock the pigtails! (when my hair is shorter) Ususally I go with the bandana and pigtail combo which sounds odd yet it works for me, ask Kappy, she has a picture of me like that.
ReplyDeleteThe reason for my commentary is to say that we too have a "Sock Basket" and whenever the kids get on our nerves we sentence them to find X number of matching pairs! HAHA! I hate sorting socks!
I am in full agreement. Pigtails are sexier than a ponytail. But a ponytail will do too. :-) I think a woman's neck is sexy with the hair pulled back!!
ReplyDeleteOk that anonymous comment above me just got me all turned on. Alien, I think your avatar is cool, it reminds me of Kappy!
ReplyDeleteWow. You guys are a real boost for the self-esteem today, lemme tell ya. That avatar is sexy... But that avatar looks NOTHING like you... That avatar is ugly... And kind of looks like you... Pigtails are hotter than ponytails... But you only wear ponytails... That avatar turns me on, but it reminds me of someone else totally... You used to be funny, but now you're not... I'm ditching you as soon as your kitchen is done...
ReplyDeleteYeah. Fantastic. I'm going to go sit in the corner in the fetal position now, sucking my thumb, chugging beer, and telling myself that at least my mommy thinks I'm cool.
(LMAO!)
Ok, whoa. Pigtails CAN be hot on the *right* person. My sister pulls them off and looks hot. Me....not so much. LMAO
ReplyDeleteAlien's avatar IS smokin', it's not just you Em. (and huh, it DOES look a lot like Kappy....)
My point about your other one is it fit you personality. Not that I *think* you are geek, lmao, just that it was something I would have chosen for you. Your new one is just.....IDK, not "you" (IMO). Ok wait, yes, the HAIR. The hair DOES look like yours. ;)
SMOOCH
I think it's the eyes that are turning me off of your avatar. Eyes shouldn't be that slanty and twice the size of your forehead.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the eyes are a little "off".
ReplyDeleteI personally love the whole "do me NOW, I DARE you" expression.
LMAO
I LOVE that expression..........who doesn't?
ReplyDelete;-)
check me out now ;)
ReplyDeleteUm, you guys do realize she's a cartoon, right? Because you're all sort of starting to scare me now.
ReplyDeleteI am in a sarcastic mood today, it has been a stressssful couple of days...
ReplyDelete(yes, I put extra s or 2 in there because I know Alien loves that. Plus no capital on my yes, she loves that too.) :)
I am trying to remember all the other blog pet peeves she has...she's already in fetal position, chugging her beer, we could really get her going now.
*big grin*
PS Did you realize that the avatar doesn't have individual fingers?
ReplyDeleteJust thought if we were beating this thing to death, I might as well get a punch in.
It's Friday afternoon, our minds are starting to wander (I guess mine is mostly out to pasture anyway)!
ReplyDelete:-)
LOL Anon- no, WHO doesn't like that expression?!?!! ;)
ReplyDeleteOMG! You guys are KILLING me today! LOL!
ReplyDeleteAnd Slacker Mom, you almost had it. But you forgot to run your entire comment as one big, large paragraph so that I wouldn't be able to read it. Try harder next time. ;)
I am PIMP!!! She doesn't have individulal fingers! Good eye, Slacker Mom.
ReplyDeleteWhat's worse than big paragraphs is people who type using one letter to symbolize a word, or tacking on extra letters at the end of words, like the way my younger brother does when I chat with him online:
"heyy how r u i g2g c ya"
LMAO Katherine, that looks like something you read on a bad porn chat line.....
ReplyDeleteummm, not that I would know, LMAO (way to go there EE) [shaking head]
*snort*
ReplyDeleteOK, we could so live closer and it would be fun and we could be twinkies! I have a huge basket of socks. And being Lazy like I am I just toss them into their drawers and don't worry about if their socks match or not. If someone is paying that much attention to their socks, they need to get a life. LOL.
ReplyDelete