Highlights of the Day (Saturday)

1) Hannah only woke up once in the middle of the night last night. Yay.

2) Slept with my husband last night. Always such a joy...

3) Hannah only had two temper tantrums regarding her attire as of 8:30 this morning when we left the house.

4) Signed the papers for the kitchen remodel loan. Full steam ahead...

5) Was pleasantly surprised to see that the price they had quoted for us over the phone for the appraisal on the house was actually the amount as the house is now... without any kitchen. (The appraiser was going to ask the bank if they wanted the amount to be as is or after the kitchen remodel.) So once the kitchen is in, it'll be worth even more than they quoted us. Very satisfying indeed.

6) Hit McDonald's drive-thru for a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. A finer breakfast food does not exist, my friends.

7) Steve and I may have actually agreed on the granite for the kitchen countertops. The fact that we both like the same thing with no real reservations is a miracle in and of itself. For real.

8) Went to a birthday party from hell where I spent two hours having multiple near-heart attacks as a group of unruly, unsupervised children did every dangerous thing they could possibly think of.

9) Left the party surprised that the one year old that fell head first down the basement steps and landed on a concrete floor was the only child hurt during the party. (At least when we left, she was the only child hurt.)

10) Went to my parents' house to celebrate my dad's birthday where Grace had a blast playing with (drunk) Uncle Kyle and (drunk) Uncle Mike, who had been at a local Oktoberfest festival all afternoon. Nice.

11) Was jealous they got to get drink at Oktoberfest while I was at a child's birthday party wishing with all my might that I could get drunk. Because trust me, one needed an alcoholic beverage after leaving that place.

12) My mother-in-law dropped off the organ she scored for Grace. Was just thrilled to discover that the stupid hunk of wood doesn't have a volume control knob on it. Fanfuckingtastic.

Highlights of the Day (Friday)

1) Was awakened at 5:30 AM by Hannah who was soaked through, thanks to a big ol' diaper leak.

2) Was joined downstairs by Grace about 20 minutes later, because, you know, god forbid if she should sleep without my warm body next to her in the bed.

3) Began my usual daily "yelling" about 10 minutes later, as they teased, swatted, pushed each other and started whining at me incessantly.

4) Threw them in the car, figuring it was my only hope to stop the insanity, and ran a bunch of errands.

5) Just wondered whatever happened to that bleach-blonde half-psychotic Susan Powder lady that use to yell "Stop the Insanity!" like 2 inches from the TV camera.

6) Took the girls out for pizza for lunch.

7) Was all proud of myself for "managing" the two of them on my own through a whole meal in a public place, when Hannah started bolting down the the stripmall, Grace ran her over and knocked her down, and Hannah started screaming, all witnessed by the mother of one of my elementary school friends, who stopped me to "chat".

8) Was told I won the football pool this week and even had the money in my PayPal account when I realized a mistake had been made, and I did NOT indeed win.

9) Had to refund aforementioned money, cursing bitterly the entire time.

10) Had Hannah walk up to me out of the blue and say, "I don't like you Mommy. I like Daddy." Thanks kid. Thanks a lot.

11) Decided that a gymnastics class for 30 3-5 year olds on a Friday night is pure hell. This is going to be a loooooong year in terms of Friday nights.

12) For the 1,234,567th time, went to the bathroom while leaving the door WIDE open. This was never a problem before (since the girls open it anyway, even if I try to close it). But now that there is another wall knocked out in our house and a bigger window is in our wall, my neighbors can see straight in and see me sitting on the throne. And yet, I continue to forget to close the door...

13) Lied to my project manager saying I had a really good rough draft ready to go. Now she said she'd like to glance at it to make sure I'm going in the right direction. Dammit. I guess I'm pulling an all-nighter tonight...

Highlights of the Day (Thursday)

1) Sent both girls off to school again, allowing me to enjoy a nice morning of steaming hot coffee and uninterrupted Good Morning America viewing time. Ahhh...

2) Realized that unlike yesterday, I had to, ya know, work or something.

3) Cursed my bank yet again. Stupid goddamn banks!

4) Had a crazy lady approach me in my driveway and ask to bum a cigarette. Based on her appearance, her attire, and some of the rambling comments she made before she limped away down the road again, I've decided she was either half off her rocker or an escaped con. Perhaps both.

5) Locked my door upon re-entering my home after the crazy convict lady left.

6) Answered the door for the UPS guy (for the second day in a row) unshowered, wearing no bra, no makeup, and my hair sticking out in every which direction.

7) Realized that wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't 3:00 in the afternoon both times and the guy hadn't once been married to Steve's cousin, which means I know him rather well. [sigh]

8) Had Grace tell me she wants to take karate lessons. Um yeah, I once considered that for her too but realized she'd just end up kicking ALL of our asses and I'm just not in the mood.

9) Upon realizing that Steve has convinced every single person he knows (other than me) to start drinking vinegar everyday to cleanse their digestive track, decided that perhaps he should start some weird cult where we ask everyone to send in donations to our "church" so we can better equip ourselves to rid the world of unclean assholes.

10) Told Steve that if he didn't cut down on his vinegar intake and stop filling our entire home with his toxic ass fumes, I'm going to divorce him.

11) I'm not kidding.

Hey, it's something...

Yeah. I know it's not much. But considering the lack of progress on the kitchen lately, anything is good as far as I'm concerned. Now that the window is in and that wall is studded out, we can get the electrician and the plumber in here. After that, we can drywall and the room may start to actually look like a real room again. The new window is about a foot bigger in length and width and has the look of 16 separate smaller panes. We would've loved to go even bigger, but then we would've had to sacrifice some wall cabinets and we didn't want to do that.

Window Before:



































Window After:

Highlights of the Day (Wednesday)...

1) Hannah slept through the night! YEEHAW!!!

2) Shuffled both children off to daycare with no major tantrums or catatrophes.

3) Cursed Aetna when I realized they cashed a check I had sent months ago and forgot about, taking every single penny of my unemployment that was deposited today (and then some).

4) Begrudgingly called Steve and asked him for money to deposit in my now overdrawn checking account. [sigh]

5) Did nothing productive what-so-ever all day except wash Grace's sleeping bag. I suck.

6) Had BK chicken fries for lunch. Yummmm!

7) Became increasingly annoyed at Steve when he said he wanted to go grocery shopping before picking up the girls at my mom's house, and yet continued to work on his truck, make phone calls, etc. that really didn't need to be done until we got home. Fine for him, but the later I get the girls home, the later they stay up and I wanted to watch ALL of "Lost" dammit. Stupid jackass....

8) Open Letter to Steve:

Dear Steve,

Turning up the radio in the car to drown out the noise of the girls' screaming and yelling and laughing does not calm them down or make them quieter. It makes them louder. Loser.

Love,
Your wife

9) Was quite disappointed that I still don't know the fate of Sawyer on "Lost" after tonight's episode. (Not to mention I wanted some of that eye candy regardless of whether or not he survived in the ocean.

10) Missed "Martha Stewart: Apprentice" because my husband sucks and wouldn't surrender the remote control during that hour. Bastard.

11) Had a 15-minute converation with my mother-in-law about how she can't shit anymore now that she's quit smoking. Um, thanks for the info.

12) It got worse when she went on to tell me how many suppositories she has "shoved up her ass" (he exact words) this past week. Oy.

Highlights of the Day (Tuesday)

1) Hannah was only up in the middle of the night for half the time she was the night before. Yay.

2) It was overcast today with on and off showers, so I didn't have to feel guilty that I didn't take Hannah outside much.

3) Had to deal with 4 seperate tantrums today due to Hannah's wardrobe. First, she wanted to get dressed the second I got her out of the crib. So she did. One hour later, she wanted her freshly washed "Pooh Bear Jammies" on. So we dug them out of the dryer and put them on her. A few hours later, she wanted to get dressed again. But not in the same outfit she had put on earlier. I told her noand that her choices were the Pooh jammies or the first outfit. I actually won that one and she kept the Pooh jammies on (Not without much screaming and throwing things, of course). One hour later, she wanted the first outfit back on "because it matches Mommy's shirt..." (They were both pink.) Cool. After her nap, she discovered a pair of too small pink shoes with embroidered flowers on the strap and screamed for 10 minutes for her button down floral shirt "that matches the shoes." Jesus, this kid is killing me.

4) Had a slight sand-in-the-eyes emergency this evening when the girls decided that throwing sand in each other's faces was kind of fun, regardless of what Mommy kept saying was inevitably going to happen to one of them.

5) During the above fiasco, discovered that although Hannah is tiny, DAMN that kid's got some strength.

6) Realized that the day my dish washing detergant will no longer sit on my bathroom sink, will be a day I party "Like it's 1999."

7) Speaking of which, I heard "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince on the radio again today. That's just weird. Do you think someone's trying to tell me something?

8) Had to suffer ALL day today when I woke up and discovered that Steve had consumed every last drop of non-alcoholic beverages in our home (other than coffee) last night and that I was going to have to suck it up and suffer all day in my Cokeless hell.

9) Realized I could've gone down the street to the gas station for something to drink, but it didn't seem worth the hassle of throwing Hannah in the car and/or the embarrassment of having to pay for it using all dimes and nickels.

10) Grace is just odd. She bought two cheap plastic necklaces for herself and Hannah at some point during her stay with Grandma the past two days. For Hannah, she picked a cute little plastic heart with a smiley face on it. For herself? Why, an eyeball of course. What could be more feminine and age appropriate than a cheap, plastic eyeball necklace? [shaking head]

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Monday)

1) Was up from 2:30 AM until 4:30 AM with Hannah, whom apparently decided last night that cribs are the work of the devil.

2) Sent Grace downstairs to watch TV this morning by herself for the first time ever because I swear if I had had to actually get up at 6:30 AM when she woke me, I would've died.

3) Was relieved when 20 minutes later, she came back up and just hung out in her room with me until I woke up.

4) Went to the park and made our traditional walk to the corner store for penny candy (5 purple Swedish fish and 5 red ones for each girl, a $0.25 juice for each one, and 2 gummy worms for Grace). As much as I sometimes bitch in my head when they beg to go there (because I'm lazy like that), I adore the time when we sit at the table in front of the store and just hang out and talk while they eat their loot.

5) Came home and helped the girls paint a billion pieces of uncooked flower-shaped pasta so we could make bracelets. Move over Martha... Allison's in town.

6) Had a wonderful afternoon playing outside with Grace while Hannah was napping. I love days when she's not a typical 4-year-old lemme tell ya...

7) Was bummed when I got a call that Grace's Saturday morning gymnastics class is being cancelled due to lack of participants and I had to either pull her out completely or start going to the class on Friday evenings from 5:00 to 6:00. I'm not too pleased with the time, but she likes it too much for me to just pull her out. Dammit...

8) Finally received our insurance cards in the mail. Must... make... appointments... for... girls'... annual... checkups....

9) Once again, got turned on by the dude in "Prison Break" this evening. Yummmm....

10) My four-year-old told me my ass is fat (not those exact words). Yup. Thanks Sunshine. I love you too...

Hey gang. Sorry I haven't blogged all weekend.

We've all been really busy, and for some reason, Grace has decided I'm the only person in the whole wide world that she can be with. Oh, except for her cousin, Gunnar, who is hell on wheels and is all of three (4 in November) and likes to start punching random 7-year-old kids twice his size for no apparent reason when we're all at the playground together. Little shit.

Anyway, hopefully tomorrow things will go back to "normal" (whatever that may be), and I can once again bless you all with my charming wit. (That's dripping with sarcasm BTW...)

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Friday)

1) Got some cleaning done this morning. Yay.

2) Steve started installing the new window in the kitchen.

3) Was relieved when Hannah was napping at the time I had a phone meeting with my project manager at work, and Grace was busy "helping" Steve with the window.

4) Mouthed every curse word known to man when Steve quietly told me he was leaving to go buy wood while I was still on the phone with my manager, leaving me with a cranky 4-year-old and an about-to-wake-up 2-year-old. Stupid fucker.

5) Things I Said to My Children Today:

• Don't play with the drill.
• Get away from the electric saw.
• No, I will not hold the nail for you while you hammer it into a board.
• Stop licking my windshield.
• Don't sit on the windshield wipers. You'll break them.
• Don't stick your finger up your sister's nose.
• Don't eat sand.
• Stop kicking the neighbor.
• Get some clothing on! We do not play outside naked.

6) Confirmed my belief that my children do indeed take after their father.

7) Watched Grace eat a popsicle that couldn't have looked more like a penis if it had balls.

8) Decided Gene Simmons really should've quit while he was ahead.

9) Jon Bon Jovi is hot.

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Thursday)

1) Drove to the office again, wondering how many friggin' idiots can't drive in the rain (apparently a lot of them), and thanking god I don't make the commute every day anymore.

2) Heard "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince while driving to work. I jammed. And headbanged.

3) Went to the social security office to order a new card. Decided they couldn't pay me enough to work there.

4) Was tempted to ask the secretary if her desk drawer smells like pee yet.

5) Realized that I never in my life have seen a billboard actually being changed. I mean one day, I drive past and it's advertising how to get varicose veins removed. The next day, the vein ad is gone and the indoor waterpark one is in it's place. So when do billboard changers work? In the middle of the night? And what do they call themselves? Sign Keepers? Billboard Changers? Hmmmm.....

6) Discovered my bank account is overdrawn. Son of a....

7) Paid for $4.00 of gas in all change. Because my account is overdrawn.

8) Came home to a letter in the mail saying Aetna finally approved us for health insurance. It's about damn time. Bastards.

9) Was annoyed to read that due to Steve's Body Mass Index (based on the height and weight information I gave them), and his "recent smoking habit" (He doesn't smoke... he chews tobacco sometimes), they're going to charge us like $35 more a month than the original quote was. Fuckers.

10) Told Steve he should really lose weight so we can save some money. (In reality, if he actually lost anymore, he'd be a scrawny little bastard.)

11) Made mental note to make appointments for the girls' 2-year and 4-year checkups now that we're bigshots with health insurance and all.

12) Called my cat a "buttfucker" in my head and one point. It made me laugh that I would even do that.

Highlights and Observations of the Day (Wednesday)...

1) Woke up sort of nervous for my first day back at work. Weird.

2) Left late because I realized I had forgotten to fill out a billion papers for HR crap.

3) Remembered again why I don't miss that 70-mile drive to the office.

4) Was told that finding the social security card I had searched for all day yesterday would've done me no good anyway because I need one with my married name on it.

5) Am annoyed I have to drive to the social security office tomorrow to get aforementioned social security card with my married name on it.

6) Was mortified when I went to the rest room and the Visitors badge I had clipped on my pants pocket fell into the toilet I had just peed in.

7) Gingerly retrieved visitors badge (ewwwww!) and blotted it off with paper towels as best as I could before putting into back into the plastic cover it had fallen out of.

8) Washed my hands like I've never washed my hands before.

9) Wondered if the secretary's desk drawer will start to smell like pee in a day or two.

10) Was stoked to find out the company is indeed going to pay their portion of the social security tax, so that's a few hundred extra dollars in my paycheck each week. Always a good thing...

11) Was pissed when I realized I totally forgot to watch Miami Ink last night. Dammit to hell...

12) Couldn't stop laughing when Hannah walked around all night, singing, "Diarrhea... Pbblt! Pbblt!... Diarrhea... Pbblt! Pbblt!" (Steve almost crapped himself laughing.)

13) Laughed even harder when Steve asked Hannah where she learned that song and Hannah said, "From Grandma." Um yeah... I don't think so...

Highlights and Observations of the Day (Tuesday)...

1) Woke up with a horrendous headache again. I swear I have a brain tumor...

2) Threw together a resume at 7:00 this morning because my old company insists they need it for HR purposes if I want to subcontract for them.

3) Spent the majority of the day searching fruitlessly for my social security card, which my company says they need me to bring with me tomorrow for payroll purposes. Haven't found it. [sigh]

4) Figured I'd tell the bastards I worked for them for 9 years. They shouldn't need my social security card.

5) Watched Hannah walk around all day in a floral print onesie (too small), a plaid skort, and red socks pulled all the way up to her knees. Freaky kid.

6) Was on the phone with a friend who "witnessed" Hannah freaking out because I wouldn't let her put on her sweatpants she so desperately needed to put on. (She would've had a heat stroke.) The tantrums are worse when they involve button-down shirts. I swear.

7) Received a phone call from the bank, wanting to set up closing for our kitchen loan. Thank you freakin' god! Apparently, I won't be cooking for eternity on our grill, as I was starting to suspect.

8) Found out our house was appraised at $70,000 more than what we originally paid for it. Beyond needing it for the loan, it's nice to know that all of the hard work we (OK... Steve) has put into fixing up this Partridge Family reject hasn't gone unnoticed.

9) Went grocery shopping and wondered how it is that Steve can spend (literally) 10 minutes trying to choose just the right pair of tweezers. Guys, there weren't that many there to choose from. Jesus.

10) Was annoyed Steve paid $5.67 for a pair of tweezers when there was a perfectly good pair there for $1.54.

11) Figured it was his money so why the hell should I care.

12) Watched Rock Star: INXS only because Dave Navarro was wearing tight black leather pants and actually jammed with the contestants tonight. I swear to god, I orgasmed. [heavy sigh]

13) Threw Snakey in the trash. So far, no one has noticed.

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Monday)...

1) Opened my eyes this morning, dreading the day to come because Steve was taking my car to go to a golf tournament, essentially, "stranding" me here with the girls who knew it was supposed to be "Park Day."

2) Thanked God I was smart enough to plan ahead and go last night to the gas station and buy enough nicotene to last me through the day.

3) Pulled every fun activity I could out of my ass to keep the girls entertained.

4) Thanked God again that the girls were surprisingly well behaved.

5) Decided I'm 99.9% sure I can throw "Snakey" in the garbage (both halves) tomorrow and he won't be missed by either child.

6) Had good sex. (It's been awhile. Stupid stomach bug that weaved its way threw the household.)

7) Removed all temporary walls keeping the kitchen (or lack thereof) blocked off from the rest of the house. I feel so "free."

8) Had a slight panic attack realizing that tomorrow is my last day (for now), where I'll be officially unemployed.

9) Just realized that I forgot to throw my last load of laundry in the dryer. Since the lightbulb is burned out in the laundry room (for a good 2 months now), I'll have to rewash that load in the morning. Dammit to hell...

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Sunday)...

1) Woke up with a headache yet again. (Every friggin' month when AF is ending, I get one for a few days. I hate that bitch.)

2) Literally 30 mere minutes after we woke up, Grace was whining, crying, and begging to go somewhere and to see her cousin, Gunnar.

3) Over the course of about two hours, made about a billion phone calls to Grandma, Nana, and Aunt Jen, trying to find someone that either had a suggestion as to where to take Grace, wanted to take her themselves, or had some sort of plan for getting her together with Gunnar, along with 2 adults. (The two of them together requires more than one able-bodied adult. Trust me.)

4) Grandma called and said she wanted to hang out with Hannah, which was perfect, because then I could spend the day with Grace.

5) Took her to the World's Largest General Store, where we fed the goats (twice), walked around, shared a funnel cake and coke, and had a fantastic time.

6) Managed to get out of there buying only a gallon of milk, some honey for Steve (don't ask), and a 3-foot long candy gummy snake.

7) Grace decided the candy snake would make a much better toy than an edible treat, and ripped in two, gave Hannah half, named her half "Snakey", and carried it around all night.

8) She didn't understand when I told her she could not take Snakey in the bathtub with her.

9) She's sleeping with Snakey right now. The kid's not right...

10 Conversation with Grace, totally out of the blue:

Grace: "Hey Mom, why don't I have hair on my butt?"
Me [laughing]: "Um, only boys have hair on their butts."
Grace [pausing and then looking at me like I'm an idiot]: "Nuh uh. You do, and you're not a boy."
Me: "I do NOT!"
Grace: "Yes... You do."
[End of conversation.]

11) Checked my ass in the mirror 5 minutes later to make sure Grace doesn't know something that I don't.

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Friday)...

1) Took the girls to WalMart to buy Grace a leotard for gymnastics tomorrow and a new gymbag to put her stuff in.

2) Bought that and 2 pairs of pink camoflauge sweatpants (matching for the girls), 2 pink sweatshirts with ballet slippers on them (matching for the girls), a pack of socks (for Grace), a case of soda, Mary Kate and Ashley barrettes (for Grace), 2 packs of barrettes (for me), 2 insulated water bottles (Grace said she needs one for gymnastics), a pack of toilet paper (for all of us except Hannah), and 2 track suits (for the girls). So basically, $20 turned into $97.

3) Realized that Hannah has some serious anal retentiveness issues, when after throwing a fit at WalMart b/c she wanted the green jacket and pants of her track suit to match and not just coordinate, we came home and she then ate her mac & cheese out of a green bowl, made me put a green ponytail holder in her hair, and wanted the green water bottle to drink her milk out of, all while pointing out to me that all of these items matched her new jacket and pants.

4) Figured that for the time being, her obsession with green may be easier to deal with than her obsession with button-down shirts. I mean, they don't make that many button-down shirts for girls.

5) Ate cupcakes for lunch, followed by a piece of string cheese.

6) Didn't argue when Hannah cried to wear her new lime green track suit to the festival.

7) Went to the festival tonight, where Steve got roped into taking Grace on the Scrambler, I got roped into taking both girls on the Himilaya, and Steve tried all night to talk Grace into going on this ridiculously inappropriate ride where they would've gone upside down.

8) Spent about $40 on stupid freakin' tickets because the bastards didn't offer a wristband that allowed the kids to ride unlimited rides.

9) Was slightly embarrassed when Hannah caused the carnival worker of the submarine kiddie ride to shut the ride down so she could get off (she had NO problem riding the exact same ride 3 weeks ago), and then had to restart the ride for the kids still on it.

10) Steve and I ate WAY too much deep-fried food in one night... cheese fries, chicken fingers, funnel cakes, waffles and ice cream... URP!

11) Wondered what the hell we were thinking when we won both girls HUGE inflatible hammers, about 4.5 feet long that squeak when you beat something with them. Yeah. Tomorrow should be fun. (Maybe they'll forget they're in my trunk.)

12) Didn't argue when Hannah cried to wear her new lime green track suit to bed.

Highlights and Observations of the Day (Thursday)...

1) Laughed my ass off when our crazy neighbor asked us for white shoe polish. I looked down at his feet to see one bright white sneaker and one dingy, (and totally different) white sneaker. He said he wanted to polish the old dirty one so it would match the new white one better. [shaking head]

2) Literally gagged when I watched Steve drink a Dixie cup of straight vinegar because he heard recently that it's good for the digestive system. Seriously dude, seek help.

3) Marveled at the human body's ability to take solid food that you've just eaten and turn it into liquid that comes spewing out of your body just 5 minutes later. It really is a fascinating process.

4) Dropped a brand new unwrapped tampon into the toilet and refused to reach in to get it out.

5) Crossed my fingers as I flushed and hoped it would go down without involving any sort of plunging.

6) Decided there was a conspiracy against me when I had to go run some mandatory errands and there was a train, a bridge inspection, and two "Oversized Load" trucks that added 20 minutes onto my trip while I squeezed my ass cheeks together and willed my body not to crap.

7) Promised to stop talking about my shit to the rest of you poor souls. I swear I'm done now.

8) Walked out of the notary office to find that lovely Aunt Flow had decided to make her presence known to the rest of the world, and had deposited a lovely quarter-sized stain on the front of my khaki capris.

9) Had no choice but to continue to the post office in spite of it because I had to overnight Steve's medical records to Aetna and I only had 15 minutes left until the deadline was up.

10) Clutched my bright fuscia and black purse (free with the Seasonale birth control pills given to me by my OB) in front of my crotch the entire time, probably drawing more attention than the stain would've.

11) Received phone calls and emails that I will officially begin sub-contracting with my old company starting next week. The assignment is for 40 hours a week for 6-8 weeks. However, since I still intend to keep the girls in daycare only part-time, I'm foreseeing a lot of late nights and weekends filled with tech writing work. Joy.

12) Just shook my head when for the entire ride home from my parents' house, the girls sat in the back, making farting noises and calling each other "Stinky Butt" and "Poopy Head." Such little ladies I have.

13) Realized that me joining in and singing the "Diarrhea Song" probably didn't help matters... [If you're walking down the hall, and you hear something fall... Diarrhea... Pbbblt! Pbbblt!... Diarrhea!... Pbbblt! Pbbblt!]

14) Hoped I'm not the only one who used to sing that song growing up, because otherwise, you'll all really think I have some serious issues...

OK. Here we go. Highlights and Observations...

of My Day (Yesterday... Wednesday)

1) Woke up and shortly thereafter, found myself doubled over with horrible, burning stomach cramps like I've never experienced before. Sweet.

2) Sent a screaming Hannah with my mom for her first day in her new room at daycare (without my mom). *sigh* Yup, it was shaping up to be a fantastic day, lemme tell ya.

3) Was annoyed Hannah wouldn't let me take her picture before she left. (Not annoyed at her... just annoyed in general.)

4) Did nothing except sit in front of the computer all day and run to the bathroom every 5 minutes or so for um "relief."

5) Went to the gas station for tampons (that's right folks... AF is also here) because I was afraid a drive to the grocery store would result in me shitting my pants.

6) Was bummed when the gas station was out of cinnamon AND peppermint Altoids (the only two flavors I really like), and settled on Spearment instead. Um, blech. (And yet, I continue to eat them...)

7) Typed several emails to some friends, telling them about my digestive troubles, and kept realizing that they really didn't need or want to know about them, so I never clicked Send.

8) Decided, however, that all of you loyal blog readers deserved to know about my um, "issues." (Aren't you lucky.)

9) Made the mistake of telling Grace she starts gymnastics class on Saturday. It's now ALL she talks about... "Is it tomorrow Mommy?... When I wake up, am I going to gymnastics?... When is it Saturday Mommy?" [sigh] I really should've waited until Saturday morning to tell her.

10) Watched my children fight over a picture of a basketball in a book, both claiming it was "Mine!" Yeah, um girls, newsflash... it's a picture! Damn freaks.

Sorry gang, but I'm afraid I'm down for the count...

this evening. I've been doubled over in pain with stomach cramps ALL DAY, and I've spent about 85% of my time in the john. Apparently, I got Hannah's stomach bug, just from the other end. I also feel like a MACK truck hit me. I've managed to ignore it most of the day, but I'm afraid it's kicking my ass at this point. I'm headin' to bed. I'll give ya some highlights in the mornin'....

Highlights and Observations of the Day (Tuesday)...

1) Sent Gracie off to her first day in the Pre-K room at daycare. *sigh* She's getting so big...

2) Realized that since having children, I say, "We'll see..." way more than I used to. It's a damn shame those children automatically assume that means "Yes."

3) Did pretty much nothing productive, other than wash a few dishes. I suck.

4) Ate junk food all day long. I suck.

5) Ate Cheetos and thought of my friend Emily. ;)

6) Unlike her, I ate the Cheetos and smoked a cigarette. I suck.

7) Decided that the whole menstruation thing for women who know (or are pretty sure) they are done having children, is just another one of nature's cruel jokes.

8) Hand washed one of Hannah's shirts, complete with bleach, because she informed me that she is wearing a shirt with buttons to daycare tomorrow. (Seriously... the kid is two. And this whole obsession with buttons is becoming a bit disturbing.)

9) Laughed my ass off for the one billionth time when Hannah called her bathing suit her "swimming soup."

10) Realized I will be soooo bummed when she finally says it correctly. :(

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Sunday AND Monday)...

This is going to be a Double Day list since I bagged last night's blog in favor of some much needed sleep...

1) Steve and I decided at 2:30 PM yesterday that I needed to paint the family room before we loaded all of the toys back in. Since I was starting to get really aggrevated by the mountains of toys in our living room, I knew it had to be done right then.

2) Threw Grace in the car to go buy paint, having no clue what color I was going to get and figuring Grace could pick.

3) Grace picked a really dark burgandy, even though I tried to talk her into a dijon yellow color. Hey, I figured if she was going to cry about it, she must be really passionate about her color decision.

4) Came home to find my sister and her husband here. All fine and dandy except I really wanted to get started on the painting.

5) They left two hours later with Grace (thank you god), and I started painting. By now it was 6:30, and Hannah wanted to "help me." *sigh* (Surprisingly, she did rather well.)

6) While absorbed in painting (Steve wasn't here.), I hear Hannah say, "Mommy, this is gross! Look at my poopy!" and found her in the middle of the living room with her diaper removed and her poop covered butt just blowing in the wind. Dammit to hell...

7) Finished painting around 9:00 and put Hannah to bed.

8) Crashed. Hard.

9) 6:30 AM this morning brought the second coat of paint on the walls. While moving the ladder, I knocked over a lamp, breaking it in a bazillion pieces, and one of those pieces sheared my ankle. Lovely way to start the day.

10) Grace came home from my sister's and wanted to "help" paint too. I now had a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old messing around with dark burgandy paint in a room with hardwood floors. Sweet! (Steve wasn't here.)

11) Tried to continue painting while the 2-year-old whined, cried, begged to be held, and had meltdowns every 5 minutes. (Steve wasn't here.)

12) Contemplated painting her mouth shut, but figured there are laws against that or something. (Thought, "Hmmmm... Steve isn't here. No one would ever have to know...)

13) Considered running away at one point, but didn't feel like packing so I just stayed. (Not to mention that Steve wasn't here to parent the children I'd be leaving behind.)

14) Finished painting the room this afternoon. (Steve wasn't here.)

15) Began wet mopping the foors for the one hundredth billion time to try to get the goddamned plaster dust off of it. (Steve wasn't here.)

16) Watched my husband drive off with the neighbor to go pan for gold in a local stream. (I'm not kidding. Fucking freaks.)

17) Loaded the toys back into the playroom, much to the delight of the children. (Steve wasn't here.)

18) Got in a tiff with Steve because I thought he ate the other half of my t-bone steak, when in reality, I had already eaten it like the friggin' pig I am. Um, oops. (Steve was here for this...)

19) Realized that the white-walled living room now looks really bland next to the cozy burgandy family room and that I should probably paint the living room.

20) Reminded myself how much I hate painting and decided the white/burgandy contrast is actually very trendy and I should really keep it that way.

Sorry gang...Too tired for an official "Highlights" list.

Steve finished the playroom today while I took the girls all over creation in order to keep them out of the dusty, crowded, noisy house.

Hannah had about a bazillion meltdowns for no apparent reason, wearing on my every nerve and causing me to lose every last shred of patience I had stored up.

Grace picked some cool pink suede boots with fur trim as her "back to school" shoes, and a cute denim mini skirt with a leopard print belt. There's hope for her yet...

Hannah picked Elmo sneakers. Yuck.

My parents came to pick Grace up to sleep over tonight and Hannah cried to go along too so they took her.

I got a call at 9:30 that Hannah was hysterical for Mommy and I had to go get her. Yeah. Great.

Wet mopped the floor three times over the course of two hours this evening and there's still a film of dust on it, as well as the walls. I guess I know what I'm doing tomorrow, huh?

Must... go... to... bed...

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Friday)...

1) An old woman who could barely see over the steering wheel decided to back into my driver side doors at the gas station this morning because, apparently, it's OK to put your car in reverse without actually looking to see if anything or anyone is behind you.

2) Took the girls to a strip mall to get them out of the house for a bit. Why is it that the dollar store actually ends up costing me many dollars when I take my children with me?

3) Then we went for lunch at my favorite pizzeria.

4) Next was Eckerd drug store, where they somehow convinced me to buy them each a bottle of nail polish (Grace picked hot pink. Hannah picked neon/lime green) and a tube of lipstick (Grace = hot pink. Hannah = cherry red)

5) Came home and painted our nails and put on lipstick. I allow my children paint their own nails and mine, as well as apply their own lipstick, so we all looked like dimented clowns by the time we were done.

6) Steve came home way too early, and I was thanking god that I had managed to clear almost all of the toys out of the playroom (as his note had politely requested) in preparation for tearing the ceiling down in that room upon his arrival home from work.

7) Although I applaud Steve's efforts to seal off that room before beginning demolition, I must say, he failed and I now have a lot of plaster dust to get off of every flat surface in the living room tomorrow.

8) Escaped to my parents' house after dinner when I couldn't take the clutter, dust, and moody children that were resulting from having their playroom destroyed. Bathed them and made them dinner there, allowing me to reminisce about how nice it is to have an actual functioning kitchen.

9) Realized I need to decide within a day or two what color to paint the playroom once Steve finishes it. This wouldn't be a big deal if I didn't have to make sure it compliments/coordinates with the kitchen since they're adjoining. This is hard to do since we haven't even chosen our cabinet color, countertops, tiles, backsplash, or paint color in the kitchen.

10) Almost pissed myself when Steve read a party invitation we received for Grace's godfather's children later this month, and Steve actually said to me, "Does that say 'Peanuts Only'?" Um, no dear... that says "Regrets Only." Dear god... Granted, the mom's writing is horrendous, but are you kidding me? What would "Peanuts Only" mean exactly? You can only come if you bring shelled nuts or if you were created from the imagination of Charles Schultz? [shaking head]

Potato Sticks (For Heather)...

Heather,

These are potato sticks. You know... basically potato chips in stick form. Sooooo good. :)

And EE, I searched desperately today on numerous occasions for a picture of those ice pop push triangle thingamajigs, but couldn't find one. Since I can't remember what they're actually called, my Google searches weren't turning up anything even remotely close. LOL! Sorry!!!

Highlights and Observations of the Day (Thursday)...

1) Hannah woke me up at 5:00 AM, and I walked in and found her literally covered in crap from a diaper blowout, some of it already dried, meaning it had probably happened hours before.

2) Almost vomited cleaning her up. Dude, don't make me do shit like that before I've had any coffee...

3) Actually called the township supervisors' office today only to be told that the woman who handles requests like mine wasn't in today and to call back tomorrow. (Luckily, Steve apparently didn't remember I was supposed to have picked up the phantom paperwork today.)

4) Caused a friend of mine to obsess enough to write about it in her blog. (Freak.)

5) Took the girls to Blockbuster tonight to pick some movies, where the kind girl working there informed me that although they say you have a 7 day grace period to return movies, their computers actually give you 8 days. (Good to know. Mwaaahaaahaaa!)

6) Bought a previously viewed copy of "Love Actually" for $5.99 even though I've never seen it before, simply because I've heard countless chicks say it's one of their favorite movies. They'd better not be lying...

7) Held my nose and walked into the pet store next to Blockbuster because Grace would've had a meltdown otherwise, and I wasn't in the mood. The place is gross and smells so bad it literally makes me gag. And to make matters worse, it's 99.9% ugly, gross animals like snakes, lizards, and fish. Ewwwww!

8) Received a confirmation email from my old company, with a bunch of papers I have to sign and fax back, and verification of what my hourly rate will be, etc. It's sweet, lemme tell ya!

9) Am embarrassed to admit that tonight was the first night I actually sat and really watched coverage of the victims of Katrina. I cried. I can see groups of people and just be sad, but show me one baby or child in that situation and I lose it. :(

10) Just drank one of the kid's bottles of tropical punch bottle instead of the Miller Lite I would normally grab. Perhaps I'm coming down with Hannah's illness? Because I can't think of any other reason I'd do that.

Highlights and Observations of the Day (Wednesday)...

1) Was relieved to see Hannah ask for (and eat) FOUR bowls of Cheerios in one sitting this morning, about 10 minutes after waking up.

2) Realized afterwards I may have allowed her to overdue it on her first meal after the whole stomach bug thing, but it worked out and she was fine.

3) Pretty much did nothing all day except put a few clean dishes away and washed the new bathmat Cooter puked on overnight. Yay me.

4) Lied right to Steve's face when he asked me if I called the township supervisors regarding the sewage payment on the bungalow. (Dear god, someone remind me to do that tomorrow. I think I promised him papers I'm supposedly picking up tomorrow from the woman I supposedly talked to today.)

5) Decided I'm going to Hell.

6) Begged to be the one "allowed" to go grocery shopping (with Grace) tonight while the other one watched Hannah, just because I really needed to get out of the house.

7) Bought potato sticks at the store and just ate some. I haven't had those since like high school. They still rock and I was mentally trasnported to the days of those triangle-shaped Icees at lunch and gym class immediately following.

8) Just hit myself in the head in an attempt to kill the fly that landed there. (I failed.)

9) Put black and sparkly silver barbed wire armband temporary tattoos on Grace and Hannah tonight in the bathtub and told them they looked like biker chicks.

10) Had Grace tell me to make sure to get a bunch more the next time I go to the grocery store so when she "grows up and is allowed to ride a motorcycle," she'll have some tattoos.

11) Realized my mom is going to be annoyed that I put Grace's in a visible spot for all the daycare to see tomorrow. (She hates that.)

12) Rolled my eyes and laughed out loud about it. Whatever.

13) Practically threw out my back when Grace and I were watching "So You Think You Can Dance?" and we tried to re-enact one of the dance moves/lifts.

14) What is with the fucking flies in this house lately? Jesus... Grrr!!!!!!!

15) Got incredibly annoyed with Steve when he used the entire container of Carpet Fresh tonight, 10 minutes after I bought it, on two rooms, one of which contains nothing by a 5' x 7' area rug. Fucking idiot...

Highlights and Observations of the Day (Tuesday)...

1) Got very little sleep due to a dry-heaving child.

2) Received a phone call at 7:00 AM from my mom, saying she couldn't take Grace to daycare because Grace had hurled all over her feather mattress (DOH!) at 11:00 the night before.

3) Luckily, it was once and done with Grace. Unluckily for me, it meant she was her usual hyperactive self today.

4) Hannah only puked on me once while the appraiser was here. It could've been worse right?

5) Had the appraiser/friend casually ask exactly how much we need the house to be appraised at in order for us to get the loan for the kitchen. And then said we'd see each other at the big Labor Day party this weekend. It pays to live in a small town apparently. ;)

6) Was thankful Hannah kept falling asleep all morning while watching TV, which meant at least she wasn't puking.

7) Received a phone call from my old company saying they have some per diem tech writing work they'd like me to do, starting after Labor Day. Sweet!

8) Talked to Steve while he was at work and he informed me he had a "surprise" for the girls... a huge plastic drainage pipe he got on site and was bringing home for the girls to use as a tunnel. Fantastic.

9) Obsessively stuck my finger in Hannah's mouth all day, checking to make sure she wasn't dehydrated. (Basically, I'm begging to catch this bug. *sigh*)

10) Got in a screaming match with my dad over the phone and then decided it was easier to just hang up on him.

11) Decided around 7:00 to take Hannah to urgent care because she was still puking, refusing liquids, and acting all glassy eyed and funky.

12) Pried Grace off my leg and felt horrible as I drove away with Grace standing there begging to come with me.

13) Took my mother-in-law with me to help entertain Hannah and keep me company.

14) Got there and mother-in-law managed to get Hannah acting fine, making me look like an idiot for bringing her in.

15) Beamed with pride when Hannah sat there and didn't make a peep when the doctor (whom I know and whom attended my wedding... again with that small town thing) examined her and even swabbed her throat for strep.

16) Was relieved beyond belief when they said they were giving Hannah a shot to stop the vomiting.

17) Felt guilty for being glad they were giving my kid a shot.

18) Mother-in-law almost pissed our pants laughing when they brought in a little basket filled with stickers after Hannah got the shot, to try to calm her down. Hannah went through the basket and picked out about 20 of them, carefully placing the ones she didn't want back into the basket (all 5 of 'em).

19) Mother-in-law shoved 20 aforementioned stickers in my purse, which means I would've been in trouble had they frisked me on the way out. Couldn't... stop... laughing...

20) Nurses offered Hannah a freezie pop which she refused, so mother-in-law and I got her to finally eat it by blowing up a surgical glove, telling Hannah it was a rooster, and telling her she'd better eat the freezie pop or the rooster would. (We acted all of this out, complete with voices.) Couldn't... stop... laughing...

21) Hannah ate the freezie pop. See? It worked.

22) While waiting for the strep test results, entertained restless Hannah by squeezing and tying the "rooster" into various other animals, making us feel like circus clowns...

23) Mother-in-law shoves 2 surgical gloves into my purse (one for each girl) next to the 20 stickers. Seriously, was she trying to get me arrested? Couldn't... stop... laughing...

24) Mother-in-law makes comment about how she hopes they don't have video cameras there. Gee. Ya think? Couldn't... stop... laughing...

25) Wondered when urgent care visits became so much fun. I'm so taking her along on all of the kids' doctor visits.

26) Came home to an already sleeping Grace and got a good 4 ounces of fluid in Hannah before she crashed too.

27) God bless whatever the hell was in that shot.

28) Don't be surprised if my mother-in-law and I are on next week's episode of "America's Most Wanted." Damn theives...

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Monday)...

1) Decided to forego "Playground Day" due to possible rain, and headed to Big Lots instead.

2) Spent $68 on all sorts of things from Dora puzzles, to Pound Puppies, to toilet paper, to a big looped chenelle bathroom mat that we bought because Grace said it looked like a bunch of worms.

3) Grabbed McD's for lunch on the way home, where I ordered Chicken Selects. (Hey, at least it wasn't chicken fries.)

4) Ate the Chicken Selects, complete with buffalo sauce and was rewarded 20 minutes later by another nuclear explosion in the bathroom. (You'd think I'd learn, wouldn't you?)

5) VomitFest 2005 started when Hannah puked all over our sofa.

6) Gave her a bath and cleaned and disinfected the scene of the crime, only to have her repeat her performance in the exact same spot about 30 minutes later. Bath #2.

7) In between vomits, she was pleasant as can be, hyper as hell, and fighting her nap.

8) Grandma to the rescue when she picked up Grace to spend the night in our feeble attempt to keep Grace from catching it.

9) Vomit encore around 3:30, except on me this time. Bath #3, this one complete with a hair washing.

10) FINALLY took a nap and slept until 6:30, which meant her normal bedtime of 8:30 was going to be highly unlikely.

11) Had Steve walk in from work and ask me why I hadn't cleaned up at all since the appraiser is coming tomorrow morning.

12) Kicked him in the nuts and punched him in the face.

13) 7:30PM: Hannah decides she's hungry, having an empty stomach and all, and steals a leftover Chicken Selects off my plate and runs off, taking a good bite or two before I notice and take it away.

14) 9:30 PM: Chicken Select reappears in Hannah's performance of, "I Vomit Like a Champ", performed on the recliner. (What is with her attraction to large, upholstered furniture.)

15) Bath #4, again with a hair washing.

16) 10:00 PM: Apparently, she'd rather deposit the Chicken Select on the playroom rug and does just that.

17) Sorry kid. The bathtub is closed for the evening. It's a soapy washcloth and some scented babywipes this go 'round.

18) 10:30 PM: The star of the show is discovered, asleep in her PBK chair, obviously exhausted.

19) She's placed in her crib on top of numerous towels, with a prayer from her mom that VomitFest 2005 is over. It was fun while it lasted, but I'm kind of over it at this point.

20) Am sitting here wondering if vomit smells will increase the value of our home tomorrow morning for the appraiser.

21) Things to do tomorrow:

1. Spray lots of heavily scented cleaning products into the air before the apparaiser arrives.
2. Purchase large vat of Spot Shot and have at it, possibly making Hannah help me.
3. Thank god that he has allowed this evil bug to pass the rest of the people in the family by. (This is wishful thinking on my part. Play along, will ya?)
4. Reschedule appointment to take the cat to the vet for bloodwork to check if he's diabetic. Sorry Dr. It ain't happenin' tomorrow.

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Sunday)...

1) Managed to pull a muscle in my neck first thing this morning. Son of a b*tch, that hurts!

2) Milked the pulled neck muscle as much as possible, convincing Steve I really needed help getting the girls dressed this morning. [evil grin]

3) Dropped the girls off at Grandma's house for the day, allowing me to come home and do absolutely nothing except eat ice cream, watch movies, and do the nasty with my husband.

4) Trying to "do the nasty" with your husband without moving your head (due to a pulled neck muscle) is not only challenging, but not much fun either.

5) Heard a knock on my door and opened it to find a woman and her 13-year-old son who were looking for the son's deadbeat dad that had lived here before we bought the house from his step-mother, and wanted any information I could give her (which wasn't much).

6) I heard the whole sordid story and we exchanged phone numbers and emails because I've now made it my personal life mission to find the boy's fuckhead father for him.

7) Finally succumbed to the girls' tantrums and whining and let them go outside tonight after a day of pouring down rain, where they were greeted with huge mud puddles and soaking wet toys and swingsets.

8) Didn't care when the girls wanted to strip after getting wet on the above mentioned swing set, and allowed them to disrobe down to their socks, shoes, and underwear/diaper to continue playing outside, making us the true rednecks we are.

9) Felt my heart melt when Hannah grabbed me in a big hug, kissed me, and said, "You're my best friend, Mommy." [sigh]

10) Got a phone call from the guy coming to appraise our house this week and after a few minutes of conversation, discovered that we know each other through a mutual friend, and have, on more than one occasion, been shitfaced together. SCORE!

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Saturday)...

1) Hannah didn't sleep through the night again. Zzzzz...

2) Woke up to two children in good moods for a change. (Thank god for small miracles.)

3) Called the vet first thing this morning and was told Salinger still didn't pee for them so they could check a uring sample.

4) Had Grace ask me very 5 minutes for the next 5 hours if the doctor called yet so we could go get her cat.

5) Cleaned out the entire upstairs kitchen/spare room. Surprisingly, it only took about two hours and now I'm wondering why the hell I let it sit there for the past 4 years, causing many an argument between me and Steve.

6) Hannah decided napping wasn't necessary today. Mommy thought otherwise. Mommy won. (Eventually.)

7) The vet finally called. There were crystals in Salinger's urine, so antibiotics and a switch to special food should fix him up just fine.

8) Also mentioned his blood sugar was elevated. Could be stress related, but now I have to take him back next week for a blood draw to check for diabetes.

9) Realized that if it is diabetes, I have a whole other set of problems since I can't afford what may be involved to keep him alive. :(

10) The Crack Kids were back in full force tonight, allowing me to justify to myself yet again, why I drink.

Highlights and Observations of My Day (Friday)...

1) Was up half the night with Hannah, although I'm still not sure why.

2) In my exhausted state in the middle of the night, was crying a little about the cats. Apparently, I like them more than I realized. (Shut up Tracey.)

3) Was woken up at 6:30 AM by Grace who, for some unknown reason, thought we were going to get a puppy today (huh?) and then cried non-stop for an hour when I told her that no, we were absolutely not getting a puppy today.

4) At 7:00, heard Hannah over the monitor, and walked in to find her with her jammie shorts off and all twisted up in her jammie top becuase she was trying to get undressed.

5) Hannah refused to come downstairs (complete with a tantrum) or leave her room until she was fully dressed in a plaid skort and a button-down shirt. The shirt is the key here since she now refuses to wear any shirt without buttons. Freak.

6) Called the vet and made an appointment to take Salinger in on Monday, and was instructed to try to collect a urine sample sometime on Sunday in preparation. Great. Three more days with the poor things locked in the basement.

7) Took the girls to the park where surprisingly, things went rather well.

8) Came home at noon and found a message from the vet saying if I couldn't bring Salinger in today, we'd have to reschedule for Tuesday.

9) Made a bazillion phone calls trying to find someone (anyone would do) to come sit with the girls while I took the cat to the vet, since Hannah had just gone down for her nap.

10) My sister to the rescue. YAHOO! Sisters ROCK!

11) Had to leave Salinger at the vet overnight since I didn't get a urine sample, so there's more guilt (and more friggin' money I don't have).

12) Was informed he'll need his rabies shot and vaccinations while there since he hasn't been to the vet in five years and there have been cases of rabid bats in the county this year. (Um, yeah. AND?) More money... *sigh*

13) Came home to two children who decided that fighting with each other was their best form of entertainment today.

14) Went to my mother-in-law's for pizza, where my children consumed no real dinner, but found room for literally about 10 popsicles each and a package of gummy candy.

15) Left at 8:00 with two filthy, barefooted, sugar-jacked, overtired children.

16) Placed about 18 old waterproof diaper pads under Steve's sheets to protect the mattress before letting Cooter out of the basement (in case we're wrong about which cat is the Phantom Bed Pisser).

17) Missed three phone calls from a friend I had told to call me today because I swore I wasn't going anywhere other than the park this morning. (Sorry. *sigh*)

18) Am thanking god for beer right now.

19) And Marlboros.

Highlights and Observations of the Day (Thursday)...

1) It took me a good 4 hours this morning to get motivated enough to um, like move.

2) Was informed by the woman at the notary office that the husband of the notary lady in the next town over burned her house/office down, as well as the car and the dogs in the house and will be in jail for a long time. Not really sure why she thought I cared.

3) Bought a lavendar graphic t-shirt that says "Boys Smell".

4) Lunch. Burger King. Chicken Fries. *sigh*

5) Had a friend call and leave me a voice mail where I swear to god, I thought someone died because of the way she sounded. Yeah, um, no one died.

6) Literally sobbed when I saw Grace's little face when she saw Daddy locking her beloved Salinger (our cat) in basement because he pissed on Steve's bed again. :(

7) Laughed when 10 minutes later she said, "Hey. How about if Salinger lives down there, and we get a puppy that can live up here." Little shit.

8) Regret telling the girls that tomorrow is "Playground Day." I really need to stop doing that so far in advance.

9) Ate some Nerds. Nerds rock.

10) Managed to ignore about half of the things on my To Do list rather successfully.

11) Just realized I have no bed pillow to sleep on tonight. Shit.