Thirteen Things About Me You May or May Not Already Know 1. I was a member of the Young Democrats club my freshman year of college. 2. I was a member of the Young Republicans club my sophmore through senior years of college. 3. I own about 15 blank journals. I buy them, but then don't want to "ruin" them by writing in them. 4. I've never eaten a single bite of the pig at any of our annual pig roasts. 5. I get totally turned on by long-haired, guitar playing, artsy dudes and have NO idea how I ended up falling head over heels in love with Steve. 6. Frank Sinatra, James Taylor, and Paul Simon are three of my favorite singers. (Steve hates all of them.) 7. I used to be able to aim my spit and could spit directly into a coffee can that was a good 6 or 7 feet away from me. 8. One of my nicknames in college was "Hole," given to me by my oh-so-funny gay friend, Jeffrey. 9. Speaking of college, I was in charge of refilling the salad bar in the cafeteria my freshman year, but (thankfully) landed a job in the campus post office for the remainder of my college life. 10. I once partied with a bunch of professional WWF wrestlers. I got totally trashed with Bam Bam Bigelow, and could've had kinky wresting sex with Jim "the Anvil" Neidhart if I had so desired. (I didn't.) 11. I'm missing two teeth. 12. I think John Malkovich is totally hot. 13. One of my biggest pet peeves is people that talk while yawning. Drives me insane.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it." ~Author Unknown

I didn't really do enough today to warrent a bulleted list like usual, so I'll just throw out some random stuff...


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He's Quite the Charmer...

Steve: "I need a quickie before we leave." (He had come home from work early and he had to shower and get dressed before we could go to the tile place to pick a backsplash.)

Me: "Um, at least shower first. You smell like dirt."

Steve: "Oh c'mon. All you gotta do is pull your pants down quick. Let's go."

Me (shaking head): "And to think that chicks everywhere think I'm lucky to have you. Uh huh. I sure am."

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Backsplash Hell

It's done. It took us two and a half loooooong hours at the tile place, but w finally decided on and ordered our backsplash tiles. Every single other customer in the store had come and gone by the time we made our final decision. And we changed our minds completely four times. I'm not talking changing our minds from one shade of green to another. I'm talking complete changes, like from light tan tumbled marble tiles to an entire pewter backsplash. God bless the saleswoman because she just laughed as we changed our minds over, and over, and over, and over...

We finally decided on a combination of slate, copper and bronze tiles in various sizes. The slate is called copper slate and has gorgeous red/copper/tan tones in it.

The pattern of the slate tiles will include them being straight across at some points, as well as on the diagonal (like in the picture above). The design also includes copper and broze accent tiles and elements (similar to the ones in the first picture). We both LOVE our choices and can't wait to see it when it's done.

However, let me just tell you, that based on the invoice from the tile place, I really need to get a job ASAP. I believe we may have sacrificed our new refrigerator for a few more weeks, due to teh ridiculous price of metal accent tiles. When told the price of our soon-to-be backsplash (he asked... we didn't just blurt out our total), my father-in-law replied that he could've given us some pennies to glue on the wall and saved us a TON of money. Yeah. Funny stuff dude.

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American Idol Jabber...

So let's talk. I'm LOVING AI this season so far. Holy group of talented people, Batman. But anyway, a bunch of 'em are really good. Some are just so-so or downright suck, etc. Who cares. As long as that perfect speciman of a man, Ace, is on the show and they keep showing shots of his equally hot brother in the audience, I don't give a rat's ass who stays and who goes on the show. Oh...My...God...

I couldn't stop drooling and had to muster up every ounce of my willpower not to shove my hand down my lounge pants and start"rubbing the genie" if you know what I mean. Whew!

And while we're talking about people to keep on the show, let's not forgot good ol' Taylor Hicks. We adore him. I have never witnessed a happier person in my life. Seriously dude. I don't know what wacky weed you're smoking to make you act the way you do, but keep smokin' it. Because I have never laughed as hard as I did tonight when you finished your song. I was literally crying from laughing so hard when you stood there yelling, "1!!!... 2!!!... 1!!!... 2!!!" as Ryan told America to vote for number 12 if they had liked what they'd seen. You my friend, are a true gift to the human race.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"A hard man is good to find." ~Mae West

~ Woke to the sight of cat puke in the middle of the floor. [sigh]

~ Had a fairly good (i.e., uneventful) morning.

~ Ignored Hannah's cries and whines while standing under the scalding hot water of the shower. (I don't care if Grace called you a Poopyhead, Hon. Mommy's trying to veg. Go away, will ya?)

~ Washed a buttload of dishes again.

~ Decided I will never, ever, ever not have a built-in soap dispenser in my kitchen again. Whatever life may throw at me from here on out, it had damn well better include one of those suckers.

~ Finally filled the ice cube trays and put them in the freezer. They've been sitting on our windowsill for a good 3 or 4 months now. (Jesus, I am a lazy son of a bitch, no?)

~ Cleaned the sawdust out of one cabinet, in order to put my freshly washed crockpot in it. (Shut up. It's progress.)

~ Filled out a 500 page survey I received in the mail regarding our grocery shopping habits. I'm still not sure why I even bothered, except that while doing it, I could say, "Just a second. Mommy's doing work here," whenever the girls asked me for something.

~ Received a call from another person regarding a job. However, I'm not sure of the details because when I picked up and the woman asked for me, I assumed it was some sort of telemarketer or someone telling me I owe them money, so I said I wasn't here. After she explained who it was, it seemed like a bad idea to say, "Psych! Just kidding! This is Allison. I was just fucking around."

~ Was pleasantly surprised when my father-in-law swung by to drop off a container of homemade chicken noodle soup (I'm still not sure why). Sometimes living near family isn't so bad after all.

~ Finally mailed my thank you cards for the girls' Christmas gifts. (Shut up. It's progress.)

~ Took the girls to visit my grandfater in the hospital where Grace proceeded to ask him questions about every thing in the room. God bless patient great-grandfathers.

~ Thanked god for Steve when he made comments three times throughout the evening about how great the house is looking and how he's noticed. Awww... just when you thought he was nothing but a pain-in-the-ass, anal retentive dickbag, he goes and says something nice. [happy sigh]

~ Finally received a comment from our good friend GB, whom I thought had deserted us. And then he called me "Babe." [giggle]

~ Was slightly disturbed that I got all excited when he called me Babe. Shit. I'm becoming a little hussy, just like EE. [heavy sigh] (I'm kidding EE. Please don't hurt me.)

~ Became paranoid that he's actually my good friend from kindergarten with the same initials, pretending to be married with kids, reading my blog and telling all of our friends about my psychotic tendencies (as if they didn't know) and my "Fran" bowling shirt. So Gerard, if it's you, knock it off, or I'll tell our friends about the porn stories you used to write for fun in Jr. High.

Ummm... Alrighty then.

allison -- [adjective]: Banshee-like 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Conversation with Grace (AKA: Ask Me Again Why I Drink. I Dare You.)

Me: (after telling the girls 8 billion times to clean up their stuff) "Get in here and clean up this playroom! NOW!"

Grace (whining): "You said to clean up the make up. I did that already."

Me: "No! I said all of this stuff."

(Several minutes pass with me threatening to send her to her room (which she hates) and she keeps telling me she's not going to clean up and she doesn't care what I say. I eventually win and she's cleaning up her legos.)

Me (half talking to myself and half bitching at no one in particular): "I'm tired of cleaning up after you guys. I clean up all day long and then you guys make another mess and I have to clean it up again because you don't. I'm sick of it."

Grace (with a tone that implied I'm the dumbest human being on the planet): "Well DUH, Mom! We're kids." (Complete with eye roll.)

Me: "Yeah. So?"

Grace: "Well, duh... kids know how to make messes, not clean them up."

Me (laughing so hard I'm crying): "Grace, you suck."

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." ~Benjamin Franklin

I made some baby steps today in terms of the new "goals" in my life. I got a ton of stuff done, felt good about it, ate better than usual for the most part, and had some fun with the girls. There's still a lot more I have to do and things I need to address personally, but it's a start.

In reading my entries the past two days, I sound awfully "deep" about this shit. LOL! It's not nearly that interesting or dramatic. I sound like I'm trying to find god or my inner peace or something. But it's nothing even close to being that intense.

When more than one of you emailed me asking if I'm OK, I thought maybe an explanation was in order. Basically, I've been in a personal "funk" for awhile. Not depressed, because I'm not sad. Just unmotivated. I see things that need to be done and I just don't do them. I can't even tell you why I don't do them. I just don't.

I've also found myself becoming more and more anti-social. Friends call, I see them on my caller ID, and I don't pick up. And then I don't call them back. And worse, I don't really care that I don't call them back (sorry Melissa).

I hate to make phone calls, go anywhere, or do anything. Once I get to the place I'm going, I'm good to go and usually have a blast. Take Grace's gymnastics class for example. I enjoy sitting there and talking to the other mothers I've met. We laugh, we make fun of our kids (shut up... you all do it too), and I have a good time. And yet, every Friday, I have to psych myself up all day long and remind myself that I like to go. It's fucked up to be frank.

The second part of my "funk" is the way I feel physically. I haven't gained a ton of weight or anything, but I'm definitely not in shape either. I'm always tired and have little to no energy. I'm usually stressed out enough so that one little thing can set me off, and I feel old. Way older than I am and way older than I should feel. But if one looks at my typical daily diet and sleep schedule, and then throws in my affection for Marlboro Lights, it's pretty damn obvious what the problem is.

So I'm going to try to make some healthier choices in terms of my eating. And I'm trying to drink water instead of the 3 or 4 sodas I drink every day. I'd like to start exercising, but with me currently looking for a job, I don't want to join a gym until I see if I can even get to a gym once I'm working again. But I definitely need to do something, so I'm tossing around a few ideas for how I can get a bit more in shape.

See? None of that is very exciting, now is it? LOL! But thank you all for your good luck wishes, hugs, and concerns. I really am OK. I just need to stop imagining the life and lifestyle I want to have, and do something to get it. Because as much as I would like it to happen, I know that the Life Fairy isn't going to come sprinkle her magic dust on me and give me the life I want.

Oh, and a PS for all of you gossip mongers out there (and you know you're out there). I would like to state, for the record, that Steve and I are fine. There is nothing wrong with our relationship (other than the fact that it exists at all... LOL!), we're happy as can be, and there will be no divorce papers filed anytime soon (that I'm aware of anyway). These are all things I've decided to do on my own and his opinion/actions/etc. in no way, shape or form influenced my recent revelations. OK. Carry on...

Moving on...

OK. So beyond the asswipe moms I posted about below, here are a few other tidbits from my day today...

~ Found it highly amusing that I finally have a sink with running water in my kitchen after a year (literally), and after washing every goddamn dish in my tiny pedistal sink in my bathroom, that I'm totally out of dishwashing liquid. [sigh]

~ Decided to make some fairly big changes in my life so as to avoid hurting myself, my husband, my children, and other random people that get in my way and annoy me.

~ Was pretty proud when Grace beat the other three girls she bowled with at the birthday party today. ("Beat" as in won. Not as in "kicked the shit out of...")

~ Witnessed enough boys at the above mentioned party to be glad I have two girls.

~ Almost shit myself when I saw what happened at the very end of "Grey's Anatomy". George, for the love of god, you idiot.... DON'T DO IT!!

~ Almost had a spontaneous orgasm when I saw the dude Addison cheated with. Seriously, sweetheart, you are not nearly hot enough to have landed the two dudes you got to screw.

~ Once again, visited my sister and thanked the lord above that we don't have any canine creatures in our home.

~ Realized that I have NO earthly idea where the Olympics are being held right now. I couldn't even tell you in what country. Thta's bad. I suck.

~ Sold Grace's first raffle ticket for T-Ball. Yay me.

~ Nodded off three times while typing this. I guess it's time for bed.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The problem with children is that you have to put up with their parents." ~Charles DeLint

What the fuck is wrong with some parents? Seriously. When did it become OK to give birth to children, but then decide that the act of raising and disciplining them was the job of all other parents of the world? Asses.

Grace had a birthday party today for her little friend, Hayley, from daycare. It was at a bowling alley and she was so excited because she's never been bowling before. But anyway, I digress.

So we get to this party and a buttload of kids are there. I start talking to some of the moms that I know from other birthday parties throughout the years. I've always gotten along with them for the most part. We've made conversation while watching our children get high on sugary treats and pinata-induced adrenaline on more than one occasion.

So anyway, we're all in a back room of the building, set up for the party, waiting while some adults in the actual bowling area are finishing up a tournament. As 20 four-year-olds zip around the room, screaming and yelling, one mom makes a joke about heading to the bar part of the alley. I sort of chuckle thinking, "Hell yeah, sister!" but blowing it off as a pipe dream.

But about 2 minutes later, she looks at me, says, "We weren't kidding," and her and two other mothers leave their out-of-control kids in the room with us while they head over to grab a Miller Lite in the bar. What the fuck?

OK. So then it's time for the kids to actually bowl. We all head out to the lanes and Hayley's mom gets the kids split into 4 kids per alley. She puts the three "abandoned" children together (and they are known to be trouble makers when together), along with one other boy who was there with his dad. Grace is in the lane next to them with three other girls.

So Grace and her little girlfriends are bowling, having a blast, while ALL of the girls' moms (myself included) are on the lane with them, helping them, cheering them on, keeping things under control, etc.). Next to us are the three heathens and the other little boy. The little boy's dad was down on the lane too, keeping an eye on his son. Where were the moms of the three little bastards? On the next level up, drinking their booze, eating their deep friend onion rings, and gossiping.

Ya know what? I normally have no problem with that. I serve alcohol at my children's parties, so that part didn't bother me. And I know that you can't possibly watch your child every minute at a birthday party. And if your children are behaving, there's no reason why you can't let them do their thing while you enjoy your "adult time". But when your children are literally wrestling in the lane, down on the floor with each other in headlocks, perhaps (and this is just a suggestion), you can do more than look down from your perch and say, "Stop it Danny," before going back to drinking and shoving food down your throat. Because you know what? Danny didn't stop. And neither did Tyler or Trevor. And yet, you don't even have the common courtesy to pretend you care, by at least telling them to "stop it" for a second time from your seat.

So consider this an open letter to the three of you... The next time your pain in the ass child steals my daughter's bowling ball repeatedly, or runs over into our lane to act like a little shit, or decides to tackle his friend in the middle of the alley, I will take it upon myself to discipline him. You know, since you obviously can't be bothered.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I hate water - fish fuck in it." ~W.C. Fields

A Few Updates -- News, Going Ons, Fun Stuff, & Other Shit

~ As of 2:00 PM today, we have RUNNING WATER in our kitchen. Sweet jesus, I thought we'd never see the day. I was washing dishes within 5 minutes and may not use my dishwasher for another year, just because it brings me such joy not to have to wash dishes in our tiny bathroom sink.

~ We also have working heat in our kitchen. I am now warm and wet. Does it get any better than that?

~ I have had funny as all hell email exchanges all weekend with an old co-worker of mine. Said co-worker is my friend from my most recent employer. This co-worker hooked me up into his LinkedIn account this weekend and by some small world sort of miracle, he's friends with a guy from my first place of employment over 10 years ago. So this second guy emails me telling me they don't currently have a tech writer at my old company and that I should submit a resume. The problem is that I got fired from that place for reasons that I'd rather not get into, but I assure you, weren't illegal. Just a little, um, "inappropriate" in the work place. (But it was always after hours and we were consenting adults, so I don't see what the big deal was...) So I have ignored the second guy's email. But through my friend, I have found out that the dude may have put two and two together and Guy #2 emailed my friend saying, "If my email about Allison was correct, it would be foolish for her to submit a resume." Gee, ya think? LMAO!

~ Had two birthday parties (one kid's and one adult's) today. We have another kid's party tomorrow. I'm really sick of birthday parties these days and wondering why the hell so many people had sex in May. What gives?

~ Secured another (new) 6 guests for this year's pig roast. I'm considering handing out souveneirs this year.

~ Found out all sorts of cool details from "Lost" from my sister's neighbor tonight that I have totally missed even though I've seen every single episode. Seriously... am I blind?

~ Signed Grace up for T-ball this morning. She gets to wear cute little baseball pants. She's pumped.

~ While signing her up, I saw a note that all parents are required to work the refreshment stand at least twice during the season. Dude, I am so not a refreshment stand sort of mom. What if I drop an "F bomb" while working it? Shit.

~ A future Daddy/Daughter day is now in the works to go buy a baseball glove before the season starts.

~ So my friend from high school happened to be one of the volunteers at sign ups. I had to try to figure out what size T-shirt and baseball pants she needs. I commented that Grace already has a little "beer belly". My friend (a guy I might add) says, "Ahhh... takes after her mom, huh?" LMAO! Fucker. (FYI: He was referring to the "beer" part more than the "belly" part. I assure you.)

~Got another email on Friday about a contract job and a voice mail about "several writing opportunities" that same day (haven't called back yet). Screw it. I want the job at the office with the dead guy on the wall.

~ Everytime I visit my sister's home and try to eat my damn food, my hatred for dogs increases by about a billion. GO AWAY! It's gross!!!!

~ I think I've convinced Steve into growing his hair long. Like Ace long. Hell, he's halfway there already. Mmmmm... (Jesus, he's hot...)

It's a Cloudy Day...

QUOTES OF THE DAY

(In honor of Tink...)

"If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ~Douglas Adams

"Thank heaven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine." ~A.P. Herbert

"The best way to stop smoking is to carry wet matches." ~Author Unknown

Go get 'em girl! Good luck!

Interview Review...

So I donned my black dress pants and fuscia twin sweater set (blech) and headed for the interview an hour away. The office was actually about a mile away from my old company, just on the other side of the mall (LOL), so I found it OK, but then got lost in the parking lot. [sigh]

I eventually found the office building and headed inside where I was met by the receptionist and then led into a conference room by the recruiter, who told me my first interview would be with Jim, the "manager" of the technical writers.

While waiting, I notice an 8 x 10" framed picture of a rather hot guy on the wall outside of the conference room, with a plaque of some sort hanging under it. I kind of chuckle and wonder if they have an Employee of the Month gig or something.

So anyway, in walks Jim. Everything's going OK and I'm explaining what I did at my last job (and hoping it made sense) and doing fairly well. We got to a point (an hour later) where he asked if I had any questions and I cautiously approached the subject of how flexible they are with business hours and working from home, without wanting to sound like I had no intentions of coming to work if hired.

I ask and before he can answer me, I start rambling and say something along the lines of, "You know... on those days when you're not really too sick to work, but you also don't want to come into the office and blow snot all over people." Nice. Real nice. As if I come into my place of employment and practice my air hanky techniques on my co-workers' keyboards.

(I also think I used the word "bastard" at some point, but I have no recollection of whom I was referring to or in what context. I do know it wasn't referring to him, so I guess it's all good.)

So after a long hour, he says it's time for the next interviewer - a tech writer. He leaves and I again stare at the hot guy's picture outside the door while waiting.

A few minutes later, in walks this woman, Lisa. She seems kind of shy and like she'd rather be doing anything other than talking to human beings. Don't get me wrong... she was a very nice lady. Just not very talkative. So she has these weird things on her face. All of these bumps. They almost looked like acne, but they weren't red at all (matched her skin perfectly) and were bigger than zits. They almost looked like moles that never turned brown or grew hairs. So anyway, I spent the entire 30 minutes she was interviewing me hoping it didn't appear as if I was staring at the growths on her face and only half paying attention to what she was saying. [sigh]

So she eventually tells me that next interviewer up is Ted. She leaves to go get him and I stare again at the Employee of the Month picture (or so I think). Ted walks in and introduces himself. Here's where it all went downhill...

TED: "Hi! I'm Ted. It's nice to meet you."
ME: "Thanks! You too!"... [pointing out the door to Mr. Employee's picture]... "I swear, when I leave here, I'm going over to look at that guy's picture. Is he Employee of the Month or what?" [said in a half-joking, break the ice sort of way]
TED [becoming somber]: "Oh. That's Earl. He was a great guy. Everyone loved him. He was driving his motorcycle to the shore for the weekend in 1997 and he got killed when a truck hit him."

Well, Jesus H. Christ. That wasn't an awkward moment or anything. FUCK! I stumble out an apology, but the guy was totally cool with the whole thing. [sigh]

After that shining moment passed, he warned me he was going to ask me some "weird questions". Bring it on dude...

TED: "Desribe your perfect work environment."
ME [laughing]: "Oh my god, you're killing me! I hate these open-ended questions..."

Ted just keeps smiling his goofy, geeky smile, waiting for me to answer.

What I was thinking: "Totally naked at my computer, chugging beer and chain smoking."
What I actually said: was some half-bullshit answer about great people to work with and a company I'd enjoy working for, blah, blah, blah.

So it's time for the next question...

TED: "How many tennis balls are in the air right now in New Zealand?"
ME: "What?" [thinking... "What are you smoking, dude? And can I have some?]
TED: "Tennis balls. New Zealand. How many are up in the air right now?"
ME [staring at him blankly]: "OMG! You're serious?" [laughing]

I then started babbling on and on about tennis balls and New Zealand, and do they even play tennis in New Zealand, and is it dark right now in New Zealand, etc. etc. Finally say "zero" with no rhyme or reason behind that answer.

So we're talking and he mentions how his son is an Emmy award winning producer of a news program, his older daughter works with immigrants at a non-profit organization, and his younger daughter is going to school to become a youth minister.

ME: "Oh my god! How'd you manage that? Having three such great kids. My daughters are so going to grow up and be strippers. [sigh]... Not that there's anything wrong with strippers, mind you...."

Seriously. How am I missing that connection between my brain and my mouth? At least he laughed.

So after another half hour consisting more of small talk than actual "interview" questions, he leads me out to the recruiter's office, where I'm supposed to finish up. I figure, "OK. Now I'm good. The recruiter's not going to ask me any actual questions, right?"

Um wrong. [sigh] So among the questions asked...

HER: "In your years of working, have you ever missed a deadline?"
ME [laughing]: "Um, yes. But I swear it wasn't my fault." (Which it wasn't.)

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HER: "Describe the perfect manager you want to work for."
ME: [I give some long bullshit answer and say that what I don't work well with is a micro manager. I then go on to tell this story about a guy at my last company that came to me every hour to see what progress I had made.] "Oh my god! He was driving me insane!"
HER [laughing]: "So what did you do? Did you say anything to him?"
ME: "Yeah. I told him to go away and leave me alone." (Which is true.)
HER [eyes getting really big and sort of laughing]: "Did you really? You told him to go away?"
ME [blushing slightly]: "Uh yeah. Is that the wrong answer?"

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HER: "So if we hire you when can you start?"
ME: "I'm not doing anything tomorrow. I'll be in around 9:00 if that's OK with you."

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HER: "Well, we are interviewing other candidates, but..."
ME [interrupting and totally deadpanning while acting shocked]: "WHAT?! You're kidding right? I thought I was the only one..."
(Luckily she realized I was kidding.)

Finally we wrapped it up and I headed out. So the bottom line is that these people either absolutely hated me, or feel so sorry for what an idiot I am, that the'll hire me out of pity. LOL! I guess I'll know next week...

Thirteen Things I HATE To Do... 1. Blowdry my hair. 2. Put on makeup. 3. Step on a LEGO. Owwwwwwwww! 4. Clean up pee accidents. 5. Give Salinger his laxitive. 6. Get the kids in and out of the car. 7. Write checks. 8. Do Steve's business stuff on the computer. 9. Drink beverages out of a can. 10. Paint my nails. 11. Wear socks. 12. Refill the girls' sippy cups a billion times throughout the day. 13. Go to childrens' birthday parties.

Zzzzz...

OK. So I have an already REALLY long recap of my interview today and I'm only halfway done. But I'm totally wiped out and half drunk (no food all day + beer = drunkeness), so I'm afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow. I'm going to go pass out now. Yeehaw.

Addictions Suck.

I have several of them in my life. Some of them are real, honest to god addictions, like my smoking habit. Others, like my inability to stop inhaling a half a can of Pringles every night aren't "addictions" per se, but without them, my day just doesn't feel complete. Some are still up in the air, because I swear I'm physically addicted to Altoids, but I'm sure others would beg to differ, saying it's impossible to become truly "addicted" to a curiously strong mint.

But anyway, on to my point. It seems I've acquired a new addiction. One that could honestly change my life forever. You see folks, it seems I've become addicted to online job searches. That's right folks, you read that right. Job searches. I'm addicted. [sigh]

I log on in the morning and begin the ride. I've recently found a site I totally love because it pulls in all of the listings from all of the other job sites, like Monster.com, CareerBuilder.com, etc. All in one place. It makes me giddy and I spend the entire day checking and re-checking that site for technical writing positions, hoping to find a new listing when I log on. Not because I'm that desperate for a job (although I suppose I am...), but because it just makes me tingle with excitement when I feel like I'm the first person in the entire tri-state area to see that listing. And if I move quickly enough, I can be the very first resume they receive. Ahhhh.... Complete euphoria...

I'm embarrassed to admit that I hope I don't find a job anytime soon. Not necessarily because it means less time spent with my kids (although that's an issue too). But because it means I will no longer have any reason to visit the job listing websites. And then what the hell will I do? What will fill that empty spot in my life? It hurts just thinking about it.

So as I leave for my interview at 1:00pm EST today (first one in 10 years I might add...), wish me luck. However, I'm not sure if you should wish me luck that I land the job, or wish me luck that I don't. Because the truth is, even I'm not sure which would be better...

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" ~Author Unknown

~ Woke up and started getting Grace ready for daycare.

~ Realized a good 15 minutes later that it was Valentine's Day and that I had to send the girls' Valentine cards to school for their parties.


~ Said "Happy Valentine's Day" to Steve.

~ Laughed when he said, "Shit. I forgot all about it."

~ Said, "Yeah. Me too." [shrug]

~ Played several board games with Hannah this morning. Have you ever played a board game with a 2-year-old? It's frustrating as hell. "Hannah! NO! Put your little gingerbread man here... on the red square!... NO! Not that way! This way!..." Seriously, I have some issues to overcome, my friends.

~ Got showered and donned my cool as shit Old Navy heart tee sent to me by a friend who admitted I was only getting it because it was too big on her. Yeah. Um, thanks? ;)

~ Threw Hannah in the car to head to video store #1 to return movies we rented over the weekend.

~ Noticed on my way up to the counter that their 10 copies of "Saw 2" were already half rented, even thought they had just opened 45 minutes before then and it had just been released to today.

~ Started panicking it would be gone before I got the chance to rent it.

~ Was halfway back to the car when the girl came running out into the parking lot, yelling, "Ma'am! This one case is empty! You forgot 'Wedding Crashers'!" Fuck.

~ Was annoyed she called me "ma'am". What's up with that?

~ Drove across the street to Blockbuster, where I literally ran into the store, dragging Hannah, and running towards the "S" section of the store.

~ Was relieved to find some copies still there.

~ Laughed when I realized the other girl grabbing for a copy was Steve's cousin's wife, who said her husband had called her to tell her Happy Valentine's Day and to "gently remind her" that she needed to head to Blockbuster on her lunch break to grab a copy of "Saw 2".

~ Laughed at the Blockbuster employee. I was making conversation and mentioned that over at the other video store, they only had a few copies left. He said (with quite the attitude), "Well, they probably only have like 10 copies." I laughed and said that yes, indeed, they did only have a few. He said, "They don't hold a candle to us." Now none of his attitude was directed towards me. And I'm allll for employer pride and stuff. But jesus dude, you're like 30 years old and managing a video store (which is fine and a perfectly respectable job I might add). You really don't have to get that angry about the competition. LMAO!

~ Grabbed some BK chicken fries on my way home.

~ Justified my purchase since I only got the chicken fries and no french fries, onion rings, or soda to go with them.

~ Received a photo of EE wearing her Old Navy shirt and decided I really needed to stand in that exact same supermodel pose when I took a picture. I mean, seriously... who the hell stands like that EE? Ya freak! LOL!

~ Tried to stand like that, but just couldn't pull it off. No supermodel future for me, apparently...

~ Decided to remind all of you that the camera adds 10 lbs.

~ Snorted because whenever I hear someone say that, I think of Chandler from friends following up that statement with, "How many cameras were on you?"

~ Sent out another one billion resumes.

~ Laughed out loud when, while browsing monster.com (or some other similar job website) I saw a help wanted ad for a "Pipe Layer". I'm such a perv.

~ Spent half the day randomly screaming "VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!" when Hannah walked past me, and then tickling her until she (literally) pissed herself laughing.

~ Got a few hours of "alone time" when my mom and dad took the girls to Burger King for dinner (Grace really wanted the Spongebob Kids' Meal toy), to the library (for their first time), and then back to their house.

~ Walked into my mom's house later where Grace and Hannah handed me a card with their handprints in them and half a dozen red roses. Receiving them wasn't nearly as sweet as seeing the pure joy and excitement on Grace's face as she handed them to me. Kids rule.

~ Wondered when the hell Valentine's Day became "Christmas in February" when I saw the motherload of cards, candy, gifts, and other assorted crap given to my children at daycare and by my parents. What the hell?

~ Avoided peeing for nearly an hour because I had just changed my tampon and didn't feel like changing it again .

~ Wondered if I'm the only person who has to change their tampon every time they pee. (Stupid childbirth... grumble grumble...)

~ Had fantastic steak for dinner (which I'm happy to report, did NOT start on fire... but only because Steve made it).

~ Had another heart swelling moment when Steve let the girls do his hair, using all of the new sparkly and feathery clips they had gotten for Valentine's Day.

~ Was a bit pissed that they only showed my favorite American Idol gray haired dude for a whopping 3.5 seconds tonight.

~ Wanted to jump through the screen and punch those damn twins right in the face. What is up with those dudes? Stupid convicts. (And they really are. I'm not just saying that to be mean.)

~ Am going to hurry up and finish this so I can inhale the chocolate bar dipped in peanut butter that I've been craving for a good two hours now.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. " ~Robert Byrne, quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1988

~ Woke up feeling fairly well rested since I got my ass to bed last night right after "Grey's Anatomy" (which ruled by the way).

~ Yelled at the girls a billion times this morning because they felt the need to play with water throughout the house making about a billion sloppy wet messes and causing me to have to change Hannah's clothing about a billion times.

~ Washed a bunch of dishes (still in the bathroom sink... sigh).

~ Cut up the hunk of watermelon Steve bought last night at the grocery store and hoped it wasn't spoiled since we forgot to put it in the fridge last night.

~ Gave some to Grace and she didn't say it tasted funny and she didn't throw up so I guess it's OK. [shrug]

~ Started marinading the chicken for dinner.

~ Got a visit from my dad after he had worked out at the gym. Found out my mom is taking both girls to Burger King tomorrow night for Valentine's Day. (Grace really wants the Spongebob toys that come in their kids' meals.)

~ Was surprised when Steve got home from work around lunchtime.

~ Had a nice, calm discussion (yet again) about what my options are as far as a job are.

~ Was informed that Steve would like me to save up around $10,000 to stone the entire front of the house. Dude, what are you smoking? LMFAO!

~ Put Hannah down for her nap and took Grace outside to play in the snow. (Have I mentioned how much I hate the snow?)

~ Got all mushy when Steve stopped loading his truck and went sledding with Grace for over an hour.

~ Got annoyed when he started pelting me with snowballs while laughing like a raving lunatic. Bastard.

~ Helped Grace build a pathetic excuse for a "snowman", but she was happy so it's all good.

~ Came inside and had to wash all of Grace's snow clothing (for daycare tomorrow) because in one of her sledding runs, she flipped over onto a part of the driveway with no snow and was covered in mud.

~ Drunk half a jug of V8 strawberry banana smoothie juice.

~ Panicked afterwards, thinking it would constipate me.

~ Realized that may not be such a bad thing in my case.

~ Snacked on baby carrots dipped in Ranch dressing instead of the Pringles I really wanted. (I'm still not sure why to be honest with you. LOL!)

~ Wondered if Hannah was put on this earth for no reason but to drive me fucking insane.

~ Once again, told her she's damn lucky she's so little and cute.

~ Managed to burn both of my children with scalding water when I forgot to turn off Steve's laundry before letting the girls get in the shower. (Stupid, stupid asshole. (Me. Not Steve.))

~ Played Hullabaloo and Candy Land with the girls.

~ Conversation with Grace after she kicked my ass at Candy Land...

Grace: I want to put up our tent and play Chutes and Ladders inside it.
Me: Aw Hon, I'm sorry... I won't fit in there to play with you.
Grace: Yeah. I know. That's why you can't play.
Me: (slightly wounded) Er, uh yeah. I guess not.
Grace: Or, you could just stick your head inside whenever it's your turn.

Thanks kid. You're swell.

~ Pissed Steve off when he discovered I had used his salad dressing as the marinade for the chicken. (It SAID "Dressing and 10 minute marinade"...)

~ Deeply enjoyed the chicken this evening, as did he (even though he's still bitter and admitted he wasn't even going to eat it because he was so annoyed). Dude, and that hurts me how? Loser.

~ Around 8:00, told Grace to sit on the couch while I grabbed her blanket for her.

~ Turned around literally two seconds later to find her completely unconscious and off in dream land.

~ Decided I will take her sledding ever day of the damn year if it'll help her fall asleep like that.

~ Put the girls to bed and had an entire conversation with Steve about the current status off our sex life, blow jobs, hand jobs, and a bunch of other things I could frankly care less about right now.

~ Told him at one point to either let me get him off in whatever way he deemed necessary, or to just shut up. Because either way, I wasn't missing "CSI: Miami" at 10:00... (Jesus, girly man. Enough with the damn deep discussions already. [rolling eyes])

LOL! Katherine...

God, I'm so confused by your reading question and which book I finished when. LOL!

OK. So I stayed up late on Saturday night reading the book EE had sent me... "Sleeping with Beauty." Very cute book! I really liked it!



Then I finished it yesterday afternoon, so I started "The Wasp Eater". VERY good book. Quick read, a bit disturbing at times. Very insightful at some points.



I actually finished that last night, so I think today I'll start "Sea Glass" by Anita Shreve. I'm apparently on a roll. LOL!


Then I'll start the Sisterhood series that EE sent me last week. :)

Busy, busy weekend... All sorts of errand running yesterday morning.... Writing out 50+ Valentine's Day cards for daycare kids... Birthday party at McDonald's yesterday afternoon... Trip to the video store... Watching "Wedding Crashers" (funny as HELL by the way)... Up until 2:00 AM reading... Paying the price today... Finishing the book this afternoon... Snow play... Sledding... Cleaning... Grocery shopping... Playing... Starting a new book... Baths... and trying desperately to stay awake until bedtime tonight... Zzzzzz........

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home." ~Betty Bender

~ Woke up and made some mental decisions about my job search.

~ Made the mistake of telling the girls we had to go to the World's Largest General Store.

~ Had to explain for 2 hours that no, they weren't open yet and we'd have to wait a bit.

~ While in the shower, heard Hannah start screaming and Grace say, "Hey Mom, Hannah's stuck on the crib." On the crib. Exactly how does one get stuck on the crib.

~ Heard Grace help her down. I still have no idea what happened.

~ Almost ditched the whole outing when the girls spent 30 non-stop minutes arguing over which one was going to ride in the stroller first.

~ Banged my head against the wall until they were done crying.

~ Went to the World's Largest General Store (it's really called that by the way) and paid off the remaining balance on the kitchen cabinets and countertops.

~ Spent two hours walking around, wasting time so we wouldn't have to come back home and stare at each other.

~ Came home and discovered a message from the woman whom had asked for some writing samples yesterday, saying she wanted to set up an interview with me next week.

~ Had extremely mixed feelings about the whole thing, but called and set it up.

~ Was excited to hear that two of the four people I'll be interviewing with are men. I'm much more comfortable talking to men.

~ Was bummed I can't wear my boob-enhancing Hollister t-shirt to the interview. [sigh]

~ Conducted some searches online and in my Sent email folder trying to figure out which flippin' job it is I am interviewing for.

~ Found it.

~ Realized this prospective job is totally fucking with all of the mental decisions I made when I first woke up. [sigh]

~ Had no clue the Olympics started tonight. Patriotic I am not. (Apparently.)

~ Was thrilled when my mom called, offering to take Hannah with her and my dad while I took Grace to gymnastics. No 8 billion trips to the potty!!! Hooray!!!

~ Watched Grace kick ass learning her routine for their recital in June.

~ Came home and watched Grace inhale 5 pancakes in about 5 minutes... literally.

~ Realized in talking to my parents and Steve that my former salary was actually $10,000 less than I thought it was. (I could tell you down to the penny what was in my paycheck every two weeks, but my overall salary I could never remember.)

~ Then realized that because of this, when sending my salary requirements for the job I'm interviewing for next week, I actually asked for $7,000 more than I was making before, when I actually thought I was asking for $3,000 less than I was making before. And yet, they still want to interview me. Sweet.

~ Because of the above, realized I truly am an idiot. [sigh]

~ Conversation with Grace:

Grace: "Hey Mom, can I sit on your lap for a second?"
Me: [thinking the "for a second" thing was kind of weird, but shrugging it off] "Sure, Sweetie!"
Grace: [Sits on my lap and proceeds to let one rip, vibrating it on my leg, and then collapsing into a heap on the floor while laughing.]
Me: "Nice Grace. Real freakin' nice..."