A Few More...

I had a chance to edit a few more pictures from our little fishing adventure yesterday, so I thought I'd post them.

Kelly, to answer your question, I don't run actions very often anymore. I have Photoshop CS3 now and that comes with an Adobe Camera Raw (ACR) plug-in. I do the majority of my photo editing using that now. I bought some ACR presets, which basically means I click on it and the coloring, lighting, etc. automatically changes.

As for depth, I'm still doing all of that by hand. I don't have a fancy camera at all, so I go into most of my photos and blur the background after the fact in order to add depth and dimension. I'll type up an entry later today explaining (somewhat) what I do, OK?

In the meantime, here are those photos I mentioned...

And so ends another holiday...

So today, another holiday came and went. Have you noticed that holidays and long weekends pretty much seem to go three times as fast when you're an adult. What's that all about anyway?

So anyway, Steve and I woke up this morning and decided to take the girls fishing for most of the day. Let me just say that fishing is NOT my thing. I used to go all the time when I was a kid. But now I'm like, a grown-up and stuff and the thought of being away from my computer that long and traipsing along in the wilderness just doesn't do it for my anymore. (Sad, I know.) But I knew the girls would love it, and I knew I'd get some great photos, so off we went.

We took them up the old canal, along the river. Steve warned me we'd have to walk pretty far from the car to the fishing spot, but he didn't say HOW far. Dear god. Poor little Hannah's legs. LOL! But she kept up with us, just like the little trooper she is.

So anyway, both girls ended catching a ton of fish. None we could/wanted to keep (most Sunnies), but they had an absolute BLAST and were both so proud of themselves when they'd catch one. It really was cute to watch. :)

Here is Grace catching her first fish of the day. She was SO excited...

Hannah waiting patiently for a nibble.

The gang fishing...

Some bridges near where we were fishing...

The canal walls...

Whew!

We had such a busy day today. It was one of those where when you leave one place, it's only to head to the next place. Frankly, I hate days like that, but what are you gonna do, ya know?

This morning, Grace tried a karate class. She's mentioned being interested in it and a new place was offering 2 free classes to try it out, so we gave it a whirl. She really liked it, so I think we'll sign her up for it and see how she does. Hell, I'm just glad because it gets me out of going to gymnastics. I was so sick and tired of the woman that owns the gym. So it's all good, I say. LOL!

So we left there and had to head to the house of a classmate of Grace's last year. Her best friend, J. J moved to Michigan right at the end of last school year, so Grace hasn't seen her since then. They were back in town this weekend to pack up the rest of their house and move for good. So as much as I didn't want to go, I knew I had to. Grace still talks about how much she misses J., so I knew she'd be excited (I didn't tell her where we were going). I ended up having a good time because some other classmates' moms were there and ALL of them smoked. I tend not to ever smoke in front of people I don't know well (especially women) because I don't want anyone judging me. When I saw one woman (who I seriously thought would never smoke) light one up, I actually said out loud, "Thank GOD you smoke!" LOL! That's kind of sad, isn't it?

Anyway, here are the girls hanging out together and having fun. Cute little children, aren't they?

So anyway, then we left there and headed home only long enough to pick up Steve and then we went to Steve's cousin's surprise 30th birthday party. They had it at a big park/playground type place which was great for the kids, but sucked for the moms because it was hard keeping track of the kids -- especially if you have multiple children.

So anyway, the second we get there, Grace and Hannah ran off to play with my nephews, who were being watched by my SIL and my MIL. I'm like, "Cool. I'll quick inhale some food, chug a beer, and then go play with the kids."

I swear to god, we were there FIFTEEN minutes tops when I look up and see Grace is absolutely soaked from the chest down. What... the... hell? Apparently, since my somewhat "spirited" (nice way of saying out-of-control) nephew decided to walk into the stream to "catch tadpoles," it was OK for Grace too. Um, do you think perhaps you could ask me next time before allowing my child to do that? The truth is, I didn't really that she got wet because I had an extra set of clothing in the car for her, but they didn't know that.

So anyway, I told Grace that she was NOT to go back down near the stream without an adult. (You couldn't see the stream from where we all were.) I swear to god, less than 3 minutes later, I say, "Steve -- where the hell is Grace?" So I walk down to the stream, and there are her and Gunnar (my nephew) waist high in the middle of the damn stream with not an adult in sight. Son of a b*tch!!! So I reamed both of them out for going down without an adult and threatened Grace with bodily harm if it happened again. Dear god, that was less than an hour into the party. [grumble grumble.]

So anyway, about an hour and a half after we got there, my SIL, BIL & two nephews left. It then dawned on me that she hadn't really said hello and mumbled a goodbye, causing me to wonder if she was all pissed at me about something again. Then I realized that I really don't give a shit. LOL! But seriously, I swear to god I think she's mad at me. This is the girl who didn't speak to me for TWO YEARS when I first met Steve (for no reason what-so-ever), so she could possibly snap at any moment. LOL!

Then I wondered if she was pissed because she was sort of half-assed watching her 2-year-old son and Hannah for about 20 minutes while I ate. But I don't really care if she was. I'm always the only one watching the kids/disciplining the kids/cleaning up after the kids on holidays and at gatherings, and it's about damn time that she took her fucking turn. Right? RIGHT?!?! Yeah.

So um, anyway, we were there for several more hours until I finally dragged Steve and the girls to the damn car to come home. I'd pretty much had my fill of socializing, parties, and being the designated driver and I was done.

So we came home, and within 30-minutes, this is what I found on the couch...

I guess it was a rough day for everybody, huh? LOL!

Photoshop Sites and Blogs...

These are especially for Tink, although I'm sure some of the rest of you will have fun browsing through them too. :)

First and foremost we have the Photoshop Killer Tips blog. This site kicks ass. Everyday, a new tutorial is posted. This guy is AWESOME at Photoshop. The tutorials are little 60-second or so movies so it's REALLY easy to follow along and see what to do.

http://www.photoshopkillertips.com/

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Next we have The Photoshop Blog. This one definitely has good tutorials, but I find the actual blog to be cluttered and hard to navigate. If you sift through all of the advertisements though, you can learn how to do some pretty cool things.

http://www.photoshopsupport.com/photoshop-blog/

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Next is Spraguelab. This blog is mostly geared towards using Photoshop (and Photoshop Elements) to digital scrapbook, but there are a quite a few tutorials that are specifically about doing cool things to photos. And she is FANTASTIC at explaining things so even a first-timer can understand.

http://spraguelab.squarespace.com/blog/

And here's the direct link to where all of her tutorials are listed. (She posts a new one every Friday):

http://spraguelab.squarespace.com/photoshop-friday-index/

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Next is the Photoshop Roadmap. Sign up for their newsletter and every day or so, you'll get an email with REALLY cool things you can learn to do in Photoshop (like aging a woman's face in a photo and creating a pancake monster, complete with teeth... LOL!). This site also has a bunch of free brushes, downloads, plug-ins, etc. Good stuff.

http://www.photoshoproadmap.com/

 

I have plenty more, but I can assure you that you will spend hours (or days even) just messing around with these sites, so I'll post the rest later. :)

A few layouts...

I thought I'd post a few layouts since I'm sitting here bored and don't feel like doing anything productive. (Shocker. I know.) And now that I have my new handy dandy Live Writer/Flickr plug-in working, I don't even need to open a browser window to do this. WOOHOO! I love new software!!! LOL!

Anyway, here you go. These are some photos of the girls from when my girlfriend and I took our kids to a local amusement park one day in June. (It's the day I ran into my ex-boyfriend and felt like a complete tool.)

 

This second one was done for a challenge over at Jen Wilson Designs. We had to scrap about something that relaxes us. So I scrapped about I could edit photos in Photoshop all day long and not get sick of it. (It's an illness, I know.)

 

And here's one I just finished up this morning. The other night Hannah spent a good hour doodling on our back patio with some chalk. It was cute. (And it allowed me to kick back and enjoy a few beers while she was busy. LOL!)

Facebook Anyone?

OK, so if you look over there in my right-hand margin, you'll see a little doohicky thingy for Facebook. ----->

Click it dammit, and sign up. I want more Facebook friends! I suppose you could say it's sort of like My Space in that you set up your profile, etc. But it's WAY cooler! AND you have total control over who sees what. People that I've accepted as "friends" have access to all of my information.... phone number, birthday, real name (heh heh), etc. They can see what I post on my Wall (kind of like a message board that you can post to other people on), etc.

There are a few of you out there who already my friends over there. Damn, do we have a blast. We send each other virtual drinks (I've received more beer and jello shots than one girl should), throw virtual food at each other, send each other "Naughty Gifts" (blue balls anyone?), nominate each other in stupid, ridiculous polls, and generally waste way too much time over there. LOL! Why just a few hours ago, I threw a sheep at Tink. It's all good.

I know some people are freaked out by sites like that and worry about their privacy. But like I said, you have TOTAL control over who sees what. You can set it so the whole damn world sees everything. Or you can set it so that only your accepted friends see stuff. You can set stuff so that no one in the universe sees stuff if you want to.

So go click on that little doohicky thing, sign up for a free account, and then add me as a friend. If I like you, I'll add you back. ;)

Hurry. I need more people to throw farm animals at.

(Editing to add that Mary just sent me a virtual naked blow up doll. That's just wrong.)

Future Fashion Designer?

Aug 28 2007 002_edit, originally uploaded by alien0103.

So here's Hannah wearing a typical "Hannah outfit." She decided this morning that she wanted to wear that red dress. But she didn't want it to be a dress -- she wanted it to be a skirt. No problem. She just took the top down and had me clip the dress at her waist using a typical office binder clip. LOL!

Then she put on the pink Hawaiian shirt so she could match the identical one on her doll. (They were Grace and Hannah's shirts 3 years ago when they were younger.) Throw on a pair of Crocs and a bracelet worn as an anklet and we're in business. Sweet.

My Little First Grader

Well, yesterday Grace officially became a first grader. She was a little nervous the night before and that morning. She was excited too, but she kept saying she was a little nervous and that her "stomach was dizzy." LOL!

But she climbed on the bus and when she got home she told me she loved it. Whew! She loves her new teacher, likes the kids in her class, and is THRILLED because although last year the kindergarteners had little tables (4 to a table), this year she has her OWN DESK! Remember how exciting that was when you were a kid?

So here are a few pictures. (And one or two of Hannah when we were waiting for Grace to get home.

Holy shit, it's over!

Summer vacation that is. It's over. Today marks the last day before Grace heads off to 1st grade. Dear god it went fast. When she had her last day of kindergarten in June, I prepared myself for a loooong summer, figuring Grace would be bored out of her skull after two weeks. She did have days of boredom, but for the most part, we always found something to do almost every day. And now it's over. How is that possible?

So yesterday, they spent the day on their waterslide in the backyard (it was like 100+ degrees). And toay, the slide isn't blown up, but they're splashing around, making "potato soup" using upside down Frisbees, water, and little pieces of a cardboard box. I'm sitting on the back porch watching them, smoking a cigarette here and there, and wondering when the hell life started going so fast. When I was a kid, summer seemed to last an eternity. Now I'm adult with kids of my own and it feels like it lasts a day... a week at best. [sigh]

Slow down world... I wanna get off.

Cool Site of the Day...

http://www.etsy.com/color.php

Go here. Move your mouse around and big colored dots appear under your cursor. Click on any color and the site finds items for sale that match the color you just clicked on. I don't know how beneficial it is, but it sure is cool. LOL!

Etsy is a site to sell and buy handmade items. That part in and of itself is cool. But the whole color matching thing takes it to the next level and really kicks ass.

My Little Rock Star

So yesterday, my parents and I took both girls to the mall school shopping. Well, Hannah was just along for the ride. Grace was the one that needed stuff for school on Monday. It wasn't exactly pleasant since she HATES shopping for clothing and HATES trying stuff on (just like her mom). But we managed to get through it. While there, she begged for a makeover at Libby Lu's. Hannah had one on her birthday, so my mom agreed to let Grace get one yesterday. She was so excited and picked the "Rock Star" makeover. I must say, she looked absolutely adorable!

Here are a few photos. (And I realize her outfit in the second one doesn't exactly match. It's a long story and she didn't wear it out in public, so who am I to judge, right? LOL!)

Site of the Day (8/21/2007)

http://www.animationnation.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=002071

Freaky.

Patriotic? Sure Mom, I can act...

Mini_Golf_Aug_16_2007_ 060_edit2 copy, originally uploaded by alien0103.

patriotic while you snap a picture of me with a flag behind me. Sure! No problem!

Uh... yeah. Right. [sigh]

So seriously...

Mini_Golf_Aug_16_2007_ 059_BW copy, originally uploaded by alien0103.

Could they possibly look anymore alike if they tried? [shaking head] Freaky.

Don't f--- with the L-------- girls...

Mini_Golf_Aug_16_2007_ 056 copy, originally uploaded by alien0103.

Because they WILL kick your ass and take names. ;)

Coolest Site EVER!!!

Check this out. I created this (free) in about 10 minutes. Go to www.animoto.com and check it out. (Turn your sound on.)

I did it!

I finally did it! (And it wasn't even on purpose.) But I managed to capture, in one photo, the personalities of every one of my fellow family members.

First, we have Hannah with her typical "Fuck you," expression. That look that says, "Mom, leave me the hell alone or I'll go medieval on your ass."

Next, we have Grace, picking her nose, not even remotely aware of (or caring) how socially inappropriate it is.

And then there's Steve, in the background, oblivious to it all.

Sweet.

Checking in...

Hey gang. I don't have much in terms of a "real" blog post right now. But I'm sitting here on the couch with the girls watching "Night at the Museum" and thought I'd just check in to letcha know I'm alive and well. We've been busy with lots of little stuff and errands and such. Nothing exciting. At all. LOL!

This week, Grace is all into photography and film making. LOL! I don't know why it started, but it's cool with me. We've been making movies, taking pictures and printing them out, etc. I think next we're going to make a DVD slideshow thing. She asking me the other night if, when she gets bigger, she can send one of her movies into "On the Lot." LOL! She's so freakin' cool. I'm especially loving the photography phase she's going through. More photos to edit and scrap! WOOHOO!

Well gang, the laptop battery is dying. I'll check in later, maybe with some photos. :)

Funny Shit...

These are HILARIOUS!

Stumble Upon Site of the Day:
http://veryfunnyads.com/

Kid Pics...

I've had one or two people recently ask me for recent pictures of the girls, so I thought I'd post a few here.

Hannah Swimming at Aunt Joanne's House

The Girls Building "Zoomy the Robot"

Grace Painting Zoomy's Face

Grace

Grace in the Back of Steve's Pickup

Hannah Playing in the Dirt

Hannah

Well, another pigroast has come and gone. It's always hard to believe how quickly that week goes. It's a good month of preparation every year... make the guest list... make the invitations... print the invitations... address and mail the invitations... order the pig... order the beer... make the shopping lists... etc. Then we wake up that morning, blink, and it's over. Kind of makes me wonder why the hell we do it. LOL!

OK... so I only took a total of like 7 pictures the ENTIRE weekend (because I'm always too busy to think about it), and I'll post one or two here. None of them are that exciting actually. And I'll spare the one of good ol' Porky when he arrived the night before. So much happened those 3 or 4 days that I'm afraid you're going to get a bulleted list. And because my brain is fried today, due to me royally fucking up my computer last night and spending all day researching a fix, it's going to NOT be in chronological order. Deal with it.

** Emily (from one of my Mom internet boards) and her sister, Camille flew in on Thursday. Being the rude hostess that I am, I was on my way home from getting my haircut when they arrived and they sat on my back porch for an hour waiting for me. (Incidentally, I DID tell them to feel free to come inside in the air conditioning, but they declined.)

** Later that night, the three of us headed out to get us some alcohol for the night and we were cornered in the walk-in freezer by a creepy, redneck dude in a NASCAR shirt who heard there were "three hot ladies" in there. He then proceeded to look directly at Emily's chest and call her a "hot mama." Oh my. Welcome to Pennsylvania, Camille. LOL!

** Got buzzed, hung out, and then crashed.

** The three of us (and Grace) ran around the next day to the grocery store, dollar store, liquor store, bank, etc. preparing for the next day. While waiting in line to check out at the grocery store, a scary dude behind us in line started talking to us. What a FREAK! He was overweight, had a big bushy grayish beard and was wearing a shirt that said something like, "If you're hot, take your clothing off," with the name of a local nudist colony under it.

** He told us a bunch of stupid jokes, asked if we wanted to do what his shirt said (since it was 90+ degrees that day), and waited patiently while I checked out with an entire shopping cart of food and he was holding ONE candybar and a coupon to get it for free. (Uh, welcome to Pennsylvania, Camille.)

** While at the dollar store, some old woman with a THICK German accent (?!) saw me buying 10 or 11 silver foil pans (for the pig) and asked if I was preparing for Thanksgiving. Um, lady, it's August. When I mumbled that no, it was for a pig roast, she said something that sounded like, "Oh. I'm going to a pig roast tomorrow too." Shit. I left there worrying that she was coming to ours and assured Emily and Camille that not ALL people in my town are freaks. Like, for real.

** That night, we decided to attempt to make Jello shots (we were all Jello shot making virgins). We had found a recipe for rum & coke ones that used Coke instead of any water.

** Later, we tried them. They were good, but there wasn't even an inkling of Coke taste in 'em.

** Crashed.

** Woke up the morning of the pig roast and kicked it into high gear. There's soooo much to do that day before people start showing up.

** People started arriving and the fun began. Beer, pork, turkeys, potato bacon soup (remind me to post the recipe. It's easy and it fucking ROCKS!), meatballs, pierogies, pasta salad, taco roll thingies, etc.

** Started doing Jello shots. Mmmm...

** Grace spent hours taking "donations" for the homemade french fries my FIL makes while you wait every year.

** She got greedy and started "selling water" too. She made $32.00.

** My parents left with the girls and the real fun (for me) could begin.

** Talked to our friend Jack, the "Snake Dude" (see photo below). He goes out and catches copperheads and rattlesnakes "for fun". He showed us all of his snake bites and told some stories.

** Found out later that when he was leaving, he smacked Camille on the ass as his way of saying goodbye. [shaking head] I SWEAR we're not all like that here. For real.

** Emily got a ride on our neighbor's 4-wheeler at one point. I'm still not sure why, but what the hell, right?

** Jumped out of my skin when another guest retrieved a 5-foot long homemade "cannon" out of his SUV and proceeded to shoot it off, much to the dismay of the neighborhood dogs.

** Decided it was time to start up the Beer Pong table.
** Got stuck with a sucky ass partner and lost the first game. Grrrr...

** Camille volunteered to play even though she'd never played before and she was a total ringer. She sank ball after ball, helping us win about 8 games in a row.

** Laughed when people started singing karaoke (we had a DJ). Some people just shouldn't sing in public.

** Got a ride on the neighbor's 4-wheeler. (Hey, Emily can't have ALL the fun.)

** Got drunk enough to drag Emily up to sing a song. (I NEVER sing karaoke people. Ever.)

** Got stuck singing "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain. I HATE her and I HATE that song, but an old dude we know insisted on it.

** We didn't do so well. LOL!

** Upon finishing the song, was told by the DJ that "my friend was over in the chair throwing up under his tent." That would be Camille. LMAO! Damn Beer Pong.

** With the aide of Steve, Emily, and I, we managed to get Camille up to the house to crash. We found her 5 minutes later snuggled up under the garbage bag Emily had given her to puke into should the need arise.

** Switched it out with a towel. (I wanted to give her a blanket, but Emily said no. Hey, it's her sister, not mine.)

** Went back down the party for about 15 more minutes before I decided I was just done for the night.

** Heard the homemade cannon go off again on my way up. Nice.

** Stumbled up to the house where I found out my brother had snuck out and left to drive the 45 minutes back to his house instead of crashing here like the plan had been.

** Got accused of not giving a shit by my sister when I mumbled I was going to bed. Hey, I love the guy and I certainly don't want him drinking and driving. But I'm also not his babysitter and if someone is going to be a stupid fucking idiot, there's nothing I can do about it.

** Crashed. Hard.

** Found out the next day that my FIL's girlfriend asked one of our friend's girlfriend when she's due. Um, she's not pregnant. DOH!

** Found out the next day that three of our older dude friends had spent the night in our yard. One on a makeshift mattress using bench cushions, one in a sleeping bag in the grass, and one right on the wooden benches Steve had "built" next to the bon fire. Sweet.

** Spent the day cleaning up, hanging with Emily and Camille before they left, and eating lots of leftovers.

All in all, it was a blast. It was fun having Emily and Camille here and hanging with some chicks is always a nice change of pace for me. But next year, I'm making my own cannon.

Uhhh.... oops?

You guys TOTALLY have to watch this. It's only 30 seconds long, but you'll totally be laughing for the last 20 of it. God bless this girl. God... bless... her.... LMAO!

The new 'do...

Well, on Thursday I went to get my hair chopped off. It was way down past my shoulders and frizzy as all hell before the haircut. I got some highlights and lowlights and got a modified shag cut. I can wear it straighter (like in the first two pics), slightly wavy (like in the second two pictures) or completely curly (which I haven't tried yet, but the hairdresser swears it'll still look fine).

Everyone loves it (myself included). Steve is still freakin' out about how much he likes it, my mom threatened to kick my ass if I ever let it get long again, and my MIL won't stop talking about it.

So what do you think? Good? A mistake? LOL!

Site of the Day

OK. So I have NO time to post a real entry right now. My out-of-state pig roast guests are arriving tomorrow, so this is my LAST day to clean, get things ready, do all of the grocery shopping, etc. It doesn't help that I overslept and so Hannah is now home (and Grace) instead of at daycare where she should be today. [sigh]

Anyway, I just wanted to give you today's STUMBLE UPON SITE OF THE DAY. I've posted mostly artsy type stuff up until now, so today, we're going for just freaky. Enjoy!

Top 15 Strangest Coincidences

Stop the world...

Grace at the Fire Pit

I want to get off! At least, this week I do. OK. So maybe not completely OFF of the world. But I would like to rest for like 2.2 seconds or so. ACK! I HATE the week leading up to the pigroast. HATE IT!

So much to do... So little time...

But Steve managed to construct a fire pit and made some good ol' redneck benches for the occasion this year. So that's cool. But words cannot describe how much stuff there still is to do... and buy... and make and... and... and... Ugh. Let's stop talking about it or I'll have another panic attack or something.

So, I'm going in for a haircut and highlights on Thursday morning. I'm chopping this 'fro off, reclaiming my youth, and splurging a bit to make myself look less like a mom. (Shut up... No one wants to look like a mom. You want to BE a mom. You want to ACT like a mom (at times). But no one wants to LOOK like a typical mom. So it's coming off. The hair is getting whacked, baby!

Shit. I'm tired. And I'm rambling. I truly do think it's time for bed in a big way. Later. :)

Hola chicos (and chicas)!

Whassup?

There's so much going on here. I just have a TON of stuff to do for this weekend's pig roast. [sigh]

But in other news, Grace got asked to be on the competitive team at gymnastics. We're saying no, mind you (HER choice, but I was thrilled with her choice), but it was really nice to be asked. Especially since they only choose 9 kids out of ALL the kids that go there that are her age (and there's a lot of 'em... trust me). But she doesn't like it enough to go for the three hours a week they want you there, and I don't think a 6-year-old should be there three hours a week while also going to competitions on weekends, trying to play soccer and t-ball, AND go to 1st grade. So we're not doing it. And I'm glad. LOL!

There's more stuff to talk about, but I have to get my ass in gear this morning. I've got lots of errand running to do today and I believe the kids think I'm taking them swimming, although I'm not really sure where they got that idea from. LOL! Later!

TUESDAY'S STUMBLED UPON WEBSITE OF THE DAY...
This dude draws cool art in the dust on cars' windshields. Pretty cool...
http://www.dirtycarart.com/

Check this Shit Out...

Look, I'm not one (yet) for posting You Tube videos on my blog. But I found this one via Stumble Upon (see post below) and I am officially freaked out. Like seriously, some people truly, truly amaze me...

New Blog Feature...

OK gang. We're going to have a new feature here on the good ol' blog. I was recently introduced to this REALLY cool tool/website called Stumble Upon. You sign up, install a toolbar in your browser, select from a big list of interests, and click the Stumble button on your toolbar. It pulls up random websites based on your interests. And I can assure you, these are sites you would probably never find otherwise. As you pull up websites, you can give them a thumbs up or thumbs down (using buttons in the toolbar), and it starts to "learn" what types of sites you want to see and what types you don't. It's REALLY cool.

Anyway, from now on, we're going to have a Stumbled Upon Website of the Day. I'll pull up some sites, find one I think is cool/interesting/funny/whatever, and post the link here. Feel free to sign up for Stumble Upon and post some of your own finds in the comments section. But beware, if you sign up, you'll spend HOURS clicking that damn button. Guaranteed. LOL!

So with that, I bring you the STUMBLED UPON WEBSITE OF THE DAY. We'll start out with a funny one: 15 Unfortunately Placed Ads

Holy shit.

Please check out this website and tell me that your eyes are crossing too from trying to make your brain AND eyes work together and understand perspective. Seriously, these men and women are truly, truly gifted.

http://foto.blogonline.ru/16227.html

It's Coming! It's Coming!

The pig roast that is. It's in two weeks and we're gearing up here at the L----------- house. The garage is being cleaned out... The invitations have been made, printed, and sent...  Land was cleared and stuff was sprayed in an attempt to finally kill the poison ivy that takes up half our hill in the backyard... Yup. It's here.

I'm actually pretty excited about it this year. Not that I wasn't other years too, but this year, I'm much more relaxed about the whole thing. I won't be on two full-time projects this time that require me to ignore my house guests for the few days that they're here... I don't have as many out-of-town guests coming in (Not that I don't adore my friends that come in early. But it's a lot easier to only worry about ONE set of sheets being freshly laundered and having enough food to feed two people, than like 15. LOL!)... I know WAY more quick and easy recipes for food to make ahead of time... And mentally, I'm just in a better frame of mind.

We're expecting more people than ever before which totally has me pumped. And this year, we're having the entire shindig "down back" on our property. Previous years, the food, beer, bathrooms, etc., were all in our upper backyard, and then if anyone wanted to play volleyball, horseshoes, etc., they had to walk down the hill to the lower property, so I always felt "disconnected" from half the people here. But Steve has busted his ass for months clearing out a ton of overgrown areas, poison ivy, etc. so we can have everyone in one spot. It should be  a blast!

So if I'm scarce for the next week or two (the pig roast is August 4th), it's because there's still a shitload to do in preparation. But I'll be popping in. I swear. :)

What's This World Coming To?

So I'm sitting here right now, watching 20/20, and frankly, I want to puke. It's all about vanity. Things like boob jobs, nose jobs, liposuction, etc. Now let me say right here and now that, generally speaking, I have NO problem with plastic surgery. I realize some people want it and they do it and it's all good. But dear god, you should see this show.

It started out by showing two TEENAGERS whose parents gave them boob jobs for high school graduation. HIGH SCHOOL, people. I'm talking like 17 and 18-year-olds. The girls said it's the best decision they ever made (because you've made a lot of seriously decisions by the time you're 17?). And how it boosted their self-confidence and made them happier, etc. etc. Yeah. Great. But you're SEVENTEEN for the love of god! If you're already unhappy with your body and your self at 17, how the hell are you going to feel after you have a baby or two and your stomach has that tell-tale "pooch"? Or after you get a few laugh lines around your eyes? Dear god. How about, instead of getting fake tits as a teenager in order to boost your self-esteem, you work your ass off in school and get yourself a full scholarship to a kick ass college? Or you work your ass off and break a few records in a sport at your high school? Apparently, it's easier to just ask Mommy & Daddy to shell out $7,000 for some fake tits. [shaking head]

Anyway, then they moved on to other stories. Three women who went to Costa Rica to get their plastic surgery so they could avoid the ridiculous cost of plastic surgery here in the United States. Fine and dandy. I will say, all three women looked beautiful after their surgeries (although I thought they looked beautiful before their surgeries too). But one had SERIOUS complications afterwards and had to return to Costa Rica to get every single procedure "fixed." [shaking head again]

Then they showed this woman who has had (literally) countless operations and procedures done to herself. She applies 8 billion creams and lotions every single day and injects herself with something or other every day, claiming it's "the fountain of youth." Uh huh. Sure it is lady. [Let's all shake our heads again.]

Anyway, I'm not really judging these women directly (although I still have serious problems with the parents who let their teenagers get breast implants). No, I'm judging society as a whole. I'm literally terrified for my two beautiful little girls who will grow up in a society where it seems a woman can never be pretty enough/thin enough/have big enough boobs/etc. It scares the living shit out of me. And I truly mean that. We live in a country where if you don't have big tits and no waist or stomach, you're considered to be "below average." Where if you (god forbid) you happen to need a size 10 or 12 in pants (which by the way, is the average size of women), you're considered "overweight." Where people (and women in particular) stop at absolutely nothing to achieve the "beauty" shoved down our throats daily in magazines, movies, television shows, and by our peers. It's disgusting.

Do I have some things about my physical appearance that I'd like to change? Sure. Who doesn't? But I also find beauty in my body that others may not see.

I look down at my slightly bulging belly and remind myself that the reason it looks that way is because it was stretched while it grew and nurtured my two stunningly gorgeous daughters.

And I look down at my thighs that are a little bigger and rounder than I'd like and remind myself that I'm shaped just like my mom, who I think is stunning.

And I look down at my smaller than average breasts that are just bordering on a B/C size and remind myself that although my boobs may be smaller than most of my friends' boobs, if they were bigger, they may be sagging by now. I, personally, think mine are fantastic. The perfect size if you ask me. Small enough to always remain "perky," but big enough to make me not look like a 10-year-old. They're gorgeously shaped, soft as all hell, and they move freely because there's nothing in there that was man-made in an attempt to make me look bigger/better/badder because someone else out there told me they should be bigger/better/badder. (Note: The following picture is NOT a picture a my own breasts. But they're about that size and I love 'em, dammit.)

Again, I seriously don't give a rat's ass which women out there have had plastic surgery and which women haven't. I have wonderful, true, dear friends who have had cosmetic surgery done and I don't judge them, begrudge them, or think any less of them. I truly, truly don't. But I if Grace or Hannah ever comes up to me while they're in high school and tells me they want to get a boob job, I can guarantee you that I won't be whipping out my checkbook in an attempt to "make my children happy." No, my friends. Instead, I'll slap them upside the head, ask them what the fuck is wrong with them, and then point out every wonderful, beautiful, stunningly gorgeous feature about them, inside and out.

We are ALL beautiful in our own ways. Every last one of us, dammit. I mean, look at this woman! She's breathtaking. I can tell by looking at the lines around her eyes that she spent much of her life smiling and laughing and enjoying the beauty of life. I can see a few of the wrinkles on her hands and fingers and I know that she worked hard during her life, washing dishes, planting flowers, bathing babies, stroking her childrens' foreheads, and doing whatever it took to get through the day. She's beautiful.

Anyway, I need to step down from the soapbox now. But I just needed to get this out there. 20/20 seriously had me wanting to vomit tonight and I wanted to vent. Sorry y'all had to listen to it.

And while we're discussing cool things I've found...

OK. So been referred to would be a more adequate statement.

Anyway, check out Phone Sherpa. Click on this link here:

http://www.phonesherpa.com/home.aspx?af_id=011B439E9E

It's a site that lets you rip songs off of your own CD's and then make your own ring tones for your cell phone. Anyway, I have no intention of paying for the service (LOL!), but you get a no-strings-attached free one. I'm still deciding which song I want to use. :)

Testing and a Few Photos

So I'm trying out this Windows Live Writer thing to start blogging, and I must say, so far I'm really impressed. I may actually blog more now. :)

So let's give this picture thing a whirl... I have two photos from Grace's reptile party. I actually have way more than two and I'll post them later, but these are two of my favorites.

This is the girls walking on one of the boardwalks at the environmental center:

And this is a picture of most of the kids at the party. But some are missing because they wandered off somewhere on the property. LOL! And I don't know if you can tell, but one of these kids was Photoshopped in later. I took a picture of her by herself in front of the rock and then added her to this photo. LOL!

Anyway, I'll be back again later. This Windows Live Writer is FUN! WOOHOO!!! Although it doesn't allow me to upload my photos from there. Blogger apparently isn't supported in that sense. But I CAN blog and just push a button, and BAM!... here's my post. Pretty cool.

8 Things You Probably Don't Care About...

OK. So Geena tagged me to tell 8 things about my husband (Steve) and I. You probably don't care about any of them, and I may not be able to think of 8, but I'll give it a try...

1. We are total opposites in almost every sense of the word... He has a blue-collar, physical job and I have a cushy, work-from-home computer job... He goes to bed around 8:30 and wakes up at 4:00 AM every morning to work out, and I go to bed around 2:00 AM and could count on one hand the number of times I've worked out (on purpose) in my entire life... He loves to be outdoors hunting, fishing, golfing, whatever, and I love to be sitting inside in front of my computer... He doesn't read a damn thing unless he absolutely has to, and I'm a writer by trade and am reading something about 85% of my day... He's kind of a health nut, and I, well, smoke and drink and eat crap and stuff.

2. Our life together has always been dictated (not on purpose) by birthdays. We met on his dad's birthday, he said "I love you," for the first time on my birthday, we had sex for the first time on my brother's birthday, he proposed on his birthday, and we got married on my dad's birthday.

3. If you catch us both in the right mood and among the right people in the right situation, we could possibly be the funniest damn couple you've ever met on the planet.

4. We didn't have sex on our wedding night. We had already been living together for months, and after our reception, we went to a local bar with a bunch of friends. He left the bar to go grab eggs and bacon at the diner next door with my matron of honor and her husband while I stayed at the bar with my work friends doing shots of god knows what. It's all good.

5. I drive him insane because I'm not even remotely organized and/or neat. He drives me up a fucking wall because he's so anal that I can't believe he hasn't died of stomach ulcers or something by now.

6. Both of us absolutely, positively refuse to get on an airplane and fly somewhere. Ever.

7. We make of each other daily, but in a joking/funny way... I tell him his eyebrows look like squirrels taped on his forehead... He tells me my "granny panties" would scare off an 80-year-old man. Like I said before, it's all good. [note: I no longer wear "granny panties".]

8. We are turly in love.For rea.

Ex-Boyfriend Story...

OK. So since I didn't want anyone here thinking I'm stalking my ex, and because Tink commented that HER ex babbled on about wishing they never broke up, I felt the need to explain exactly what my 3AM/half buzzed email said. Nothing weird. Nothing stalker-like. I swear. I even made a point of saying I'm HAPPILY married. It was mostly casual conversation... Like "Hey, what's up with you? What are you doing now? How are your parents? Your brother? Are you married? Do you have kids? Etc."

Now I WILL say that there were 1 or 2 paragraphs where I sounded like a drunken fool, but the truth is, I would've typed the same things regardless of whether or not I had just downed a six-pack. I distinctly remember one paragraph, towards the end of the email. It said (almost a direct quote, but I'm going from memory so it may not be word for word:

"Anyway, I just wanted to drop you a line and see how you're doing. I sometimes think about you... Not in a "Man, I really want to do him again," sort of way, but in a "Hmmm... I wonder whatever happened to him sort of way."

LOL! Now that's not THAT over-the-top right? It's a dman shame and bad timing. Had I not sent that email a week before seeing him, I would've immediately said hello, probably given him a hug (it wasn't a bad breakup at all), and caught up. But because he never responded to my email, I became paranoid. He was there with whom I assume was his wife and was with 2 little girls (coincidence? LOL!) that I assume were his. I KNOW that some women are absolutely psychotic about their husband/significant other's exes and I did NOT want to be that ex that causes a huge fight later that night. I also didn't know if he had told his wife about the email I sent and whether or not she got pissed, so it was just really an awkward situation.

And truthfully, I was surprised he didn't respond to the email. We never had a fight during/after we broke up, we'd had friendly conversations after breaking up, etc., so there was no "bad blood" there or anything. So when I never heard back, my mind immediately decided that his current woman would be pissed if he responded. So when I actually saw him and he was with her, I just avoided him and called it a day. [sigh]

I AM, however, happy to report that he is still smokin' hot (not that Steve isn't), and his wife is definitely cute, but not as hot as I thought his wife would be. And his two little girls were adorable and had unbelieveably curly hair, but my two girls are cuter. ;P (I'm kidding.)

Um, anyway, just wanted to like, clear that up and stuff. LOL!

(Hey wait! NOW I know why he never responded to my email! I bet that for the past 13 years, he's been pining for me, regretting that we broke up, and longing for me, hoping we'd one day meet up again and fall deeply in love again and make a life together. And I bet that once he read my email stressing that I'm happily married, he didn't want to drudge up all of those old nagging feelings of love again, and figured that responding to me would just cause trouble in his married life, where he's pretending to be happy. Yup. That's it. I just know it!)

My life in a Nutshell Bulleted List

** We celebrated Grace's 6th birthday on the 28th by spending the day swimming and then with the family that night for cake.

** Got invited to be on my favorite digital scrapbooking designer's Creative Team. What that basically means is that I use her stuff to create layouts and then post those layouts (and news, events, etc.) in the hopes of promoting her stuff and generating sales for her. It was an honor to be asked and I'm really excited about the whole thing.

** Had Grace's reptile party at the environmental center. It was a HUGE success with the kids and parents alike. There was a slightly stressful 20 minutes when all of the kids suddenly disappeared into the massive 60 acres of woods on the trails (that fork everywhere) and no one was sure which kids were with adults and which weren't, but all worked out OK and everyone was fine. LOL!

** Steve fired one of his employees today. He only had 2. Shit.

** Grace is bored out of her skull on days that Hannah's not here and is completely ready to go back to school already. LOL!

** Spent last Friday at an amusement park where I saw my old college boyfriend for the first time in 13 years. My kids actually bumped into him accidentally. We avoided eye contact and didn't say anything. I'm guessing this was because just ONE WEEK before, I had found him on the alumni site and darted off an email at 3:00 in the morning where I babbled like an idiot and probably scared the living shit out of him. He never responded. [sigh] Karma's a bitch.

** Uhhh... I'm sure there's more, but I'm drawing a blank right now. I'll post some pics later from all of the things I mentioned above, but they're on my other computer and Grace is currently occupying the desk chair.